Fear and Ignorance --- Telling the world

[Sheila]

In various places over the forums I am a member of I read "People fear crossdressers because they do not know about us, therefor they can't understand us"

I just wanted to ask if anybody, either a CDR or their SO, have made any steps towards educating the people around them, ---- be it family, friends, neighbours, work colleagues or the public in general ---------- and no I don't just mean coming out to your SO if you are a CDR. If any of you have what was the responses you got and would you do it again

Jess

[Sophia Rearen]

have made any steps towards educating the people around them, ---- be it family, friends, neighbours, work colleagues or the public in general

Jess

yes,yes,yes,yes and when enfemme in public yes. Never had any negative reactions. Most, immediatly thought I was gay. After a brief conversation they seemed to understand the difference. Some wanted to know why, which of course, I don't have the answer to. Education is the key

[Ellaine]

Same as Sophie Jess. I've gained friends and not lost any!!
It's a natural part of coming out.

[Sandra]

Only talked to friends and with people where I work, most seemed interested and learned that just because a man likes to present as a woman they are not always gay. Funny how that word always comes up when chatting about CDing to people it seems to be an automatic assumption.
Yep I'd talk to people again about it.

[Annaliese]

In various places over the forums I am a member of I read "People fear crossdressers because they do not know about us, therefor they can't understand us"

I just wanted to ask if anybody, either a CDR or their SO, have made any steps towards educating the people around them, ---- be it family, friends, neighbours, work colleagues or the public in general ---------- and no I don't just mean coming out to your SO if you are a CDR. If any of you have what was the responses you got and would you do it again

Jess

I had a Doctors appointment in Salt Lake on monday. The last appointment I had with this doctor he did not have me disrobe, so this time he had me disrobe, so there I was, bright red toe nails, a cream thong and compleatley shaved. After, he ask if I have a mental problem, if I was a tranvestited, I said no I just like the softer side of live and that I was a crossdress and explained that being a crossdresser does not mean I am gay. I don't know how this is going to turn out it was a workers comp. doctor and his report will go to workers comp. and my employer. I did ask him if he was going to put this in his report, and he said no but that it did not matter because with my shaved arms and legs and red toe nails and the thong and ladies watch that he did not have to say anything, anyone could see for them selfs.
I wish I would have had more time to talk to him, for a doctor he was not vary enlighten.

Anna

[Calliope]

I believe actions speak louder than words - and come across more sincerely.

My neighbors know me as ladylike, pleasant and, most importantly, dependable with and around children (mine and theirs). That families will drop off their kid(s) to play with my daughter when I am the only adult at home says a lot about my success in 'educating' others. (My charming daughter gets a lot of credit here!)

I cannot emphasize enough that presenting a 'sexy look' is not in our (shared) best interests when out in the community (save it for late-nite dancing).

But as far as rapping goes, most people listen to ideological statements like white noise, so save your breath. Be the change you want to see.

[melissaK]

DayTripper's mostly right - unless you already have a relationship with someone as a teacher or mentor, they aren't likely to listen too well.

Since learning to accept myself has been really really hard for me, I don't throw stones, but .... since I am in a closet at work and among most all of my friends, I hear a lot of derrogatory remarks. I make a point of saying something "tolerant" and not perpetuating the slights. From inside the closet thats about as close as I can get to Day Tripper's suggestion of being the change you want to see.

[JulieCDorlando]

Hello,
If I hear "things" being mentioned that are deragotory I do give a speech about tolerance of others to a lot of narrow minded folk around here but not in any confrontational way. I do not speak of tolerating about CD's but everyone, that would be considered a minority in this society. I am not sure if I have had an impact on anyone, The backlash I get from others isnt very pleasant. A lot of hate is out there in the world. Hearing things like faggot, the "N" word lover, etc. Enough to maintain a low profile so to speak. I wish I could be more assertive in my manner, but do not wish to proke anything that could escalate into something worse than the exchange of some loud conversations. I have met quite a few people that are accepting of others, but as we all might know, some times that can be deceiving as well.

[Sierra Evon]

I live in large Apt. complex and all my nieghbors around me regularly see me in femme , girly wear, they think nothing of it most ppl know me as such...
However I fear that one day soon I may have to do some explaining to my 12 yrs. old boy ........he really has'nt seen me going all out , pulling out all the stops , as I dress......

[Phoebe Reece]

Besides the open and honest interaction I have with people when I am out dressed enfemme, I am involved in giving presentations on crossdressing to classes at a local university. The university classes are the most satisfying and perhaps most productive outreach. The students have always been very curious and open to learning about the subject without being judgemental. There are usually more than 100 students in each class, so the message gets accross to a lot of people at one time. And yes, I plan to continue doing it.

[melissaK]

Way to go Phoebe!! And, thanks.

[Glenda58]

Start a movement to educate the people then we can go in Peace.

[ashleyinwpb]

A website that I found sells t-shirts that are white and manly that I wear all the time with my girlfriend who is understanding and out and about to dinner...I brag about it all the time on this website but its really the fact that I'm tired of being in the closet and that I'm not into dressing fully I like to mixx my clothes but I like to be able to wear a t-shirt that I know and you knwo what it means.... the website is www.tgtees.com

[Maria2004]

the message gets accross to a lot of people at one time. And yes, I plan to continue doing it.

You go girl!

[MarinaTwelve200]

A lot of the fear and lothing of CDers comes from the vilest of ignorance. Most folks on the street think we are GAY---and they HATE Gays---because "everybody knows" "Gays are child molesters"---So we must be too, because we cross dress.

Hey, that is just how a lot of people think--I've seen it. When I hear such crap, I dont know whether to Laugh at their ignorance or kick them in the butt. As I dont go out dressed, such remarks have not been directed at me, but I have heard some people I must assiciate with make such comments when the subject of gays of Cding comes up, or they learn of someone who IS gay or a CD. Just one sad fact in an ignorant world.

[~Dee~]

Hi Jess.


yes, i tell people and try to inform them the best i can.

obviously. my family are learning a lot from my transition and then they seem to be spreading the word too ..
but i also try to educate those around me.. friends .. customers .. whoever ..

i dont see a problem with it ..
i do get a lot of people who start off conversations with "i dont mean to pry.." or "if this is too personal, you dont have to answer it but ... "

even Kittys work mates know who i am and she goes about educating them if they are willing to learn . .

ive found that in most cases -understanding leads to acceptance.

[Melanie R]

I just wanted to ask if anybody, either a CDR or their SO, have made any steps towards educating the people around them, ---- be it family, friends, neighbours, work colleagues or the public in general ---------- and no I don't just mean coming out to your SO if you are a CDR. If any of you have what was the responses you got and would you do it again

Jess

Over the past 25 years my wife and I have done 3 television interviews and documentaries on the topic of transgendered persons and many radio and newspaper interviews. Each year we do talks with professional groups, students and churches. Her books on the topic have been read by thousands. Most of the effort has produced positive results but there is so much more to do. We are hoping to turn over this crusade to many of you as after 25 years we need to rest.

Melanie

[Maria2004]

We are hoping to turn over this crusade to many of you as after 25 years we need to rest.

Melanie

I'm certainly "Ready", more then "Willing", and trying to learn how to be "Able" to do just that. Thank you Melanie.

Love

Maria