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Thread: Pronoun Trouble

  1. #26
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    http://www.cafepress.com/buy/transge...t_/fpt_/c_360/ one for post op girls lol.......god i love this site lol

  2. #27
    2ndCabinBoy/1stSkirtBoy Evert's Avatar
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    I love some of those designs Kieron!

    *is searching... Do they deliver to Holland?*

    *EDIT* http://www.cafepress.com/buy/transge...t_/pg_/c_/fpt_

  3. #28
    Gold Member Julie York's Avatar
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    I appreciate your frustration. But surely the answer is in the question.


    Why would anyone call you Miss or Ma'am? Really why would they? Why would ANYONE assume you are female and address you as such?


    They're just humans. They see, they react.


    They are not seeing you as you wish to be seen. It takes time. Your perception of yourself may be 100% complete but it's an optical illusion that needs to be completed before people see what you can see.

    If I saw a femmy guy and said 'He' or whatever and he said "She" correcting me........I'd back up a bit....and the apology would come when I thought I was wrong and it WAS a female and I'd made a mistake. "Oh..erm sorry..." Otherwise I'd go..."Erm..o.k." and move on swiftly.

    That's not the answer you want , I know, but it's probably the most truthful one you'll get.

    Good luck.

  4. #29
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    http://www.cafepress.com/buy/transge...t_/fpt_/c_360/ one to wear to the shops that call you ma'am lol

  5. #30
    2ndCabinBoy/1stSkirtBoy Evert's Avatar
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  6. #31
    Member JulieCDorlando's Avatar
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    Hello,
    If the Capt is waving that cutlass around in one hand, and holding a keg of rum in the other and cussing and swearin........ I'd call the Capt anything HE wants me to call him.

  7. #32
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    t-shirts

    Some of those t-shirts are great, thanks Kieron.

    "Princess" Michelle
    "Princess" was on a shirt given to me by a cd who barely knew me. I purged it, but kept the nickname to remind me of the kindess.

  8. #33
    Being There Dasein9's Avatar
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    I just give them a little TMI, but not everything.

    Lately, I've just been saying, "I didn't get enough testosterone during puberty." (Well, it's true!)

    Then, they have an explanation, and leave me the hell alone.

  9. #34
    `°º¤ø GiGi's Gurl ø¤º°` SexxxyBrianna's Avatar
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    Red face

    Quote Originally Posted by bi_weird View Post
    Just to play devil's advocate here. I've meet some people before where I haven't been sure guy or girl, (this was before I had any idea what trans was) and I felt terribly nervous that I'd make them mad. Some people don't MEAN to be presenting as the opposite sex, they just, well, look it. Don't want to insult them. Also seems very rude to not be sure. So a lot of casual acquantences who get your pronoun wrong are probably trying to be as polite as they can, they just don't know better.
    I apologize Lex, I do not know your situation. I was thinking along the lines of bi weird. I would not want to offend anyone. If you had a shadow working and such, I would address you as sir, Mr., dude, etc. I do how ever know enough about you now to know that you have not posted a pic, so I guess I will never know what you look like (hint, hint)
    [SIZE="5"]Brianna[/SIZE]

    [SIZE="1"]"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music he hears, however measured or far away."- Henry David Thoreau[/SIZE]

    [SIZE="1"]"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter."- Dr. Seuss[/SIZE]

    SexxxyBrianna@yahoo.com

  10. #35
    Swishy Pirate CaptLex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SexxxyBrianna View Post
    I do how ever know enough about you now to know that you have not posted a pic, so I guess I will never know what you look like (hint, hint)
    And now you know why . . .

    Apology accepted, Brianna.
    But why is the rum gone?! - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl[/SIZE]

    Why is the rum always gone? - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest[/SIZE]

    Why is all but the rum gone? No, the rum's gone too . . .
    - [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: At World End[/SIZE]

    [SIZE="3"]Lex on the Beach[/SIZE]. . . [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  11. #36
    Swishy Pirate CaptLex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Julie York View Post
    They are not seeing you as you wish to be seen. It takes time. Your perception of yourself may be 100% complete but it's an optical illusion that needs to be completed before people see what you can see. . . . That's not the answer you want , I know, but it's probably the most truthful one you'll get.
    Lie to me, Julie! Actually, I appreciate your honesty, and I know you're right, but it is frustrating and even more painful than those spiked heels.
    But why is the rum gone?! - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl[/SIZE]

    Why is the rum always gone? - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest[/SIZE]

    Why is all but the rum gone? No, the rum's gone too . . .
    - [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: At World End[/SIZE]

    [SIZE="3"]Lex on the Beach[/SIZE]. . . [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  12. #37
    Silver Member kerrianna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptLex View Post
    Yesterday in our cafeteria someone called me "she" and when I corrected him ("it's 'he' "), he just stared at me. And at the local drug store chain, the conversation went something like this:

    Clerk: "Here you go, miss."
    Me: "I'm not a miss."
    Clerk: (staring) "No? What are you, then?"
    Me: "I'm a 'he' ."
    Clerk: (more staring) "Okay, here you go."

    No apology, no correction.
    .
    Bad clerk!
    I can't believe some of the people who are allowed to work with the public. I've done lots of retail - this is how it SHOULD have gone (and if I was the boss and heard that exchange this is what bad clerk would have been told in no uncertain terms) :

    Clerk: "Here you go, miss."
    Me: "I'm not a miss."
    Clerk: "Oh, I'm sorry, sir. Here you go. Sorry about that."

    "No, what are you then?" begs the reply, "I'm an ex-customer of this store!"

    For the clerk:


    For you:
    "I dwell in possibility."

    "Say what you want and be who you are, because those who matter don't mind, and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

    "I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."
    George Bernard Shaw

  13. #38
    Swishy Pirate CaptLex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kerrianna View Post
    For you:
    Thanks, Kerrianna . . . just for that you can paint my toenails anytime you want (but only you).
    But why is the rum gone?! - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl[/SIZE]

    Why is the rum always gone? - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest[/SIZE]

    Why is all but the rum gone? No, the rum's gone too . . .
    - [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: At World End[/SIZE]

    [SIZE="3"]Lex on the Beach[/SIZE]. . . [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  14. #39
    Gold Member dancinginthedark's Avatar
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    We go out to eat regularly at a local restaurant. One of the staff had me baffled. Was this person a male or a female? I could not for the life of me decide which it was and to ask the person upfront...well it seemed extremely rude. "How would you feel if someone asked if you were a boy or a girl", I asked myself. I thought I would be hurt or insulted. I would have felt my gender should have been obvious to everyone. So it was, "hey kiddo" when addressing this person. (much younger person so thought I could pull that one off with minimal hurt or insult)
    I found out the correct gender by doing what should have been obvious. I introduced myself and asked for a name. Thankfully it was not one of those names that could go either way. Whew!! My backup plan was to play extremely dense and ask what Chris or Pat (for examples) was short for. I would rather be seen as a bit slow than cruel or hurtful.
    The moral of the story, please know that not everyone means to insult or hurt someone else when using the wrong pro-noun. Hey maybe they need some new glasses or the lighting is poor. Or they may not be sure and make a guess. And dang if they didn't guess wrongly.
    I do believe the person owed you an apology at the very least. So on behalf of the ignore masses let me say it, "We're sorry." OTOH perhaps their momma didn't teach them any manners? Or they just didn't get their bottoms spanked enough as a kid? After five kids I'm an old hand at it, let me at em!
    Next time someone addresses you with the wrong pronoun respond in kind. Some guy addresses you as miss? Then you reply and address him as miss. Sometimes a return volley is effective.
    Hang in there capt. Soon there will be absolutely no way anyone will see you as anything other than what you are ~ male. Bank on it.

    dancin

  15. #40
    Swishy Pirate CaptLex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dancinginthedark GG View Post
    The moral of the story, please know that not everyone means to insult or hurt someone else when using the wrong pro-noun.
    I do realize that, and that's why I've been biting my tongue for many months. I just can't do that anymore (and my therapist advised me to let it out). I don't expect people to get it right away, but I'm just fed up and frustrated with those that won't even try to get it right after repeatedly correcting them.

    Quote Originally Posted by dancinginthedark GG View Post
    Some guy addresses you as miss? Then you reply and address him as miss. Sometimes a return volley is effective.
    You must be reading my mind . . . that's exactly what I'm planning to do next.

    Quote Originally Posted by dancinginthedark GG View Post
    Hang in there capt. Soon there will be absolutely no way anyone will see you as anything other than what you are ~ male. Bank on it.

    dancin
    Thanks, Dancin . . . meanwhile I'll send them to you, Bi and Evert for their spankings.
    But why is the rum gone?! - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl[/SIZE]

    Why is the rum always gone? - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest[/SIZE]

    Why is all but the rum gone? No, the rum's gone too . . .
    - [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: At World End[/SIZE]

    [SIZE="3"]Lex on the Beach[/SIZE]. . . [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  16. #41
    Silver Member Lisa Golightly's Avatar
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    A few years ago I met this girl I really liked... I did the whole boy thing... suit, tie, Marlboro 100's and in the middle of the meal the waiter called me Miss... Doh, doh, doh, doh, doh!!! I know exactly how you feel
    Der Transsexuellaußenseiter

    The lovers have flown...

    [SIZE="3"]VENI VIDI VICI[/SIZE]

  17. #42
    Swishy Pirate CaptLex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lisa Golightly View Post
    A few years ago I met this girl I really liked... I did the whole boy thing... suit, tie, Marlboro 100's and in the middle of the meal the waiter called me Miss... Doh, doh, doh, doh, doh!!! I know exactly how you feel
    Thanks for sympathizing (or is it empathizing?), Lisa. Is that why you opened the Charm School?
    But why is the rum gone?! - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl[/SIZE]

    Why is the rum always gone? - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest[/SIZE]

    Why is all but the rum gone? No, the rum's gone too . . .
    - [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: At World End[/SIZE]

    [SIZE="3"]Lex on the Beach[/SIZE]. . . [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  18. #43
    Silver Member Lisa Golightly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptLex View Post
    Thanks for sympathizing (or is it empathizing?), Lisa. Is that why you opened the Charm School?
    No, I'm just arsey
    Der Transsexuellaußenseiter

    The lovers have flown...

    [SIZE="3"]VENI VIDI VICI[/SIZE]

  19. #44
    Silver Member kerrianna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptLex View Post
    Thanks, Kerrianna . . . just for that you can paint my toenails anytime you want (but only you).
    Oooh, YW...and thank you Capt. I can paint them black too if you want. Oh, are they already black? Hmmm...maybe pirates should wear shoes.

    BTW Capt...nice avatar...very handsome....I think I'm going to swoon now...:blushing:
    "I dwell in possibility."

    "Say what you want and be who you are, because those who matter don't mind, and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

    "I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."
    George Bernard Shaw

  20. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by kerrianna View Post

    BTW Capt...nice avatar...very handsome....I think I'm going to swoon now...:blushing:
    ok ok hold everything!! when did he post that!!! how did i miss it, ive been online ALL day!!

    wow damn Capt you are one good looking guy!! what the heck are you worrying about!!! damn and i dont fancy men (could i be changing??)

    [SIZE=3]EVERYONE CAPT'S GOT AN AVATAR UP!!!!!!!! i think we need a capt 'coming out' party[/SIZE]

    [SIZE=1]hes gonna kill me lol!![/SIZE]
    Last edited by Kieron Andrew; 12-28-2006 at 06:17 PM.

  21. #46
    Gold Member dancinginthedark's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CaptLex View Post
    [...] I'm just fed up and frustrated with those that won't even try to get it right after repeatedly correcting them.
    I'm sorry. I was not reading that correctly when I read it the first time through. I can see and completely agree with you and your therapist. Let it out. Hell bitch slap someone. hmmm can a guy bitch slap someone? Well you get my point. I'm not saying be overly aggressive but assertive, hell yes. Make your point clear and strong Lex. Some folks can be persistently dumber than a lump of coal and it's up to us to make em into diamonds. And we all know how diamonds are made right? Lots and lots of pressure. Bring it Capt

    Hey is that a pic of you in the new suit you talked about recently? Is that a Mickey tie? Looking good. You too Kieron. That's a new avatar for you too isn't it? My, my, my. Look at all the man candy and me on a darn diet. lol
    Dancin

    Quote Originally Posted by CaptLex View Post
    Thanks, Dancin . . . meanwhile I'll send them to you, Bi and Evert for their spankings.
    Oh boys ...come ere' got something for ya.
    Last edited by dancinginthedark; 12-28-2006 at 06:33 PM.

  22. #47
    Love being a girly girl! Country girl's Avatar
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    Thumbs up My 2 cents

    Hi Capt, I just want to say that as a person who works in the public 6 days a week, I'm a cashier at a restaurant, sometimes I will say ma'am to a genetic male, and sometimes I will say sir to a genetic female. In my defense, it is simply that I am overly tired or extremely busy, ie; 23 women followed by a guy and I accidently say ma'am. However, I ALWAYS correct myself and apologize. The thing is we live in a day and age where some people don't care if they make a mistake or are just plain rude. I'm not making excuses for anyone but sometimes you have to give the benifit of doubt, or just ignore the insolent behaviors. If someone insists on continueing to call you ma'am, or they question you after you have corrected them [in a nice and respectful manner] then take it up a level and ask to speak to the manager. No one has a right to be openly rude and disrespectful esspecially in a service oriented business. ie; sales clerk, cashier, bank teller, etc. I hope this helps in some small way. Take care and good luck.

    CG gg
    [SIZE=4]Country Girl GG [/SIZE]

    [SIZE=3]The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."[/SIZE]
    [SIZE=3][/SIZE]
    [SIZE=4]When you find something good... Grab it with both hands and do all you can do to keep it![/SIZE]

  23. #48
    Silver Member kerrianna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dancinginthedark GG View Post
    Hey is that a pic of you in the new suit you talked about recently? Is that a Mickey tie? Looking good. You too Kieron. That's a new avatar for you too isn't it? My, my, my. Look at all the man candy and me on a darn diet. lol
    Dancin
    I'm not on a diet :blushing:
    Can't wait for the next party. I'd better start working on my make-up.

    Yeah, I love your new pics Kieron. Wow. You and the Captain side by side would be like good-looking brothers. I don't know which one I would pick first.

    I think I'll let you fight over me

    (better make sure I'm worth fighting over first...got a ways to go with the make-up )
    "I dwell in possibility."

    "Say what you want and be who you are, because those who matter don't mind, and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

    "I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."
    George Bernard Shaw

  24. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by dancinginthedark GG View Post
    That's a new avatar for you too isn't it?
    yup I posted it today

  25. #50
    Swishy Pirate CaptLex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kieron Andrew View Post
    ok ok hold everything!! when did he post that!!! how did i miss it, ive been online ALL day!!

    wow damn Capt you are one good looking guy!! what the heck are you worrying about!!! damn and i dont fancy men (could i be changing??)

    [SIZE=3]EVERYONE CAPT'S GOT AN AVATAR UP!!!!!!!! i think we need a capt 'coming out' party[/SIZE]

    [SIZE=1]hes gonna kill me lol!![/SIZE]
    LOL! I snuck that one past you and then ran off before you could see it.

    Hey, a party sounds good - don't worry, I won't kill you, especially since I need you to help entertain the ladies.
    But why is the rum gone?! - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl[/SIZE]

    Why is the rum always gone? - Capt. Jack Sparrow [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest[/SIZE]

    Why is all but the rum gone? No, the rum's gone too . . .
    - [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: At World End[/SIZE]

    [SIZE="3"]Lex on the Beach[/SIZE]. . . [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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