My Thoughts

[Sarah38b]

I have some thoughts about some of the various things being talked about here as of late.

1. I don't think CDing is worth losing a spouse/partner/family over. The shock of a loved one finding out could cause some very serious consequences for all involved. Sometimes you need to do whats best for your family ahead of your own needs. At least that's how I think a respsonsible parent should act.

2. I just don't get why many of you need permission from your partner to dress or not to dress, where to dress or where not to dress. After all, we're all grown up adults here. I think your all capable of making your own decision and why some seek permission, I don't know.

3. Again I have been questioning myself again why I am here. I have to be honest with you and myself. I just don't think I am getting anything of value to me from this forum.

4. I'm just a casual dresser that likes a bra and thats about it. I think I may have more a fetish than an actual desire to crossdress fully. If I didn't have breasts, I am sure I wouldn't be here. That's why I started experimenting with bra's. I have no desire to live as a woman or become a woman as many of you here do. And this forum strongly leans towards that and that isn't where I'm at. So naturally I'm not getting a lot from here. I do think it's kinda fun to dress up...why I like it? I don't know. Maybe it is for sexual gratification or perhaps an unknown or pshycological reason. I don't really know.

Sarah

[Tristen Cox]

Sarah I appreciate your honesty. There are many levels of wearing clothes and crossdressing. The main purpose of being here is to meet others freely and share things about ourselves that we don't have the flexability to talk about with someone on the outside. If you gain more than that and make a friend or two along the way that's a bonus. I really did not know what I was doing here myself when I first visited this site. Now after six months..I understand and still come here to be with like minds, for me that's the reason. We have a strong bond that has proven itself to hold us together through many good and bad times. I hope you will stay to experience that for yourself. *big hugs*


Love
Tristen

[Holly]

I have some thoughts about some of the various things being talked about here as of late.

1. I don't think CDing is worth losing a spouse/partner/family over. The shock of a loved one finding out could cause some very serious consequences for all involved. Sometimes you need to do whats best for your family ahead of your own needs. At least that's how I think a respsonsible parent should act.

2. I just don't get why many of you need permission from your partner to dress or not to dress, where to dress or where not to dress. After all, we're all grown up adults here. I think your all capable of making your own decision and why some seek permission, I don't know.

3. Again I have been questioning myself again why I am here. I have to be honest with you and myself. I just don't think I am getting anything of value to me from this forum.

4. I'm just a casual dresser that likes a bra and thats about it. I think I may have more a fetish than an actual desire to crossdress fully. If I didn't have breasts, I am sure I wouldn't be here. That's why I started experimenting with bra's. I have no desire to live as a woman or become a woman as many of you here do. And this forum strongly leans towards that and that isn't where I'm at. So naturally I'm not getting a lot from here. I do think it's kinda fun to dress up...why I like it? I don't know. Maybe it is for sexual gratification or perhaps an unknown or pshycological reason. I don't really know.

Sarah

Please don't be so quick to write us off. The girls here run the spectrum from GRS/SRS to those who only desire to experience limited exposure to certain articles or women's clothing. There is no one answer here, Sarah. All of us are on our on journeys with our own destinations. Where I wind up (and I honestly can't tell you where that will be) will not be your ultimate placement. I hope with all my heart that you will find the support here worthwhile. The things we go through are sometimes confusing and frustrating. Speaking only for myself, no one here as ever told me that path I must take, only to keep pursuing my own happiness. I can only offer you the same thing.

[ChristineRenee]

I second what tristen said. This is a pretty diverse group that runs the gamut of the CD/TG/TS spectrum. Still, it is a safe haven where we all can gather as sisters and enjoy just being who we are. Please don't write us off. There is an awful lot of love, caring and support in this forum that you are not going to find anywhere else. I hope you will look at the bigger picture in all of this and will continue on here being a member of our family.


Love,
Christine Renee

[crispy]

Sarah, I have often felt very much the same. I sometimes feel like a fraud just for being here.

For me, yes, it's a fetish. I love lycra undies and I'm playing with growing my breasts. I don't want to go out in the street and pass as a lady. There are many of us on this forum who are in a similar situation.

I feel so very much at home here. Thanks to this forum, I no longer feel repulsed by what I do. I have accepted what I am, and I have great peace of mind as a result.

I don't have a choice about giving up, even though CDing could affect the family. It is too compulsive, much more than smoking. (I gave that up easily after 30years heavy use).

I try to take care that my family doesn't find out (no reason why they should). My wife knows and won't tolerate it, or any evidence of it.

take care.

[Helana]

I have some thoughts about some of the various things being talked about here as of late.

1. I don't think CDing is worth losing a spouse/partner/family over. The shock of a loved one finding out could cause some very serious consequences for all involved. Sometimes you need to do whats best for your family ahead of your own needs. At least that's how I think a respsonsible parent should act.

It really has to be dealt with on a case to case basis. While I broadly agree with you, if CDing is a central part of your character and you are miserable since you are unable to connect with your other half then that is not a healthy relationship. Also if your SO really loves you but disapproves then there is no reason why this has to lead to a break-up. Many wives agree to allow their partners to crossdress in private so long as they dont see it themselves. All relationships are give and take, and if your SO is so intolerent that they do not want to find a way to accommodate the whole you, then maybe the relationship was wrong from the start?

2. I just don't get why many of you need permission from your partner to dress or not to dress, where to dress or where not to dress. After all, we're all grown up adults here. I think your all capable of making your own decision and why some seek permission, I don't know.

Because seeking permission sends the signal that she has a choice, that she can control the situation which is reassuring. Its all part of normal relationship politics.

3. Again I have been questioning myself again why I am here. I have to be honest with you and myself. I just don't think I am getting anything of value to me from this forum.

True many of the posts may not interest you but you are still part of the CD spectrum and being here you can see for yourself the diverse range of attitudes and lifestyles and you can then get a better picture where you fit in.

4. I'm just a casual dresser that likes a bra and thats about it. I think I may have more a fetish than an actual desire to crossdress fully. If I didn't have breasts, I am sure I wouldn't be here. That's why I started experimenting with bra's. I have no desire to live as a woman or become a woman as many of you here do. And this forum strongly leans towards that and that isn't where I'm at. So naturally I'm not getting a lot from here. I do think it's kinda fun to dress up...why I like it? I don't know. Maybe it is for sexual gratification or perhaps an unknown or pshycological reason. I don't really know.

Sarah

As a casual CDer who leans more to fetish desires, you really don't need any advice from us except to say that you should never feel guilty or ashamed and you are not alone - far from it CDing is much more common than many realized. Most of us here started off where you are now - cherishing wearing a bra and thats all we had to use during our teenage years. So we have been where you are now but many of us have progressed beyond that and who knows, maybe you may too.

Whatever happens, this is a friendly and supportive group and you are always welcome here. Just treat us like friends and laugh at our adventures.

[Wendy me]

i think that for each one out there it is diffrent to each one at diffrent times in our life
when i was younger i tryed to put this part of me aside and not so well.............
now i just am realy comming to terms with it.......our lives change and the things that are part of it change along with it..........some times you can controll it and some times it controlls you.......................

[Tamara Croft]

Sarah, you say that you aren't getting anything of value from this forum. I have to disagree. Not so long ago you were going to leave us and then decided against it. Why? because you have made friends here, people that you can relate to. There are so many different types of crossdressers... those that do it for a bit of fun, those that feel trapped in a mans body, those that want to become a woman. But each and everyone one of those crossdressers all have something in common. They are not accepted by society. This forum freed them in a way, a place where they can come and share their life, whether it be a small part of it or the whole thing. It doesn't matter how little you crossdress, it's about making friends here and having someone you can just rant away too when you feel a little lost.

This forum is about friendship, not just about crossdressing

Tamara x

[Julie York]

I agree. We're all just damned weird but in the same corner. And it's nice to have someone in your corner no matter what.


And think about it...Where in the world can you ask a simple question like, "How do I measure my bra size...or....Where do you buy your bras from?"


(Evening Ted.
Evening Phil.
Usual? (Pours a pint)
Yes thanks...Now then Ted.
Yes Phil.
Where do you buy your bras from?)

[racheal]

Tristen could not have said it better - we are here for fellowship (pardon the punn), but where we all share the same ideas and our thoughts are the same and we are curious to find out answers, this is why, at least for me, I am here. This is a great source for answers and you don't have to worry about what you ask. Being honest is the best way to obtain results form people who want to help and be helped.

We are all on family of sisters. It's a comfortable place to be I think. As long as you look inside your own heart and mind, you will see yourself in a different light. Once you have read more and more threads you will find that we are all not alike, but we do share a common goal - we wear women's clothing and we love to do it every day. Whether it's just a bra, right to full femme, we are all great people and we are brave enough to join a great forum such as this and get to know more people who share the same thoughts as we do. I hope that this comforts you some more...

[Maddie Knight]

Sarah, you must do what feels right for you. I agree cd'ing is not worth losing loved ones over.
If leaving the forum is what you want we can't stop you, but you will always be welcome back anytime.
I hope you make the right choice and that things work out good for you in the future ( whatever you decide ) .

Love
Maddie

[Wendy me]

we are all weird???????????see the people that say thay aer normal????????????

[DonnaT]

I have some thoughts about some of the various things being talked about here as of late.

1. I don't think CDing is worth losing a spouse/partner/family over. The shock of a loved one finding out could cause some very serious consequences for all involved. Sometimes you need to do whats best for your family ahead of your own needs. At least that's how I think a respsonsible parent should act.

2. I just don't get why many of you need permission from your partner to dress or not to dress, where to dress or where not to dress. After all, we're all grown up adults here. I think your all capable of making your own decision and why some seek permission, I don't know.

Sarah, aren't 1 and 2 contradictory? In a way?

Most CD's, and I do mean most, cannot quit CDing, no matter what level (occasional ~ fulltime) they are at. So it is either tell the wife or hide it.

Some can hide it, no problem. Others feel guilty about hiding it. Some couldn't hide a needle in a haystack

So, if you can't quit, you have to ask yourself, Do I have to tell my wife?

OK, so now the wife knows. Is she happy, sad, angry, frightened? She could have all kinds of feelings.

But she can accept it (not the same as understanding it), if . . .

1. She never sees it or hears about it.

2. You only wear panties.

3. You only wear a skirt, but no lingerie.

4. You keep it in the house.

Now, do you accept her limitations, or do you do what you want since you are an adult and risk losing her?

Not really that hard for me to decide, because I don't want to lose her. So I accept the limitations.

There are all kinds of compromises one makes with their spouse. Changes can come about through conversation. So the limitations may have been originally set, but as time goes on, you may have the urge to go further.

Did you know this at the time you accepted her limitations? Most probably not. So you sit down and discuss it some more. Thus the limitations could change with time and understanding. But most of all with love and respect.