THERE EMBARASSED? You are who you are and THERE EMBARASSED!!! Me personally would tell them to build a bridge and get over them selves. If your daughter had one eye and purple hair would YOU be embarassed? OH that just drives me nuts!!! Sweety you got to be who you are. OH, OH, OH, I just can't think of anything else to shout. Love ya honey and hope to read more of ya soon.
Huggs, Shelly.
Blessed are the cracked, They let the light in.
Even though I don't participate around here as often as I should or would like to, I hate to see any of us go.And when we do go, what is truley gone?The clothes, the make-up, the wig...sure it's all gone. Purged once again. But what of the feelings? They cannot be purged. They only get stuffed down in to denial once again.
Do i think any of us can flat out never dress again. Sure, if we find the strong enough will to do so. Much like one who needs to stay away from hard drugs, or booze.But this isn't that. These are our feelings, our inclinations, our identities.
So to Holly and to all of us who have to be faced with these uncomfortable confrontations with our families...pose to them an apology, "I'm sorry my feelings embarass you."
As you can see, I've been where you are before, and being younger I expect to be there again.
dann
"It's a great big white world, if we are drained of our colors."
"Think for yourself. Question authority"
I know that family comes first
And you have to do what you have to
But just remember that you have touched a lot
Of hearts here myself included
So take care me friend until we meet again
Barb
I just don't have fun -- I make the fun
Life's too short........Enjoy every day
hey Holly .... sorry abought "stalking". you yesterday lol.... we are here and mom we care ....... better day's are comming......,
Last edited by Wendy me; 01-14-2007 at 09:32 AM. Reason: thanks Julie Y............
I believe Holly will contact us when and if she sees fit to do so. She needs to have time to process this for sure. On my last purge(which was a big one) I went into deep depression. It took me a while to get out of that. I'm just hoping she is okay and wish her well and that she knows all her friends here love her and miss her.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
may i suggest literally burying her for a bit.. Many of us have purged and repurchased so many times. perhaps a storage locker?
Just needed to say
[SIZE=4]WE MISS YOU HOLL[/SIZE][SIZE=4]Y[/SIZE]
In an ideal world where rational thinking prevails yup. We would all do that.Originally Posted by sammantha_flowers
Trouble is when we are (were) in a mind to purge, logic goes out the window.
My last purge was 1997
tossed everything I owned into a dumpster. I have many times had deep regrets.
But at the moment of the purge, I felt I had to do it and put away all this dressing like a woman for ever!
You all must know the feeling.
Stressing Holly to return or rethink anything now will not help her.
Yes it is expensive to restock, but not impossible.
After all it is only clothes and they make them every day.
They need to be repalced anyway.
The human has always got to take precedence over the 'stuff'.
It is only 'stuff' and stuff can berepalced.
People cannot. Forgive me for saying the obvious.
We can be assured that Holly will return eventually.
When she does return, we will be ready and welcome her with open arms.
Like I am doing in my avatar.
Patiently and knowing where her friends are.
Jestina.
Last edited by Jestina; 01-14-2007 at 03:09 PM.
Cruisin' on a sardine boat
Loaded with crazy people
I am very sorry to hear this very bad news, My prayes and thoughts are with you at this you hour of need, I don't have any worods to express how bad I feel for you, but like so many of our other sisters, I have to agree that you should not dispose of all of Holly's things, as of yet, it can be very expensive to start back again when you haave nothing. with all of my regrets, Loves Tessa
Live for the moment. Love is forever.
Tessa
tessa1wire@yahoo.com
http://www.myspace.com/tessa_wire
(http://360.yahoo.com/tessa1wire)
Farewell, and good luck to whatever you put your mind to do. I did not know you well, but I know that you have a good heart, mind and soul from reading your posts.
It is a common belief here that it is impossible to quit cross-dressing. When the situation presents itself and you are forced to quit cross-dressing, rather than quitting because cross-dressing is not important to you anymore, it has to be harder. (Ya, I know….what is he/she saying? Right!) Either way it can be done and is being done…if you do not believe this…look at the membership of this site…..ever wonder where all of those CDer’s went?
Look at this as not a death of “Holly” your cross-dressing part, but as a rebirth of your new self. It is a time for new beginnings. Put all of your new found time and effort into helping your family, friends and community to be more tolerant of others, such as the friends that you will always have here.
God Bless and keep you!
our sister Holly is going through some tough times .... it's times like this we need to lean on our sisters here for souport.....
still sending good thoughts...........
Good thoughts from me here and these as well....
Holly,
You are in my thoughts and prayers. Remember it is always darkest before the dawn. Hope to see you here again.
Cissy
Holly,
Been there, almost done that. I for one am sure gonna miss you sis. I'm still here if you feel the need to release your feelings to someone who understands.
Emily Ann
OMG, that's terrible news. Holly, my heart goes out to you.
I've only been here a short time but have learned a lot from your posts. The wisdom and love that is Holly will continue on here.
The situation you're in is my worst nightmare and I can understand your decision. Good luck, Holly...
Holly
I know its been said before. but [SIZE="4"]Don't Purge[/SIZE]
Just send them away to a trusted friend. We'll be here for you
Sarah R.
Every time I walk down the street, I see every eye on me.
Every time they look at me, I wonder, who do they see?
Perfection in disguise,with regimes and alibis.
The girl in the mirror , isn't the same as the girl in my heart
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Holly
You will be missed my all of us here.
I love being a girl
hey Holly we are still thinking of you.........
Can we say Holly just needs to find alternative forms of expression for the time being? So sorry you're feeling torn & rejected. I certainly hope an acceptable compromise can be reached in due time.
Holly,
I've been through a forced purge, two years ago. During the argument that ensued, I even agreed with the need for it. SO I purged big time. Oh, how I fought to "right my ship" and be the "man" I was expected to be. I became despondent and lost my ability to work. Soon it became obvious that this was part of me that could not be separated without severe damage and it threatened to affect more than just an embarrassment for the family. We tried counseling which didn't work but we managed to compromise and I was allowed a token amount of femme things. This allowed me to begin recovering. It was my reaction to the forced purge that convinced my family that my CD was far more than just an embarrassment. Things are better now. I hope so for you in time as well.
A work in progress
This won't work.
I wish there were more studies on the subject. But, I feel that attempting to fully repress the desire to crossdress leads to depression, abuse (of one kind or another), and a whole host of other potential problems. The trick isn't to repress it; the trick is to successfully integrate it into our lives in ways that do not cause harm either to ourselves or our loved ones.
This 'trick' is a major balancing act. Few people, I think, get it right. Some are in hiding, some attempt repression, some do not integrate with others, some cause harm (even if inadvertently) to family and friends...etc...etc... Repression and purging just don't work. It's part of the harmful side of things.
I sit here very fearful of what is about to happen to Holly. The loss of the clothes due to purging is a minor footnote compared to the crises ahead for Holly. She'll revert, re-dress, and either go majorly underground in an attempt not to confront her family, or cause major upheaval in her family if she's more open about it.
I also sit here very sad for the society that we live in that remains so rejective of who and what we are. We are humans to0. Mounting evidence shows that being transgendered is not a choice we make. It's something we are born with. How much pain and suffering must we all endure before we are treated as equals? How many lives have to be negatively affected because we, the small minority, are driven to crossdress?
When does it stop? When do people like Holly have a home they can go to and find acceptance for what they are just the same as a person who is left handed or right handed? It is no more wrong to be a crossdresser than it is to be left handed. Yet, society finds it so easy to cast a negative eye upon that which is noticeably different. "My God! He's a man in HEELS AND SKIRT?!?!?!?! What a freakin' loser! What a weirdo!"
Yesterday was Martin Luther King Day. The day before he died, he gave a speech in which he noted that too many people ask first what will become of themselves if they stand up and help those who are oppressed when the first question should be what will happen to the oppressed if we choose to do nothing.
Holly, I will pray for you...not for you to succeed in repressing this. You can't. That would be asking for a snowball in hell to appear, or a pig to sprout wings. I will pray for you to figure out how to successfully integrate all of you into the life you want.
-BB
Last edited by JulieC; 01-16-2007 at 03:17 PM. Reason: copyedit
Holly so sorry to hear of your problems at home. I do hope that your giving up something that is so much a part of you that your wife and daughter can understand just how much you have done for them and they can do the same for you. I wish you well.
Holly there's lots of advice from everyone. You do what you think is the right thing to do. Can you send Holly back to the closet for a while? One thing I have to agree with the other gurls on is not to purge. I've done it twice and it's expensive. My wife is supportive but she has told me not to embarass her. That's my only limit.
Sorry you have to leave for now.
Margot
Holly
I'm so sorry. Stay strong. A comeback is always possible. Definitely try to store rather than dispose of your things. Keep your options open hun.
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