Tonight I am telling my wife that I am a transexual

[Kite]

Wish me luck

I have become increasingly depressed over my transexualism in last few weeks, and it has become so bad that I need to get help. I need gender therapy, and I need to find out what direction my life needs to go in. I am going through those times where you feel like you are on the verge of crying all of the time. I told her today that I am very sad and depressed about something, and that it is a quite embarassing and personal issue with myself. I told her that I need help, but I haven't told her for what. She is going to wait up for me tonight after I get off work so I can talk to her.

I have a long night of crying ahead I suppose.

[Vallari]

Honey I hope everything goes well for you. Help is critical. Just talking about things help's out a million, wheather it's with a counselor or gender therapist or family/friends. I hope that things go well for you both.

[SilkenPrincess]

Kite,
We will all be with you in spirit! We want you to be all the woman you can be! I hope it goes well for you and your wife is supportive.
Love,
SilkenPrincess

[ChristineRenee]

Good luck Kite. I hope that you are able to find the help that you seek and that things will work out for the best for you both.


Love,
Christine Renee

[Tristen Cox]

It may be the hardest thing you have to overcome, but in the end you will feel beyond words. I wish to you the best of luck on this tonight. We'll be here when you return, and please tell us how it goes ok?

Love always
Tristen

[msdaphnie]

I know how nervous you are dear and it is the hottest seat you'll ever sit in.
My wife understands and is very supportive of me. I have been fortunate. I can't imagine life without her. Since luck was on my side I am sending some of it to you.

[Danielle1960]

Good luck. I did a year ago and it was a hard time. After a year,,,, It still is a hard time. I currently avoid any serious conversation about it and she does seem to be melting a bit.

Danielle

[AnnaMaria]

I wish you the best of luck. I only hope that your wife is as accepting as mine is. If you need to talk to us you know we will be here for you. I am sure that most of us has been through the same thing at some point in our lives and even if we can't give any advice that will help in your situation we can at least listen and after all sometimes that helps more than anything.

huggs
anna

[Holly]

Kite,

I know that it's really scarey for you right now. Relax. More often than not, what we imagine in our minds far exceeds the reality of what happens. I hope with all my heart that this is the case for you. Just be honest and caring when you talk to her. Gauge how far you should go by her reactions. If she doesn't want to pursue it, back off. And we'll all be here to share your joy and shoulder your burdens.

[Kite]

Well, I did it. Like everyone said, it was probably the hardest thing I have had to do, unfortunately it is not over. My wife says that she feels sorry for me, and that she loves me, and wants me to be happy, and that she truly believes that this is a thing I cannot help. However, she is very sad, scared and hurt. We are still crying and talking, crying and talking. I have an appointment with a regular counselor next week, but I hopefully soon I can see a gender therapist. I don't have any idea how much visiting a gender therapist would cost, but hopefully it is somthing that I can get covered by insurance or I'll have to save up. Whatever I have to do.

She wants to help and support me but she is very hurt right now, and I feel like crap for making her feel so bad. She says that it is not my fault though, but you know.

[Tristen Cox]

Not your fault at all. You were doing your best to keep things going as good as possible. Now the point has come where it would have done more damage to continue hiding, so good for you for talking about this with her. From what I have heard I am not sure if you will get coverage for seeing a therapist, but even if you go once a month the initial visit may do wonders. Take those baby steps. Carefully and cautiously. We never know anything for certain, so go one day at a time. Remember to think of things as she is seeing them as well. Thank you for coming here for support. Best wishes.



Love
Tristen

[Danielle1960]

I'm sorry for the negative results. I too had the same if not worst response. My poor wife got physically ill when I told her. She threw things, use all kinds of 4 letter words, and finally cooled off (about 3 days later)

I went to see counselor and have been now for a year. I'm at a point that Danielle is part of me and I'm not letting that go. I'm very careful to not invite hurt onto my wife because I know time is on my side. On my counselors wall is a painting of a young lady (native american) looking at her reflection in a pool of water. The reflection is that of a man. Also I would review the Jung (pronounced Young) theory. You can get it on line.

These things although not one will be the magical answer will help as time moves forward. I'm at a point that if my marriage does break up because of this it won't be because I didn't try to save it, and I wouldn't show any anger toward my spouse if she eventually makes that decision. Right now we are on the right direction and she is actually melting her hard core resentment, so I hope that continues.

I'm hoping you have a more successful transition with your wife that will be equally satisfying to you both. For me it is important to know that my comittment 20 years ago to my wife (who I love) and our family is the most important thing. Even if dressing and going out doesn't occur for awhile nothing will take away from me who I am. I'm more happy since discovering Danielle than I ever have.

Love to you and yours through this hard time.
Danielle

[SilkenPrincess]

Kite,
We are all proud of you! I just wanted you to know that. As the other girls have said, go slow. Don't ever deny who you are, but try to avoid an "in your face" attitude as this will just drive a wedge between the two of you. I'll be thinking of you and your wife and hoping that a satisfying compromise can be reached. Please feel free to PM me if you'd like. Take care, girl!
Love,
SilkenPrincess

[DonnaT]

Kite, at least it is good she says she wants to help you and support you. As for the hurt, it will take time. She may want to see a councelor too, if she can't get a grip on it.

Just keep showing her you love her.

[Chrissycd]

You loved yourself enough to set yourself free by coming out. You loved your wife enough to take off your mask and reveal the gift of your true self to her.
I wish I'd have done the same before my denial turned into a mess that fueled the end of my marriage. By opening up to her, you very well may have SAVED your marriage, rather than ended it.
It's all in the way we perceive it, honey.
Chrissy
ps - This is my 200th post!!! Somebody congratulate me. Please, please, please, please?

[lonontop]

Well done, you know in your hart that you had to be honest with yourself and your wife. i too told my wife in nov last year and we are still working through it together a bit at a time. I think over time we will become girl friends but not partners. I am looking at going for SRS in 2 - 3 years. My wife knows what I must do and is supportive enough to be honest and see how sad I was. We both will one day find male parners and live our own lives with our 2 childred as centre ot our worlds. Be truthfull with yourself is the hardest thing to do, but once you are you know what path you must take. Take thing slowly and don't push your wife let her come to terms with this major change and be prepair to let go for your own sake. Feel free to PM me or if your wife would like to chat with mine let me know, all the best and keep smiling luv Lou

[donnie123abc1]

Be honest with yourself and your spouse. This is where "for better or worse" takes on a whole new dimension. Truth is not a curse , it can be a blessing that frees the soul and spirit. If you are really close to each other than revelations such as this come as no suprise. Being who we are is more about being true to ourselves and each other. You can't go wrong when you speak the truth....that is ofcourse....that we must be certain that we know what that truth really is!

[Virginia]

It appears that wives will take one of three different tracks once they find out: 1. they will compeletely accept it
2. They will completely reject it.
3. MOST will be on a roller coaster ride. One day they hate it then they accept it then they love it then they ignore it. Eventually the roller coaster will either leave the tracks and crash or they may stay on it or some (divorce) chose to just get off the ride!
Regardless, you are much better off for having told her, you will feel better about yourself and now you can get on with your life. Your wife may or may not let you help her deal with it , but you have taken a giant step in your "Magical Mystery Tour!"
Just remember, once a crossdresser always a crossdresser. YOu may be able to repress it or supress it (even for the rest of your life) but it is part of you!
Good luck and keep us posted.
Virginia

[orchard]

it was hard enough to tell my ex-girlfriend that I liked to cross-dress!
that was one trip to the sushi bar I did not enjoy, and I played down my real desires.
ohh, good luck honey.\

orchard