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Thread: Why are you in the closet?

  1. #1
    glamaholic dods460's Avatar
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    Why are you in the closet?

    So like the title says, why are you still in the closet. Now by this I mean why not tell everyone that you are a crossdresser, I'm not here to judge I just have a general curiosity. I was in the closet until very recently and now that I'm out I have no idea why I was ever in there in the first place, I get to show off my outfits and I finally know what daytime make up looks like in the daytime, however some of you do have your reasons for being in there I was just wondering why?
    Can you really have to much mascara?

  2. #2
    star girl Trisha's Avatar
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    to find a nice dress or skirt and top to go out in

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member
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    I'd say I'm 90% out of the closet. I wear what I want and go where I please without any worries. I haven't told mom and dad, and I can only imagine how that would fly around the family grapevine, considering most of them are the uber conservative. I don't tell work for obvious reasons. Work is work and it's professional life and I keep my personal life out of it. Church people have seen me. I have worn womens jeans to church. Church friends have come over and seen my toes. ( though I recently havn't been attending that church )

    IMO I'm out, I'm just not in peoples face about it. I'm also not going to hide who I am. If they don't like it, that is there problem.

    For anyone thats out, knows that being out and open is so much easier. Like I mentioned in other threads. In one day I got 3 compliments about my makeup. Was told how it brings out my eyes :P
    Last edited by noname; 02-06-2007 at 03:39 AM.

  4. #4
    Member loki_uk's Avatar
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    I'm out to quite a few friends but not to my partner I'm not sure she'd accept the full truth yet

    She does know to a degree but thinks I've just got a fetish for her underwear which provides some cover for the fact I go all the way and have been out dressed up

    Having been asked once "your not one of those bloody trannies are you" by your partner, kind of makes you a little bit backward at coming out

    So if her knickers go missing she knows why, and she knows its not the full truth now but its not something we talk about

  5. #5
    Silver Member Amy Hepker's Avatar
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    Well, it's like this, I have to many things in my life going on right now. I would love to come out, but I have my a life for myself as a male and have the need to live it also. I also have a son that lives with me.
    Ladies have a GREAT time!
    Smile GOD LOVES you!!!
    GOD BLESS US ALL!!!
    AMY Hepker

    ROSES ARE RED
    VIOLETS ARE BLUE
    I'LL BE ME
    AND YOU BE YOU

  6. #6
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    Most people stay in the closet for the security it gives them, or at least the sense of security.

    We all have our fears, and only we can conquer them, until that time, the closet feels the safest place to be.

    Just my
    Listen carefully to what is said, quite often you can hear what is not being said

    The joy of correcting a mistake can bring pain to another

  7. #7
    Platinum Member Suzie S.'s Avatar
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    I'm in the closet because I don't think Suzie is ready to be out to the world. I don''t think the world is ready for her either, LOL! It's also out of respect for my wife. I'm just lucky she accepts Suzie's existence. There's always once a year to come out of the closet on Halloween, but then thats just a portable closet, isn't it? Oh well, my closet is quite comfy anyway.
    GO RED SOX!!!

    Suzie

  8. #8
    Banned Read only Vicky_Scot's Avatar
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    I am out of the closet to my wife and have been for a long time. I also attend some tranny weekends.

    I would love to come out to everyone but the one thing that stops me is respect for my wife and children. If I was to come out it would not just be me opening myself up for abuse or ridicule or worse but it is the ripple effect as I call it which would then spread out to engulf my wife and kids. Why should they be abused, ridiculed or worse for something I do.

    Imagine their life at school/work if this got out to their friends/work collegues that their father/husband is a crossdresser.

    Also I really think that friends and people you have known for a long time opinion of you will change as they will percieve you as the way the media portray a crossdresser/tranny.

    Is it really worth all that trouble.

  9. #9
    Silver Member kerrianna's Avatar
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    Oh, you young pups and your carefree lives!

    Like Amy said I have a life as a male that will be seriously rattled if I were to come out to anyone more than I have. It's not fair to my SO - besides I don't really see any need for it. It'd be nice to be more open, but I'm content with what I have.

    Except....I keep taking small risks so who knows...maybe I am wanting to out myself. :shifty:
    "I dwell in possibility."

    "Say what you want and be who you are, because those who matter don't mind, and those who matter don't mind."--Dr. Seuss

    "I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."
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  10. #10
    Pretty in Pink Amanda Shaft's Avatar
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    I supose I've kept myself secret for so long that I'm not sure I would want anyone else to know: it's a private thing. On the otherhand I love this site and talking to other girls, I want to go out and meet the world! So as we all know it just aint that simple, and if it were easy then everyone would be doing it!
    So far in the closet, I've got one foot in Narnia!

    Never do anything that seemed a good idea at the time!

    Today I am the youngest I'm ever going to be!

    add me and message amanda.shaft@hotmail.co.uk

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  11. #11
    New Member
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    Still in The closet

    It's only recently that i discovered this site, and thank heaven's i did. I am in the closet as i am not sure how my wife would react.
    i would love to tell her and be able to dress at home as and when i wanted, but coming out of the closet totally terrifies me.

  12. #12
    Miss Conception Karren H's Avatar
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    Because its warm, and comfortable, and safe ......... If it weren't, everyone would be out!!

    Love Karren
    Current Obsession - Breasts and Lingerie!

    .......My Photos

  13. #13
    susie evans susie evans's Avatar
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    it's like most things in life some people can axceptt more than others and the risk is not worth the reward

    susie

  14. #14
    Gender Variant Badger PaulaJaneThomas's Avatar
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    I'm very out. It gives me the freedom to come and go as I want. Friends and neighbours accept that it's just part of me being me and give me a cheery wave if they see me
    Best Wishes

    Paula

    Warning: This product may contain Badger
    Every girl crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed Badger.

    "Does Magna Carta mean nothing to you? Did she die in vain?"
    - Tony Hancock

  15. #15
    Enjoying Life marie354's Avatar
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    FEAR!
    Fear of what others will say...
    Will I run into an old girlfriend, friend from church, co-worker, etc?
    Will they know who I am?

    I have started telling people that I know now, so it'll be easier if run into someone.
    My fear is fading on a daily basis and I feel it's just a matter of time for me, anyway, to feel free and easy about going out.

    Maybe the attitide to have is... The Hell with what they think if they see me!

    It's hard to think that way at this point in my life... Yet anyway.
    Time... It's all a matter of time... I have to believe in me, and I'm getting there.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  16. #16
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    Almost didn't even answer this one but figured....why not. No cute remarks just the truth as I have experienced it myself for the last 50 some years of crossdressing is secret. I started like most wearing moms stuff. Didn't want anyone knowing cause I knew the difference between boy clothes and girl clothes. But girl clothes looked and felt better and I enjoyed them so much. Now in the 50's and so young I didn't know that anybody else did this and didn't even know what it was called. I thought I was weird but accepted that because it was just me and me alone in secret that was dressing in mom's undies. This lasted for all my school years. I hid and didn't want anyone to know about this because of people making fun of me and calling me a queer. (I am not a homosexual) But that was about the only word people used back then for anything they didn't understand. Oh yes I did discover the word "Transvestite" while in high school. Just couldn't find out much about it except I was one. Now I am a crossdresser. I went into the Navy and swore I would never dress again. I did dress but not ever like I wanted to. I was always under some type of restriction from being able to express myself as I wanted. The biggest thing was buying female undergarments and thats what I wanted most. People really looked at you very strange if you did. Well I thought they did. I got married and swore I would stop dressing. I didn't. It gave me a whole new wardrobe. My wife's stuff. I did get caught and we almost divorced. It was terrible. I swore I would never dress again. Oops another lie to her and myself. I have quit more times than you are years old. I have thrown away some of the greatest clothes and shoes......oh I wish I had them back. Today is our 41st wedding aniversary. I am dressed and she is out until 12:00. If she catches me we won't be spending our 42nd aniversary together. Now thats part of the reasons "I am in the closet" If I could or would come out I couldn't pass by a blind person. I am a guy. Now I am good at passing there. Now this is about as truthful as I can get without all the little details of my adventures. I think you get my drift. Oh and by the way I will sign this with my other name. Suanne. But I bet there are quite a few friends here who could sign there name and that would be the only difference to this true life adventure. I wish it could have been a little different. But I am really enjoying Suanne in my life for the first time. The internet has been my helper to find others just like me and be accepted for who I am.

    Suanne

  17. #17
    Junior Member
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    I would like to escape from the closet but my lifestyle and community prohibits it. But you go girl for the some of the rest of us.

  18. #18
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    Suanne stole my story, I am just a little older than her, and after dressing as ovten as I could as a boy, I didn't even hear the word Transvestite until I was in by twentys, and in the context I had read it, i thought it was the word thatkind of fit me. So I looked it up in the Dictonary, but the word was not there ( no bad words in the dictonary of that period, and people thought that was a bad word) the only difference is I ended up in devorce, and got lucky in a second marrage, found a woman that understands and excepts me for who I am.
    But grown kids from the first marrage would not, and I don't want to lose them again!
    Tina B.

  19. #19
    On the Capn's Ship Kimberley's Avatar
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    It is simple; to keep my family together, the one thing that matters most in my life. Any attempt to transition will destroy that, so I went back in the closet and I remain.

    I'm not happy about it but it is a reality I have to face. Plain and simple.


    Kimberley
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    www.transgenderlondon.com

    Venus and Mars are not aligned; Good thing.
    Where are all the rumballs?
    I may not soar with eagles, but then weasels dont get sucked into jet engines...

  20. #20
    Junior Member michelle-h's Avatar
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    For me personally, its a matter of responsibility. I have to look out for my wife and children. I have a familly to provide for, and I can't risk losing my job, or public humiliation. My wife and parents already know, and I will tell my kids at some point. I already go out with a few girlfriends from time to time. Otherwise I have nothing to gain from being out to the world. And there is too much at stake for me to risk it. So for now, the closet is ok for me.

    Michelle-H

  21. #21
    Dejavu Marianna Julianna's Avatar
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    Because if my parents found out it would kill them, and the boy is still at school so no doubt the other kids there would give him hell, when natures takes it's course and my parents die, and when the boy is old enough to have more or less done with school, then I intend to be more open about it all, maybe much more so, time will tell.
    Have faith. I don't mean faith in gods or governments, prophets or pundits. Have faith in yourself, in what you can do and what you know to be right. What you need is inside yourself, you can not find it in a book or the words of another, it may be hardest to find it there but if you look, find it you will!

    My Flickr page http://www.flickr.com/photos/mariannaj

  22. #22
    Gold Member MJ's Avatar
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    hey dods
    the big reason is fear, the fear of losing my wife , kids , a loving home , friends, family,work, church omg what would happen if they found out ?

    well the bottom line is they all did , but i still kept my job everything else went out the window..
    and now two years later i have a new life full time as MJ , so was it worth losing everything for >>>>> sometimes i wish i had the best of both worlds
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  23. #23
    just one of the girls diane59's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amy Wannabe View Post
    Well, it's like this, I have to many things in my life going on right now. I would love to come out, but I have my a life for myself as a male and have the need to live it also. I also have a son that lives with me.
    Ditto here!
    "Diane"

  24. #24
    Maturing Member JoAnnDallas's Avatar
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    I guess I am now 50% in the closet and 50% out. The 50% in the closet is the wife, family, work, friends. The 50% out is here on this forum and two other forums, my Tri-Ess chapter and all the girls and SO's there and all the CD friends I have made from this and the other two forums. I go out in the day time and night time and feel very compfy when I do. I know that the Probability the first 50% finding out increases over time but I will face that day when it comes.

  25. #25
    CD from ME
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    In the closet

    Mainly because I look all man and I look strange in womens clothes. If I had done what I wanted to when I was a kid I would look beautiful in any womens clothes but back then there was no support so I just dressed in the closet.
    I thought many times about going to school in a skirt that I had. I thought many times about trying out for cheerleading but stereotyping was very and is very strong in this small hick town. If I went out today dressed up then I would still either be beaten up or killed. It is not worth the problems that it would entail either. Scared? NO! Just facing facts and real life......JMO2

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