do i tell them or not

[sugarspice]

hi all,

i am just wanting a bit of advice from anyone who may be able to help,

i was at work today and im a nursery nurse so i work with all girls, when one of them was looking through a magazine and found a piece on c/d. it was saying about how a girl saw her b/f and he came out etc. the staff members comment wasnt too impressive and i stuck up for them stating that its not odd or wrong etc. she didnt really say anything but i just felt like saying that my partner does it! i didint bcos i dont feel its there business not only that ive only been there 2 weeks.
my dilemma is should i just put it out in the open and take waht i get or keep it to me and nina?
not only that but bcos my old work mates didnt know nina took it as offence and though i was ashamed. this isnt so i just felt that it had nothibng o do with them and the fact it hadnt ever come into convo! what should i do if in this situation again?

[SherryLynn GG]

I would just give your opinion, but personally I wouldnt tell coworkers that ive only known for 2 weeks. It could make work very stressful and uncomfy. So unless you enjoy being talked about behind your back or plan on leaving the job I suggest not opening your mouth til you get to know them better.

Of course they could accept it 100% and not think anything of it, but honestly I think the first scenario of them talking about you would be more accurate.

[Emeralddragon]

Simple answer is ask nina what she thinks.

[Bev06 GG]

Why tell them is the short answer. How could it possibly affect them, and what has it got to do with them anyway. Dont get me wrong Im not ashamed of CDs and there is nothing untoward or worrying about them. However, public opinion still has along way to go on the education side of things as yet.
You know what its like being a nursery nurse. Often times your guilty of some heinous crime just for turning up for work in a pair of shorts or a skimpy top.
Parents are the worlds worst for being over protective toward their offspring and might read more into it, because as sure as hell theyde get to know too.
I am a childcare development officer and I inspect and advise nurseries, pre schools, and kids clubs etc on legal aspects of their businesses, funding, staff employment and development, CRB checks etc. I have witnessed many cases whereby parents have been alittle over protective and only wanted certain nursery nurses to look after their children, because in their opinion that particular person has the right qualities and background to be mixing with their offspring. You can imagine what those kind of people would think if they knew your partner was a CD. OMG she's seeing a pervert.
Doesn't bare thinking of so my advice is stick up for CDs all you like, but dont admit to having one as a partner, NOT YET ANYHOW, they dont know and trust you well enough yet.
Take caare
Bev

[az_azeel]

Well said Bev.... Two weeks is far to short a time to get to know co-workers

[Julie York]

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm? radar radar




It's not your secret to tell is it?

[Brianna Lovely]

I don't see why you can't make a positive comment about CDing, without implicating your SO. After all, people make comments or show a supportive attitude, all the time, and they don't have to be directly involved with the object of the discussion.

[TxKimberly]

You keep a nice low profile until you've been there long enough to earn respect and have people regard you as someone they want to work with. AFTER you've reached that point, you can start tossing your opinion out there. In the meantime, thank you for even considering sticking up for us!

(((sugarspice)))

Kim

hi all,

i am just wanting a bit of advice from anyone who may be able to help,

i was at work today and im a nursery nurse so i work with all girls, when one of them was looking through a magazine and found a piece on c/d. it was saying about how a girl saw her b/f and he came out etc. the staff members comment wasnt too impressive and i stuck up for them stating that its not odd or wrong etc. she didnt really say anything but i just felt like saying that my partner does it! i didint bcos i dont feel its there business not only that ive only been there 2 weeks.
my dilemma is should i just put it out in the open and take waht i get or keep it to me and nina?
not only that but bcos my old work mates didnt know nina took it as offence and though i was ashamed. this isnt so i just felt that it had nothibng o do with them and the fact it hadnt ever come into convo! what should i do if in this situation again?

[Amy Hepker]

Since you are new to the job, I would say that you should not tell anyone about yourself as of yet. That is unless you don't want your job. Someplaces might just consider you totally wrong for the position you are in. If others people outside the place you work at should find out it could jeperdise there business. They may feel threatened.

[Shelly Preston]

No !!!!

You dont tell them

You might say you dont see anything wrong with C/D if the subject arises, they don't need to know any more

Bev has already given you a lot of the reasons why

[trannie T]

A person should not be 'outed' without their knowledge and consent.

[Angie G]

Julie is right it's not yours to yell hun
Angie

[Darlene Rochelle]

I wonder what magazine they were reading???? Anyone know?????

[Marcie Sexton]

Take your stand, state your opinion, then let it go...some things are best left unsaid !!!

[Tina Dixon]

Better ask your mate before you do any thing like that, good grief:mad:

[Robin Leigh]

bcos my old work mates didnt know nina took it as offence and though i was ashamed. this isnt so i

Um, ladies. That looks to me that Nina has given Sugarspice permission to tell.

But I do agree, don't tell, Sugarspice. Not yet, anyway. Give it a year or two.



Robin

[Emma England]

the staff members comment wasnt too impressive and i stuck up for them stating that its not odd or wrong etc.

If the staff are not impressed by a cd article, they are unlikey to be impressed if you crossdressed in front of them.

If they are close-minded, it would be best to stay quiet.

[DonnaT]

Tell them people have a right to do what they want as long as it doesnt hurt anyone else.

Ask the how would they feel if they weren't allowed to work, just because someone else thought women should be barefoot and pregnant at home!

Never out someone else to make a point. If Nina doesn't mind being outed, then that's a different story.

[sugarspice]

thankyou all for ur advice, no its not me dressing and yes nina has wondered why i hadnt told my friends from previous so wouldnt mind others knowing. i was just wondering on the point of am i right not too or should i be comfortable telling everyone my partner is a cd. again ty for ur answers i will take all in thought.

[kathly]

when it comes to the work place I think keeping you personal life to your self is better. well thats what I think because you can avoid the drama later on.

[Sheri 4242]

Brianna was right! There are many ways of making positive comments on the subject - comments that are intelligent and insightful - without going too far. I really don't think you shoud implicate your SO at this time!!! Educating others about CDing is a major undertaking -- far too many people who don't know the facts make incorrect assumptions. At the point you are in in this workplace, you might gain respect for yourself and your insight (which probably needs to come before you make a strong stand or implicate another) by subtly educating your fellow co-workers. At this point in time you might just make leading statements when apropos, like, "Interesting you've brought up this subject. I've read some authoritative studies on the subject, and the overwhelming majority of M-t-F CD's are heterosexual males." That would be an example of a springboard statement. You would be planting a seed -- later you may have a chance to harvest what you've planted b/c such a statement might lead to a co-worker seeking more insight from you later -- a day later, a month later, a year later.

["Mary"]

Offer your opinion, but don't make it a crusade. Keep a low profile. You don't have a duty in this matter.

Best wishes,

Diana

[Lovely Rita]

Hard to say. I do really admire how you want to stick up for your Nina though. Just give it a lot of thought.

Never do anything from an emotional response like anger. Shooting from the hip is never good. Think about it when you are calm. Then decide.