Different degrees

[Joanne f]

Hi all,
i know that some might say cross dressing is cross dressing but i seem to go through a cycle, one day i can be happy not wearing anything femmine the next day i might be happy to just wear a nice top under my coat then at times i wake up and feel that i must go all the way and wear every thing femmine and it is at that stage i some times wish that i could get a carving knife out and cut my male bits off because i feel like a have to be all woman or that i am a woman in the wrong body, i feel like i am trapped between two me`s never always wanting to be one or the other all the time, it is like being stuck in a never ending circle, is there any one else like this or do you all know what you want to be all the time.
joanne f

[Tina Dixon]

It's like a drug isn't it, a habit that can't be fixed.

[Suzie S.]

Hi Joanne. I think most of us go through some sort of cycle. I've had days where the mood just wasn't there to cd, not many, but some. There are also days that I feel so feminine and couldn't bring myself to put on male clothes. There are also days that I still feel feminine, even in male clothes. I've had days where I wake up and thank God I'm a man, and quite a few days where I wish I was a real woman. Confusing, I know.

My best advice is to take it slowly. Think things through, and don't do anything rash. The term 'baby steps' is used frequently on this forum, for good reason. I tend to let my moods guide me through what I am going to do on any given day, with consideration of my wife also. Just try to get comfortable with this cycle, it is like a pendulum. There's nothing wrong with you for having these feelings, it's natural for many cd's. Just try to keep it swinging with balance, and don't lose sight of the world around you, your responsibilities, and the people you love. Best wishes!

[Kate Simmons]

I used to be that way, Joanne and it was kind of frustrating sometimes. Since I've integrated my feelings, I'm okay with myself no matter what I look like. I've been Richard a little more than usual lately and have been good with it, in fact I'm kind of enjoying it more than I used to. That's not to say I don't enjoy being Salandra, I do immensely but I've learned to be comfortable with myself either way. After all, the clothes do not make the person, the person makes the clothes.

[Karren H]

Well don't think of it as trapped in a cycle..... Trapped is such a negative word... and that appears to translate to how you feel about your crossdressing.... If you treat it like a "drug adiction" then you'll never enjoy it for the gift it is...

I'd rather think of it positively, so I look forward to dressing up and my life is not trapped in a cycle but enhanced by it...... "Best of BOTH Genders".... with neither one degrading the other..... Adventures in Genderland......

Crossdressing is supposed to be fun..... Maybe your not doing it correctly... hehehe
Did you read the instruction manual?? LOL

Love Karren

[sara_also]

Well don't think of it as trapped in a cycle..... Trapped is such a negative word... and that appears to translate to how you feel about your crossdressing.... If you treat it like a "drug adiction" then you'll never enjoy it for the gift it is...

I'd rather think of it positively, so I look forward to dressing up and my life is not trapped in a cycle but enhanced by it...... "Best of BOTH Genders".... with neither one degrading the other..... Adventures in Genderland......

Crossdressing is supposed to be fun..... Maybe your not doing it correctly... hehehe
Did you read the instruction manual?? LOL

Love Karren

I love Comments like this..It shows how much your "attitude" will control your life and happiness in this wacky world.

[diane59]

Hi Joanne. I think most of us go through some sort of cycle. I've had days where the mood just wasn't there to cd, not many, but some. There are also days that I feel so feminine and couldn't bring myself to put on male clothes. There are also days that I still feel feminine, even in male clothes. I've had days where I wake up and thank God I'm a man, and quite a few days where I wish I was a real woman. Confusing, I know.

My best advice is to take it slowly. Think things through, and don't do anything rash. The term 'baby steps' is used frequently on this forum, for good reason. I tend to let my moods guide me through what I am going to do on any given day, with consideration of my wife also. Just try to get comfortable with this cycle, it is like a pendulum. There's nothing wrong with you for having these feelings, it's natural for many cd's. Just try to keep it swinging with balance, and don't lose sight of the world around you, your responsibilities, and the people you love. Best wishes!

could'nt have said it better if I wanted to!

[Daintre]

For most, dressing is cyclical, but as Karren has stated, better to treat it as an opportunity than a curse. As you grow older the cycle evens out and you become comfortable with yourself however you are dressed.

[Lovely Rita]

I am sure we all have different degrees depending on our moods. Some of it is real and some are illusion. That is why the medical profession always have Transexuals live as woman for a year or two to see if they really want to take the next step.
I personally never even consider surgery or removal of any part of me. I love how God created me. I also enjoy being CD and not a woman. I do not want to be a Woman. I only want to be the best me possible.

I am an Enigma and I love it. I don't understand the whole thing. I do love it though. I really enjoy being male and experiencing my feminine side.

Please don't dress near any sharp objects

[Casey Morgan]

I know that frustration you're feeling Joanne. When I joined this site I used to feel like I was two people, a man and a woman, but you could only see one of us. One of my first steps to discovering who I truly am was to accept that everything I thought and felt was a part of me. All those things you're feeling are a part of you. And that's OK. I know you're trying to figure out what you want to be. But first you have to be you, all of you. The rest will become clearer as you accept and cherish all those different things you're feeling.

[Pippilotta]

I think you will find it very useful to keep track of your cycles/moods and try & see if there maybe is a pattern that is repeating itself. Are there any outside factors or stresses that might influence you ? If you could so so without endangering yourself I should suggest you keep notes, or even a little diary. What this is all about actually is getting to know oneself, and trying to turn into a whole that which you experience in bits and pieces in conflict with each other. To some extent, no doubt, it also depends on your age: human maturity comes with time, so be patient with yourself.