It's time to give this up...50 days later

[Salina]

Hello everyone,

I posted a thread 7 weeKs ago stating a decision had been made to give up CDing after 30+ years. It's actually been a smoother ride than I thought it would be, but, there is no overconfidence present. Purging was difficult, but if it hadn't been done this post probably would be different. Yesterday after work as I was thinking about making this post an overwhelming urge came over me to dress. Probably the strongest urge in the 7 weeks, go figure...Not having the clothes anymore certainly helped me overcome the urge. I knew going into this it wouldn't be easy and have a game plan on how to handle urges.

I had not read the replies to my posts until just before starting this thread. Thank you everyone who posted with words of encouragement and support. That really meant alot to me, and quite honestly I was surprised. So, I need to apologize for having preconceived notions about what the response would be. Please accept my apology for expecting less than supportive replies.

The things I wanted to do to fill the time previously spent dressing are happening. Filling those chunks of time with other activities is crucial for me, and not having to be secretive and hiding has removed some stress as well.
I feel like I'm being a better father, husband, son, friend, and coworker to the people in my life who are most important. Part of this change in my life is spiritual, but it's not the sole reason for my decision. I know there is a religious forum I can address that aspect of my decision in. To address one of the replies, part of the reason I'm posting my journey and will continue whether I continue to not CD or go back is to let the people who may want to quit know that they're not alone and maybe it can be done.

I'll check back in in a few months to let you know how it's going. Until then, peace, happiness, and good health to all of you.

[Joy Carter]

Thank for letting us know. Continued success from someone who will never give it up.

[AERIN]

I know how you feel about giving it all up.
All my life I have dressed enfemme and in the last ten years it took off like a roller coaster ride gone wild. Now in my mid 60's it seems to be coming to an end. I don't believe it will ever go away entirely though, so I am keeping a few outfits for those times that come on strong. Things I have givern up by choice: going out dressed, been there done that, not a big deal anymore; prosthetics and bra; tons of makeup, I have just enough to give me face some color, Shopping...gone!; Pictures...can't do that anymore, age takes it toll on the girl. I am comfortable with all this and ready to move on with my life. I still look forward to the two weekends a year where I get together with CD friends at a special resort. I feel freed up of some heavy burdens carrying
my secret around and wanting to burst out. I am glad I never went SRS, a return is not possible. So I do know the journey manyof you who are younger are traveling along and I can relate to you. Keep in mind all things in time pass. Don't do anything crazy!

[Raychel]

I know exactly what you are saying. Being a cd can totally take over your life if you are not careful. Getting that balance can be very difficult. I hope that you are able to find that balance and enjoy your life as well as the lives of your childrens and wife's

Good luck to you
Best wishes
Raychel

[Daintre]

All the best to you Salina, I see that the "urge" is still there, but you have in place a plan to account for it. I will just say good luck, hope all goes well.

[Kate Simmons]

I appreciate you getting back to us Salina and letting us know how things are going. I can only say I'm very happy for you. Like yourself and Aerin, I'm at the point where I really no longer need to do this to be myself. I've pretty much balanced myself and have integrated my feelings. Like Aerin said, been there, done that. I don't regret any of it really, as it has put me more deeply in touch with myself, especially the parts I tried to deny before. I don't feel like a man or woman really, just myself.
As Aerin said, I will not doubt keep some stuff but as life goes on, the adventure continues. I still enjoy the glitter and feeling of being feminine but it's not foremost in my thoughts anymore and not really necessary to make me happy. My perception of myself goes way beyond any labels and while that may be hard for some to understand, it's nonetheless true.
Being yourself and being true to that self should be the goal. Finding that self may be difficult but is well worth the effort. Good luck my friend. Salandra

[MJ]

thank you for your post, i wish you all the best , no matter the turnout

[susie evans]

best wishes thruogh out life

susie