Confronting people

[noname]

The other day I was returning a video before going out for the night with my wife. I walked in and said, I'd like to return this. "Sure, we'll be with you a in a sec." So I'm standing there wearing jeans, a mens pink shirt, mascara and these face sparkle things.

Well these two old guys are checking a video ( they were not together ) out and one stares at me and looks away looking very pissed. The other one just stares at me with an evil glare. I ignore these guys right. But this older guy just sits there with an evil glare, I ignore him again. I glace over a bit later, sure enough, he's still staring intently. So I stare back, nope he is unfazed. Finally I ask him, "How you doing tonight?" His takes a big breath and snorts out his nose, looks away for 2 second and goes back to staring at me.

I'm sure he though I was some brazen gay. To which I thought, I'll bet that is why these guys have such issues with me. It brought to light to me how much gay people are unaccepted today. I had previously thought gays for the most had achieved acceptance. I think I was dead wrong. It's amazing how ignorant some people can be.

[danielle_from_cal]

I do not know what you look like but, assuming you look at least half decent en femme, they were probably just afraid of their feelings of attraction to you. But, even if you look "ugly" dressed up, there is no excuse for people to be rude, so either way they were in the wrong.

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

I've gone out partially enfemme and have thankfully not had to encounter anything like that. I think you handled the whole affair splendidly though - I give you major props for keeping your cool and just doing your thing. I know that people can be so ignorant - especially older people, I'd imagine; it's their cohort I guess - and I'm not looking forward to facing it. But still, I'm gonna go out and accept it. I am a cross-dresser! This is who I am and if people have a problem with it - tough. They can kiss my well-rounded patootie (when in women's jeans).
I'm sorry to hear about your encounter noname, but you handled it well. Congrats.

[Stephenie S]

A huge smile will defrost almost any situation. If not, at least it lets people know they are not getting to you. I find this is much more effective than getting into a staring contest.

But getting stared at is something ALL GGs have to put up with every day. If you go out looking at all fem, it kinda goes with the territory. Get used to it.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[trannie T]

You had the guy breathless and speechless. He was not mad or irate he was in lust.

[susiej]

Sure as God made Little Green Apples, these two "old" guys looked at you briefly, perceived a cute girl, thought how nice it would be if things were different, and they were younger, and they met her and had a fun night with her, however you define "fun". At some point in your life, fantasy is all you have left, and when that happens, it's important. Then -- they looked a little closer.

OMG, it's a guy! I've been fantasizing about taking up with a guy! Oh, sh*t, I almost said something to her/him/aaaccck! I'm gay! No, no, I can't be, but she is kind of cute... No, *gasp*, how could I make that mistake? I'm not gay, am I???

If these guys had been younger, they would have taken the misconception in stride, and maybe answered you: "I'm doing fine, actually. Excuse me for saying this, and I mean it as a compliment, I was thinking of hitting on you."

The good news is that the "old" guys are dying off, and the younger ones are taking their places!

Hugs,
Susie

[AllieSF]

And may the old ideas die with them!

[noname]

I do not know what you look like but, assuming you look at least half decent en femme, they were probably just afraid of their feelings of attraction to you. But, even if you look "ugly" dressed up, there is no excuse for people to be rude, so either way they were in the wrong.

I looked like a million dollars. I felt like a million dollars. People repeatedly guess me age to be early 20's.

I wasn't trying to pass, hey... I was wearing a mens shirt. Some have suggested that perhaps they were attracted to me. I'm about 99.8% certain it was homophobic fear. I wasn't offended by them though, I kept thinking, what morons, I wonder if they realize how dated their attitudes are., hmmm... do they know they are not in kansas and it's not 1957.

I'll tell you what though, nothing beats style and confidence to pull it off. A few GG's got a bit chatty with me that night, so I'm certain I didn't look bad.

[Joy Carter]

I can tell you that you did fine. But I wouldn't get into a staring contest with anyone. Some would take it to be a major offense that could turn violent.

[kerrianna]

Sure as God made Little Green Apples, these two "old" guys looked at you briefly, perceived a cute girl, thought how nice it would be if things were different, and they were younger, and they met her and had a fun night with her, however you define "fun". At some point in your life, fantasy is all you have left, and when that happens, it's important. Then -- they looked a little closer.

OMG, it's a guy! I've been fantasizing about taking up with a guy! Oh, sh*t, I almost said something to her/him/aaaccck! I'm gay! No, no, I can't be, but she is kind of cute... No, *gasp*, how could I make that mistake? I'm not gay, am I???

If these guys had been younger, they would have taken the misconception in stride, and maybe answered you: "I'm doing fine, actually. Excuse me for saying this, and I mean it as a compliment, I was thinking of hitting on you."

The good news is that the "old" guys are dying off, and the younger ones are taking their places!

Hugs,
Susie

serves them right Susie. Poor shut down ignorant guys. It must be very dark in that cellar they live in.

nn, sounds like you handled it well.

Your description of him snorting reminds me of one of my favourite quotes:
Never wrestle with a pig. You both get muddy and the pig LIKES it.

[Kate Simmons]

That just shows their lack of confidence in themselves and their own sexuality. Kind of neat, I think having our own little invisible "Tinkerbelle" following us around to sprinkle her "pixie dust". Gives you a feeling of power sometimes. I know I'm bad that way and tend to get a kick out of it. It's mostly due to the fact that I hate stereotyping of any kind and am interested in people as themselves. That's just life sometimes, I guess.

[Karren H]

Well you can't please all the people all of the time..... and I don't even try to please anyone but myself anymore... So if others don't like it.... tooooo bad!!!



Karren

[Emma England]

Karren,

You attitude is perfect!!

[Brianna Lovely]

You could be right, they may have been homophobic. And yes, depending where you live, Gay people are not accepted and are still being beaten to death.

That being said, I don't think that I would have gotten into a starring contest.

I live "down south" but have only had one, hmmm, "challange".

I had just come out of a convenience store and had just finsihed calling my nail-tech to make an appointment. I was wearing an above the knee denim skirt, deep-V neck light blue top, earrings, fem sandals and carrying a denim purse. As I hung up the phone, a car pulled up and parked in front of me. A man got out and was walking toward me, to go into the store. Then he stopped and stared at me for a moment, then said, "You know, you can't defend yourself, with your finger nails like that."
I slipped my cell phone into my purse, then looked right at him, and said,
"Well, honey, I'll just have to b**ch-slap you then. Won't I?"
With that, he walked backwards, went around his car and into the store.

Do I still go out dressed like that?
You better believe I do!

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

A huge smile will defrost almost any situation. If not, at least it lets people know they are not getting to you. I find this is much more effective than getting into a staring contest.

But getting stared at is something ALL GGs have to put up with every day. If you go out looking at all fem, it kinda goes with the territory. Get used to it.

I definitely agree with the smile advice, Stephanie. I think replying positively rather than negatively or even like you don't notice could probably difuse most situations. If that doesn't work then you can always just walk away, I suppose. I really don't know since I haven't been out yet!

I also agree with what you say about GGs being stared at all the time. I am actually looking forward to this sort of attention because I want to know what it is like to be a woman as much as I possibly can. I want to pass and not only pass, I want to face all the ostricizing, criticsm, discrimination, etc. that I possibly can because, heck, if I want to dress like a woman I should damn well be treated like one.

Great stuff Stephanie!

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

I'm about 99.8% certain it was homophobic fear.

Why must everyone that sees a man wearing any article of women's clothing and who is not necessarily trying pass automatically think he's gay? I mean, actual gay men do not wear skirts or the like do they? So, why then must I, if I go out partially enfemme be thought to be gay? It's not fair! Stop jumping to conclusions people! We're cross-dressers, and if we happen to be gay as well, that's fine, but don't make crass assumptions either way!

[Toyah]

We do not fit into accepted society accept it and you will be happy er CD gay lesbian short tall disabled !!!!!!!! get the picture we are not the norm so are not to be trusted

[Kate Simmons]

I know all about norms Toyah. Problem is, I'm still trying to find that "average" American family with 2.5 children.

[AERIN]

Last Summer after having gone out in public many times Enfemme, I appeared at a local watering hole dressed female (Marilyn Monroe White Dress) to sing a song at karaoke. After the song a young girl told me I did a great job singing ala Willie Nelson while dressed. I was very pleased and on a royal high. Weeks later I discovered from the owner of the bar that my femme atire and appearance repulsed one of his customers so much tahat the man had to leave. Well he was a redneck so I dismissed the whole affair only to have it come back and haunt me. Once again who was I hurting? I dubbed this bar the "Star Wars bar" because so many different people frequented it all at one time. There were bikers, cowboys, straight people, Gay men and crossdressers. Salandra you might know this bar, Linda's Hideaway. Well I never went back.

[joann07]

Its good that nothing else happened.
Who knows, they could've followed you out to your car and jumped you.
I'd hate to hear that happen to anyone.
Now that I think about it, I need to get a bigger purse so I can carry concealed.

[Alice Torn]

Whoever said life was supposed to be easy. I'd like to find that guy! I am a member of a small, but, but growing worlwide church, whose message, I live by.... except for once in a while, dressing up. If it were found out, that I did this, I would be talked to, and told, to overcome, repent of it, or be suspended. I really have to keep it secret, from people, so, I almost never go out. I know, that the Higher Power knows, and I have to answer to Him, not people, someday. If, I had been allwed to have a lovely wife, long ago, I may not have this addiction, but, I only do it once, every six weeks or so. A lot of people just cannot stomach, a man wearing lady clothes, but, they don't mind women wearing men's clothes. I think it is because, down through history, more was expected of men, as protecters, and providers, hunters, fishers, leaders. There are a lot of men out there, who will verbally, and physically assault, a cder, especially, if they are attracted to one, mistaking one, for a gg. It may be the minority, but, you must be careful.