Spotted someone on a en-femme shopping spree - but I couldn't bring myself to say hi.

[sandcastle]

I was in the Reading branch of Marks & Sparks a few weeks ago (in drab) waiting for my SO. While I scanned the women's clothes aisles looking for her I noticed a tallish woman.

I'm sure it was a fellow cd. Looked pretty good.

Two thoughts occupied my mind. I'd really love to be doing that - and can't.
The other thought was that I should say hello. Yet (probably cowardedly) I couldn't think of a way to do so that would have a happy ending.

Sometimes it's a very disappointing world we live in.

Sandra

[Diana West]

The question is more: What will you do next time?

[Karren H]

Well she may or may not have wanted you to.... When out and trying to pass you don't want to draw any undue attention... At least I don't. I have seen a coulple possible CDs in drab mode shopping and have said "Hi"... Neither were very sociable... But I have said hi to a one of us girls on the street and she returned my hi with a smile..

Now why again can't you do that??

Karren

[sandcastle]

I racked my brain then about all the possible things (many) that might happen.

Though since reading some Threads here, if I saw her again (unlikely) I might try the 'nice shoes' opening line, and then scurry off before anyone spotted me.

It was very busy in the shop.

Sandra

[Eva Diva]

"I love your outfit - I have one just like it".

"That outfit looks so wonderful".

"I wish I was dressed like that now".

"That colour looks fabulous on you dear".

A compliment and a smile go a long way. Most people appreciate them, especially when they are not expected.


I used the -our spelling above and got a spelling error warning.

[AERIN]

A Cder out on the town shopping is highly strung and hoping to pass without any intervention. It's best to just admire her courage and let her have her fun alone as it may seem. If she doesn't know you it could startle her. I know you wouyld have meant well but any response might have killed her desire to try it again.

[Roberta Lynn]

I agree with Aerin. A CD out trying to pass doesn't want to be read by anyone.
Just treat her like any other shopper.

[janet levine]

I too wasin drab in M&S in woking looking through the undies section when i looked up and gazed into the eyes of the most gorgeousguy ive ever seen 5'8 shoulder length red hair the most delicate hands and a lovely smile .........i smiled back and went on flicking through the bras but my heart was racing a few miutes later we were side by side he started to make small talk about the underwear on the racks and i found myself moving around the department with him i bought 2 bras and a couple of pairs of knickers his basket was quite full too. we stayed together until wed paid and i introduced myself ...........she was rachel .............by this time my knees were like jelly rachel suggested going for a coffee and we went to the cafeteria sat down and chatted as if wed known each other for years. as we got up to leave i said i had to go to the loo so did rachel we went in to the gents and it was deserted .................as i stood at the stall i felt rachels hands fonling my bottom i turned to her and we kissed i almost fainted it was exquisite............................were now very close and i love her dearly .......god ..just to think that chance meeting changed my life

[MJ]

you know if someone spotted me i would hope they came over and say hello, but again if you were in drab would you want to be seen with me ? is that your issue as you know what they say takes one to know one !! , and if this person as the courage to go out en-femme then a friendly hi would pick up my spirits how would you feel ?

[Eva Diva]

A Cder out on the town shopping is highly strung and hoping to pass without any intervention. It's best to just admire her courage and let her have her fun alone as it may seem. If she doesn't know you it could startle her. I know you wouyld have meant well but any response might have killed her desire to try it again.

That type of response surprises me. isn't this forum full of people unhappy about being alone? I can't imagine many CDers would be startled to the point of panic by the very acnkowledgement and compliments that so many seek. I would think that a friendly voice would do the exact opposite - provide reassurance the same way that this forum does.

Just my

[AERIN]

The forum is not about unhappy people being alone! it is about people who want to dress enfemme and some in public. I am never surprised by anyones responses, to each her own girlie!
We are not all attention *****s.

[sandcastle]

I get embarrased just being in Marks & Spencers undies section - especially as my (unaware) SO was in the shop.

I bought myself ('Xmas present for girlfriend') a basque there a few years ago, but was very nervous that I might get seen by someone who knows me.

Perhaps it's just me, but when I'm hanging outside the changing room waiting for my SO to show me what she's trying on, I irrationally suspect the staff of thinking you're a perv who wants to peak at the other ladies.

Sandra the paranoid.

[Lisa Golightly]

What if it was a woman?

[sandcastle]

Lisa,

I'm fairly sure they were wearing a wig, as this is what I spotted first of all.

Sandra.

PS. Lisa, your b&w avitar is very stylish, and I really envy your full-time lifestyle. Plus you have own business and your own hair. What industry do you trade in?

[Joy Carter]

I was talking to a deputy who works in the local mall. He told me "You ought to see all the perverts that frequent the Victoria's Secret." I just smirked.

[krisla]

I have the same issue as Lisa, I go to a local Macy's and I am sure that one of the SAs in jewerly is TG, maybe pre or post op. She really looks pretty but she is very tall for a girl, and I just know it's one of us. I want to say hi or some sort of support but then I am afraid I may offend her, she obviously wants to pass as a women. I did tell myself that the next time I go to buy something for my wife I will go there and at least give her a sale.

Krisla

[Ms. Emily]

That type of response surprises me. isn't this forum full of people unhappy about being alone? I can't imagine many CDers would be startled to the point of panic by the very acnkowledgement and compliments that so many seek. I would think that a friendly voice would do the exact opposite - provide reassurance the same way that this forum does.

Just my

I'm sure your right about the people on this forum. But maybe that person isn't comfortable with CDing yet. Not everybody is dying for acknowledgement and compliments. With all the people I've seen on here saying they've purged there clothes for fear of being outed. I wouldn't be surprised if someone got spooked that easily. Besides what if they believe they have been blending in. Do you want to ruin that for them ??

[crusadergirl]

If i was out shopping enfemme i wouldn't really mind if someone said hi to me.
I think its the right thing to do, atlest you know your not dreaming. Theres nothing wrong with that.

[RachelDenise]

It is difficult to know what to do. Many people who are out are quite comfortable in their fem life, but I would wager that the majority are not. You never know what kind of reaction you'd get. Maybe we're back to that secret handshake/code word/ lapel pin thing!

[pocoyo]

I go to a local Macy's and I am sure that one of the SAs in jewerly is TG, maybe pre or post op. She really looks pretty but she is very tall for a girl, and I just know it's one of us. I want to say hi or some sort of support but then I am afraid I may offend her, she obviously wants to pass as a women. I did tell myself that the next time I go to buy something for my wife I will go there and at least give her a sale.

Krisla

Lol sometimes it is just too hard to tell...

You can get some very VERY large/tall gg's.

I have a friend, he is like 6'5 tall and he has a twin sister who is almost the same height and size as him.

Seriously, she is really tall and really strong (and even "masculine") looking, but she is also very gorgeous and attractive.
She is also definitely a gg hehe!

[Lisa Golightly]

Lisa,

I'm fairly sure they were wearing a wig, as this is what I spotted first of all.

Sandra.

PS. Lisa, your b&w avitar is very stylish, and I really envy your full-time lifestyle. Plus you have own business and your own hair. What industry do you trade in?

Hi Sandra, women wear wigs too

Thank you for your many compliments, you are very kind Actually I work in the computer industry

[Kerrie Sifton]

Last June I saw a tall girl at Future shop,the most attractive girl in the entire store, great skirt, blouse...and I was with my kids. This woman was smiling and looking around as she was returning items at the service desk. She did look like she was having fun. If I did not have my kids, and was at the other end of the store, my response would have been a friendly hello and a simple conversation. Normally, I'm friendly anyway when in a crowd starting up conversations s we stand at a checkout. Conversational, complimentary if it fits. Friendly, not necessarily flirting, practice..practice. (Sure sometimes people think I am a bit nutty) If they want to talk back they will.

[Eva Diva]

It's not like I'm suggesting that you shout from the other side of the store "Hey, look, a guy in a dress!" If someone really didn't want to interact with anyone, they wouldn't go out. And a simple, friendly compliment isn't the same as being outed. It does allow the other person to respond as they wish.

[Diana West]

I do think it is a good point that he may have wanted to pass and be unnoticed. It could make him self-consicous.

In my case, even if someone paid me a compliment, I would become self-conscious. Also I know it would be rude but I wouldn't reply because my voice is so completely, frustratingly unfeminine.