It feels a bit awkward - using feminine names in forums

[veronicag48]

Since I got my computer and have been able to access numerous CD websites
the one thing that I am having a hard time getting used to is referring to and being referred to as sister or girlfriend or any of the other feminine names being used. This seems awkward and I know in time it will come natural to me but for the moment it feels a bit strange.

[claireswife-gg]

Well, as most people like to celebrate their female side here where they are safe to do so, most people do refer to each other as sister, etc.

I have seen a couple of people use their male names. Do what you want to be comfortable, and welcome!

[Samantha B L]

Hi there Veronica,Consider this,it's a lot of fun to use a female name.It's as much fun as buying your first wig or having you nails done.And using a kind of Female alias just for fun provides us all with a little anonymity that we wouldn't have if we used our real names.Anyhow,welcome to the forum and a big hello.It's great to have you aboard,Veronica.Yours,Samantha

[Barb Valentine]

It does feel strange at first that's for sure
The first time a talk to someone and they called me" Barb "
I didn't what to say
Or the first time I said "my dress" I had to laugh
You just it use to it

[Daintre]

I agree, you will grow to like it. I remember when I first saw my Psyc Doc. she asked me how I wanted to be referred to, I was embarrassed told her Jenni and she always called me that, it really helped me come to realize what I was doing was ok.

[Kate Simmons]

It's okay and I started out doing that to get in the spirit of things but nowadays I simply call and refer to everyone as their name, seems to work better for me.

[Angie G]

Time will come when you all yourself a girl and like it I do for my it felt right from the start
Angie

[Michelle 51]

Yes it is a little awkward .It took me a while to say someone looked good when they post picture's but it's a compliment to their femme side not guy to guy.I guess when i'm here on my pc dressed in femme i'm a girl. Justabit

[veronicag48]

I have no problem telling someone they look good. As a matter of fact I haven't seen anyone that isn't attractive or passable. I just can't imagine calling a construction worker friend of mine sister or honey or girlfriend if we were both into CD or knowing I am talking to a guy. But to a certain extent it is roll playing and golly do I love being dressed and one of the "girls"

[jayseedee]

Since I got my computer and have been able to access numerous CD websites
the one thing that I am having a hard time getting used to is referring to and being referred to as sister or girlfriend or any of the other feminine names being used. This seems awkward and I know in time it will come natural to me but for the moment it feels a bit strange.

I know just what you mean! After 50 years of "dressing" it still sounds so false to me when another guy calls me Hun or Sweetie. No-one says you have to answer to anything in particular so just call me James, the bloke in a dress!

[az_azeel]

I have no problem telling someone they look good. As a matter of fact I haven't seen anyone that isn't attractive or passable. I just can't imagine calling a construction worker friend of mine sister or honey or girlfriend if we were both into CD or knowing I am talking to a guy. But to a certain extent it is roll playing and golly do I love being dressed and one of the "girls"

Its all about how you feel... I think we all felt strange the first time we posted
to me it does not bother me if i am called male or female although my name is male, I think over time its something you will get used to.....

Take Care

Az_azeel

[Pamela75s]

I do agree that it does feel a bit akward to post at first, but my female side has gotten so strong, that it feels very good to be able to write my name or be refered to in a feminine way. I am finding that when I am able to dress, I am alot more relaxed and comfortable with myself. This forum does help with that also. In reading your posts, I can relate to so many of everyones comments and know it is just not me.

[Eva Diva]

I feel more awkward seeing a picture of someone in stiletto heels, seamed nylons, garters, a bustier, long black hair, mega fake lashes and scarlet red lips, and calling them "Doug".


I never think of myself in terms of my forum name - I'm just following convention. But if I were to meet with others, it would make more sense to me.

[Jenna1561]

As others have said, it is awkward at first, but I've grown accustomed to it and actually prefer it now. I really enjoy when a SA calls me sweetie or hun.


Jenna

[Toyah]

Its as awkward talking to someone who appears to be female but has a male voice you just get used to it hun

[sandra-leigh]

I am having a hard time getting used to is referring to and being referred to as sister or girlfriend or any of the other feminine names being used.

I don't mind being addressed as "Tess-Leigh" or "Tess"; it can be a bit startling in person, but it's a good enough shorthand for "The feminine expression of ____".

Sister and girlfriend I can live with: I grew up in an era where they were generic inclusive terms.

But "hun" bothers me a bit, especially from people I barely know, especially people I haven't had any personal or private communication with. "sister" and "girlfriend" are impersonal; "hun" to me implies a closer knowledge of the person than anyone here knows me. It's odd enough when my biological sister slips and calls me "hon" (and no, that's nothing to do with my dressing, which she doesn't know about; on the odd occasion, when she gets distracted trying to deal with multiple conversations, she has a momentary pronoun lapse.)
The issue is compounded because "hun" and "honey" have some negative associations, such as a male calling a waitress or female staff member "honey".

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Veronica,

I'm kinda confused a little bit because in your forum profile you say "I am a 58 year young female trapped in a man's body and happy to be here." and so I would have thought that if you really were a female trapped in a man's body then it wouldn't feel awkward at all to be referred to as a "she" or a "sister." However, that said, it might be because of who is saying it, and how they are saying to you ... if you know what I mean. (I don't mean to be derogatory to anyone when I say that either) Another thing of course is, if it's all new to you it can feel a bit weird at the beginning.

[Kathryn Philips]

Not only I don't find it awkward, it actually feels right to use my female and to be addresed as a woman. My crossdressing has really taken off ever since I discovered my inner womanhood and the need to give her a name so I could interact with others like me in forums like this. I am not able to dress very often due to my family circumstances but I can participate in forums like these and I feel some of my inner pain can be eased by writing as a woman and being addressed as a woman. I am also a Spanish speaker and that language offers one avantage over English in that when refering to ourselves adjectives and adverbs have gender determined by gender of the speaker/writer. So I am able to communicate in a way that is instrinsically feminine. When I read my words in Spanish as a woman it feels very natural.

[Along4TheRide GG]

I'm a GG / SO / to a CD (sorry... just learning the lingo myself) who is so immune to even noticing it; however, I've been called hun, honey, babe, sweet thing, tavern wench, and some (several) others that are way less flattering....

I don't even think twice about it. There was never an alternative.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN AN AMERICAN PRESIDENT... Michael Douglas, Annette Benning...

He makes that comment about the other "First Ladies" not being worried about having sex with their "President" husbands because they weren't when they first met......

I have been reading some of these threads and there is a repetative theme(s)....

- I want to be accepted, validated, embraced....
- I come here for support because I need it (for various reasons)

WELL..... YOU'VE GOT IT. Empathy reigns here. It is a form of solidarity and support that will provide a warm blanket of comfort if you let it.

Once you stop listening for the stairs... the key in the lock.... or shadows over the shoulder......

"But my skin is too big for me".... Said the SAGGY-BAGGY ELEPHANT....

You'll grow into it.... Mostly because here it's safe to grow!

:be: HONEY!

[trannie T]

Although I use the name "Judy" when I'm dressed I am still Tom inside, I don't believe I'm a woman, I'm still a man wearing a dress. As awkward as it is to use a woman's name I think it would be more awkward to use my male name.

[Deborah]

I only wish i were born "Deborah" then it wouldn't be an issue.

[veronicag48]

I didn't that I felt awkward using a female name(I chose Veronica because it felt feminine and sexy) I just meant that being referred to or calling someone else sister, hun or whatever is a bit awkward and will take me awhile to adjust. Especially working in a "hard corp" male environment. Didn't mean to ruffle feathers.

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

In my mind I kind of think of being referred to and reffering to other cross-dressers by feminine terms as part of the culture and lingo of cross-dressing. I mean, yeah, when we're dressed we're still biologically males but we're emulating the female form and persona so on a metaphysical level we 'become' women. As such it's only natural (at least for me and most of the other girls out there) to refer to ourselves and eachoter by feminine means.

...

Holy crap did all of that just come from my mouth? Where'd I get those insights? I don't know if they're any good, but it sure felt good to write like that. I want my Pulitzer! *Pouts* Fine then! Nobel prize for literature! Whaddya mean it's not a book...? Sorry, I could go on like this for hours.

But seriously again, I hope that makes some level of sense to you. That's just how it feels to me when I refer to myself and the other girls on here as girls. I know it can be akward and uncomfortable for some and I guess it's really a matter of preference. It just seems natural to me - almost like second nature - kinda like my cross-dressing in general. It just comes with the greater package that is me.

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

It does feel strange at first that's for sure
The first time a talk to someone and they called me" Barb "
I didn't what to say
Or the first time I said "my dress" I had to laugh
You just it use to it

I can relate completely, Barb but I think my akward stage lasted around 3.5 seconds and wore out before I finished my first post.
I don't know if it's just me but on here and when I'm enfemme it's always been pretty easy for me to refer to myself as a girl.
It's definitely always been easy to say things like 'my dress' because I've had 'em forever (though they weren't always mine...more like 'my sister's dress which I wear more than her').
Sometimes I stop and look at what I'm saying in context and I laugh hysterically, don't get me wrong. I mean, I'm probably among the least likely candidates among men to be a cross-dresser based on appearances alone, so when I say something like 'hey, that's my dress' or '...us girls...' it can be really funny.

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

Its as awkward talking to someone who appears to be female but has a male voice you just get used to it hun

I guess I know what to look forward to at my Tri-Ess meeting next weekend. Oh joy! (Just kidding...I'll probably be using my guy voice too 'cause I can't talk very loud as a woman). It's gonna be an interesting experience calling myself and the other members 'girls' in person. I mean, doing it on a message board/forum thingy (technical term, there) is one thing but I don't know how it will feel to say it out loud.
I spoke to one of the members on the phone and was pretty stunned when she said in a really masculine voice... 'oh, this is Jane!' I nearly jumped out of my skin. I guess I've gotta get used to that - and to calling myself a girl out loud... Hold on, lemme try... Damn that feels good! "When I'm Natasha, I'm a GIRL!" *Tee-hee!*

You raise a great point here, Toyah! I guess I haven't thought about how akward it could be. I've gotta prep myself!