What is it about 'being a guy' that attracts you?

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

Hey guys. This is my first post in the female to male cross-dressing thread and I'm kinda nervous...so bear with me?

I'm just curious... I've been a male to female cross-dresser for most of my life and there's always been a part of me that's liked 'becoming' a woman when I dress, so I guess it's a little hard for me to understand what the big draw is about becoming or dressing as a guy.
I suppose you could turn the tables and ask me the same thing...but I'd really like to know. I am so in the dark when it comes to F to M cross-dressing and I guess mabye there's a part of me that hopes to learn a little about my own manhood (which I've always been uncomfortable with...) from you all out there.

So yeah... What is it about cross-dressing as and 'becoming' a guy that is attractive to you? Please let me know. Sorry if this is a dumb question...

[RevMoonSerpent]

Thanks for getting the courage to give us a post. I'm going to try and answer your question as best I can.

For me dressing in a more masculine way is a way of expressing how I feel as a person. I think of myself as gender queer and not just a cross dresser. So for me, dressing in a more masculine or neutral way is the only way that I can show my real gender identity which is about 85% male to 15% female.

On an even more personal level, to me I always associate the perfect magazine model body and shy dainty behavior with being a woman. For years and in some cases even now when presenting as female I am always conscious of my weight (188 pounds, I'm only giving my true size so people will see that I'm not stick thin and just think I'm fat) and to me I can't feel feminine with a large body. Also in almost all of my relationships I am the dominant party. I am aggressive, controlling and even possessive. Putting on a dress and makeup just doesn't work for me with that combination.
When I'm presenting as a man, I don't feel the constant bother of people measuring me up to be thin and perfect. Plus being aggressive seems to be accepted better coming from a man. So dressing in mens fashion allows me the freedoms to be who I am and not feel bad about it.
It's a long winded answer to your question and as a final note for anyone reading this. The things I have stated above are my own personal opinions. I know almost everyone struggles with if they are thin enough or look pretty but, from what I have been exposed to, you can be heavy as a man and as long as you have good hygiene and are not a complete slob most people seem to accept a mans weight without it being an issue. So I don't want a ton of replies stating that I'm wrong about how people are judged on their looks.

[Laurie909]

It's a long winded answer to your question and as a final note for anyone reading this. The things I have stated above are my own personal opinions.

I think it's a VERY GOOD answer and I understand all the points you made. They make perfect sense to me.

[Abraxas]

I don't really know. For me, it's hard to separate out the reasons. All I know is that I can't be a girl. I'm definitely trans, probably TS even, and I've never been comfortable with being a girl. In fact, I don't remember ever thinking of myself as one.
Probably part of it is that I've always had male role models. People who were very definitely male. I respected them immensely, and wanted to be like them (and be with them, but that's another matter entirely). So if you remove the slight narcissism from the equation (basically, wanting to look like and be like the guys I respected and was attacted to), then hero-worship falls into play there.
I've never really had any female role models (apart from my mum), and never aspired to be anything remotely feminine... I wanted to be sexy in a masculine way-- I wanted to be Johnny Depp/David Bowie sexy... or rock star sexy. But more than that, just wanted to be treated like a guy. And now I am, and it's really liberating and just feels good. When people treat me like a girl, think I'm dainty or need to be protected or whatever, it makes me slighlty ill.
I can't say for sure what the reasons are, but that's just my way of thinking about myself. Hope you find the answers you're looking for.

[John]

Hm... a tricky one, not sure if I can even answer that. To be honist, I don't think I have a choice in the matter. Being a man has as many pros and cons and being a woman, and being TS sometimes seems like all you do is get the cons from both! (joke, I'm just feeling a little hacked off at life at the moment). I think it's just a matter of being me, and that happens to be a guy; you may as well ask my brother what atracts him to being a boy, the answer is the same.

I know that many people (you'reself included, no doubt) enjoy chosing and picking out clothes, taking ages to get reddy, being 'openly' emotional, and playing the 'fairer sex'. And I can see what the atraction of that would be. It's just not who I am. I'm much more comfortable picking the first cleen thing of the flore, geting reddy by making sure my shirts tucked in, drinking beer and being the dominant personalitie.

[Kate Simmons]

Thanks Rev, Abraxas and John. Good insight I'd say for all good reasons. In fact they are some of the very same reasons I enjoy and have enjoyed being a guy. While that may sound strange to some, I've realized, as I've told some of the guys here, that being a guy is a real big part of me just as being a girl is and I've been re-discovering and enjoying those feelings lately. The funny thing is I had no problem with the feminine feelings until I realized something was missing. Sal

[CaptLex]

Hey guys. This is my first post in the female to male cross-dressing thread and I'm kinda nervous...so bear with me?

Welcome, Nathan/Natasha, nothing to be nervous about - we're very friendly. If I'd known you were coming, I would have put out the good rum for you, so just give me a minute to wrestle the cookies away from Kieron and make yourself at home.

I am so in the dark when it comes to F to M cross-dressing and I guess mabye there's a part of me that hopes to learn a little about my own manhood (which I've always been uncomfortable with...) from you all out there.

So yeah... What is it about cross-dressing as and 'becoming' a guy that is attractive to you? Please let me know. Sorry if this is a dumb question...

Nah, not a dumb question - it's a good question, in fact, 'cause many people don't have a clue what we're about and some have a completely wrong idea.

For a lot of us, it's not about the clothes (although we love the clothes), it's about expressing our real identity or at least a part of our identity. Some of us are TS, or men born with the wrong plumbing, and some of us are in between genders and identify, at least partly, as men.

In my case, like Ladymoonserpent (above), I'm mostly male and a little bit female (and that side keeps shrinking). The clothes don't make me feel male - I already do, the clothes make me feel comfortable (I really hate wearing female clothes) and they help me express my real self and show that to the outside world.

I hope our answers help you understand us a little better. If not, feel free to ask some more.

[Felix]

Welcome Hun you are most welcome Yep like a few here I feel that I have two parts to my whole self. I label myself as genderqueer because I have both parts but like Lex and the Rev I feel more masculine and my clothes reflect my psyche. The clothes don't make me what I am they just help me project me 'Felix' the person. I have to admit I feel more confident now that I am being myself. I always felt clumsy some how when in female mode like is this really it? so since I have been dressing I don't feel like this at all. Hope this is of help Hun xx Felix

[Dasein9]

I find questions like this difficult, because I really don't have a point of comparison. There's no way that living more out of the closet really compares to being entirely in it, since that's just a matter of integrity. But I am a guy, so asking me what it's like seems kind of like asking me what it's like looking through my eyes -- how can I know what it's like looking through someone else's?

[Kieron Andrew]

I find questions like this difficult, because I really don't have a point of comparison. There's no way that living more out of the closet really compares to being entirely in it, since that's just a matter of integrity. But I am a guy, so asking me what it's like seems kind of like asking me what it's like looking through my eyes -- how can I know what it's like looking through someone else's?

Im with Das on this, i have nothing to compare it with.....ive always lived my life as a guy, cos that is who am inside

[Adam]

for me i just am a guy so im not attracted to being one i am one

[false_dichotomy]

To be honest... part of the deal for me is that I believe, to a certain extent, that being female makes one a potential victim. It's not something I like to admit, and it makes me wonder sometimes about the "real extent" of my transgender-ness, but it's there and I have to deal with it.

But at the same time... everything about being male strikes me as "right" for myself. It's not any aspect of the "masculine image" I'm attracted to, it's the way it feels to me... as though I should have been doing this my whole life. I don't try especially hard to be stereotypically masculine (even though... at the same time I do. It doesn't really make sense), because that's not how I *feel*. I can wear a dress and still be a man. I can paint my fingernails and still be a man. I can have long hair and still be a man. It's not about "dressing" for me; I have a strong suspicion that once I've been on T long enough to be passable, I am going to be wearing tight pants and shirts again, if not a little make-up or long hair. I don't mind wearing a dress so long as I am a man in a dress. So I think it's obvious that I'm not just trying to look like a guy. I'm only interested in being myself.

[Question Mark]

I like to dress masculinely mostly because people perceive me as male when I dress like that, even if perhaps only subconsciously. If what was perceived as masculine was strappy tanktops and soft jersey skirts, perhaps I would wear those all the time. While I am of the belief that my mind is pretty much androgynous, with some leaning towards male, if I have to make a choice as to how others perceive me I prefer generally to be perceived as male. Thus I dress so that I might be perceived as such.

Every once in a while, like laundry day, I'll crossdress, just to see how good I'd look as a female. But it isn't me, somehow. It's like putting on a costume. And if I'm seen out like that by most people, I feel very self-conscious and start to try and cover myself. In a way, I think dressing femininely is the crossdressing for me.

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

Wow, thanks for all the insights, everyone!

I can understand and realte with a lot of you that you just feel more comfortable or see yourself more as a guy than a girl. It's kinda the same way with me to a point, only in reverse.
I guess there's kinda a 50/50 split when it comes to me. I mean, I generally think of myself in male terms when I'm not cross-dressed, but I have some pretty strong female traits, interests, and desires all the time. I feel like I can live and express those more when I'm cross-dressed (plus wearing women's clothes is so darn comfortable to me...but you are all probably rolling your eyes and thinking 'she's nuts!').
That kinda seems like how it is to many of you - you get to express a part of yourself, or all of yourself even, when you are a man rather than a woman. I hope that makes sense...and I hope I'm not generalizing.

One thing is, I guess I've learned to take my manhood forgranted over the years. Though I am a male I've never really felt like a man. I've always been more soft, more feminine, more passive (unless I'm playing videogames against someone...then I'm loud, impatient, and I curse a lot...). I am attracted to a lot of more feminnine things, too.
So I guess there's a part of me that is curious as to what merits you all see in being a man. You all seem so comfortable with possessing manhood in such a way that I am not. I think that's soooo cool. It's a lil' confusing but cool nonetheless.
I really admire all of you for being able to be who you are and being able to express yourselves openly. I know there's not a lot of F to M cross-dressers out there, so it's gotta be a tough world...but I wouldn't really know...this is all so new to me. I have so much to learn...about cross-dressing and about myself in general.

Anyhow, thanks! Keep the insights flowing! I'm so glad that you are all so accepting of a curious newbie like me here. I still feel kinda timid posting in this forum. I feel...I dunno...out of place. I guess it feels kinda weird meeting GGs who are more manly than I am...it's strange...but it's awesome!

Thanks again, guys! You all rock!

[Suzie S.]

I have to echo what Natasha is saying. It is truly insightful to learn more about you guys here, as I have always been curious. Thanks for sharing a bit about yourselves! I am learning that we are not all that different, and are experiencing a lot of the same feelings. And, thanks to Natasha, for posting this thread, as I was a bit nervous to post in this forum also. to all!

[pocoyo]

Hiya Nathan/Natasha!

Thanks very much for taking time to get to know us and for sharing some stuff about you with us.
Hey don't ever feel shy to post here, you're totally welcome!!

I feel very similar to some bits from each of the guys' posts above.

But I guess my answer is..... I dress as a guy because I am one hehe!
And even if I happened to wear girl clothes I am still a guy really, just... in "girl" clothes.

Btw, I know its sooo confusing, but, we're not actually ggs!
Also most of us are actually more like TS than crossdressers. We're not actually CROSS dressing, because we are guys! So we are just wearing whatever feels comfortable for us.
I like what John said about it's just like asking his brother why he likes being a guy.

I think that a post I put on another thread in the lounge might help explain:

From different planets?
Lol no, we are all from the same place.
There is no such thing as gender really. That's just something society has created. We're all just people. We just happen to have slightly different body parts and hormones. Other than that we're the same hehe.


Other bit:
Hey Lissa, if you don't know much about FtMs then I guess it's normal that you might assume we are gg crossdressers. Don't feel bad that you didn't realise!

Most of us ftms are actually basically transsexual, or very close to it.
(This is because for a female-bodied person to be considered to have (any) gender issues, the issues have to be pretty hardcore, because it is so "normal" for female bodied people to wear traditionally male clothes and have "masculine" traits.)

Yes, as the others said... we are not GG's.

Some ftms don't even like the term "Ftm" because that means going FROM female to male, but lots of ftms don't feel like they were ever female in the 1st place... just male, born with the slightly wrong body. Every single person is different, and many don't mind the very commonly used term at all.
Some though, just tolerate the term out of politeness, and because a lot of (gender-uneducated...e.g most) people think that female-bodied means "female".


We are boys/men! We just happened to have a slightly wrong hormone cocktail, and accidentally grew boobs... which we all hide and most of us are planning to make go away. And a too small penis! (Which yes ... we can/will increase/correct to it's proper size.... lots of different ways of doing this - oh yes to a very good size a gm would be most proud of - but I won't bore/disturb you with all that now )

Oh by the way, the reason we are on a "crossdressing" site is because it seems to be more of a "transgender" site in actuality, with great people! (A range from very lighthearted crossdressers, to people with serious gender issues).
It is awesome to have a forum of likeminded people.... this is a very limited resource for FtMs, so we are very lucky to have a little home here

Thanks for taking an interest!



[SIZE="1"]It does get very tiring keep having to explain ourselves to people, but if it's helpful and does some good then wicked![/SIZE]

Hope that helped!
And feel free to post here any time you want!

[Felix]

Ya always welcome here Hun, Thanx for sharing and getting to know where we come from xx Felix

[bi_weird]

Hah yeah Ace, I can totally connect with a lot of that. My brothers are cool with my boyish-ness but the rest of the family totally misses it. We'll be rough-housing at a family event and my aunts etc. will be like "You be careful with your sister!" Now, I may be the smallest of my siblings, but that's just 'cause we're giants. I'm six foot 145lbs. It's hard to hurt me for all I'm thin. And I've been rough-housing with my brothers my entire life. Since I got boobs, though, it's been an issue, like magically I became made of glass when that happened. Ugh.
And gifts?! Wow yeah I could write a book. For Christmas, Mom gave me four LAVENDER articles of clothing: pj pants and a shirt, a pair of underwear, and a bra. The undergarments were lacy. The pj pants had flowers on them. The shirt was tight (PJS hello?! supposed to be comfy NOT tight). See, I love purple. Mom and my ex have both assumed that it's some sort of girly thing, like pink but I'm one of 'those girls' who dislikes pink just to be different...so they like to get me all sorts of lavender stuff. Gross yuck. I like purple because it's really neat looking and because it's for bisexuals. Nothing at all feminine about it. And then there's the jewelry. For my sixteenth birthday I got a ring (with HEARTS on it), and for Christmas this year a really nice necklace. Now, I treasure them because my parents put a lot of thought into them and really thought I'd like them...but it's hard when my brothers are opening digital cameras and DVDs and I've got a box of something I didn't even really want. I hate feeling so ungrateful, but I don't want girly gifts.
ANYWAY. That's not supposed to be the content of my reply. What attracts me about being a guy. I'm going to focus on things other than what's already been stated, that I feel more comfortable when I'm presenting as less of a girl, because I'm not so much a girl.
A big part of it is the comraderie. I like the way guys interact. Always teasing each other and competing, but in the end it doesn't mean anything if you've won or lost; you'll repeat it again tomorrow and still be friends. And getting bigger than that, military things have always appealed to me, the way guys come together when they have to fight like that. I don't know if it's because they aren't given the opportunity, but girls just don't do that.
I like the simplicity of male society. If you have a problem you come right out and say it. I can't keep track of things in groups of girls - I just don't know how to do it. All that subtlety, I'm lost.
And lets face it, boy clothes are more comfortable. Especially when you're my dimensions as nothing is long enough. I'm wearing girl clothes today and this shirt is just barely long enough to reach my pants even though it's the longest shirt I own. My pants are tight around the thighs and making my legs itch. Then there's the work it takes to look 'girly', makeup and hair stuff and all that. Too much work. My boy clothes are simple and comfortable. All I have to do to look dressy is put on a tie, which takes about a minute. So very much easier.
I think that's about my whole story, at least for tonight...

[Stacy GG]

ANYWAY. That's not supposed to be the content of my reply. What attracts me about being a guy. I'm going to focus on things other than what's already been stated, that I feel more comfortable when I'm presenting as less of a girl, because I'm not so much a girl.
A big part of it is the comraderie. I like the way guys interact. Always teasing each other and competing, but in the end it doesn't mean anything if you've won or lost; you'll repeat it again tomorrow and still be friends. And getting bigger than that, military things have always appealed to me, the way guys come together when they have to fight like that. I don't know if it's because they aren't given the opportunity, but girls just don't do that.
I like the simplicity of male society. If you have a problem you come right out and say it. I can't keep track of things in groups of girls - I just don't know how to do it. All that subtlety, I'm lost.
And lets face it, boy clothes are more comfortable. Especially when you're my dimensions as nothing is long enough. I'm wearing girl clothes today and this shirt is just barely long enough to reach my pants even though it's the longest shirt I own. My pants are tight around the thighs and making my legs itch. Then there's the work it takes to look 'girly', makeup and hair stuff and all that. Too much work. My boy clothes are simple and comfortable. All I have to do to look dressy is put on a tie, which takes about a minute. So very much easier.
I think that's about my whole story, at least for tonight...

Wow, I think you hit it right on the nose.
I would not say I'm FTM but some things that other females do totally bafles me... I noticed tonight at work one of the girls who doesn't like me ( okay I'm pretty sure who it is) decided to staple my run ticket to a box of chips and then tuck the ticket under neath the box. I assume it was a girl because most guys would not be that "sneaky" with how they feel. I would know if a guy had a problem with me. But no girls have to pretend they are okay with you and then do something stupid and underhanded to show they aren't. I do Have to say I'm happy about leaving this job and going to Cheddars. I get to wear a tie and a nice long sleeve blue shirt! One thing I have never understood..why is it if a girl can lift a 5- 10 lb bag guys look at you like WTF ?!? And one of the managers ( a guy ) said something that baffled me...he said that after a girl had used the bathroom (it's unisex) that it had stunk and it totally grossed him out. what are we supposed to do..not go? "it's supposed to smell like potpouri and perfume". okay sorry not trying to intrude on the thread but wanted to toss my out there.

[Wren]

Haha and the Enigma enters..

I live most of my life as a female, and love doing it. Some people might tell me that I'm not a valid Female to Male crossdresser because of this..I disagree.

I guess I when I crossdress it is more like 'becoming' a guy, and when I do..i feel like a boy inside and out. That feeling and concept in itself make it attractive for me. It's like stretching out my limbs, and being able to exercise every aspect of my inner being.

In a not so spiritual way and in a lot more of a narcissistic way.. I get crowded by young girls a lot when I'm in drab, which on the one hand freaks me out A LOT since I am much older than they think I am. And I find myself running for the hills terrified, but I can't say I don't like getting the attention.. I love it.. The fact that they find me hot or cute...is pleasant..AND SCARY! I don't condone this behaviour..

...and on the final note.. I have a gay man fetish... I often thought when I was younger, "..dude.. i like being a heterosexual female..but sometimes I wish I had been a gay male.." and in drab i get to be that gay man within..

re-reading that..it sounds ridiculous..but that's really what it's like for me..not entirely of course, but those are some aspects of it. There's just a lot to people isn't there...

[pocoyo]

.. I get crowded by young girls a lot when I'm in drab, which on the one hand freaks me out A LOT since I am much older than they think I am. And I find myself running for the hills terrified, but I can't say I don't like getting the attention.. I love it.. The fact that they find me hot or cute...is pleasant..AND SCARY! I don't condone this behaviour..

Hehehe I know the feeling.
On the one hand it's really flattering... but on the other hand it's like "I'm 20 something... not 16... I'm not some sort of perv!"

.

Btw it's really cool to meet an actual FtM crossdresser, even though I KNEW they must exist! Nice to meet you hehe.
I've only ever met transexual, or verging on transexual ftm's before. Pretty neat that you live as a female and like it!! but sometimes crossdress as a boy!
Wicked

(Ahh the joy of both genders with no body dysphoria... how wonderful!)

[Edit: Hmmm but then thinking about it... if, when you're a guy your inner being is released and your limbs are stretched (which I really loved your description of and identified with).... are you sure you're NOT a gay man with a lady's body (who enjoy's gender-play)? I have felt very similar to you before. Hmmm. It's a confusing one! :yikes: Oh but then there's the whole "well you know yourself and the truth deep inside" thing. So if you say you're a girl... you're a girl! But it's just interesting what you said about becoming a guy and the comfort and freedom it gives you. But then it also sounds quite similar to some mtfs who are happy being men but crossdress... Hmmmmm now my brain hurts! And there was me thinking I was having a rest from puzzling so hard about gender hehehe.
Sorry... I'm waffling (no change there then!) 'cos I'm in a hurry to get to work. I think you'll get the general idea though hehe ]

[Leah B]

Yeah, Ace, I've seen it happen before. We'll be playing a game of basketball, and a girl will join in. People always play her differently. It's like they're letting her take open Js. And they'll only stop her from driving if they can do so without body contact. I don't know if this irritates her, but it's irritating just to be around. It's like they're playing against a child. And even then, sometimes people will play harder against young boys, especially if they're good (I played this kid who KNEW he had more energy than me. He just ran around all over the place and wore me down until he just get open at will. Tricky little *******).

Last time I was playing a girl, I got right up on her. Gave her the same hand and arm checks I'd give a guy, and it's a good thing too. She could make open shots all day if you let her. She didn't seem to mind. The other guys didn't seem to mind.

How do people react when you tell them to play you like you'd play a dude? Do they say they will but don't? Do they act funny?

Sportiness is one of my favorite things about being a guy. I envy all kinds of girl stuff, but I don't think I'll ever want to play team sports en femme. Maybe if I was into gymnastics or figure skating. Those suck much worse for guys.

[sparro]

I look more attractive as a boy *shrug* Honestly, my frame is square like and bulky, I'm slightly too tall to be a lady, and aside from my little red lips (damn them!) I feel fairly comfortable dressed as a man, acting as a man, and being precieved by others as male (it really feels more....fun?).

I just feel more comfortable this way.. everything fits right...it's kind of a hard feeling to describe, but I'm sure a lot of people here would understand.

The funny thing is, though, if I were to actually be male, I think my female side would be coming out a lot more (ie: I'm the eternal crossdresser. Woo)

[Wren]

... are you sure you're NOT a gay man with a lady's body (who enjoy's gender-play)? I have felt very similar to you before. Hmmm. It's a confusing one! Oh but then there's the whole "well you know yourself and the truth deep inside" thing.

haha..who knows. I'm not one to rule out the possibilities.

For now though, I have put some thought into it, and I'm too comfortable with the way that I indentify to consider myself trapped in a woman's body. Being a girl feels natural, it feels just as right as everything else feels, but it really does feel like my default setting.

hope that answers your question

[pocoyo]

*moseys back into the thread*

The funny thing is, though, if I were to actually be male, I think my female side would be coming out a lot more (ie: I'm the eternal crossdresser. Woo)

Hehe me too!
I often feel like I am actually a mtf occasional crossdresser, who's happy being male, yet enjoys sometimes dressing to be feminine, but who happened to be born with a female body hehe (much to Kieron's puzzlement hehehe).

hope that answers your question

Yeah it does!!
Awww I'm so glad for you that you feel completely happy/comfortable with the body you have, that's so flippin' awesome

*wanders back off smiling*