Do you goto counseling

[micheal]

OK after reading "on the GG side" thread and seeing something about counseling ,i just had to find out how we all deal with the isues that cding throws up.

Something iv been very concerned about lately is if i have a split personality.

split personality

noun
a relatively rare dissociative disorder in which the usual integrity of the personality breaks down and two or more independent personalities emerge

Iv been chating with a new friend hear.
We'v been haveing a bit of a giggle about how our fem side's like something that our male side's dont.

I think it could help explain just why we have such hard times telling people.

When i think split personality the 1st thing that comes to mind is the odd film where someone has a seconde personality that gos out killing people & there main personae dosnt even know.
Its no where near that bad as we are at least awear of our second personality and are often working in some way to combine them.
Funnily enough it seams to me at this point ,when we are at our most vulnerable ,things go hideously wrong.

Maybe i should break into a storie to show just what i mean.
This is going to sound so familiar to some as i remember seeing things from GG's in the past along the lines of "he told me but why wont he share with me".

OK where to start.
I must have been about 3-5 years into my cding life & was in the middle of secondary school (for 11-16 yearolds).
I had been hideing my cding & i would say creating my second personae.
This combined with normal school life and some medical isues lead to me missing more and more school.
Was no way i was doing PE with shaved legs !

Well this must have been starting to get to my mum as she decided to come home for lunch one day.
So i did the mad dash thing desperately trying to clean up and hide.
Affter trying to hide everything i had spread about i dived into bed and tryed to look asleap !
Id ended up leaving something in the middle of my room that she noticed and tryed to chat to me (in a very comforting way) but i done the not intrested asleap tenager thing.
She tryed doing a few other things at times to get me to chat about it (she was great).

I even remember geting draged to a counselor once.
The counselor arsked if i had anything i wanted to talk about & i said no
Then the counselor and my mum had a long private chat .
Still dont have a clue if that was for missing to much school or geting caught.

If i was arsked why i didnt want to talk to them now i would have to say.
I was in the middle of creating my seconde personae due to my male side shunning my femy side.
I really truely hated my fem side at that point and would have done anything to have goten ride of her.
My femy self on the other hand was loveing the chance to finally express her self.

Somehow i never did have that conversation with my mum and feel now like i might have nailed a door shut.
Recently she has signed for the odd package that had subtle identifying female markings.
Im hopeing shes just given up trying to get it out of me and that is not a ,i dont really want to know what you get upto when im not about thing.



So theres got to be a fair few ladys hear that have been to counseling.
Has the tearm split personalities ever come up ? or am i just makeing excuses for being to cowadly to chat to my mum and over thinking things again ?

[Shelly R]

No, not about split personalities, that's way too harsh a description to use. Though it certainly seems like it.

This is about who you are inside, and how you feel about yourself. How you come to terms with yourself. To war with yourself is counter productive. We are all stronger as one, not divided as two individual parts, it basically only weakens us. Sounds to me you are on a road to self discovery, just take it slow.
It's hard to come out to family, there is a lot of fear there. The possible loss of a love one, family, rejection. You have your own fears that that keep you hidden from the rest of the world, that's why we call it a closet. You know the best thing about closed doors? ....They can always be opened! Nothing is forever.

There is a lot of information at this forum, most all of it good! Just use the search to look up information about what you want. There is more similar situations to you, than you would expect! Take the time to read the threads, and the posts. Really explore this forum. You'll find you are not much different from anyone here.

And yes, a good Gender Therapsit might help!

Hopes this helps!

[kerrianna]

Micheal, you need to make the poll more than one choice. The only thing I DON'T do is chat to friends in real life. And that I may do down the road.

As far as split personality, it's funny it may seem that way sometimes, but I think it more methods we develop to handle feelings inside us. Sometimes it's easier to think of our male and female sides as seperate. Society tends to want to make us choose sides, which causes a lot of TG people heartache I know. We are complex creatures, and sometimes the simplification we and society does just makes us feel like something's wrong.

If you are experiencing wild shifts in moods and personality that are interfering with your life then I would recommend you see someone. But keep your mind open. Not every therapist will be correct in their assesment. Keep exploring and learning.

And don't give up on telling your mom. Sounds like she knows a lot more than you think. She's probably just waiting for you to feel comfortable talking about it. Whenever you're ready, go for it.

[Fab Karen]

Rent the movie "Sybil" & you can see what real split personality disorder is.

There's only one me.

[DAVIDA]

If I had as split personality, could I wear two size 12s instead of one 24?

[Tina Dixon]

This place is my drug for what ever problems I might have.

[Phyliss]

Never having been one to "go see somebody, about,.....". I decided that since I had "The Talk" with my wife last Aug. I should at least show some attempt to "do something about IT" Not that I expected I'd be "cured" (heaven forbid) but since wife isn't too keen on the idea of my CDing, I figured that if I was doing something I could continue with my dressing. I don't know if I'm getting anything out of it or not, but at least I have a place where I can openly talk without any judgement. The particular person I'm seeing does have experience with "gender issues", so that does help.
"Split personality"? I think not, however, I do kinda like this "other side of myself". Just wish this "other side" wasn't such a clothes horse. I'm going broke feeding that habit.

[Karren H]

Solutions..... And I didn't vote because there wasn't ...... I don't have problems or I don't need counseling (well not for crossdressing)

I can't see how going to someone to try to figure out why I crossdress would help because if I knew, or if anyone knew, it wouldn't change a thing in my life.. I'd still love to crossdress... So its not worth the time and effort and expense to persue... Does not add shareholder value....

So yes I have problems..... Does this dress make me look fat..... Run in my stockings and makeup disasters are the worst!! Hehe



Love Karren

[MJ]

and how about all the above . and cd 'ing is not about a split personality it more how we feel i don't think with two minds just the one and makeup ,skirts, heels or "wow that outfit looks great " is on my mind

[Robertacd]

You forgot "I accept myself and/or do not feel any need for counceling".

[Sally24]

A multiple select option would be nice because I do 3 out of the 4!

Professional Counselor? I've gone to a gender counselor 3 or 4 times in the last year. She helped me and my wife understand some things, and confirmed what I thought I knew about myself. The gain here is that many TS delude themselves for years that they are only a CD. I wanted to make sure I was not one of those people. She also helped us set some bounderies so that we can both be happy with my CDing.

Chat to friends in real life. The only friends I have that know are all TG. When I get together with them, usually once a month, then we talk about virtually everything! It is great to be able to talk with someone who is similar, but has different issues too! I have a CD friend who just got married, and another close friend is on the fast track to full transition (just went full time) so there are alot of differences in the group. We can talk from the mundane (bills and jobs) to the frivolous (makeup and shoes). Real time people are nice because you can expereince their presentation and compare it to yours. I pick up tips and get feedback on how well I am doing. Then there is just the comraderie of being out with like minded friends. We have such a good time and it lifts my spirits for at least a week afterwards.

Chat online This is not as benificial as face to face, but is always available. I have friends all over the country so these are people I couldn't interact with any other way. I spend much more time on the computer than I used to and sometimes that is a worry. But I do temper that with the fact that it is not the only activity that I get involved in. It's great that any time I day, I can find someone to talk to!

Read and deal! Well I do read alot online, but I don't try to deal with everything on my own. My wife gives me tremendous support as do my TG friends. Then there all my online people that I may never meet in real life. You all have made it possible for me to gain confidence and go out into the real world. That is what I live for! I'm to the point now that, when I want to, I can go anywhere I want as Sally. That is such a huge gain over my original expectations from 2 or 3 years ago when I started! I know that is not everyones situation, I wish it was.

Anyone who is trying to go it on your own LISTEN UP!!! You don't have to! There are so many people like you or willing to help, just ask!! The worst thing you can do, regardless of where you are in your life, is to suppress this and not deal in a realistic way. Give others a chance to at least help you help yourself. I couldn't have come this far without many, many people helping, and I consider myself a very strong, independant person.

[Ruth]

Well I'm seeing a counselor and I feel one advantage is that some of the wackier ideas get knocked on the head. It's not something you'll get cured of. It doesn't involve split personalities. Nobody really knows what it is, but the important part is how you deal with it. It can be a very positive thing in your life if you handle it right.

[EmmaJane TS]

Hiya Michelle,

Well I agree with the other girls that have already posted a reply in that I would have answered "I'm happy with who "we" are and "we" don't need councilling (sorry that's evil but I couldn't resist it ). I went with option 3 in the poll as this is the thing I do most and is closest fit from the answers available.

See you around babes,

Emma.

[Jasmine Ellis]

my wife is the only one in my family who knows well out side my family is all of you in here

[Stephanie H]

I believe what the medical field percieves a split personality to be is where you have more than one soul or person living in your body.

So... that said I would say that transgendered, crossdresser or Homosexual, heterosexual, whatever are states a mind is in. That is a singular "mind" not plural "minds" which is what I think split personalities are reffering too.

When I go to my therapist and Psychiatrist they do ask me often do I hear voices. LOL
I think thats all routine as they asked that before I said a thing about being transgendered. First I went to the therapist because I was worried about how physically sick I was and that I believed depression was the cause.

Now I came out a month ago as I have come to accept what I am, I am still in the closet with the immediate people i am in contact every day but it was a refief to finally tell some one about my troubles of couping with transgenderism.

I am currently seeking hormone replacement therapy or a.k.a. HRT.

I am going further than I should about details, LOL.

I hope I answered helped you to find an answer to this question.

[Stephanie H]

I see most just read about it and self medicate and self therapy.

Its great to research but I strongly suggest to not hold stuff in and its a refief to get things off your chest.

Growing up male I learned not to show feelings as that is weakness and I think now I think its the biggest weakness a male has.

It's ok to be weak silly share emotions and be devilish

A new revolution is starting.

We had womans rights some 30 years ago. Now they can wear pants!

Now its mens turn for rights, the right to be feminine. Wear a skirt if you want to or be a girl if thats what you feel you are.

[Lanore]

No vote here. Being me is not a problem. When you accept who you are, everything else seems to just work out.

Lanore

[JacquiUKTV]

Hi Micheal !
On the topic of "split personality".....this is something I wonder about too. Too much perhaps....by all means look within ourselves to try and understand what makes us "tick"; but surely too much introspection can be harmful? That's how it seems for me at any rate.
How does this idea grab you? Those of us that feel embarrassed, maybe secretly ashamed of our need....do we like to think of it as belonging to "someone else"...as if to say "It's all HER fault, making me do this".
A neat way to off-load responsibility for something we (perhaps at our deepest level) feel, for example..... due to up-bringing, the attitude of much of the world-at-large etc., to be "wrong" ?
It seems that way for me sometimes.

On a different note (if allowed)....nice Les Paul. Orig. PUs with covers off or replacements, Seymour Duncan or sim.?

Be Well Hun.....Luv, J.

[SandyR]

I watch the kids at my Daughters High School with baggy pants, underwear showing, purple hair, nose piercings, and I think "all I do is shave my legs and wear womens cloths". I have have problems, we all do, but I really don't think one of them is crossdressing.

Happy with who I am.

Hugs...

SandyR

[trannie T]

I do not need to have counselling for my problems regarding crossdressing because I do not have any problems with my life as a crossdresser. I do have problems finding 14W shoes though.

[micheal]

Not to sure how to say this so im just going to blurt it out.
Im dyslexic.
Very happy i posted the definition of split personality now as it will help explain my train of thought on it .
When i saw the 1st post with "that's way too harsh a description to use" i realised just how big an error i had made in understanding it :hangs head in shame:.

I think when i read ,reread and then read the description of it a few more times ,i maneged to miss or just fail to understand the power of the word "independent".
If you remove the word ,the description becomes vague and at lot easyer to go ,oh kack i might have that.
:starts to feel very shy again:
Maybe thats one reason why the tearms not meant to be used in the scientific community anymore.

The main reason for the starting the thread was really to see just how many people out there were doing what i was in the past and not talking things through with anyone.
I really was concearned about the split personality thing too ,so thought id try and make things a bit more intresting (dont like the idear of droping in a random poll and running away).
I think this can show just how important it is to talk to people though as if i was still being shy ,keeping it all to mayself ,i would proberly have not learnt the true meaning of the phrase and had my mind put to ease about it.

That should help explain the oversite of the poll option's a little too.
I feel utterly stupid for missing out "I feel great about myself & dont have any problems with my cding".
The 1st and 2nd options should really be the other way round too.
Was thinking along the lines of as you went from bottom to top ,that the chances of doing the things below would be great.
Im haveing a little giggle now at how it might show some deep fear of counselor's on my part .

I really cant believe how nice youv all been considering how strange what i said was.
Theres a huge amount of wisdom being shared hear for which im greatfull.
I would like to quote some of it and thank every one individual but iv appreciated every post so.


I just hope you can all have a bit of a giggle about this like i am now.

[melissaK]

split personality disorder is called 'dissociative identity disorder.' acronym DID. go read up on it.

it is a close cousin to post traumatic stress disorder. some therapists are of the opinion that the denial of CD/TG/TS feelings can cause emotional truama that accumulates to the point a second self - forms. as the trauma accumulates from ongoing denial, the mind may dissociate events, which is hiding the memories of events from your conscious self. blank spots in memories can be of particular events or span years.

its a defense mechanism. your mind says you are not ready or able to deal with the memory or feelings associated with an event, so the memory is isolated and kept off-limits to your daily conscious self.

sometimes your conscious self keeps encountering events which would trigger recollection of the unpleasant or troubling event. it can be overwhelming, and in some people, as a defense mechanism, a second personality emerges to act in those situations where your conscious personality can not cope.

how much awareness there is between these identities varies. they may know about each other, but not share memories. some memories will be shared. it is rarely two identities that are completely unaware of each other.

other companions to DID are depression and anxiety. all symptoms of poor mental health. mental health in the CD/TG/TS forum centers formost around self acceptance. some of the forum girl's posts show good mental health.

i'm working on mine. and yes, i struggle with DID.

hugs
'lissa

[Felix]

Hi ladies well I don't go to a professional as yet but I deal with things with help from Yachica, my friends here and my close friends in real life xx Felix

[janedoe311]

So the answer is no.

[charlie-50]

heck here i thought we were eachothers counselers besides that i figer if i went to see a counseler or shink he probably find more wrong with than just the cding... ...cp