Female persona, female name (+ some other things)

[MentalMercury]

Hi all, I pretty much just joined on here. Here's some things on my mind.

Everyone here seems to have a female name, female personality, refer to each other as girls, etc. Am I the only one not like that? I don't mean any disrespect but I really like being a typical guy most of the time, just have a little secret is all, haha. I guess I tend to act more like a female when I do get a chance to dress up (but if I did dress up and was referred to as a girl, I would like that). I never go out anywhere but I do like to wear androgynous things when I can get the chance, really depends on the situation.

I'm going to a wild rave soon and depending if I can get my best GG friend to go as support, I might wear a long skirt and something like a fishnet top, some eyeliner, no other makeup, no bra or anything like that, I think I'd be pushing it enough.

Another thing I'm wondering is why more people don't grow out their hair? Theres absolutely nothing wrong with a guy with long hair and it looks much much better than any wig. Maybe it's just me but I can pesonally spot a wig from a mile away.

Thoughts, feelings, advice, etc, go for it. Hope I didn't piss anybody off

[EmmaJane TS]

Everyone here seems to have a female name, female personality, refer to each other as girls, etc. Am I the only one not like that? I don't mean any disrespect but I really like being a typical guy most of the time, just have a little secret is all, haha

Well for me it is just "easier" to access my feminine side through a female personna, this may change over time, but for now it a case of me, myself and I ! I think it also makes it easier if you go out and conform to a pre-defined gender rather than an "in between" look.

Another thing I'm wondering is why more people don't grow out their hair? Theres absolutely nothing wrong with a guy with long hair and it looks much much better than any wig. Maybe it's just me but I can pesonally spot a wig from a mile away.

I'd love to have my own hair (I use to have long hair many years ago), unfortunately nature has left me with a choice of two hair styles neither of which is very feminine, so me for one I'm stuck with a wig .

I do admire your approach to CD'ing and maybe it could be argued that yours in the more honest approach. I just love all aspects of the female gender (from clothes, mannerisims, mindset the whole works) and just love to try and emulate (and hopefully one day perfect) what it means to be a women!

[Opie!]

I feel the same way, I'm not quite comfortable with taking on a girl name or anything like that, even though I'm currently wearing 100% fem clothes at the moment and some terribly applied makeup (still new at this 8*) ). I guess it just comes down to how strongly one feels about their feminin side. I have frequently been called ma'm in public when I'm wearing boy clothes (I've never really gone out in my pretty clothes) and I always thought it was wierd, but at this point I prefer to be referred to with a masculine pronoun...

[Lissa Stevens]

For me my femme name is just how I feel. I may be more TG than some others here. As for the hair my attitude towards longer hair is that the older you get the less attractive long hair is on a person. That is just my opinion although it does seem quite a few GGs see it this way also.

[kerrianna]

Hi M/M, welcome.

This forum is for everyone who crossdresses or is an ally or supporter. You'll find that in fact there are a lot more members here that are like you, they may not be as high profile. We run the range of CDng, from simple dressing pleasure to post-op TS. It's a big, varied, interesting family and we try to be inclusive of everyone.

As to why most of us have adapted female names and refer to each other as girls, (or boys in the FTM section) it's because many of us have the opportunity to do so here in a supportive, like-minded environment. Some people adapt a female personality and others ARE the female personality. Because you don't often know who is who in the zoo it's best to assume that people take their female selves seriously. The ones that don't take it as seriously themselves won't be offended by being called girl (or boy) and being treated as one...the ones that do (TG/TS) WILL be offended if they aren't taken seriously. Hope that makes sense.

You'll find that there are people who share your world view here. Take time to learn more about us and by all means share yourself. Please try not to be judgemental about others though.

As for long hair...I wore my hair long all my life, but I've lost it on top quite a bit so it doesn't work like it used to. Many people here have jobs and careers that preclude wearing long hair. There is nothing like having your own long hair, but not all of us can. You young 'uns... ...I hope you learn lots from being here.

[NewBetty]

Everyone here seems to have a female name, female personality, refer to each other as girls, etc. Am I the only one not like that?

I never go out anywhere but I do like to wear androgynous things when I can get the chance, really depends on the situation.

Another thing I'm wondering is why more people don't grow out their hair? Theres absolutely nothing wrong with a guy with long hair and it looks much much better than any wig.

I never considered havin a femme name before, just needed a handle when I joined and so: New(never really CD'd before 2 mos. ago) Betty (slang for cute hot girl). Kinda gettin into thinking about myself as Betty since I chose it.

I don't go out dressed, and don't do hair/makeup (Yet, anyway) but I'm wearing more undergarments out lately, more tight femme t-shirts,too.

I used to have long hair, and I've just started a new job w/ a pretty cool office environment so I might grow it again. Another thing I've been remembering is years ago when I was in a band I used to dress more androgynous (low cut jeans, baby doll tees, flowing shirts, an electric blue shiny top, scarves, lil' purple velvet jacket) and I'd kinda forgotten about that...at the time I just thought it was, ya know, rock n roll. Always did have a somewhat unconventional attitude about sexual stereotypes, just didnt expect this recent obsessive explosion of dressing.

[Ruth]

I had to laugh at your comment about hair. Oh how I wish I could grow out my hair. There's not much on top any more. Like you said, I'm a regular guy most of the time, and regular guys lose their hair as time goes by.
As regards names, well, there's no point in forcing it. If you feel you need a femme name to express that side, you'll take one.
The thing is to do this just the way you like it. It's supposed to be enjoyable.
Do have fun with it.
Best wishes,
Ruth

[Allie931]

I think its all about the mindset that you get into when your dressed. At least that's how it is for me. Since I'm wearing girls clothes i wanna feel more like a girl ya know?

I agree with what Emma Jane said about it being easier to access my feminine side through a female persona.

Also i think girls names are more pretty sounding =)

[linnea]

I would love to have long hair, but I'm quite bald and have no way to change that. As for my femme name, I really enjoy it. My female persona is fun and by associating it with a name, I can really enjoy thinking about "her" when I'm unable to present Linnea.

[Julie York]

There's probably more people like you on the forum than this 'image' you are thinking of, of lots of semi fem guys all flouncing about 24/7 calling each other Julie and Karon.

I haven't dressed up for months and can't be bothered but I enjoy the forum from a social aspect.

But as all this dressing up business is a bit confusing anyway, there is a general politeness (I can't spell etiquet ettiquette) about keeping the pretence and adopting a name and personal pronouns to match.

It's not so much that people really do believe they are this person or that personality. It's just a convention; a short hand; a way of all speaking the same confused language without offending anyone.

Think of it like going to a Klingon convention and calling someone Kevin when they clearly state on their name badge that they are WarkVaard. It's just being polite and joining in the pretense.

[NewBetty]

It's not so much that people really do believe they are this person or that personality. Think of it like going to a Klingon convention and calling someone Kevin when they clearly state on their name badge that they are WarkVaard. It's just being polite and joining in the pretense.

With 5000 posts I'm sure you'd know better than I. My first impression was that relating to each other by femme name helps some of us to maintain a sort of fantasy life as girls, staying in character sorta.

[Julie York]

With 5000 posts I'm sure you'd know better than I. My first impression was that relating to each other by femme name helps some of us to maintain a sort of fantasy life as girls, staying in character sorta.

Exactly kevin.

[yingyang]

Young person going to a RAVE. When I was your age I took LSD and went anywhere to have fun. I still wear my hair long but I stick out like a sore thumb because it just goes down the back. I'm contemplating getting it cut so a wig will fit better. I guess we do what we have to.
Mary

[Angela E.]

Sorry to break it to you,but you ARE the only one of us not like that!!!!! Just kidding,hey,we`re all different,it`s all good.-Angela. :GE:

[MentalMercury]

Hey I really enjoyed reading all of your responses and getting insight into people's mindsets.

I am young, 21. I don't have a job that I need to cut my hair for, but if/when I do, I'm going to cry, and donate it to locks of love or whatever they're doing so at least someone can enjoy it.

Also, I really got a kick out of NewBetty's response about being in a band. I am in a band too right now, a death metal band, go figure, hahaha. I can only imagine how my bandmates would react if they knew. As for the androgyny bit, I am a fan of the gothic style of dressing, which can be very androgynous as it is for the guys. I have seen CDs in a club I went to before anyway, even though I don't go clubbing often, so there ya go! I am lucky that it's very acceptable in the kinds of places I hang around and people I end up meeting.

[Sheri 4242]

"Well for me it is just "easier" to access my feminine side through a female personna . . . I'd love to have my own hair (I use to have long hair many years ago), unfortunately nature has left me with a choice of two hair styles neither of which is very feminine, so me for one I'm stuck with a wig . . . I do admire your approach to CD'ing and maybe it could be argued that yours in the more honest approach. I just love all aspects of the female gender (from clothes, mannerisims, mindset the whole works) and just love to try and emulate (and hopefully one day perfect) what it means to be a women!

Well said, EmmaJane! I agrre with what you said and the way you explained it!

[Sheri 4242]

"Hey I really enjoyed reading all of your responses and getting insight into people's mindsets."

Mental Mercury,

EmmaJane was on target about everything she talked about!!!

One thing I'd like to add, though: you've got the looks, girl!!! I don't think I have ever commented about another CD's looks, but if the picture that you have with your posts is real and accurate, then gf, wear what you have on to the RAVE. Or, go Goth if that's your style. Whatever you wear, it seems to me that you have a good sense of style and, from what you say, are level-headed. You don't have to have a femme name -- you'll notice some do and some don't -- and some have given you reasons for why they think some have femme names and some don't. The bottom line is to be yourself! (BTW, some of us would grow our hair longer but "time, age, and nature" has made such not an option - LOL!)

[Suzie S.]

As you will see by surfing around this forum, there are so many levels/facets of crossdressing. Some of us, including myself have a very promonent feminine side that goes beyond just dressing in the clothes. It just seemed natural to take on a fem name for me. You are still young, so take it slow and explore where this all takes you. I wish you the best!

[Minerva Morgan]

I believe a concept exists of a third gender; neither fully male nor female, but somewhere in the spectrum between. Those of us raised in an 'either/or, black/white' environment probably tend to be all-male when presenting as male, and prefer to be regarded as all-female when en femme. Hence the necessity of a feminine name in that mode. You may be benefiting from a relaxation of the strictures we faced, and feel comfortable within the spectrum without the enforced dichotomy. If so, the distinctions some cross-dressers make between modes would seem to you unneccesary and artificial. You would appear to be on a voyage of self-discovery most of us can only envy. From your photo, you would appear to be a delightful, young tart. I think many of us would like the opportunity to be a delightful, young tart.

Love

Minerva

[Dixie]

My wife started calling me Dixie when she first started dressing me up, it kinda fits me. I couldn't imagine being called David in the clothes I'm wearing right now

[Gina_darling]

For someone who just likes to the wear the clothes now and again then I suppose a name and persona are unnecessary. However many of us, myself included, feel at least partially like women on the inside (or I suppose don't feel like men since we don't actually know what it feels like to be women!). Anyway to express that feminine part of ourselves I think requires a name and a different outlook. Besides it is such a great feeling when someone treats you like a girl and refers to you as she, ma'am, dear etc. To me it feels "right". I am though like you still happy enough to be a guy sometimes but the escapism of becoming a woman for at least a few hours cannot be beaten.

[MentalMercury]

Hmm let me try and respond to all I can here. I do agree with EmmaJane, I absolutely love women as well. When I see a beautiful girl I think to myself, "I want her" and "I want to be her". Maybe some people got the wrong impression from my first post? I love crossdressing and escaping toward feminity for a while when I can, but 99% of the time I post here, I'm not dressed, and I would feel weird acting like a girl if I wasn't dressed, but I can see how some of you would like to. I'm not judging anyone by any means, we're all in the same boat here, and I'm growing rather fond of this community =) The picture really is me, cropped down and blacked around the edges because I'm paranoid!!! I have a few pics I'm really proud of, and that one is my best so far. I would love to share them all but I just can't risk having them show up where friends could find them. I truely am flattered by the remarks though =D.

Minerva, I found that idea very interesting, I think for me that sort of uncovers some of how I feel about CDing. I do feel like I'm mostly a guy, but there is definately a female side to me, it's quiet and in the background in guy mode, and comes out much more strongly when I'm dressed. I do pride myself in getting away with small girly things as a guy too. As for the rave.. I do not have nearly enough courage to go dressed to that, or anywhere in public, I just don't. If I get the courage, I'll go with my original idea.. long black skirt, my big boots, some kind of guy shirt, eyeliner.

Whew that is quite a heafty post. Hope I don't seem to be beating certain topics to death, but this is helping me understand everyone else's views so much more. And it's worth saying again, I am flattered, thanks so much!

[sandcastle]

For someone who just likes to the wear the clothes now and again then I suppose a name and persona are unnecessary. However many of us, myself included, feel at least partially like women on the inside (or I suppose don't feel like men since we don't actually know what it feels like to be women!). Anyway to express that feminine part of ourselves I think requires a name and a different outlook. Besides it is such a great feeling when someone treats you like a girl and refers to you as she, ma'am, dear etc. To me it feels "right". I am though like you still happy enough to be a guy sometimes but the escapism of becoming a woman for at least a few hours cannot be beaten.

My chances to go en-femme are few, I didn't really have a name until I joined this forum.

I was in a cadet group when I was younger, so growing my hair now is really making up for lost opportunities.

BTW Gina, is that your own hair in your avatar?

Best wishes to all,
Sandra.

[Tamera]

Everyone here seems to have a female name, female personality, refer to each other as girls, etc. Am I the only one not like that? I don't mean any disrespect but I really like being a typical guy most of the time, just have a little secret is all, haha. I guess I tend to act more like a female when I do get a chance to dress up (but if I did dress up and was referred to as a girl, I would like that). I never go out anywhere but I do like to wear androgynous things when I can get the chance, really depends on the situation.

Having a Fem name depends on your degree of crossdressing. The more you go out into the public you won't want to be addressed as Jack, or Bob for instance so you will make a "Fem" name for yourself. And the name will be a matter of Personal choice.

Another thing I'm wondering is why more people don't grow out their hair? Theres absolutely nothing wrong with a guy with long hair and it looks much much better than any wig. Maybe it's just me but I can pesonally spot a wig from a mile away.

I would have long if my job would permit it, but it doesn't so I can't. I used to have long hair when I was in a Rock n' Roll band (I know what using a can of SPRITZ is on hair to get that Motley Crue look). But then having a wig is easy care, "NO DYING THE GREY HAIRS EVERY 3 MONTHS FOR INSTANCE" or other things such as cutting, curling, perms, etc.

I am a low maintanance kinda girl....
LOL
Tamera

[Sally24]

Well, as the other girls have said, there are all types and variations here on this forum. I took a female name early on because my wife and I needed to be able to talk around others that didn't know about the CDing. When she spots a cute top she can say "Do you think Sally would like this?" and it sounds perfectly innocent. And without a female name, if you go out at all, her using my male name accidently would not be comfortable. But, most of all, I just think a female name feels better when I'm dressed and helps complete the mindset. I'm one of those that enjoys my male self well enough, but I'm probably like 60% female on the scale.

On the hair thing, I too don't quite have enough natural hair at this stage to make it work well. Then there is the fact that long hair kind of annoys me. I enjoy it all the time I'm dressing, but full time long hair would be too much for me. Also, alot of care versus 2 minutes of toweling and combing.

Enjoy yourself here and ask all kinds of questions. You'll get some grumpy responses but most people are pretty forthcoming here!