Issues/Thoughts - Do cd'ers want to be women?

[Cheyenne]

Is there a correlation between just wearing womens clothing and actually wanting to imitate being a women? Do cd'ers want to be women? I feel its one thing to wear womens clothing and another thing to act like a women and using make-up, curlers, etc. I guess I am kinda lost over the whole thing anymore. I have been thinking about purging lately. Has there been any thoughts on getting a sex change amongst y'all? From reading your many fine postings, I just get the impression you would rather be a woman.

[Karren H]

Nope don't want to be a woman.... never did.... happy being a guy, most of the time and a girl when ever I can fit her in.....

Best of Both Genders!!

Karren

[Dixie]

[SIZE="3"]I guess for me it is mood dependent. I go through phases where I want to grow real breasts ( A "D" instead of my "A") and have a vagina and experience all the sexual fanatsies I can dream up as a woman. Other times I'm happy being a campy dragqueen, and other times still that I want to be a man that is completely convicing as a woman. Last but not least there are times when I want to be all male HeeHeeHee, but that is not today, once the kids are at school I am dressing up like a **** and cleaning the house. [/SIZE]

[Toyah]

I am with Karren on this dont want to be a woman but every so often like to look like one as best I can.
To be a woman would mean having to deal with randy blokes as well and that would be really bad

[susants]

i would rather be a woman
i'm in my 40's may not have to deal with many randy blokes hehehe

[Cheyenne]

I find interesting the behaviours associated with some cd'ers. Some just dress to dress, some dress and choose to do "womens work" (no offense to GG's) while dressed, some are get thrills by being caught or going out in public, some feel the need to wear pantyhose or dresses even though many women wear jeans and hate pantyhose, there are so many things.

[Stephenie S]

You will find that not many in this section of the forum will admit to wanting to become a woman except as an occasional fantasy. Most CDers seem to want to CD only and not give up the male role they have grown up with on a permanent basis. Karren is a good example. She finds joy in both worlds.

There is another section of this forum dedicated to people who consider themselves transexual. Spend some time and explore both sections. We are a very diverse and varied group of people united by our acceptance and support of each other.

Stephenie

[Robin Leigh]

I have lots of "feminine" feelings, but I know I can't really be a woman. But I do love to pretend. I know I'm only acting, but it's still fun.

I also enjoy going outside when dressed up. If you want to have any hope of passing, you have to act feminine. And that takes practice, and being in the right mood, just like any acting job.

Sometimes, I fantasize about going full-time (without srs), but I know it's just pure fantasy. I was strolling around en femme in the late afternoon a few weeks ago, feeling good & fairly confident, when all of a sudden I had an attack of "I'm a Bloke in a Dress". I felt like I wasn't passing at all, and what the hell was I doing??? It was a nervous walk back home...

I had to take a bit of a break after that.

Robin

[suchacutie]

To me, Tina is an exploration of a piece of me that, we have discovered, is, for want of a better term, feminine. Maybe it's my shortcoming that the part of me that we call Tina can't be explored in male mode, or drab. It just seems so correct to push the envelop as hard as possible where Tina is concerned, and that mean putting aside as much maleness as possible to let Tina shine through. There is something to be said for the idea, "When in Rome....". It has been helpful for Tina to understand her femininity by putting herself as much as possible into that genre...akin to total emersion learning. The process of living as a man helps mold our male thinking, does it not? Thus, it seems logical that to understand one's femininity, it necessary to walk in "her" shoes...literally!

just my

tina

[joann07]

I find interesting the behaviours associated with some cd'ers. Some just dress to dress, some dress and choose to do "womens work" (no offense to GG's) while dressed, some are get thrills by being caught or going out in public, some feel the need to wear pantyhose or dresses even though many women wear jeans and hate pantyhose, there are so many things.

To me, I'm in the "...some feel the need to wear pantyhose or dresses even though many women wear jeans and hate pantyhose...." category that Cheyenne mentioned.
I like to dress up and look at myself in the mirror, but have no desire to be a woman. Somehow, being in femme makes me feel great and less stressed.
I'm just a totally different person in femme.
I just wish Joann was a real GG, as well as a girlfriend, because I suck when it comes to meeting and asking out women. Somehow, I just seem to screw up what could be a potential SO, GF, or wife.

[Mitch23]

Is there a correlation between just wearing womens clothing and actually wanting to imitate being a women? Do cd'ers want to be women? I feel its one thing to wear womens clothing and another thing to act like a women and using make-up, curlers, etc. I guess I am kinda lost over the whole thing anymore. I have been thinking about purging lately. Has there been any thoughts on getting a sex change amongst y'all? From reading your many fine postings, I just get the impression you would rather be a woman.

too hard being a woman for me - period pain. PMT, having o multitask, do all the work while your partner blobs in front of the telly, not being able to have a sicky, not being able to like sport

I'm a guy with a feminine side - i adore girls and all things girlie and when im dressed i can get a feel for their world. when i'm dressed i want to be 100% woman to the best of my ability. mitch is smart, shy but confident. When I'm not dressed I don't but i can still relate to girls in a girlie way. i'm sure that makes no sense at all!!!

mitch

[Deborah]

Yes i'd rather have been born a female and i'd gladly take everything that goes with it.

[vbcdgrl]

Hi, Cheyenne. I don't want to "be" a woman, but I do enjoy "imitating" one as much as I can, part time. I like my guy side too, and, after all, that's where my "real" life is. I would not consider doing hormones or any surgical changes to my body. To me, being a CDer is the fun part. There's a lot of stuff about "being a woman" that isn't so much fun.

Vikki

[christina marie]

take two people from different walks of life, let them witness any event,then ask them what they saw. think it'll be exactly the same? no one story fits us all. seems to be more about the journey than the destination.at least for me that is.i have been from one end of the emotional spectrum to the other and back again a dozen times in my life, and it seems that as i mature, it is more than anything, about being true to myself, and being comfortable with whoever i may feel like at that particular moment. I just happen to be lucky enough to enjoy aspects of both genders! I have always been proud to be a dingy blonde!

[KimberlyS]

I am just a guy in a skirt here. I am a male person that happens to have both male and female traits, characteristics, and physical features. The only reason I wear makeup and wig when I go out is to conceal my male identity to protect my family and job. When I go out in public en femme my goal is to blend and just enjoy my time out, not to "Pass". Even dressed in my most feminine girly clothes, I just feel like my male self.

We are all different, have different needs, looks, feelings, wants, goals and objectives to our CDing. Just be who you are and no one else can tell you what that is. Who you are comes from with-in, not from being like someone else.

[Holly]

Cheyenne, I can only speak for myself. I've known for a long time that there was something "more" to my life than what my male self had encountered. Maybe it was the way I was raised to believe that women are to be cherished and respected.

I've had moderate success in my life. I've been with the same employer for over 20 years, president of my local union multiple times, well respected in my profession, lived in the same town for over 30 years, been married to the same woman (who is absolutely terrific, by the way) for nearly 40 years, have fathered 3 wonderful children, and in general been happy.

But I have always thought that there was something missing. What would it be like to be the object of desire? What would it be like to be cherished and respected the way I had been taught to show women? And the feelings that are more usually ascribed to women... sensitivity, tenderness, nurturing, the freedom to express joy and sorrow without the fear of ridicule... oh how I wanted to be able to cry without being made fun of. As a man, these things have been denied me, and I freely admit that I could be as responsible as anyone else in these restrictions in my behaviour. But women have never had to ask for permission to express their emotions and I have mostly had to be the one to be strong, to be the rock so to speak.

When I dress, I get to put aside my daily responsibilities for a time, and explore all the things my heart desires to explore. I get to be pampered and to pamper myself for a time. I can let go of the restrictions I feel I live with on a daily basis, self-imposed or otherwise. I can appreciate first hand the frustration my lovely wife goes through when the hair doesn't lay just right or the eyeliner looks off. I understand better now all that she goes through to make me proud of her (and she is an over-achiever).

To answer your original question,

Is there a correlation between just wearing womens clothing and actually wanting to imitate being a women?

Heck, I don't know. But I would say that, for me, there is a correlation between wearing women's clothing and becoming a complete person; strong and sensitive, personally and professionally successful, nurturing and driven.

[KimberlyS]

I agree with Christina, life is a Journey with many different crossing paths. The exact path each of us takes is different.

Life is a Journey. A journey down many different paths with many crossings and stops along the way. The total life journey is one of a kind. It is you.

Death is a Destination.

[Kate Simmons]

Do I want to be a woman? Not the last time I checked, Hon. I may be crazy but I'm not that crazy. Although anything is possible , I guess.

[MarinaTwelve200]

Is there a correlation between just wearing womens clothing and actually wanting to imitate being a women? Do cd'ers want to be women? I feel its one thing to wear womens clothing and another thing to act like a women and using make-up, curlers, etc. I guess I am kinda lost over the whole thing anymore. I have been thinking about purging lately. Has there been any thoughts on getting a sex change amongst y'all? From reading your many fine postings, I just get the impression you would rather be a woman.

Remember CDing is but a "symptom " or outward manefestation of several DIFFERENT mental conditions or attitudes. To assume if CDers want to be women is as nonsensical as assuming everyone who coughs has pneumonia. There are lots of reasons for coughing too. CDing , like coughing, are mere symptoms or outgrowths of something else. You dont call people "coughers" do you? No, you focus on WHY the person coughs.

Yes some people who CD DO want to become women. These are called transsexuals, But like coughs and pneumonia, not all people CD for the same reason. AN escapist CD, Cds to get away from himself for a while, a thrill seeker CD gets off on the psychological/sexual/or social feedback high, A fem sider wants to get in touch with one's fem side, and so on. etc. No generalizations can be made about people who CD, any more than a single cause for a cough.

[rose382832]

no way no how!!!!! but i would not mind being able to look a little more feminine when i dresss. still very happy sexualy with my loving wife.

[Lisa Golightly]

I used to think about it, but then I've been hormonally challenged since my teens... These days it seems irrelevent to me... The way I live and the things I wear are my choices and not the simple right of the mere whim of socio biological sexing.

[Ruth]

Well Cheyenne you said it yourself, there are so many things. CDing is what brings us together but there are many routes to CDing and many ways forward (or not).
What I do when CDing is to express my feminine side. I do that as a man and I can't imagine what the situation would be if I was a woman. Would I be CDing the opposite way to express my male side?
Still, I think I'll carry on as I am.

[Fab Karen]

No, I enjoy being a girl part-time. I enjoy both sides ( which is really just variations of one person, either mode I'm ME, the only difference is the appearance & some more feminine physical mannerisms ), it's great to have the choice.

[Teresa Amina]

Guilty! I know it's not where most of y'all come from but even I didn't think that was what it was about at one time, then realised that is the root desire. Where is that Gender Fairy?

[dl_pink_pink]

I don't wish to be anything, I wish for the absence of gender and the demolition of gender discipline.
Whatever I like, I like. I may love beer but that is often a (masculine thing) I love "girly" drinks too. I love horror and "chick" flicks
The main thing is that there is no limitation to what I be, I wish to be genderless