False Impressions?

[SherriePall]

Yes, there are some stories here that are pure BS, but I think the majority of us recognize them for what they are.
As for me, I have been out maybe a half dozen times in the daylight (never at night). I dress away from home (about 12 miles away) and only go to what I consider safe locations.
Oddly, it has never been a problem walking out the door dressed. My only problem is remembering to stand up straight.

[katia]

I was not going to reply to this thread for a very good reason, "no one likes a baddy" but i feel like i have to now.
Yes it might be easy to go out but in some case`s it can have a bigger effect on your life than you think, i have lived through the hell it can cause i thought it would be fine may be get a bit of flack, but i was unprepared for what was to happen, not just to me but to my family also ,i have been attacked had constant verbal abuse my kids have been bullied at school and my house has been attacked , i am very clad that i seem to be the only one who has suffered in this way and i am not trying to put anyone off going out , i think it depends a great deal on where you live , but i only done this to remind you that it is not always going to be easy, i am sorry i had to write this ,

Hi joanne
I live not that far away from you and thanks for reminding us to take care,i made a mistake a year or so ago and sold some stuff on ebay,forms,boots but also sold something which one of my neighbours saw parked out side my house.
I did get a few snide remarks about you have to watch the quite ones and selling your dresses,i told him that if he wants to see me in a dress he will have to rely on his imagination as it would only be in his dreams or fantasys.
My dessing is a secret and like you said if i got caught i would be prepared for a bit of flack but i didn't think any further ahead than that until now.
katia

[LindaTS]

I think I know what you're saying Emma. As for me, I go out quite often, always during the day to do my shopping. For some reason nothing exciting ever happens to me so I must be doing something wrong. Like most of us I've been read a couple of times but even that never caused any problems. I guess I just need to keep trying and SOMETHING will happen to me.

[Emily Ann Brown]

Better late than never I hope (never on weekends).....My first couple of times out were "nerves" city.....I shook like a leaf. Then I got more comfortable, and then I sorta got "oh what the..." about people reading me. Last time out was to a club and I was totally relaxed and had a blast.

I have only adult children in other cities, and a soon-to-be ex-wife. I have nobody to please but me. I will agree with those that are concerned over what the risks might be to their family. Going out can come with costs sometimes. In my case I really can't see any ( unless I run into my ex in the ladies room, and THAT will get ugly! ).


Emily Ann

[Stephenie S]

My point was never to say that we won't get "read", only a fool would think they could pass 100% of the time with everyone. I only meant to say that if you dress and act appropriately, it really doesn't matter. Most people just don't care.

And, as was said by someone above, the saddest words ever spoken are, "If only I had." Please don't get to the end of your life and have to say anything like that. We only get to go around once.

99.9% of the people I see and react with when I am out return my smile or engage me in friendly conversation. Do some figure out I'm a guy? Of course they do! But by then, they are committed. They have already been "friendly". It's too late for them to act like a jerk.

Last week, when I was early for my electrololysis session, I was sitting on the floor outside her studio for about 1/2 hour. Perhaps 30-40 people passed by in and out of the building. Two young men went by and stared and when they got outside, I could see and hear them just break up! They thought it was so funny! I just made their day! Well, if that's the worst that happens, where is the harm?

Going out dressed IS easy. You just do it. Is there stress and tension? Of course. I still find myself tense and uncomfortable occasionally. But you know, GGs feel tense and uncomfortable occasionally too. Men stare, and whistle, and make rude remarks all the time. Welcome to the world of women. But you will get over it, sweetie. And the rewards are so great. You DID it! And every time it gets easier and easier. Until one day you find yourself just heading out, being yourself, at one with the world, saying, "So, what was the big deal, anyway?"

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Robin Leigh]

Yes, it can be hazardous going outside en femme in some locations. Every city has its rough areas where macho young men can make life unpleasant or dangerous for the CD/TG person. There are little country towns where everybody knows everbody else's business. And there are plenty of regions where the population has a high proportion of good old-fashioned rednecks.

So, don't CD in such places! If you live in a little town, go to another town for your CDing adventures.

When I was younger, I often lived in the rougher parts of inner Sydney. I got verbal abuse a few times, and was chased or followed several times. Still, nothing bad really happened. And besides, I've had smart-ass comments yelled at me from passing cars when in guy mode anyway. If I'm going to be abused for not being sufficiently masculine, I might as well go all the way.

These days, the worst I get is the occasional stare. I know I don't pass up close, but I'm getting pretty good at failing to be read. As others have said, confidence is the key. But that confidence should be realistic.



Robin

[vbcdgrl]

I can't speak for the other part-time CDers, but I do got out shopping or running errands quite often, en femme. Since I am single, I don't have to make any excuses or sneak around, so there's no apprension or guilt involved. When I get out there, among the public, I really enjoy the experience. I have never had a bad experience, either I pass well enough that people don't pay undue attention, or I don't and they don't care. I really don't care either.
Today (Mon.), I went to do some shopping at Mervyn's, en femme. They really do have some cute things. I bought a skirt and 3 tops. I really can't say whether the SA made me or not, but she was very nice to me and we wished each other a nice day. I used my debit card, so no ID required. When I got home and tried on my new purchases, one of the tops didn't fit. I decided to return it and exchange for another. The same SA helped me, again no problem. This time, since it was later, there were a whole bunch of GG shoppers in there. No one gave me a second glance.
Personally, I think all of you who want to go out, but are too scared to set foot out the door, are missing out on the best part of CDing.

Vikki

[michelleupnorth]

Going out is scary as hell. Since I don't pass as a woman and I know that the only pplace I am comfortable going out is in a big city like Toronto. I have gone out here where I live and nobody has said anything to me just looks. My biggest fear is running into someone i know here. So yes it isn't that easy, it takes all I got to go out dressed. I can tell you that once I am out after a while I relax a lot more and get this I don't give a attitude.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I for one take everything that i read here as gospel, do you mean to say it just might not be? Well for real I do not have any problems going out en-femm, well let me revise that, I do have to be careful leaving the house or my home area since I am not out to anyone other than my wife. I don't worry one bit about anything outside of that though and i have never been one to seat the small stuff in life so when i relate an experience it is pretty much factual give or take 100%, just kidding. I do hope that people here take everything that helps them and then the rest of the stuff they can file away as Huh, Huh information. Nothing in life is black and white except death, tax's and crossdressing!!!!

[KimberlyS]

Emma, that is a very valid question. I understand your thoughts and concerns. Most of us have been there and still are. I would say most of the outing stories here are a true account of how we see our outings. And in most cases similar to how you would see it also if you were along. But that being said, my guess if we were to give you all of the back ground and past outings we have already been on. Told you of the prep work that was done prior to the outing, the planning, the pre-site outings, all of the feelings and thoughts that were going on, and much more the outing may be more believable for you. But than for many of the outings we would need a novel set of books for you to read.

So if it sounds easy, in most cases I would say you are missing a lot of information and just getting a very small view of what happened, has happened in the past, what was felt, and what was done, prior, during and after the outing.

I also think a lot has to do with the level of personal acceptance the person on the outing has, their relationship and family status. Where they live and where the outing is at. Along with where the CDer is at on the TG spectrum and just the life of the CDer. Unless you really follow a person as they post and get some background on them, if it is available, I will agree from the point of someone who has not been out, things look a lot different. Including scary, unrealistic, not doable, and many other things.

I started to write up a quick background summary that I could add to one of my current outing posts and it was over three pages 8.5x11 pages. And that was just the start of a very brief summary. I do not think that is something most would want to read on every one of my outing posts.

I tell people that really want to get out in public to get out of town. Way out of town away from those you know. Scope out a safe area and just do it. Yes you may get some looks and maybe some comments. Actually expect some and you may be surprised at how few you get. But expecting to get the comments and looks takes a lot of stress out of your mind. But the overall feeling of being out will make it positive. And you will quickly learn that being out is mostly between your ears and little to do with achieving the perfect look.

[karynspanties]

Well I can assure you all of my adventures are 100% real. It all boils down to confidence and not worrying about what others think or say. I have been out enfemme and had people point and laugh. (Very hurtful and a blow to the self confidence) I have had people not even bat an eye at me. It depends how you are dressed for the given time and place. Now, I am an ehibitionist and have gotten into some interesting situations. But they are all true.

[Stephenie S]

Michelle, from your avatar you look just fine, sweetie. Don't worry about not looking perfect. NOBODY looks perfect. You don't need a perfect look, just a normal look. And a big smile. Everyone likes a smile. It will be your best friend as you go out. Just like your avatar. That kind of smile. Wear it all the time and you will be fine. Really!

Lovies,
Steph

[Rikkicn]

I've had a few very embarrassing moments early on. I was pointed at by two sa's in a dept store and I saw them giggling as I hurried out. I went to a drive thru once and the young woman broke out laughing and her boss stepped in and politely helped me. People have stopped and turned around to watch me with frowns on their faces.
Your right, there are all kinds of emotions that over came me. Humiliation, shame and on and on.
I kept going out though and getting better and better at my presentation. I got more and more comfortable being out and eventually the bad stuff stopped. Oh, I still get "looks" from time to time but now it doesn't bother me and in fact I kind of like being a trans activist. The more of us that are seen the easier it is for the rest of us to come out.
The wonderful experiences far, far out weighted my bad ones.
When the emotions come up then it's good to remind yourself that the your a kind , loving person with the right to lead your life how you wish.
Getting through the emotions feeling stronger and better has an amazing effect.