sudden stronger feelings

[dds]

I am in my early 40s and have secretly dressed (mostly lingerie and heels) since I was a teenager. It was a part of my life that I have really only shared with one other person (my partner of 12 years) and never thought too much about. Now, in the past six months or so, I have had a very strong desire to dress up more often, more fully, and to go out. I am not sure where these feelings have come from -- and, I have to admit, I am not dealing with them all that well. In the past, I might go several months without dressing, or maybe only do it once a month, but now I seem to be thinking about it all the time. I've shared these new feelings with my partner and he was initially supportive, but the reaction has definitely cooled since then. I haven't really acted on these feelings, making things even more frustrating.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of sudden surge of feelings for crossdressing? I'd like to be more comfortable with it and allow myself to explore it all some more, but finding it all a bit difficult and troubling.

[Donna Marie]

Yeah, it comes on with a surge sometimes. Other times it is in the background. I have no idea why, but when the urge is there, it is REALLY there!

[susie evans]

welcome DD alot of us have started this way and it seems that we never change back (don't want to either )as we can enjoy the best of both worlds

susie

[daniella]

Sure I've had these surges too. During any major rise I make sure I am very clear and open with the people that matter to me. I want them and the important person(s) in my life to be aware of what's happening and hopefully be a part of it as well.

The waters always settle. Your boat just might come to rest in a different place in the pond.

[Angie G]

DDS befor my wife know I dressed her and there and it didn't bother my now that she nows and accepts it it seems like that all I want to do and I'm very OK with that and I'm more reaxed now.
So give it a try and see how it works you and your partne may like it
Angie

[Kate Simmons]

It's the age old choice Hon. The Lady or the tiger(CDing).

[JoAnnDallas]

Up till March of 2005, my CDing was once in a while when the wife was at work. Then it was mainly bra, panties, slip, and etc. Then the company I was working for folded and I came to Dallas, TX since there are more job openings here than in WV. While I was staying at my sister's house, she was working on a clothing drive for her church. She had about 10 large bags of clothing that she had collected. I was helping her one day sort and fold items, noticing all the nice fem clothing. Then one day when I was not out on a job interview and she was at work, I deciede to see what I looked like in some of the outfits she had collected. There were bags with under garments, so I tried some on till I found some panties, bar, and a slip that fit. Then I tried on one of the dresses. I think at that very moment, the Pink Fog hit me. I spent the whole day trying on different outfits and under garments. There was even a bag of shoes, but only found three pair that fit my feet. The next day, I sorted out items that fit me and moved those to my room for safe keeping. LOL From that time on, my CDing went into high gear.

[Holly]

Well, dds, here's my on the matter. Surges such as you are experiencing happen pretty regularly. In you case, I think it coincides with your finding this site. You've seen that you are definitely not alone in your desire to explore your gender identity of choice. And there's nothing wrong with that! I would only offer you the suggestion to moderate your impulses. It is way too easy to fall into the trap of abandoning other important parts of your life in favor of trying to experience all the things that you feel you have missed out on in the past. Trust me, at 40 you still have plenty of time! It would be unwise to throw caution to the wind and and pursue your CDing at the potential of risk to other aspects of of your life. The trick, as in all aspects of living, is to find a balance that will allow you to explore your gender identity without sacrificing other important aspects of your life.

[steppingout]

Hi DDS,

Personally, Ive always found the urge to dress is much stronger when I'm feeling stressed - after long, difficult days at work, for example, or during family illness.
For me, getting dressed, having a glass of wine and just lying on the couch with a glass of wine seems to ease the mind.
There's a thread on here somewhere saying some other people experience the same thing - could that be the cause of your heightened interest?

[Dixie]

[SIZE="3"]My wife explained it to me as "..it's your female side fighting for some attention. She wants to be free to come out and play." True or not I do not know, but I do know that she is the type of woman who can get what she wants [/SIZE]

[Rebecca_Annette]

I know for a lot of folks here the desire started at a very early age, I suppose mine did too in a way, though it was kept hidden for a long time.

Now is my "second chance", if you like, but the desire is stronger than it ever has been. I'm early fifties-going on eighteen (if you follow?), but I was wondering if there is such a thing as a "male menopause" and if this could in some way have some effect in bringing out our other selves?

Just a thought....

[Fab Karen]

It's the age old choice Hon. The Lady or the tiger(CDing).

Cake or death?

[Fab Karen]

( your partner ) Most gay men are turned off by anything feminine. Like people in relationships with GG's who are 200% hetero, you'll have to talk & work things out with some kind of compromise if you hope to keep the relationship.

[joperinal]

Very familiar story. I was dressing up once in a while and after I went to live on my own I didn´t dress at all. Never crossed my mind to order anything from the internet, should have. The nI got married and nine years passed.
This year while fooling around in Second Life, a role play game on internet, I choose a female character. Then for me ,"the pink fog" hit in. Together with this internet forum the urge became stronger.... got myself a wig and I even got outside.

[Rikkicn]

The same thing happened with me when I was in my mid forties. Mid life crisis? I think this is a time when many of us examine our lives and compare where we are with were we wanted to be. We examine our lives and set of in new directions. Some buy a red sports car and some buy a red dress.
I came to realize that i just had to see how I wold look fully dressed with make up and hair. Eventually I found a dressing service that helped me. After seeing myself for the first time i knew that I wanted more. Support groups were next and then on to Southern Comfort. It was an amazing two years as I went from in the an in the closet transvestite to an out cross dresser. Scary? yes. Exhilarating? yes.
It was a time of huge growth and learning.