Online propositions

[Eva Diva]

Something got me thinking about this topic last night. A few times in the past I've been contacted by local people about meeting. The particular instances I'm thinking about right now were not members of this forum. Now I like to think that I know what's going on out there - I'm no kid - but some of the suggestions do raise questions. When someone local, who does not have a face pic online, says "We should hook up", what does that say? So you're the kind of person who takes every chance to have sex with total strangers? I'm what you might call a sex-positive person. I believe that what two - or more - people do in the privacy of a cheap motel room is their business. And even at my late baby boomer age, I'm still ready to go at the drop of a hat. But just becuase I put on a dress, that doesn't mean that I forget about the risk of nasty diseases. But the truth is, the people who are most active in getting together are probably the highest risks to deal with. So the person who gets right down to brass tacks is the last one I would want to meet with. If I was going to meet with anyone that is.
So I guess my topic is the intersection of fantasy and reality. The internet connects us with each other, with the barrier of anonymity. Which could encourage a runaway imagination. Which could lead to making poor decisions that we would never normally make leaking into "real life". Which could lead to bad news at the doctor's office.
So a sensible t-girl with a curious streak would need to stay away from those most likely to satisfy that curiousity. Like Groucho said, I wouldn't want to join any club that would have me as a member. Sometimes fantasies are best understood as just that - an exercise in imagination, and not a path towards any real life goal.

There's not question here - I just wanted to throw out the topic and see if anyone has thought about the general subject.

[lucy Boo]

The other side of the coin is CD's or Tg's who are "happily" married who court responses from guys and lead them into believing that they are interested in some sort of sexual liason with them. I had a friend who like me crossdressed and I found that they like others had a Blog on yahoo. I know of many others who do this in an innocent approach to educate the general public and to seak new genuine friends, but my friend used it to solicit the attentions of many guys and to discuss various sordid sexual encounters. I say sordid because he was one of the lucky ones who had not only a wife who was supportive, but who actually enjoyed the feminine side of him and to me what he did was betrayal and as bad as if he had an affair.

[Kate Simmons]

I find it best for me when the people I contact online are up front Eva. That way there are no "hidden agendas", surprises and no false expectations. I try to establish any such feelings up front. Then , when and if we do actually meet, there is a basis for any possible compatability. It's kind of a different "ballgame" if you meet someone out for the first time. I usually use reading body language and what we talk about to assess the possibility of going any further. Even if I find I like someone in either case, I always listen to my gut feelings before proceeding and, of course, any necessary precautions because we can be harmed both emotionally and physically if we do not use good judgment.

[Karren H]

I get propositioned on an hourly basis.. Just goes with the hobby I guess ... Plus my IM is always on so I get 100's of IM's per day.... And even the locals I chat with .... Well let's just say they are all suspect until proven otherwise... Which could take years at this stage.. Chatted with one local friend for over 6 months before we met and dressed together... She had this sweet wedding dress and we are the same size!!! Hehe

Not that I'd ever cheat on my wife because after 31 years of faithful marriage I wouldn't.. But s**t happends... So some of my "straight" crossdressing friends have found out.. Lol. Oppsie!! Not me babe!!! Lol

Love Karren

[Toyah]

Its easy for me if ya dont meet you dont have to deal with it, I am quite happy to chat but meet nah.

[maria p]

The other side of the coin is CD's or Tg's who are "happily" married who court responses from guys and lead them into believing that they are interested in some sort of sexual liason with them. I had a friend who like me crossdressed and I found that they like others had a Blog on yahoo. I know of many others who do this in an innocent approach to educate the general public and to seak new genuine friends, but my friend used it to solicit the attentions of many guys and to discuss various sordid sexual encounters. I say sordid because he was one of the lucky ones who had not only a wife who was supportive, but who actually enjoyed the feminine side of him and to me what he did was betrayal and as bad as if he had an affair.

Thank you lucy Boo for highlighting the other side of the coin. My ex husband was similar to your friend and like you said " although he never did anything" he advertised himself in his own Blog and was approached by men and enjoyed there sexual attention. You might say it was okay, he apparently never met anyone, but if the shoe was on the other foot and your wife or girlfriend had a secret blog with male admirers, how would you feel? Its betrayal and no other word for it

[marie354]

I guess I'm about to find out. I've been E-Mailing back & fourth for about 6 months with a guy that seems like a good person.
I gave him my phone # about 2 weeks ago, and I have his too. As a matter of fact I just got off the phone with him and I finally decided that we should meet for the first time. We're going to have lunch together on this Saturday.
I hope that my "Spidey-Senses" are right. Or CDar. Teeheehee.

It's always interesting meeting someone for the first time, and I think that it will be fine. I'll let you all know.

[Emily Ann Brown]

So Karren, maybe we should "hook up" sometime ! (GIGGLE GIGGLE)


Seriously, I have met people I have known less than a month (that violates one of my "rules" BTW) but only because I sensed that they like myself are wanting friendship and "encouragement", and not anything sordid and/or sexual. My 360 page is now worded so that only a moron would think I am looking for a "quick or otherwise" fling (man there are a lot of morons still around judging from my daily incoming contacts).

I guess Eva the answer lies in an old joke about how you tell if someone is sexually safe. You tell them "I need to warn you before I drop my panties that I have a sexually transmitted disease"......and if they stay you don't!


Emily Ann

[Lovely Rita]

The internet connects us with each other, with the barrier of anonymity. Which could encourage a runaway imagination. Which could lead to making poor decisions that we would never normally make leaking into "real life". Which could lead to bad news at the doctor's office.

Eva, Thanks for your thoughts I appreciate them very much.

[Denielleinheels]

Eva,

First off nice Jazzbass.
I think if some one is in such a hurry to meet (i.e. meat) they'll do any body ...so if you wouldn't that is a good barometer. I get it all the time from my myspace site. "Ohhhh baby we should hook up so I can show you heaven". Yeah right. Trust your gut and you won't go wrong.

[MJ]

"oh baby i would like to take you behind the Harley shed and do you !!!"
now there a caring sort of guy .... not
"do you have a web cam let me see your pantie's "... boy have i got something for you to see Lol right get your own
can you believe that!! i like to make sure i know the person well before i meet them and i tell them up front i am not in to any funny stuff and no sex just friends that's it .... boy it hard being a girl

[kellyann2012]

I have met many people and most of them very nice. I usually don't meet as Kelly but as my man self first. After that if I still feel things are ok then they can meet Kelly.

As far as going further, unless they wish to show me a doctors bill of health "Forget it"...

[Emily Ann Brown]

Before we scare every sister here who is deep in the closet and has never met another sister maybe we should mention how rewarding it is to be with another sister and feel a common bond and be treated like just another person and/or friend. I have maybe a dozen or more meetings under my pink leather belt and have enjoyed them all a lot........but I did my homework and made sure up front the other person knew what WASN'T gonna happen.

MJ, I particularily love the ones that get indignant when I spurn their proposals in the opening IM. I can only imagine how much liquor they have consumed prior to starting their search for "true love".


Emily Ann

[Stephenie S]

The consequences for unprotected sex with a stranger are so severe as to make this activity absolutely foolhardy. Even with "protection" something could easily go wrong. You are talking about possible death here, hon. Please be carefull.

Steph

[JoAnnDallas]

If your read my yahoo profile, it plainly states that I am a married hetrosexual crossdresser, but from time to time I still get IM's from someone that failes to read my profile and thinks I'm a real GG. I remember the first time I got a IM from some horndog and he refused to believe I was really a male and married to my wife. He never got ugly or nasty the whole time we IMed and I have to admit that it did thrill me that he thought I was a real GG, but I finially had to put him in my ignore list. I can now classify most IM's I get into one of three catagories.

T&Aer
Admirer
T-Girl

The first ones go 100% into my ignore list.
The second ones about 90% end up in my ignore list
The third ones have a sub classification of
T-Girl looking for sex with other T-Girls
T-Girl looking for friendships.
The first sub classification end up 100% in my ignore list

[Fab Karen]

Of course you know posing with a bass like that is internet code for "come & get it"

Anyone over at least 30 should have experience & common sense enough to use safety & precaution meeting people from online, whether for something casual or potentially serious. Avoiding people altogether is the only true guarantee, and that misses the point of living.

[MJ]

hi Emily
there are many friends i have met through this web site.. and are now good friends don't get me wrong .. but like i sad it's best to get to know them first and i have never met anyone through im system and never will.. i am not that type of girl... but good friend are hard to find .. here we share a lot in common and over time i would love to meet others but remember no sex please I'm British

[O2B Barbara]

I am totally committed to my wife in all ways. She has been my support and teacher the last couple of years with my progressive dressing. While I have not tried to pass, I have not fantasized about being with a man either. I would like to actually meet others like me, both mtf and ftm for fun and education as well as support.

If you make your feelings, fears and intent known up front you may meet some nice people that can turn into friends.

Just my opinion here,

[Sarah Rabbit]

I'm happily married, so the subject does not arise. However if I was single, I would have to investigate this lifestyle more closely and write a book


Sarah R.

[sterling12]

So, tell this person up front: "Hey, I'm not like that!" "We can be friends....but!" Bet you one of two things will happen. You get The classic "Blow-Off", or this guy will still think he can romance you. Either scenario, it ends up "messy", or worse!

I harp on my support groups but it's a genuine advantage to be able to meet with others in a safe, accepting, environment. I have made a lot of friends, we do a lot of stuff together and as individuals, and none of my Gurlfriends from The Tri-Ess Groups are trying to get into my panties. For me, that's the way I want it.

I belong to one chatroom, and it's a safe one. We don't have "chasers" or weirdo's and if someone comes into the chatroom with that idea in mind, they get told politely that they are in the wrong place. If they refuse to listen, then we have ways to make them disappear.

It's probably natural for Cd's to want to "flirt" and probably a lot of us have had "fantasies." I would just be very careful with whom, and where, if I tried some of this stuff out. About 3 years ago, We had a T-Gurl at one of the local clubs pick up a guy. She went someplace with him, on a whim. She ended up very dead! Meeting some stranger off the Internet, with no safety precautions, seems like a similar thing.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[rose382832]

me and my wife have met two( definatly,) or more gurls from this site by being at an agreed on place, rainbow mountain, for their tg/cd weekend. we never let anyone think there would be anything else happen but dancing and talking. one of the gurls recognized me from my postings( no pictures then) and the other i recognized but was suprised that she didn't look like she was 8 foot tall and bullet proof the way she seems online still it was one of the most positive times of my life meeting them both.

[az_azeel]

I would just like to say.. do not loose touch with reality.. as with everything in life there is people out there that will suck you in to loose that aspect of reality.. please treat the internet as.. yes it can be fantasy for some but for others its like a vacuum.. it can so easily suck you up... we are all hopefully friends trying to reach out to wider world because we have something in common... but remember only YOU can be resposible for who you are....

Take Care

[Dixie]

[SIZE="3"]These are all great ideas, but should anyone decide to "go farther", remember Condoms are a girls best friend![/SIZE]

[TxKimberly]

I have met a LOT of girls over the years, and the vast majority were cool! I think there is something great about sitting down with someone and having a conversation knowing that on some level, you understand each other. All the years of hiding and being sure no one suspects, it's great to be able to sit and talk to someone bout it.
So far, I have had only one near miss that I suspect would have turned out badly. I had intended to meet with someone after work, but the job turned out to be very difficult and I had to cancel. She made acomment something along the lines of "That's too bad, we have a wonderful playroom you would have enjoyed"! Two implications there. The use of the word "we" makes me wonder how many people I would have found waiting there when I got there. Next concern was the "play room" - huh? Pretty sure I have a small clue what that might mean - what in hell made them think I was interested in that?
So - 10 years of meeting Tgirls and only one near miss.
My advice - don't get rushed. Before you decide to meet someone, make sure you have spent weeks or months chatting with them. Get to know them a bit before you decide to meet.

Kim (and no I DON'T want to join you in your play room!)

OMG - what did I almost get into? lol

[Eva Diva]

"That's too bad, we have a wonderful playroom you would have enjoyed"!

I can see it now. Video cameras, whips hanging on the wall, and someone in a cage in the corner.


"Mister Wizard, get me outta here!!!!"