oh those US army boys

[SarahLynn]

MJ do not under any circumstances let this person know where you live or how. Ie.; job or job location. I will warn you again you could get really hurt phyically. Maybe even made dead if he freaks over the idea he's "friends" with a dresser. Or a girl who was a guy but now has moved on in his/her life. I am not saying he will but I can not stress enough to you how easy it would be for him if he has any actual combat experience. He will justify it in his mind and when the authorties pick him up he will simply say, (words to this effect) "HE/SHE asked for it." I am not saying he will, but for both of you it's best and better if you can let him go gently.

To that end let him know as soon as possible that this friendship is only for the time he is overseas. That it can not continue/advance once he returns home. You might even suggest that an old friend from school has reentered your life and you are going to pursue this avenue one more time. That will be easy for him to understand because i'm sure there is an old flame in his he'd like to rekindle.

I give you many for starting this friendship, even if it is somewhat selfish, because the troops need all the friends they can get right now. I know and you do too that the media is not portraying this "war" in it's best light and the troops know it too. But we must do all we can to keep their spirits up. It would have been better if it had never started but now it's too late. So keep it platonic and always refer to a later time when he suggests a meeting.

SarahLynn

[TG-Taru]

I'd agree it's best to make it perfectly clear, in a friendly way, he has no "chance" with you, but can continue to be penpals. And not tell. As long as talking is all he's going to get it's more important what you have been and are inside than how the outside has changed. If he asks specifically or finds out (remembering he has not been lead on), he should understand, eventually at least, if he's worth keeping in contact with. Just in case, wouldn't give too much personal information.

I know a guy that is so homophobic he quit smoking because he found out that the British sometimes call a cigarette a "fag". His "friends" said he was "sucking a fag"-he quit that very day.

Hehe, so homophobia is good for your health?

...just too bad it might not be good for other people's health..

[Caroline]

Seems to me that there's absolutely no reason why you two should ever meet. Even if he suggests it, you can always find a reason for not doing so. Similarly, you can always ensure that neither you nor he become too emotionally involved by keeping it light and not discussing deep emotional things that lead to further involvement. Under those circumstances, there is no reason why you should ever need to come out and tell him that you are a TS.

Remember too that it takes a man with rather unique qualities to accept a TS as his girlfriend, and that even if he could accept you for what you are, if his mates in the forces found out about your real self, he would face a terrible ribbing, or worse, which would make his acceptance of you even harder to endure.

Frankly, my advice would be to cool the whole thing down considerably - for your sake and his.

I am also concerned that the situation might turn out to be really bad for you.

Whatever you do, take care.

[Chantelle CD]

Maybe he seen your blog and 360 and knows everything

Ummm whats a 360 ??? hehe

[Rita B]

I have to agree with Jacqui on this one!

Rita

[VeronicaKate]

MJ,

I am a Soldier in Iraq, and I have Soldiers that are under neath me. I know their feeling and how they react to news. Soldiers need contact from the outside world, we need to have that little normalcy from others to keep on going. Do NOT tell him you are a TS, Keep things as they are, he does not need the baggage right now. When he gets home you can test the waters, he might even like that you are a TS, hell Im a CD. Just dont test the waters while he is down there. I see Dear john letters all the time, and the Soldiers are messed up for a while. As I see it once he is home, if you choose to test him out, he is not in harms way, he does not have a gun that he can end his life. I would just drop some hints when he gets back on U.S. soil to see if he is in to it, if he is not, then your distance is enough to break it off, with out him knowing who you are. He will have an easy time bouncing back with his buddies.

Sorry if this blunt or seems harsh or rude, and I do believe the sooner is better route, but his buddies are counting on him to have his head in the game to stay alive. Good Luck

If you have any other question please PM me

[Kieron Andrew]

Maybe he seen your blog and 360 and knows everything

Ummm whats a 360 ??? hehe

http://uk.360.yahoo.com/login.html?....om%2F&.src=360 - 360

[CD Tammy]

Just remember, when he does find out that he is armed and well trained. Enough said?

[VeronicaKate]

Please,

I would just like to say, I have been through two tours in Iraq, and have seen things, endured events that no one should. But I am disturbed by some of the post here. Soldiers are still humans, we are not crazed, lunatic TS killers. Would I tell them about myself, no becuase I have a job to perform and this is my private life, and I like my job. I know of one Soldier that was devestated becuase he met a girl and she was a TS, yes the guys gave him a hard time, mostly becuase they had sex (post op), but the kid did not know. He got over it and they luagh about it. But I must have missed the part when they formed the TS lynch mob, I am sorry for all those that see us Soldiers as dangerous, crazy, criminals.

[Pink Person]

Originally Posted by Jacqui
MJ, I have to be honest with you and I hope I don't offend....but since he believes he's corresponding with a woman, there's a strong chance he may be devastated to find out otherwise. If I were you, I would try to find a way to end this amicably without letting him know the truth. I can't imagine anything worse than being depressed about a relationship when you're trying to stay alive each day in Iraq.

I think you know, based on reading your posts, that the right thing to do is to start and continue relationships with those who know the truth up front.

That's just my

Good luck,
Jacqui

I strongly agree with Jacqui. Find a way to very politely and positively end it without telling him. I understand your feelings, but frankly I think that you are being too selfish and too careless with the feelings of other people.

Pink

[Emily Ann Brown]

MJ hun.........I once had a young man contact me. He made me feel beautiful. He was witty and sweet and never mentioned sex. I finally felt guilty enough to mention that since he obviously had not read my 360 page I should bring up the fact that I was TG. To my surprise he told me he HAD read my 360, and felt I was a sweet and special lady who could use a friend who treated me like the woman I was. He has given me some of the best conversations in my life and I would hug him for an hour if he were here right now...can't though, he's halfway around the world in a hell hole.

Be your guy's FRIEND......stay away from romance and such. Don't lead him on. He may need you more than you need him. If he asks things be honest.


Emily Ann

[MsJanessa]

mood = confused

Well i met this guy on line and we are having a great time talking joking around and you know these army boys .. and for the first time in my life i am having a wonderful fun time with him but he does not know i am a ts .. and for the first time in my life he makes me feel like a woman and i love it .no man has talked to me like this . the problem is i have to tell him .. but i don't want too
because i don't want this to end .. and i fear it will .. it breaks my heart when people find out and then treat me different i don't want that .. and he wants pictures boy am i in trouble..
so i know what i should do .........but i love the interaction we have and don't want to lose it .. on one hand i love being me a woman .. on the other hand losing this friendship because I'm a ts sucks and hurts
he is a great guy in Iraq can't say anymore but god i wish i were fixed

so do i tell or not !!! . and enjoy the frill of being treated as a gg you don't know much this hurts

well from what I can see of your pics darling you could send them to him and he wouldn't be able to tell---the problem becomes what happens if and when you actually meet---if you are going to go "all the way" with this person then you need to make a decision---I'm assuming you're post op so you might be able to get away with not telling him---this may be ok if all it is is a casual one night stand type of thing---but you don't seem like that type of girl so I'm assuming that you are looking for an ltr then you should level with him asap about who and what you are---if he accepts it then fine and if not then fine too, go get another guy, with your looks that shouldn't be a problem for you . What will be a problem is if you don't disclose your TS status to him and you continue in a ltr. He will evenutually discover that you are a TS and then there will be hell to pay---much better now than later---good luck If you are not post op but pre or nonop you should tell him before it gets physical because once you undress he is going to know.

[RobertaFermina]

If you leave no trace of your actual identity and NEVER will, so what. NEVER means even if your heart begins to ache because....well...just because.

If you have a desire to reveal yourself and create a real relationship (or have already taken steps?) then ....consider, how would you feel if he were not who he said he was, suppose the most substantial or comforting quality he projected was fundamentally false?

...suppose he WAS openminded enough to continue to accept you since he 'sees' into your soul and can live with your transition....would he TRUST you if you were not honest when the time to be honest came?

In Love and Service,

Roberta

[MJ]

I would just like to say, I have been through two tours in Iraq, and have seen things, endured events that no one should. But I am disturbed by some of the post here. Soldiers are still humans, we are not crazed, lunatic TS killers. <snip>

Veronica thank you

MJ hun.........I once had a young man contact me. He made me feel beautiful. He was witty and sweet and never mentioned sex.<snip>.

must be the same guy .. so i will take it slow and see what happens

[Kate Simmons]

Soldiers need to know that what they are fighting for means something. I know I was always thrilled to receive letters from home and friends. This young man needs a friend right now who knows that his efforts are appreciated. I think if you take things slow, it will be okay.

[rose382832]

thank you from all the soldiers who are deployed anywhere. please dont make our life any harder than it is. we would rather come home to an empty house than know that we are being left while we are away.sometimes the suprise is better than the truth. the truth can hurt but it can also kill freinds cause our mind is not on our job here , wicth is staying alive, if we can't concentrate on our job our freinds die. better not to know. hugs love and kisses. please im me if you feel lonely or want to talk.

[LindaTS]

It's not fair to jerk people around and mislead them because we get some enjoyment out of it. I personally think it's wrong to try to convince other people that we are women, that's meddling with peoples feelings, big time. He's probably going to find out sooner or later that you are really a guy and when he does, he's gonna be pretty mad, I'm sure. The longer you wait, the more upset he is going to be. I think this is treading on dangerous ground.

Jill, you have to realize that there are more than just a few of us here who are women. Maybe not in the eyes of the law yet but we were born this way. Some of us will complete the journey and some, like me, who are non-ops for different reasons, will not go any futher.

MJ, I know this is a tricky subject. I for one always try to make sure everyone I meet knows for sure just who they are dealing with. I'm not sure how long you should wait to tell him but I do know that you need to do so soon. Good luck hon. You're one of the girls here who I really respect.

[Wendy me]

my thoughts ??? tell him your not who he thinks you are give him a link to your 360 page ..... then offer to be Friends if he still wants ..... there plenty of people out on the web you can have fun with this soldier is not some one to string along ......

[StephanieH]

For what it's worth, I wouldn't tell him anything but I would break the relationship off. Better for him to think he's being dumped by the girl he thought he was talking to and let him move on to find someone else before he comes back home. If he's found you on the internet, he can likely find someone else - why waste his time or yours on a relationship that cannot hope to succeed? Any relationship built on deception hasn't a chance.

And regarding one of your earlier posts where you state you're a "ts" and "never was a guy" I'm a bit confused. Do be blunt here, and not wanting to offend, does that mean you don't have the "equipment" shall we say, and never did? Just thought that was a bit puzzling.

Be tactful, but in my opinion, let him go and move on to someone who knows who you are if you want a meaningful relationship.

Take care!

[SarahLynn]

Please,

I would just like to say, I have been through two tours in Iraq, and have seen things, endured events that no one should. But I am disturbed by some of the post here. Soldiers are still humans, we are not crazed, lunatic TS killers. Would I tell them about myself, no becuase I have a job to perform and this is my private life, and I like my job. I know of one Soldier that was devestated becuase he met a girl and she was a TS, yes the guys gave him a hard time, mostly becuase they had sex (post op), but the kid did not know. He got over it and they luagh about it. But I must have missed the part when they formed the TS lynch mob, I am sorry for all those that see us Soldiers as dangerous, crazy, criminals.

Quite true. And i am not suggesting you are, but one must look at all realities in a situation like this. There is the real danger to their lives that can best be avoided by some common sense rules.

#1 Don't lead him on. NO matter how good he makes one feel emotionaly, there is a chance for serious harm to mental and phyical health.

#2 Don't quit being a friend but do reveal one's true self.

#3 Read and respond to your friend, to both #1 and #2

SarahLynn

[diane59]

Tell him now! If he is sincere about his friendship, it could only help.

[Cai]

And regarding one of your earlier posts where you state you're a "ts" and "never was a guy" I'm a bit confused. Do be blunt here, and not wanting to offend, does that mean you don't have the "equipment" shall we say, and never did? Just thought that was a bit puzzling.

(MJ, I hope you don't mind if I field this one.)

When MJ says she's TS and never was a man, it means she was born a woman in a man's body. She has (or had, if post-op) guy's "equipment" but mentally, she's as female as a GG. Make sense now?

[MJ]

And regarding one of your earlier posts where you state you're a "ts" and "never was a guy" I'm a bit confused. Do be blunt here, and not wanting to offend, does that mean you don't have the "equipment" shall we say, and never did? Just thought that was a bit puzzling.

hi Randi

just for the record here i always felt that i should have been born a woman from my childhood days from age 5 ... so i never did believe i was a guy ... yes i have male body parts but i was never a guy after years of seeing many shrinks i got my letter for srs .. and will be glad to see the "bits" gone forever and live as my true-self . the sad part of all this is i will always have to tell close friends or guys my history it's not fair but it's the right thing to do

[SIZE="3"]good news everyone he knows all about me while i was out i got a message and he knows all ...and still wants to be friends with me so when he comes on line tonight we shall have a interesting conversation and he as a CD friend too... so i am happy he know and it seems i have made another friend Emily was right thanks Hun ... and yes i could be young enough to be his mother .. but just being friends is good enough for me..
and there i was getting upset over nothing ... see what fear does to you ?[/SIZE]

[Kieron Andrew]

good news everyone he knows all about me while i was out i got a message and he knows all ...and still wants to be friends with me so when he comes on line tonight we shall have a interesting conversation and he as a CD friend too... so i am happy he know and it seems i have made another friend Emily was right thanks Hun ... and yes i could be young enough to be his mother .. but just being friends is good enough for me...
and there i was getting upset over nothing ... see what fear does to you?

there you go! puts your faith back in humanity doesnt it? that there are some people out there that just see us as people, he just wants friends, hes probably lonely, homesick and just wants a friend to talk to......

[SarahLynn]

Let me be the first to say i am so glad this it a non issue.


SarahLynn