"Why are you putting this off until the last minute?"

[Cai]

My mother asked me that question on the phone a few minutes ago. She wants to know why I don't have an outfit for my sister's graduation on Saturday. My sister made me promise that I would show up in a skirt or dress. (She doesn't know, but considering I haven't worn a skirt since my own graduation, she just assumed I wouldn't unless asked).

So we come back to the question of why I am putting this off until the last minute. Because I really, really don't want to have to go to the mall in girl mode and buy a dress. Because I haven't shaved in going on 8 weeks now, and since my hair is dark, it'll be just a little obvious. Because I don't like what's currently in style, especially not on me. And again, back to "I don't want to."

I hate making a big deal out of this - it's supposed to be my sister's day. But there's a reception afterward, and a party the next week, and a family reunion the weekend after that, and for all of these I have to wear the d***ed dress.

I'm actually seriously considering measuring myself and going to the mall and telling them I'm looking for something for my sister or my girlfriend. Heck, I'm halfway considering trying to look like a MTF CD'er, instead of a girl.

Yeah. Did I mention I don't want to buy a dress?

[pocoyo]

awwwwwwwwwwww poor thing

Hmm... maybe you need to (kindly and politely) let them know that you really are not comfortable in a dress but that you are more than happy to wear something smart which is not a dress/skirt (but male or genderless) as a sort of compromise?

Would they listen?

*hugs*

Awww, I know how bloody frustrating/annoying/confusing these things can be. I hope you sort out some sort of compromise.

[CaptLex]

My sister made me promise that I would show up in a skirt or dress.

Why would someone demand a promise like that?

Can you compromise by getting a very nice (ladies) pants suit? Or maybe a gender-neutral one that you can dress up with a pretty blouse for the occasion, but then wear with a cool masculine shirt after all the festivities are done? Why be forced to buy something you'll probably never wear again? I feel for you, hun.

[Cai]

Why would someone demand a promise like that?

Because she wants me to "look nice." Which means skirt or dress in her eyes, unfortunately.

Though the compromise might work for the reception and parties, because I do have a very nice pantsuit that I wear to speech competitions. I'll bet I could change into that after the ceremony.

[Lisa Baby]

Has she seen you in your pants suit? With your best lace and/or ruffle blouse?

The "demand" for you to wear a skirt or dress is, in my opinion, unreasonable. Even if thus were a weddig, she would still be out of line. (Unless you were one of the brides maids.)

Tou are not the center of attention at this affair and should be able to dress in a maner you find comfortable.

I wish you the best in solving this delema.

[bi_weird]

Ouch, that's sucky. *hugs* I think it's totally an option to show up at the store with measurements like you said and pretend it's for someone else. *laughs* you COULD get a skort...I've always loved them despite anyone I know who cares about fashion hating them like the devil. Other than that...I guess grin and bear it? Give yourself a reward for the shopping, and again for each time you wear it. Like junk food or a new book or something fun.

[Cai]

A skort? Do they still make those?

And Lisa, it is her day, so I do understand why she wants me to look nice for it. I'm going to be meeting her friends, many of them for the first time, and she wants me to make a good impression, I think. That's why I haven't told anyone at home that I don't want to buy a skirt - I don't want to steal focus from her graduation, and a fight over something as minor as what I choose to wear would make me feel bad.

[Lovely Rita]

Hey Cai, seems like that old addage is true, One woman's poison is another man's whatever.
Too bad MTFs can't some time be standins for FTMs and vice a versa.

Would'nt that be cool if we were able to attend those perfunctory occassions for one another. Just dreaming again.