An "Ugly" Incident

[JessiRed]

So, long story short, while I was on vacation last week my SO's sisters boyfriend decided to snoop around on my computer and found my "girlie" pics and decided to confront my SO about it. I happened to overhear what was said and he told her that he found the pictures and that I was "A very ugly woman". He apparently was trying to "out" me to my SO, which is laughable, she is a VERY supportive SO. Upon hearing this I went inside and told him to "**** off and never come back". I have been a mess since then, I almost feel violated and it is one of my worst fears come true. I know better than to let this rule my life but it's hard. What should I do? Nothing? Should I let him back into my home? Am I overreacting? I feel lost...

[Sharon]

He was attempting to out you! F him.

[Frankie-Dear]

Your worst fear.... Wow! Congratulations!! The very thing you were most afraid of has happened, and you're still alive, and life is still going on, and it's no problem to your SO, so you're over the hump! Now you can be fearless! How cool is THAT?? He inadvertantly did you a favor.

Good for you for booting his azz out, though. What a sleazy thing for him to have done.

And just for the record: You are NOT an ugly woman. Not at ALL.

[MJ]

just for the record i think you look great. i guess you are out to the family now .. hold your head up high girl.. and i think it's time to add a log in to your computer so this won't happen again

[Marla S]

You could try to be cool.
Say sorry that you have thrown him out, but that he might better consult a shrink.
In contrast to CDing, spying others computers and to tattle harms others. This is lowest level. At least he should have talked to you first.

[Dixie]

[SIZE="3"]I think he has some nerve snooping on someone else's computer, I would not let him back into my home ever again, who knows where else he'll snoop and what he may be capable of ie theft.
What an A**HOLE!!![/SIZE]

[aka.laura]

Tough. But you did the right thing! AND survived! What's the worst thing that could happen now? Think about it and prepare yourself. BTW: no password on your PC? uups. And I think you look good too!

[Karren H]

Ouch!!!

I'd say we hunt him down, dress him up like a woman and drop him off at the mall...... Hmmmm. Doesn't seem like punishment to me!!! Never mind......

I'd never let him into the house.. Or talk to him.. EVER!!!

Karren

[Joy Carter]

Ouch!!!

I'd say we hunt him down, dress him up like a woman and drop him off at the mall...... Hmmmm. Doesn't seem like punishment to me!!! Never mind......

I'd never let him into the house.. Or talk to him.. EVER!!!

Karren

A lumberjack convention would be better. I hear they get pretty lonely up in those camps.

[bobi jean]

JessiRed
Whenever you are ready
Bobi

[Di]

What a sleaze. You lived through it and if you can I would NEVER let him near you again.......................BUT in family situations this isn't always possible...if you end up around him because of have to situations...never trust him again.

[Fab Karen]

A lumberjack convention would be better. I hear they get pretty lonely up in those camps.

I hear some of them in the evening put on women's clothing and...

[Fab Karen]

Ouch!!!

I'd say we hunt him down, dress him up like a woman and drop him off at the mall...... Hmmmm. Doesn't seem like punishment to me!!! Never mind......

Karren

No, dress him up & drop him outside a naval base.

[Sheri 4242]

Bottom line issue here to me really isn't that he attempted to out you. What is most bothersome to me is that he violated your privacy by poking into things he should not have been into. That's none of his damn business. I would NOT invite him back into my household until he agreed to abide by common, basic, respect and decency with not violating other people's rights.

What a jerk

What a jerk! Banish him for the immediate future (I say that b/c you never know how things might change in five years, or ten, or twenty -- and not even then until he sincerely apologized -- and not even then until he earns back a modicum of respect, which is something he needs to sincerely work for). It is wonderful your SO is behind you and that your family knows -- you've got unity there! What does your SO's sister have to say about the incident (not that her opinion should give you pause to rethink your very justifiable reaction)???

[Sandra]

Hmm snooping and trying to out you, you did the right thing by getting him out of the house and if it was me I wouldn't ever let him back in.

[JessiRed]

Well thanks so much for the kind words ladies, you are all beautiful!

Sharon- F'ing right on

Frankie- It may not have been my WORST fear (that would be the guys in my band finding out-which this guy knowing creates that possibility) but it def. ranked right up there. He did this in the middle of a party we were having and I was terrified he was going to make a scene.

MJ- Funny enough I am already out to my family, and yes you're right about the login, woops

Peach- Thank You

Karren- You are so funny, I love the way you look at things, I could learn a few things from you

Sandra- Yeah, he's never coming over again, too bad he'll miss all the pool parties this summer, hehe

BTW, he tried to tell my SO that he thought it was just from a costume party or something but he is full of it.

[chucks]

some people are assholes and some will never change but it is best to forgive anyway and be humble.

[bobi jean]

Your SO's, sisters boyfriend? What the f**k was he doing on your computer in the first place? without permission I presume!!! never back in the house, no-one needs that type of person around. Ok now for your "apology" to him, for over reacting. NEVER MIND!!!!!!!!!!
BEST TO LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE.... Chances are he is going to tell some of his closest friends, and at some time you may have to deal with that situation, but if you just wait to see if he does or not , it may just pass over..
A VERY UGLY WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT AN AROGANT ASS, WHERE DOES HE GET OFF TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE/ANYONE LIKE THAT

Lets Use Karrens Idea About Dressing Him Up, But Lets Take Pictures first, Post Them On The Internet, Then Drop Him Of At A back roads truck-stop Some Where

[Amy Hepker]

Well,
I guess the word is out. Just how far will he take it and if your friends find out what will they do??? Will they believe you or him?? Does it really matter?? You may lose friends and you may find out who your true friends are. I told a very male friend of mine that I was a Crossdresser years ago and he never cut me down or banned me, as a matter of fact he is still one of my best friends. No he is not gay and has never even thought of crossdressing, but he is a very good friend. I am just wondering what your SO said to him about it. I went out on a Halloween one time with my now Xwife and a friend of hers for breakfast and some guy said that I was one ugly chick, my not so supportive Xwife turned around and made comments to him backing me. I was surprised by her remarks even though my dressing was not good as far as she was concerned.
I would just go with the flow. You may want to let people hear it from you before they hear it from him. Tell then what he did, they maybe on your side just because what he did was wrong.

[JulieC]

So, long story short, while I was on vacation last week my SO's sisters boyfriend decided to snoop around on my computer and found my "girlie" pics and decided to confront my SO about it. I happened to overhear what was said and he told her that he found the pictures and that I was "A very ugly woman". He apparently was trying to "out" me to my SO, which is laughable, she is a VERY supportive SO. Upon hearing this I went inside and told him to "**** off and never come back". I have been a mess since then, I almost feel violated and it is one of my worst fears come true. I know better than to let this rule my life but it's hard. What should I do? Nothing? Should I let him back into my home? Am I overreacting? I feel lost...

Bottom line issue here to me really isn't that he attempted to out you. What is most bothersome to me is that he violated your privacy by poking into things he should not have been into. That's none of his damn business. I would NOT invite him back into my household until he agreed to abide by common, basic, respect and decency with not violating other people's rights.

What a jerk

[Angie G]

Keep him out he will never be a friend or someone you can trust. Don't let him back in
Angie

[tammie]

Hi Everyone: Dear Jessi IMHO your GG SO sister's "friend" is a coward and a person of low character. Should your SIL decide to marry the jerk then U might have to "see" this cretin occasionally, but stick to your guns and don't let that trash ever into your home.

If the worst case scenario happens and U end up being related to him. Offer him an opportunity to apologize, after all it says in the Bible to forgive as we R forgiven. Other than that my guess is your SIL will also see he is lacking in character and jet the jerk.

[AmandaM]

Take some fake Holloween pix where you look like you did a really bad job crossdressing. Then, if it comes up, you show your friends these pix, and say, "Oh, you mean THESE dumb photos". And tell them he's freakin' out over nothing and must be seriously homophobic if your cartoonish attempt at Holloween creeps him out.

[MsJanessa]

I volunteer to flog him

[Rebecca-L]

You were right to throw him out. He had no business using your computer, let alone snooping on it. That's just wrong!

Perhaps your SO should talk with her sister, since she should also share at least some of the blame for letting the boyfriend mess around with your computer.

And, for heaven's sake, at least password protect the pictures, if not the entire computer.