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Thread: An "Ugly" Incident

  1. #51
    Junior Member JessiRed's Avatar
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    Thanks again for all the compliments and advice ladies, everyone here is so wonderful!

    An update: My SO and her sister have been trying to figure out a way to resolve this. Apparently this guy has played dress up with the sister and she seems to think that if I tell him it was just something similar he will believe it. Also, because I was a little tipsy when I confronted him AND I was a little tipsy in the pictures they are also going to play the intoxication card.

    The underlying story here is that I had previously offered one of this guys friends a job. This friend is a good guy (unlike johnny snoop alot) and he is getting married next spring to a really wonderful girl who I am friends with. Now I don't want to hire the friend for fear of my "habit" being made public knowledge in my workplace. The sister is best friends with the bride to be and she is really just trying to keep this whole snooping scenario under wraps so that I will hire this guy.

    What I really want to do is tell the snooper that I am TG and that he needs to get over it, not hire the friend, and move on with my life. I guess there is no simple solution.

  2. #52
    Being There Dasein9's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JessiRed View Post
    What I really want to do is tell the snooper that I am TG and that he needs to get over it, not hire the friend, and move on with my life. I guess there is no simple solution.
    Sounds simple enough to me. I think that since what you really want and what is sensible are pretty much the same thing, you should get what you want (and what you need) in this case.

    Mixing personal life and work too much can be bad for both, especially if it means spinning a web of lies and complicating the whole TG issue too much. Also, can you trust your SIL? If she's willing to lie to her boyfriend about you, then I'm not sure I'd trust her to keep your secret from him or someone else, should you and she get into a fight or something.
    "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead

  3. #53
    Member bobi jean's Avatar
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    Jessi
    Did the SO's sister know of your dressing habits, before this incident?
    If she did then I believe I would oust both, the ass wipe that was on the computer, and the sister, until each of them offers a VERY sincere apology, and I mean one that really comes from the heart.
    Right now I, would believe that most of the friends know, unless (as mentioned) the, ass wipe himself does crossdress on occasion (for sex or otherwise), in that case things could be at the very least interesting later on but that would never change the fact that HE DID INTENTIONALLY INVADE YOUR PRIVACEY AND THAT IS NEVER ACCEPTABLE.
    Tipsy had not a damned thing to do with it. The son of a bitch invaded your private life without permission.
    Bobi

  4. #54
    Blushing June '07 Bride Sheri 4242's Avatar
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    Now, Here's a Comprehensive Suggestion!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by sarahdavids View Post
    i just wanted to reinforce that if he thinks you're a "very ugly woman" then he's never seen an atttractive one. you look great.
    I meant to "ditto" that!!! You do, indeed, look great!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by JessiRed View Post
    Apparently this guy has played dress up with the sister and she seems to think that if I tell him it was just something similar he will believe it. Also, because I was a little tipsy when I confronted him AND I was a little tipsy in the pictures they are also going to play the intoxication card.
    H'mmm -- was he jealous? Trying to deflect what he might be? What's his agenda? Is he a CD, and by being a snoop and seeing your photos (and by verbally putting them down), is he trying to gain some advantage with your SO's sister?

    There is a lot it could be, but besides the fact that what he did (by invading your privacy) was so'ooo wrong, it could be that he has some sort of agenda to push with someone!

    Quote Originally Posted by JessiRed View Post
    The underlying story here is that I had previously offered one of this guys friends a job. This friend is a good guy (unlike johnny snoop alot) and he is getting married next spring to a really wonderful girl who I am friends with. Now I don't want to hire the friend for fear of my "habit" being made public knowledge in my workplace. The sister is best friends with the bride to be and she is really just trying to keep this whole snooping scenario under wraps so that I will hire this guy.
    You're right, this sounds complex and simple solutions aren't "simple" to come by. If the guy you want to hire would make you a really good employee, which should be the major factor, you could have some sort of "light talk" as part of the pre-hire process, and then work in (delicatley) that you understand (or definitely know) that "johnny-employee-prospect" is friends with "jerkoff-snoop." You could then say that you'd hate to loose a good prospect over something that somebody else did, but that "jerkoff-snoop" did something devious and very wrong (invading your property the way he did), and (slight "ahem-type" laugh inserted here) in the process of invading your space in a devious way, he happened to see your Haloween pictures from (insert 2 or something) years ago -- AND that you and your SO have a problem with his having snooped; that he isn't trustworthy in your book, besides the fact that he must not have any sense of taste not to recognize real beauty! (Insert: laugh, laugh, laugh.)

    In this manner you've let the guy know that the other man is POND SCUM, and (laughingly) obviously has NO taste.

    See, without really being dishonest, you could put this totally on "jerkoff-snoop," makig him look bad, and presenting a plausible cover to the prospective employee without dwelling on it too much. IMO, this would work very well!!! Puts the onus on "jerkoff snoop" to defend his indefensible actions, and makes him look foolish for trying to make something out of nothing!!! Who knows, such a talk might reveal that the prospective employee thinks "jerkoof snoop" is bad news!!!

  5. #55
    Junior Member JessiRed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barbara4242 View Post
    I meant to "ditto" that!!! You do, indeed, look great!!!



    H'mmm -- was he jealous? Trying to deflect what he might be? What's his agenda? Is he a CD, and by being a snoop and seeing your photos (and by verbally putting them down), is he trying to gain some advantage with your SO's sister?

    There is a lot it could be, but besides the fact that what he did (by invading your privacy) was so'ooo wrong, it could be that he has some sort of agenda to push with someone!



    You're right, this sounds complex and simple solutions aren't "simple" to come by. If the guy you want to hire would make you a really good employee, which should be the major factor, you could have some sort of "light talk" as part of the pre-hire process, and then work in (delicatley) that you understand (or definitely know) that "johnny-employee-prospect" is friends with "jerkoff-snoop." You could then say that you'd hate to loose a good prospect over something that somebody else did, but that "jerkoff-snoop" did something devious and very wrong (invading your property the way he did), and (slight "ahem-type" laugh inserted here) in the process of invading your space in a devious way, he happened to see your Haloween pictures from (insert 2 or something) years ago -- AND that you and your SO have a problem with his having snooped; that he isn't trustworthy in your book, besides the fact that he must not have any sense of taste not to recognize real beauty! (Insert: laugh, laugh, laugh.)

    In this manner you've let the guy know that the other man is POND SCUM, and (laughingly) obviously has NO taste.

    See, without really being dishonest, you could put this totally on "jerkoff-snoop," makig him look bad, and presenting a plausible cover to the prospective employee without dwelling on it too much. IMO, this would work very well!!! Puts the onus on "jerkoff snoop" to defend his indefensible actions, and makes him look foolish for trying to make something out of nothing!!! Who knows, such a talk might reveal that the prospective employee thinks "jerkoof snoop" is bad news!!!
    Very good advice indeed. Thank you so much, you put a lot of thought into your response and I appreciate that. I am going to have a discussion with the sister today (she WAS aware of my "habit" before this and she has sincerely apologized). I don't want to renig on my promise to "prospective employee" but I don't want to be "outed" at work and if he is working here that possibility will always exist.

  6. #56
    Member bobi jean's Avatar
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    Jessi
    Ever hear of a location between a rock and a hard place????
    You are there.
    Be careful!!!! DO NOT PISS ANYONE OFF ANYMORE THAN THEY ALREADY ARE.
    YOU MAY JUST HAVE TO BITE THE BULLET ON THIS ONE...
    A talk with the employee prospect not only is a good idea, it is a must now. Especially to let him know what kind of a jerk he has for a friend. Just be careful doing it.
    I'm sorry if I sound unsympathetic, I'm not, I'm just pissed about the invasion of privacey thing. Other than that it sounds as tho you have a really wonderful relationship with the SO and maybe a few others as well, which is GOOD. Its to bad you don't feel you can/could expand your field of friends.
    Good luck dear and may all thing work out for you.

  7. #57
    Aspiring Member Noel Chimes's Avatar
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    Give him the boot.

    First of all you look fantastic. Now as far as using your computer without your permission, OH HELL NO!!!!!.:mad: Snooping through your personal material is like going through the drawers in your bedroom. This is unforgivable. And as far as him blabing to others about what he saw, go with the costume party. It will make him look like a fool and a sneak and no one will trust him. No apology from him would be enough to undo the damage he has tried to cause. What a jerk. i hope your SO's sis will take a second look at this guy.
    If the clothes make the man then the makeup makes the woman.

  8. #58
    Silver Member Billijo49504's Avatar
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    Me thinks your lookin'good!!!! If you ever want to straighten him out. And you get arrested for assault. I donate towards your bail......BJ

  9. #59
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    There is not a lot you can do except bar him from your home. If you really want to push the issue you could file a criminal complaint for unauthorized access to your computer system as this is a form of burglery. But, that would be ugly and not worth it. I would simply tell him to f--k off and also tell your sister that he is not welcome in your home and why. If she did not already know of your dressing, you can be sure she knows by now. It is a chame this had to happen, but don't fret over it. Just move on and enjoy your self as before.

  10. #60
    Aspiring Member MarieTS's Avatar
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    Oh come on, Jessi. You've got to learn how to "forgive and forget"!
    First you've got to Forgive him... and then you've got to forget the gun is loaded when you're teaching him how to clean it as its pointed towards his crotch. LoL
    Marie

  11. #61
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Contact Dr. Phil, get on his show!

    This sounds like great material for Dr. Phil Show. Go for it!

  12. #62
    Silver Member trannie T's Avatar
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    At least he didn't find your panty drawer or your undies would have been strewn all over the house. What an ass, you did good by not pounding his head soft.
    It takes a real man to wear a dress.

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