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Thread: SO Purged my clothes - because I cheated

  1. #1
    Got Panties? Sharoncd's Avatar
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    SO Purged my clothes - because I cheated

    I got home this evening with 3 hours to dress. I had just bought some new white stockings and was looking to dress in a black skirt with a white top and you guess it white stockings, black necklace, and black 3" pumps. BUT when I got into my box there was nothing there. I checked my over flow box and nothing there. I'm devastated.

    My SO and I have been having problem and I'm guessing that she thinks that this might help. I'm willing to try this, her way, but I have been down this path before, actually many times before. It has always ended the same way. I re-buy everything, which is actually fun but expensive.

    Man this ruins everything. Sorry girls just venting.

    Sharon
    "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
    It's already tomorrow in Australia ."
    ~Charles Schultz~

  2. #2
    Rainbow Rennie Butterfly Bill's Avatar
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    Man, that's stealing and that's a crime. I wouldn't stay with someone who did something like this.

  3. #3
    Gold Member MJ's Avatar
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    i think it's time for a heart to heart . thats so sad but at least you get to go shopping
    try getting some counselling... the both of you ... or this will happen again
    all the best
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #4
    Ms. New Booty angelfire's Avatar
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    That sucks. After a long day expecting to come home and dress, only to find its all gone. Bah, thats really awful.

  5. #5
    Gold Member Samantha B L's Avatar
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    I'm really sorry about that,Sharon. I don't know what to tell you. She's your SO and I guess it isn't anybody's business or mine. But if that happened to me I'd be very shocked,disgusted and disapointed. Well,let's hope that the malls,department stores,shopping centers,Kohl's,Victoria's Secret and of course the wig stores all have "ridiculously low prices" sales out where you live! Cheers,Salu,Samantha

  6. #6
    Platinum Member Barb Valentine's Avatar
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    I would say that you do need to talk to her
    It just not fair to you
    BTW find a new hiding spot
    I just don't have fun -- I make the fun

    Life's too short........Enjoy every day

  7. #7
    Member Lori SC's Avatar
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    Sharon, What your SO did is really unconsionable. And I think you should tell her how you feel. You just don't throw away another persons things without getting their agreement.

    Ask her how she would feel if you just toosed some of her clothes? Actually, my devious mind tells me that I would stuff the clothes in a box, and TELL her I threw them away to make the point. Then I'd give them back. After all, two wrongs don't make a right... But it sure might drive the point home.

    Your SO doesn't realize that YOU have to be the one that controls your behavior. Throwing your things out is only going to make matters worse between you two, and will probably increase your desires, kind of like the forbiden fruit.

    This is not the way to work together to get through this. She is making it very, very difficult.

    Now Sharon, do we have the full story? You did nothing to prompt this reaction?

    Hugs, Lori

  8. #8
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    Turnabout is fair play

    I am sorry, but you should reciprocate by going through her wardrobe and ditching anything you would deem gender inappropriate.

    I know that many of you would wince at that suggestion...


    I know.. my suggestion is not productive at all... at least discuss with her what would have happenend if you had reciprocated... and what items would have been dumped.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member MarieTS's Avatar
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    I'm with Lori on this one... I think she has it pretty much right-on. Good advice!
    Marie

  10. #10
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    Yeah, that sucks, big time.

    But this is no way to run a relationship. You guys need to get on the same page. Relationships (well good ones) run on trust and respect, neither of which are being displayed here.

    Lovies,
    Steph

  11. #11
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    gosh I would wonder why...

    the person I trusted would do such a thing. Ask why....


    Louise.

  12. #12
    The One True Diva KandisTX's Avatar
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    I would definitely confront her about it, but in a manner as suggested questioning her intentions and asking her how she would react if you threw out all her pants and t-shirts that weren't feminine enough. This is just WRONG and quite honestly she really has no right to throw your things out like that.

    Kandis

  13. #13
    Unofficial CD Mom Holly's Avatar
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    Sharon, you say that this has happened before. For those who don't learn from history, it is bound to repeat itself. You really must talk to your SO and get this issue resolved. If, as you say, there are "problems," the help of a professional counselor may be helpful. See if you can locate one who is familiar with gender issues as well.
    Fulltime girl on the inside.
    Lipstick=confidence

    [SIZE=4]Holly[/SIZE]

  14. #14
    Junior Member Miss Terr's Avatar
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    She is treating you as a child, like a mom who finds dirty mags in her sons room.
    Or maybe she thinks of you as a hopeless drug addict, and threw away your stash and paraphanalia.

    I could not live with someone who made a unilateral decison and obviously has no respect for you, your property, or your feelings (not to mention finances).
    I also predict this kind of person would be a big problem if you were to stand up to her; her main threat to "out" you if she didnt get her way.

    Who needs to live like that. I'd rather live alone in peace, than be a partner who is subjugated in the"relationship".
    I know what I would do. I would pack all my stuff and leave.
    Not sure if this is in your capabilities to do, but you need to do something.

  15. #15
    I'm the gal next door Serena Smith's Avatar
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    Vent away

    Feel free to vent whenever you want that's why we're here

  16. #16
    Elly's wife Stacy GG's Avatar
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    So sorry to hear your clothes got tossed . Have you previously talked about crossdressing with her? You need to ask her why she did this. Do not reciprocate by throwing her stuff out!! You will only make it worse. Talk with her and try to express that it makes you unhappy that she has thrown your things away.
    You say this has happened before..her throwing your stuff out? or did you mean the purging of clothes? I would think her continually throwing your clothes out to be unproductive, hurtful and expensive. If this is her way of dealing with problems I suggest serious marriage counseling.
    Marriage has to be a two way street, please don't let her think this is okay way to respond to problems.
    Do you live, do you die
    Do you bleed for the fantasy?
    In your mind, through your eyes
    Do you see it's the fantasy? - 30 Seconds To Mars- The Fantasy

  17. #17
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    I would be very upset too!!! Like ok i can understand a SO for not accepting, but to go ahead and throw everything out, without saying anything? That isnt a purge, thats an personal assult!!! I would take all her jeans, slacks, and tops, and well not throw em away, but to make a point, hide em and tell her, im not going to stand for your cross dressing eather then!!!

  18. #18
    Platinum Member Sheila's Avatar
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    am sorry you came home to find you stash purged, I hope your wife has only hidden and not actually thrown everything out, perhaps it is in sheer desperation to recover some of your relaationship that your wife feels that she has had to take such drastic action ......... I am not defending it but perhaps she saw no other way of letting you know how much your relationship is in crisis.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sharoncd View Post
    [SIZE="3"]SO Purged my clothes [/SIZE]
    My SO and I have been having problem and I'm guessing that she thinks that this might help. I'm willing to try this, her way, but I have been down this path before, actually many times before. It has always ended the same way. I re-buy everything, which is actually fun but expensive. sharon
    Do you mean You have purged before by saying ..."I have been down this road before" ....... or your SO has purged for you ????????

    Last edited by Sheila; 06-20-2007 at 04:04 AM.
    I allow myself to set healthy boundaries ..... to say no to what does not align with my values, to say yes to what does.
    Boundaries assist me to remain healthy, honest and living a life that is true to me

  19. #19
    soulmate of Mrs.M...GG Victoria Anne's Avatar
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    Sharon I am so sorry to hear this news,I must agree with Holly on this, you need to seek professional help in this matter or it will only get worse,the best of luck to you both

    On the road of discovery ... learning to be the woman I have always been.


    Http://photobucket.com/viccy

  20. #20
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    Sharon, that's just plain mean !

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member karynspanties's Avatar
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    There is obviously a deep rooted problem. She must not be capable of simple communication. I know if my wife did that to me, I would act as if nothing happened and have her served with divorce papers at her work. When she came home that night I would be gone. Period. That, as far as I am concerned is an absolute act of complete disrespect. I would not tolerate it.But then again....my wife would not do that.

  22. #22
    Member Michelle04240's Avatar
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    That's just wrong. There should have been a discussion (or was there?) on it.

    I would be devastated if that happened to me.

    Have fun shopping, and good luck with your situation.

  23. #23
    Senior Member Kelsy's Avatar
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    [SIZE="3"]I would just freak! That is such an invasion of privacy. It is problematic when your boundries are violated like that. Are you two able to discuss any of this because this needs to be resolved before the relationship is damaged further.

    Jennifer
    [/SIZE]
    Born female intended

    " Don't die with your music still in you!"

  24. #24
    Super Moderator Raychel's Avatar
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    After I initially told my wife of my dressing, I feared that she may also do something like this, Or use it against me in some way, in an argument. But I must say that is the arguments that we have had, this has never come up.

    I too think that you should talk to her and see just what her thinking was here. In my mind this would only add fuel to the fire. Putting more distance between you and her. This is not a good thing.

    my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress

    "Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"

  25. #25
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    Have you spoken to her about this? Has she really thrown them away or has she just hidden them?

    Whilst I accept that this isn't very nice of her, and I understand how bad you must feel about this, perhaps this is a cry for help on her part? It's extremely hard for many SO's to deal with, and we often react in very strange ways. I really think you need to sit down and have a heart to heart with her about this.

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