my Pals will be the death of me

[unclejoann]

Over the past year I have made a larger and larger commitment to dressing, so finally two weeks ago I order by PALS breast forms. I ordered them to be sent to my PO Box, of course. After waiting two weeks because they were on backorder, I finally got notification tonight that they have been shipped ... to my home address.

My life is over.

Nice knowing you all, I have really enjoyed it, but I don't see how I am going to get out of this one. My wife feels no hesitation in opening packages addressed to me and she is taking the next couple of days off.

No way out, no way out, no way out.

[Kerrie Sifton]

Wishing you well Jo,, two options, be home for the mail, or have a talk with your spouse about a suprise that you were planning, or a third... level with her about your passions.... good luck

[marie354]

Don't worry too much. UPS ground usually takes about 3 days anyway.
True, they are faster sometimes, but in my experience, 3 days is the minimum.

[GACountrygal]

Wishing you well Jo,, two options, be home for the mail, or have a talk with your spouse about a suprise that you were planning, or a third... level with her about your passions.... good luck

what she said!!

[Joy Carter]

Wishing you well Jo,, two options, be home for the mail, or have a talk with your spouse about a suprise that you were planning, or a third... level with her about your passions.... good luck

Ditto's Hun !

[angelfire]

Good luck either way. The suggestions proposed already seem to be the best ones. Other option would be take the next few days off work as well so yuo can get the mail before she gets to it.

[Sheri 4242]

I like the idea about getting to the mail first. (You could put in a stop delivery order, but then your wife would be suspcious b/c you didn't get any mail for however many days. Good side: you could go to the PO to pick up all the held mail.)

Another option: tell her a package is coming and she is NOT to open it. When she asks why not, tell he she'll find out in due time (like her next birthday, or y'alls next anniversary, or even Christmas -- whatever) just tell her you are working on something extra special for an upcoming special date. DOWNSIDE: you are going to have to have something extra special for that future date, and it had better be good!!!

Last comment: maybe it is time to get honest with her?!! I cannot imagine a life without my wife knowing, approving, and supporting me for who and what I am!!!!!!!

[Rachel Morley]

Another option: tell her a package is coming and she is NOT to open it. When she asks why not, tell he she'll find out in due time (like her next birthday, or y'alls next anniversary, or even Christmas -- whatever) just tell her you are working on something extra special for an upcoming special date. DOWNSIDE: you are going to have to have something extra special for that future date, and it had better be good!!!

I agree with Barbara, this is what was going to suggest.

[prettywithsideburns]

possible lame excuses:

"hey, this matching set of novelty desk bells is defective!"

"baby, I just miss you so much when you're away..."

"the doctor diagnosed me with Adult Teething Disorder, and said I should nurse on these twice daily."

"I told the mattress store memory foam, not mammary foam!"

and if all else fails just say "hey, hey, hey, my eyes are up here!"

[aka.laura]

I agree with Barbara. when I lived with my parents I had similar problem: my mother had absolutely no respect for privacy. So I gave her the "birthday" story when I was waiting for a pair of highheels. It worked. You can't use it too often though

[Emily Ann Brown]

Oh we do manage to shoot ourselves in the foot don't we?


All I have to add is things have a way often of working out when we don't believe they will. Relax for now....plenty of time to panic when the bullets start whizzing overhead. GIGGLE GIGGLE


Emily Ann

[MJ]

oh my god i wish you well ... good luck

[Wendy me]

oh ni sorry laughing my butt off .... ok not funny ... well just a bit ....i would go with this ... Barbara, your so smart...



Another option: tell her a package is coming and she is NOT to open it. When she asks why not, tell he she'll find out in due time (like her next birthday, or y'alls next anniversary, or even Christmas -- whatever) just tell her you are working on something extra special for an upcoming special date. DOWNSIDE: you are going to have to have something extra special for that future date, and it had better be good!!!

[diane59]

The return address gives no clue as to whats inside, I just told my SO It was silicone boots for the speakers in my truck (being the company uses that word in its address), Only draw back is you can smell the Vanilla scent through the packaging

[unclejoann]

I appreciate the suggestions, really. And there certainly is a side of me that just thinks this is funny (a side of me that might be taught a good lesson soon). But I didn't sleep very well and the first cup of coffee this morning tastes pretty weak ... I can't think.

I believe that I don't have to worry about today since they were only shipped yesterday (although I live close enough I should have just driven there and picked them up).

As far as an "understanding wife," all I can say that I came out a couple of years ago and got such a bad reaction that I happily just crawled back into the closet so that I wouldn't have to listen to it or see those expressions on her face.

[gmss]

Or, you could go to ups.com, plug in the tracking number, and change the shipping destination.

I can't remember the exact steps, but I'm sure you can do that.

If you call UPS I'm sure they will give you some options as well. Maybe you can have the package stopped when it gets to your home town, and then you can pick it up from there.

You're not sunk yet.

[Karren H]

Well haven't read the responses yet but if I were you I'd run to the post office and stop your mail for 3 days.. Like your going on vacation.. And mark that you will pick it up on what's ever day you want.. Don't have the resume delivery.. Check pick up at po.. Works great..

If its UPS then just call your local ups and tell them to hold the package for pickup... They do that.. Almost had a pair of padded panties and a gaff deliveried to the house by mistake... Called and they held it and I picked it up one evening...


Karren

[TxKimberly]

Well haven't read the responses yet but if I were you I'd run to the post office and stop your mail for 3 days.. Like your going on vacation.. And mark that you will pick it up on what's ever day you want.. Don't have the resume delivery.. Check pick up at po.. Works great..

If its UPS then just call your local ups and tell them to hold the package for pickup... They do that.. Almost had a pair of padded panties and a gaff deliveried to the house by mistake... Called and they held it and I picked it up one evening...


Karren

Not hard to tell Karen is an engineer - she always comes up with a way to beat the system, identify the week spots, and find the loop hole.
If they shipped my UPS or Fed Ex, you can often have these shippments rerouted if you contact them.

Kim

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Karen just stole my thunder, she has all the right moves on and off the ice. And if you find any problems with her suggestions you can always bribe the ups man or the mail man to hold your package.

[paulaN]

UPS has all this tracking stuff going on. It should not be hard to reroute your package.

[Bobbi Lynn]

Get the tracking number, print it out, call the locale UPS office, give them the number and tell them to hold it "on station", you will pick it up yourself. I have this with parts I have ordered as I used to drive right by the UPS station and the FEDX office was very close too.

[Stephenie S]

Bobbi is right. Call UPS and tell them to hold the package for pickup at their facility. Get the tracking number from PALS and have it held for your pickup.

Steph

[Stacy GG]

okay, this is lame, you have already come out to her..why hide then? she already knows , she's just in denial. If you can't change this part of yourself Why pretend you are someone you aren't?
Do you like living in a false reality?
Is this a fun way to live your life?
I would expect for most people the answer would be no. Maybe not for you. Truthfully you should think about counseling. I don't see why everyone is advocating you stay in the closet, it does not seem like a healthy way to deal with reality.
That's my take it or leave it . I just think you would be much happier in a relationship with an accepting partner. If you cannot get that in your current relationship you should think about couple counseling or if you have no children perhaps even moving on.

[Angie G]

OMG! good luck hun
Angie

[unclejoann]

First of all, they ship USPS. So you don't quite get the same service as with UPS or FedEx. They mailed them yesterday. So, Karren's idea of stopping the mail was exactly what I had in mind (I'm an engineer too, but above ground).

My boyfriend also lost a lot of sleep last night worrying about this problem.

Couple counseling with my wife? Great idea, except that is what she does for a living! She IS a counselor.

And I ain't giving up my grandkids for nobody, no how. the closet is better.

And now to let you off the hook. They arrived today and I got to them first (they fit in the mailbox, and she was too distracted to get the mail today).

So, my darlings, I am so relieved, and so appreciative of you all. There IS an Elvis ... or whoever. And now I can learn to be more of the girl I am inside.

And the PALS are wonderful, I wish I had time for more than a quick look today. But tomorrow I am definitely bra shopping in earnest.

I'm still in shock.

PS I am giving the bird seed back to the birds.