Corrine you are a keeper. I looks like you are doing things right. I do hope he comes to realize what he has in you.
Corrine you are a keeper. I looks like you are doing things right. I do hope he comes to realize what he has in you.
KimberlyS-CD
joe in a skirt. Being myself not trying to be some other CDer
Just trying to find a balance for my son and myself.
Standard disclaimer: Going out of the house was right for me, it may or may not be right for you. If you've got no desire to leave the house, that's fine, I'm not trying to push you out the door. But for those who've been yearning to do so, I just want to let you know the world may not be as scary a place as you think.
Originally Posted by Corrine GG
Corrine,
I can relate to you, gosh, you are incredibly level headed, a socially unconvential person, a super human being. He is the luckiest soul to have you. You made it so easy for him. Great display of character - thanks! I wish you forward your text to all those who need some inspiration as almost every CD soul is tensed up to reveal his femme identity to his partner.
Ah, if only more spouses were like you. My wife doesn't mind my dressing but I really don't think she understands just how much I need it and just how much enjoyment I get out of it. She's never really asked me anything about my fondness for lingerie; she just accepts it as something I do. Many times I've wished she'd ask questions about it.
Thank you all so much for the kind words and encouragement. You have all helped me through a difficult time and I couldn't have found a nicer group of people!
I asked him last night if he 'tucked', he doesn't and was a bit confused as to what a tuck was. I guess it's a preference thing that varies along with everything else, makeup, wigs, going out in public. I also asked him if would would wear 'clothes' for me. He said he wouldI just don't want him to feel like he has to hide anything from me. I have always liked those scenes in movies where the guy pulls a girls skirt up...so I thought it would be sexy to pull his skirt up...and find guy parts (cause that is what I like) Does that make me a TEENY bit Lesbo? LOL!
I have also had thoughts on this, reincarnation. I have heard it mentioned a few times but I have really been thinking it over. It makes me wonder if you all haven't been very sexy, powerful or feminine women in past lives. Maybe some of you have never even been men in past lives, like this is your first life as a man. I feel like I have been mostly men in past lives, I think that is what makes me not like the typical girly things. I like fixing things, building things, cars, etc.
Corrine
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?????????????
Reincarnation can wait for later, You gained EVERYONES ATTENTION NOW, so.
...and lifting skirts up to find guy parts.
Couldn't resist
I think talking to him about it will definitely make the relationship stronger and more open. Even if he doesn't want to say anything right away, just talking to him, and telling him your feelings will really make him happy and more comfortable to talk to you about it. It will also make you feel a lot better because getting out all your feelings and questions will help you too and make you feel better. I know it did for me, and still does.
What my SO likes the most is that I am always willing to talk to him and ask him questions. He encourages me to ask him and talk to him. I am usually the one to start conversations about CD'ing, and he really likes that, and of course the fact that I am curious and and supportive.<---- that is the most important i think; reminding him over and over again that I accept and support him and won't leave him no matter what.
I'm sure he will eventually begin to open up to you
Nothing happened with the dressing yet...he just SAID he would. He later said, "I just don't want you to wake up one morning and decide I'm not who you want to be with."
Don't we all fear that? It has nothing to do with CDing.
Besides, all of his 'stuff' is hidden somewhere away from home. The next step is to get him to bring it back. Although, he may need to buy things since I think what he has is 'fashioned' to be worn by him. He is a strange bird, he despises shopping. (guy side coming through, I guess) Seems like he would like going shopping so that he could have some input into the clothes that are bought and then later borrows.
Last edited by Corrine GG; 06-29-2007 at 02:04 PM. Reason: grammar goof, duh
Do you have the space in the closet and a drawer cleaned out for her things yet?
I've always told everyone that there is only one thing I hate worse than shopping. GOING SHOPPING. I have about 20 pair of heels, 20 -25 pair of panties. 5-6 pair of jeans 4 skirts and so forth, all purchased within the last year. The only thing I have ever bought while the wife was with me is a couple pair of pantyhose... AND I HATE SHOPPING
Is it that important to have a special place? I mean, can't he put his things at the end of my side of the closet? I have a hard time with there being a 'third' person in our marriage.
You know Corrine, having a "special place" for him to have his clothes in the house is not all that bad of an idea. From what you have shared with us (and I realize that we have only heard one side of this) he seems to be having self-acceptance issues with regard to his cross dressing. I would say that it has much more to do with him than it does to do with you. By you providing a place for him to bring his things home, it would be one more tangible demonstration of acceptance in his life. And that place certainly could be hanging right next you your things. It certainly couldn't hurt.
Fulltime girl on the inside.
Lipstick=confidence
[SIZE=4]Holly[/SIZE]
Yes he can, but you need to let him know that is where you would like to see them. Something like this, "Honey i have cleared this space for Barbara's things, don't you think they should come home now?"
I think he really needs to know you are being supportive of this and accepting and this would be your way of showing it.
SarahLynn
Right now he has them smashed in plastic bags, all tied up and hidden somewhere away from the house. It would be an improvement, although, I think he just needs to get some new stuff. REAL clothing.
Maybe today would be a good day to go through my closet, "Anything in here you want?" Someone suggested that in a PM.
I'm still not allowed to have my gear in the house - special place or not!
Mitch
Corrine, I don't recall seeing you mention this detail before, and you said that the remark about "just because a man [...]" was the first time he mentioned clothes. Was this part of what his ex-wife mentioned?
I found the makeshift thong and jewelry in his bag. That is what prompted the call to the ex. When I confronted him about it again, I said that they HAD to be his if he wasn't cheating. He admitted it but said it was only panties and it just 'felt good'. I also took inventory of my panties and found that occasionally some went missing then reappeared. I found 4 pair of them in his bag once.
Then he came back from a business trip and came straight home. He curiously left his bag in the car...of course I had to go see what was going on. There was a garbage bag tied up tightly, probably big enough for an outfit. I was squeezing it to see what was in there and I felt the HEELS, which threw me so I quickly put the bag back. That is when I joined this site.
He knows I know about the clothes, that is why he finally mentioned them...he just doesn't know WHAT I know exactly. I hate to be so SNOOPY and he gets on to me about it....that is only because he is hiding so much, but jeez, I know that if I was acting STRANGE he would be snoopy on me.
Does this all make sense now?
Corrine, it makes perfectly good sense to me. I do think that you have been getting good advice from many of the nice people here on the forum. I also think that you are one special person to care enough about your husband to be so patient and try to accept all of him. It does sound as though he is having his own issues with accepting the CD part of himself. This is not at all uncommon. Most of us spend so much time feeling confused and ashamed of it, feeling "less of a man", all due to society's general level of disapproval toward MTF cross-dressing.
It may take him some time to accept that you really do love him enough to accept this and are not just setting him up for a big fall.
I think that you are approaching this the right way, with love, patience, and a reasonably open mind.
We should all be so lucky as to have someone like you.
Bobbie
Live in the Present.
Forgive the Past.
This morning we were in bed...both awake. Here is what happened.
Me "Will you do me a favor?"
Him "sure"
Me "Will you bring all your stuff home?"
Him "What stuff?"
Me "Your clothes and stuff, the stuff you are hiding from me. I love you and it's ok, you don't have to hide it."
Him "What stuff? There's no stuff."
Me "The girl stuff, you don't have to hide it."
Him "There is no girl stuff. I'm not hiding anything."
Me "What about the stuff you took on your business trip?"
Him "I didn't take anything on my business trip."
(Surely he knows by now that he is busted)
He rolls over and hugs me really tight and tells me he loves me.
(silence for about 5 minutes)
Him "You are the nosiest person I have ever known."
Me "I only snoop when I feel like something is being hidden from me."
Him "MMMmhmmm."
Me "So are you going to bring it home?"
Him "No, I'm throwing it away."
Me "NO, don't do that...it's ok."
Him "I am, I don't want to do it anymore...I'm throwing it away."
Me "It will come back you know."
Him "What will?'
Me "your need to do it, you know there is nothing wrong with it."
Him "I'm not doing it anymore. And it's not something I want to talk about...ever."
He did admit that he is hiding his stuff at work, however.
What do I do now? Just wait until I notice that my panties have been tampered with? If it's sexual in nature, I am TRYING to bring myself into it. Is that the problem...it's not something he wants to share with me? In that case, I hope he does give it up...I am tired of not being satisfied in that department.
i'm sorry but i did'nt read all the replys,so hears mydo yoy think you could go get him an outfit that he would like and look good in? you see i think that he has had some of same reactions that i've had. the women in my life that i told that i crossdress sead it was fine and not a problem, but when i was dressed things were not the same and besides it sounds like you are entering a side that he did'nt want you to see.
now theres something that you have to ask him if he don't want to let you in his life.( i say this out of love for ya'll, because it sounds like you want everything to be great with you'r marage.) when he goes on thes trips is he going to gay bars and being pickedup, for one night stands? i fell funny saying something like this,but my friends know that i ask a lot of stuped quistions.
nothing butkathy
I think you are doing wonderful. If I had someone like you I might still be married. But he could be afraid that he will lose you if he tells you how he feels. Most of the time we fear something that's not real and after we get though the first time it get easier and this maybe why he's not talking. But keep reassuring him that's it's OK to talk to you.
GLENDA
I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN
When i meet my wife now, i didn't even know what i did was called cross dressing, i just did it, i was fighting it on and off for years, i told her right off the bat, knowing she would be understanding, and really didn't want to hide it from her. She was the one that showed me a site similar to this one, and it helped me a lot with acceptance of this. In all of your posts you haven't said anything that you hadn't or wouldn't tell him, i wonder if it isn't a bad idea to show him this site, and let him read all about it. Would help him realize that he isn't the only one that does this. From your last post showing your convo, the two of you had, he is still fighting it big time, purge and rebuy, so ment times i lost count. Finlay you just give up the fight. Him saying that he is going to give it up may mean 2 things, 1 he really is going to try to, or 2 he just said that so you would think he has, and is going to go on keeping it hidden. How big was that garbage bag you found in the trunk of the car dear? if he dressed all the way, dresses bra, panties, shoes, the works, he may be fully hooked now, cant stop if he wanted to, but if he only done a few items, like panties a bra, he might be able to push it back for a while, even a few years.
I'm sorry that this internal fight we all gone threw is so hard for you now, his past relationship surly doesnt make it any easier for him to come to you, even though I'm sure he knows you are a totally different person, past hurts make it really hard to believe it. Hang in there, keep trying and trying to talk to him about it, He may be totally understanding how special a person you are, and really wanting to stop this, just for you, and more internal fighting is probably going to happen.
Corrine, I know that this isn't the result that you had hoped for. I hope that you won't get discouraged. Sadly, for some of us, purging is part of the process (dumb, huh?).
You asked what to do now. I think there is a clue in you last post. You say that you are tired of not being satisfied in "that department" and you wonder if you are going to have to keep an eye on your panties. Perhaps you are the one who is going to have to spice things up a bit. Maybe if you purchased some matching lingerie, something very silky and very sexy, for the two of you. Then, when it is time for well, you know :blushing:, you bring them out and insist he put them on. This is assuming, of course, that this is something that you are willing to do. As they say, talk is cheap. Perhaps a real demonstration will tilt the playing field and assure your partner that you truly do accept him.
Whatever happens Corrine, I wish the two of you happiness with one another and with yourselves.
Fulltime girl on the inside.
Lipstick=confidence
[SIZE=4]Holly[/SIZE]
It sounds like to me you are doing a great job. In time he will come out more and more. He knows that you know and are accepting. Give him some time and then talk to him again, if he hasn't talked to you.
This all will take time. But I think that making a special place in your home for his stuff will definitly help.
my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress
"Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"
talk, talk, talk
[SIZE=3]Corrine GG, Keep talking. You are right in the fact, IT WON'T JUST GO AWAY. CDing is a part of who he is. Somehow you have to convince him that it really is ok with you. Maybe take him to the store and buy him a pair of panties or an entire outfit. I'm not sure, but I do know that you have to keep the communication going. It does sound as if he is opening up to you but he is still afraid that you are going to freak on him. Just know that we are all pulling for you.CG GG[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Country Girl GG
[SIZE=3]The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]When you find something good... Grab it with both hands and do all you can do to keep it![/SIZE]
Corrine, You are in an area right now, that I know is not easy for you. You are taking the role of being the one to bring it out in the open, he is still in the denial stage. This is common for many CDs that are still fighting that battle within themselves. You cannot force him to understand what you are saying, but you can continue to let him know that it is alright. Show him this site, or perhaps others like this and maybe he will get the idea that you really accept and understand (the most important of the two) what he does. You are making excellant progress hon. Please be patient, he will eventually come around and open up.
Kandis
Posting Permissions
