A Couple Practical Questions

[ConfusedAndAfraid]

I'm a California college student, and have wanted to be a girl all my life. After doing some research on SRS and hormones over the course of many years, I'm still left with a couple questions that maybe someone can help me with:

First, and probably most important to me: I'm 6'3 and have size 14.5 feet. I have trouble getting men's shoes, let alone womens. Is it possible for me ever to be passable as a woman? As much as I want to be a woman, I'm deathly afraid that even after years of hormones and surgery, and thousands upon thousands of dollars, people walking by me on the street will still be able to tell I wasn't born a woman. I've spent a fair amount of time en femme in public, and, to be painfully honest, if I had to spend the rest of my life being treated the way I do when I'm out like that, I'll do without surgery or hormones. People can be awful, and I don't think I could live with the constant abuse.

Secondly, after looking over the end results of SRS, I'm not sure I'd be happy with the final product. Is genital reassignment the only option? Do hormones make the penis completly unusable sexually? If I could otherwise live as a woman, I might be willing to keep my penis over a surgically created vagina because surgically created vaginas just don't seem good enough.
As is, I have no problem tucking, and have yet to find a pair of panties (with the exception of very very skimpy thongs) that I couldn't wear comfortably for a prolonged period of time. If I were living full time as a woman, I'd rather do that then end up with a vagina I'm not happy with and am forced to live with.
From what I've read, there's about a 70% chance I'd be able to achieve orgasm after genital reassignment surgery. That seems like a pretty low percentage to gamble the rest of your sexual life on. I know that keeping the penis and/or testicles affects the results of hormones, how much of a difference does it make?

I know these are complicated questions. That's why I'm asking them. I'm at a point in my life where I feel I need to make some serious choices, I can't hide this or push it aside much longer.

Thank you for bearing with me, I know that wasn't much fun to read through. Any help is greatly appreciated.

[DonnaT]

There are a lot of TS's that do not go through GRS (SRS), so you won't (wouldn't) be alone.

As for passing, depends on what you desire to look like. If it's your fantasy girl, I emagine a lot of real women would't even pass.

When out, look at all the various women and body types and face types. What you'll see in common in women is the lack of need for makeup. With hormones, your features will soften and with perminant hair removal there will be no tell tale signs that you are not a woman.

The only thing left to give you away would be the voice. Sometimes surgery helps there and sometimes it doesn't.

The whole idea of transitioning, is to go as far as you are comfortable and happy with. You just have to reach a point of not caring whether you pass or not, and not caring what other's MAY be thinking. You are doing it for yourself.

Not much I can tell about the effect hormones will have on your sexual performance. Sorry.

Welcome to the Forum!

[donnie123abc1]

Size 14 feet !!!! You truely are a T R E E !!!! (And I mean that in a good way.)
Stop watching T.V and looking a magazines! The Women you see in them are not real !
Women come in all differnent shapes and sizes. Don't defeat yourself before you start by comparing yourself to others. The mirror is only a reflection of yourself...it is not YOU!!! Start working on the inside first....the results will show on the outside. Know who you want to be as a person. Its a slow proccess and sometimes it hurts, but in the end its well worth the effort! Being a REAL woman doesn't happen over night.

Good luck. We will be here to help you along on your adventure to becoming who you are ment to be. YOU!!!

Dawn Marrie "Thats Who I Be !"

[Fallen Angel]

hi just to let you know one of my closest cd freinds is 6"2now her foot is a little smaler than yours but knowbody steers at her when we go out unless there trying to pick up on her. as far as shoes theres a company on e-bay thats out of the U.K. that makes larger size shoes and there not to expensive hope this gives you some comfort. xxxxx

[crispy]

These are big issues.

If you want serious answers to your practical questions, I suggest you visit the Trannyweb or the Transgender Board. They can help you in much more depth than you will find on a crossdressing forum.

My viewpoint:
1. Be honest - you will probably never pass as a GG. I have the same problem. But that doesn't have to stop you from assuming the female role, just accept that you will need a lot of bottle.
2. You don't state your age, but I assume you are about twenty. Unless you have a history of serious gender dysphoria from childhood you are very probably very young to make these life changing decisions. I know it sounds corny, but you probably still have a lot of maturing to do.
3. Hormones, taken with care, will not make you sterile or dysfunctional. A lot of TGs report that when their function begins to deteriorate, they stop HRT for a while until the function returns. The re-modelling of the body on female lines (fatty tissue, breast growth and skin softening, for example) does not reverse to any great extent whilst you take a hormone holiday.
4. Get gender counselling if you are serious about hormones or SRS.

good luck.

[MarieTS]

Dear confuzed... Given your apprehension over losing your manhood I don't think you should consider SRS at this time. Sounds like you'd be happy going back-and-forth, which for many is fine.
Many others (like me) dream of dropping the P for a [B]V.
As for hormones, you can take spiralactone to diminsh the affects of androgens in your system, but yes, that would atrophy your male parts, which doesn't seem desirable to you at present.
It may take time to fully understand what's best for you, where as some of us have known since childhood. Just love yourself for who you are, and understand that you have many sisters in here willing to help.

Luv,
Marie

[ConfusedAndAfraid]

It isn't really fear over losing male parts, it's extreme concern about the alternatives. I've done a lot of reading about SRS, and I really came away unconvinced that the results were "good enough" for me. This isn't something I want to roll the dice with.

It's rather difficult, and a bit embarassing to explain, but for me it really is an almost all or nothing deal. I want to spend the rest of my life as a woman, without having to worry about people treating me differently because I started out life male.

Quite frankly, living out my life with every person I meet realizing I used to be a man sounds like complete hell to me, and I don't think I could do it. My interest in keeping male parts would be to wait until techniques have improved enough that I was happy with the majority of the results. Right now I'm not, and I'm scared that if I do take that step (SRS) I'll be unhappy with the result and have nowhere to turn.

I want to be as close to 100% woman as humanly possible. At this point the risk I'll end up far less than that is high enough that I think I'll wait before taking the chance. I would prefer to keep what I have and wait for a better option.
I hope this has explained things a bit more, I'm not sure how to clearly say what I'm thinking, if it doesn't make sense, I'll try and clear it up more.

[crispy]

you're no different to many potential transsexuals. many of them (us) are living the dream without taking the final steps.

have you started counselling? a gender dysphoria counsellor can give you much of the support and guidance you need.

have you sought advice on the websites I mentioned? so many people there can give you first hand advice from their very own experience.

[xsarahlynn]

I agree You should try to find a gender counseller. I have recently found one, and it has been great. It's so good to have someone to talk to, even if You don't go through with hormones or srs at this time. It a long hard journey to find out who You are and how far You want to go, And there is nothing wrong with seeking help to find Your way.

As for me I'm taking hormones, under a doctors care and love the results. But at my age I don't think I will ever have srs. I'm happy with the rest of my body looking more fem. And I don't think having srs will make me any happier or any less of a women, at least in my mind.


Good luck. Sarah Lynn

[Priss]

First off, you have to understand. There is no magical cure for what we have. The surgery, the therapy, the hormones, are all about getting through life the best way that we can. Those people who are constantly saying crap like "you'll never be a real woman", in a way are right. We will forever be comparing our experiences to the experiences of those who were born into the role.

You therefore have to come to an understanding with yourself, and figure out just what sort of lifestyle you'd be comfortable living. Keeping in mind that this is something that is never really going to go away for you, if you can live with being in your current form, then you should probably stay that way. This afterall, can be a very difficult road to walk. If you choose to walk it, there's plenty of support available out there. Some things however you'll just have to learn to deal with.