i am new to this forum. just found the site and i never knew there'd be a forum that has to do with cd.
anyways, i started off with wearing my sister's bras sometime during the early teen years. i just loved the soft feel of the satin or their soft-cup styling and with the panties later on. mind you, i have 5 sisters and they're all not the same body sizes (average to plus size). when i was left alone in the house, especially during the summer months when i was left responsible looking after the house, i'd find myself wearing their clothing, too. i couldn't help but love the feel of women's clothing. very comfortable and nice to wear, too. i even experimented with make-up, too! just feeling 'feminine' sure feels nice, doesn't it? that's how i felt and there is nothing better than to feel confident about yourself. but then, having 5 sisters and keeping track of their clothing took me a while to remember which bras or clothing to return to their rightful owners or to their drawers. boy, those were the days back then.
fast forward to my early adulthood when i started living alone in an apartment. i was hooked with wearing women's clothing and i starting stealing some of my sister's lingerie. i finally figured how the bra sizing and their band sizing best suited to my sizing. i felt that one of my sister's 38-D/DD bra sizing best suited for me, since she's only a year older than me and we're both about the same body size/proportions. i thought about purchasing bras from the local stores, but i wasn't ready yet. i was stealing lingerie and some clothing from my sister's drawers for a while (3-4 years) until i finally had the guts of buying lingerie from the store.
boy, it sure is nerve-wracking buying women's clothing from the local stores, especially where i happen to live in a small community where it's now under status of city about 6,500. i had to find reasons why i'd buy women's clothing when i'd be asked by the store clerks. i would answer in many ways and somehow, i'd leave the store with my 'girlie' purchases. this went on for a few years. then i switched to ordering from sears catalogues or from the wal-mart flyers. but still, it wasn't easy since the packages would show the sticker purchased item and i sometimes would find myself 'red-faced' picking up my packages from the local post office. i would get the strange look from the local postal workers but after a while it went away.
since i never knew about breast forms yet, i would usually fill the empty bra cups with socks, then with filling balloons with water. this went on for a period of time, about 7-8 years. then i somehow found myself looking at breast forms on the internet and i had to order a pair. i remember there is a phrase that goes something like this, "there is always a first time." yes, the first time i worn the breast forms, mind you silicone types, i felt like as if i were finally 'complete.' i felt so 'women-ly,' and i felt like i was in 'girlie' heaven, too.
but it wasn't easy and it still isn't easy to this day. i've been caught before more than a few times from one of my sisters (she was shocked!!), one of my brothers (disgusted look), and finally, my common-law (she had to threw away the breast forms). i would only cd in privacy when i would find myself alone in the house. it's just that those times where i got caught when i least expected it. i would openly discussed with my common-law more than a few times about my problem with cross-dressing and she would finally accept me and my ways, but after a while she doesn't want to stick with me anymore. since i will be leaving town, i'll finally have the opportunity to continue to cd in privacy once i start living on my own again.
anyways, that's not all. i feel more comfortable talking or having a conversation with women than men, and most of my friends are more likely women. i really don't know why i am like this. yet, i am comfortable as being a man, too. it's like as if i have two lives. sometimes i feel confused and lost, but i cannot changed the habit of cd. i just love the feel of women's clothing. if looks could be deceiving, i'd be clearly be the one. i am a man from the outside, but i am a woman from the inside. it's just who i am.
Originally Posted by diane59
