Your Feminine Personality

[Jacqui]

This is a question directed to: 1)Outies 2) Closet-eers

First, to those who are out to their SO's, family, friends, etc:
When dressed, do you take on a feminine personality very different than the one you have in drab? Changing your voice, demeanor, deportment, etc.? If so, how do these others react? I know that some will say, "I am who I am regardless of what clothes I wear." That's fine, but I think for others, there is another side.

Second, to Closet-eers similar to myself: Do you have an outlet to determine your feminine personality? Or do you just practice in the mirror? I find it almost impossible to know who Jacqui really is without any physical interaction with fellow human beings. I would like to know what kind of woman she is but without feedback, all that I know of her is in my imagination which is like an uncarved block of wood.

I know the "easy" solution would be to come out. However, if this would be equivalent to going faster than the speed of light (impossible according to Einstein, I think!), are there any other suggestions to bring the inner woman to the surface?

Jacqui

[DianaGomez]

Second, to Closet-eers similar to myself: Do you have an outlet to determine your feminine personality? Or do you just practice in the mirror? I find it almost impossible to know who Jacqui really is without any physical interaction with fellow human beings. I would like to know what kind of woman she is but without feedback, all that I know of her is in my imagination which is like an uncarved block of wood.

I know the "easy" solution would be to come out. However, if this would be equivalent to going faster than the speed of light (impossible according to Einstein, I think!), are there any other suggestions to bring the inner woman to the surface?

Jacqui

I know just what you mean and how you feel. Its impossible for me to come out really and truely (well I could but I'd have to give up my whole life, literally) and I wish I could find out just what kind of woman I am.

[Nancie64]

Like to get out a little but a trip to Walmart is to much. When I get the urge, I take a trip to the park and take a little stroll. Or take along a book and sit and read for a while. This way you can get out and meet nature and get the feel of sort of being out in the public. If you know of a walking path, have you SO drop you at one end and walk to a pick up point. Have her go around the block and wave as she goes by. Can be fun..

[angelfire]

All the practice I get is infront of the mirror. I'm not out, and as I still live at home, I have VERY little time to dress. Even when my parent's aren't around, we rent out rooms, so there is always 1 or 2 other people here. So if I go out for a walk, there is never a guarantee that when I get back someone else won't be back too. I have only had one chance to dress even around the house with no one home, and even then, while I went upstairs, my parents pulled in the driveway. Luckily, I had thought it a possibility and brought a pair of shorts up with me, which I just put on over my skirt.

However, they will be on vacation for 2 weeks as of friday, so who knows, maybe I'll have some more time to dress around the house.

[erickka]

I've been out shopping and to convenience stores while enfemme, but actually had no extraordinary interaction with anyone. I don't know if that is a good thing ( I blend in with everyone ) or a bad thing ( EWWWWW THAT"S A DUDE!!! ) but I still don't know how I come across to others. Maybe someday before I end up looking like Phyllis Diller.......

[PaulaJaneThomas]

In all the 20 odd years I've been going out and meeting other TGs (must be many, many 100s by now if not 1000+), I've yet to meet one who has a remotely feminine persona (as oppossed to an obviously fake girly act) regardless of where they are on the gender scale. No matter to what degree we may self-identify as female we're miles away from it. From a personal perspective this has actually worked in my favour as others have accepted me readily once they've realised that I'm the same person regardless of how I dress.

[DonnaT]

When fully dressed and out, I try to make some adjustments, such as how I sit (especially), and lighten my voice a tad, and some hand getures.

When around my wife, I don't dress fully, and make no changes in anything other than how I sit, as she likes to look up my skirt sometimes

[gennee]

[SIZE="4"]I sit differently when I'm dressed. Perhaps, I walk a little different. Surprisingly, I walk in heels rather well. I haven't altered my voice yet but I'm thinking about it.

Gennee[/SIZE]

:GE:

[Kate Simmons]

Well, according to the other thread running by Amanda, the GG's can tell who we are no matter what we do. I could have told you that in five words or less. There is just something about that extra "X" chromosome that cannot be synthesized. Despite all of that, I have been mistaken for a woman at times(by guys, not girls ) until I revealed myself. That's just me, however, as I WANT others to know who I really am and my basic personality is the same no matter how I present. Besides all of that, which has to do with tolerance issues, before I came out openly, I used to have conversations with me, myself and "Irene" and ask myself what I was trying to prove. The eventual answer was--just being myself.

[BarbaraTalbot]

..my only interaction has been with my wife. I am still me just a bit softer perhaps. I am a fairly good natural mimic, but haven't tried to apply my ear to effecting a feminine voice. I think my masculine vocal cords aren't going to resonate in that range naturally. I may feel different when I try an outing as a way to avoid being read, but I don;t think it would be about my femme persona so much as the equivalent of beard cover.

I had to consciously learn masculine movements, stance, and gestures in my youth to slow the rate of teasing. So now when I try to effect a femme pose, I just think of myself as a child, not specifically a GG.

I do find myself mugging in the mirror though because my male side didn't like photos, mirror time or really even smiling unless it happened spontaneously (which wasn't as often as I would consider healthy.

I think your mirror time is probably a little productive if it helps you to feel confidant later when you do have a chance to present to someone else or in public. Not unreasonable, I think since I notice a lot of GG's checking their reflection on surfaces to make sure they are presenting the image that makes them confident.

So, Barbara is me but there is a difference, she is more me than I am. On the one hand as Barbara I am pretty immature, I haven't presented her to the world for the last 38 years, so she is still in chrysalis stage, much as Jacqui seems to be. On the other hand she hasn't had to endure taunts and teasing and develop a thick skin that has evolved on my male persona over 42 years. Real GG's go through there own buffetings and ugly duckling to swan moments, so that, I think has a lot to do with the catching up that we have to do and realistically cannot achieve.

[Toyah]

I really dont try but have been told that when dressed I am fem, bizzare huh!!!!

[Janice Ashton]

I find Louise makes her own way in life and how she comes across to others is irrelevant as far as she is concerned.

There are fundemental differences when dressed and out and about between her and my normal male persona, but as hard as I try, I will never be able to match the years of experience a GGirl has, as could be said for female to male CD's TG's perhaps?

[Fab Karen]

"I gotta be me" boy or girl, I'm just me. Some slightly more feminine movements as a girl, but otherwise it's just the same.
For the girls who think they have a split personality, rent the movie "Sybil" and compare.

[RobertaFermina]

I have a different composure and expression than Bob. More outgoing, more of an instigator, can stand up to a challenge, feel more blessed and compassionate. I do have a different voice and deportment.

Drives my daughter crazy....she's downright rude about it...another reason I don't linger around her when I am dressed...

My granddaughter, however, loves me regradless, and calls me 'papa' or 'grandpa' no matter what I'm wearing...and tries on my wigs and earrings whenever she can get her hot little hands on them

Other than around my daughter, Roberta is Roberta is Roberta....


Roberta

[Phoebe Reece]

I get out quite a bit. I would have to say that my personality is the same regardless of how I am dressed. However, when in femme mode, I do make a concious effort to moderate my voice, hand gestures, walk, etc. to give a more feminine appearance. I do not see this as being an altered personality. It is simply part of my presentation, which is similar to what an actor on stage does when "in character".

[Ruth]

Well this is a good question and I wish I had time to do it justice. I am out to my wife and one close friend, and yes, when I am Ruth I am different in a couple of ways to my manself.
My posture and walk changes, I am more active in facial expression and hand gestures, my voice is a little higher (this is not a conscious voice straining, just happens that way).
I don't go along with this split personality stuff, but Ruth is what I would call a subpersonality who embodies all my feminine attitudes and characteristics. So when I let her out I am definitely more feminine.
And I would agree that one only realises (in the sense of makes real) one's personality by interacting with other people, so the closeteers have a problem there. This forum is great but it's not the same as "live" interaction.

[jackieo]

My wife says there is no difference between Jackie and drab fore the exception of in bed she said Jackie is more soft and sensitive to here feelings and and vary gentle to the touch but I have had a Lot of practice being a women since this is what I have grown up doing.
Jackie
Ps I have to remember to be a man the women part is easy.

[SherriePall]

When I have been out dressed, I am more deliberate, soft spoken, and try to effect the mannerisms of a GG. Personality-wise, I believe I am the same (at least in my interactions with SA's who know about both my male and femme sides).
Since my wife hasn't seen me yet, I can't answer that part of the question.

[Sally24]

First, to those who are out to their SO's, family, friends, etc:
When dressed, do you take on a feminine personality very different than the one you have in drab? Changing your voice, demeanor, deportment, etc.? If so, how do these others react?
Jacqui

Of course! I "play" a man in male mode just as much as I "play" a woman in female mode. I remember learning what moves to make and not make as a boy and now I am relearning some of those same moves and mannerisms. The personallity itself is not so much different, but there are some. Sally is much more easy going and a better listener than S**** is. They treat Sally like a friend but usually another person than my male mode. My wife treats Sally much differently from S****.

[caroledwina]

subtle thing.

The more dressed I am the less judgemental, controlling, domineering I become (not that I'm the goat-head killer or anything, but . . . )

a bit more giggly and campy - basically letting the male ego kick back for a little while and just feel . . . ummmm . . . rather soft actually.

Thinking about it makes me mildly aroused but I get the impression one isn't expected to dwell on such things in here.

Carly

[Angie G]

I'm out to my wife and when I dress my demeanor changes a bit not much but a bit
Angie

[Krystenw]

I didn't think I was any different which ever way I was dressed.
But my wife and I were in the dollar store the other day. We stopped in on the way to the movie so I had on a nice dress and my jewelry and makeup.
There was a little old lady there that was having some problems with the gal at the other counter. The clerk was being a total jerk and she said something to the lady that made her cry.
That's when I came uncorked.
I read her the riot act and demanded that she get the manager there and that she had better appologize or I would see to it that she would looser her job.
I was so mad I totally forgot that I had on a dress.
I most generally never even try to change my voice. I don't know how and am too old to learn.
But after we left the store, my wife told me she was proud of me for defending the lady and said she hoped it never happened again, because she said she thought that I had changed places with my mother. She said I sounded just like she used to when she got angry. The only thing is she died eight years ago.

[Jacqui]

Thanks for all of your replies, many of them are very insightful.

I realize that it is virtually impossible to make up for all the ingredients that creates a woman from a little girl: in addition to chromosomes, hormones, etc, the experiential learning that occurs over the course of years is the main ingredient in the evolution of one's personality and it cannot be duplicated.
Too bad, no one can give a crash course!

Reading Amanda's thread (which I somehow missed, sorry!) about how GG's react to their CD/TG SO's and how they can mostly pick out the fool's gold from the real thing, it is a little discouraging to think that the whole personality thing can't be mastered to make up for any physical deficits.

As far as I am concerned, I don't hate my male self or the life I live... I just fervently wish that I was born female, so it's a lot more than CD'ing, but not enough to make me go off the deep end. I totally accept the fact that I will never pass for a woman, but as dreams keep some people going, unrealistic as they may be, this one keeps me going.

Some of you have hinted that you change the way you walk, sit, talk...that you may be less agressive, more at peace..in my fantasies and imagination, here are some of the differences in personality I see between Jack (not my real name) and Jacqui:

Upon greeting a friend:
Jack: "Hey, Dave, how's it going?"
Jacqui: "Hiiiiiiii, Claire!! I'm so happy to see you! What a beautiful blouse!"

What to do today:
Jack: "You wanna watch the game tonight?"
Jacqui: "Want to come to the mall with me. Maybe you can help me pick out a LBD to wear to dinner Friday night!"

When will you be ready?
Jack: "I'll be there in 5 minutes."
Jacqui: "I just have to change and fix my make-up. Maybe about 40 minutes?"

After the sad movie:
Jack: "That was the worst piece of cr*p I've ever seen!"
Jacqui: (wiping away the tears and sniffing into the tissue) "Such a touching movie!" To Jack: "How can you be so insensitive?"

Opening up the door
Jack: "Here, let me get that for you"
Jacqui: "Oh, thank you! You're such a gentleman!"

I think you can see the differences in personality. I just wish that I could somehow experience them!

[Cindi Ann Kelly]

My feminine personality manifests itself weather I am dressed or not. The mood that I am in at the moment, determines which
personality is conveyed to others. Since becoming a member
of this forum, my feminine personality is almost 24/7. It is
truly wonderful to be able to openly discuss these issues with
others.

thanks to all

Cindi

[JoAnnDallas]

When I go out in public, I try to walk and act as fem as possible. I have not had to use my fem voice a lot, but try to keep it soft as possible. So far, the times I have been in public, I seem to blend in enough that any masculain actions have not been noticed.
It is hard to remember to walk one way when fem and another when drab. Same for mannerisms, actions, and voice. But practice will help to the switch easier each time.