Does being enfemme create a heterosexual experience?

[Wickanne GG]

To date, I have meet 11 CDs…I had a short, intimate relationship with one.

I cannot count the number of posts I have read where a CD will claim that being a CD does not equate to being gay, it does not equate to being bi-sexual. Of the eleven CDs I have met not one was truly heterosexual in the traditional sense. Some had homosexual experiences, some fantasized about having homosexual experiences, and a couple of them had homosexual experiences and continue to fantasize about homosexual experiences, but all of them claimed it was only while enfemme. They all claimed to have no attraction to men and they all claimed to be heterosexual and only want to be with a woman. Some wanted to be with a dominant woman. Dominance is a trait strongly associated with men.
I have read many of the posts in this forum, but I don’t seem to ever find an answer to a question in the forums or from a conversation. Likely, I’m probably not asking the right one and few will elaborate beyond a point blank question. It’s the old, “If she doesn’t ask, I won’t tell”, mentality that drives women nuts and causes a lot of unnecessary grief.

My question is, does being emfemme create the illusion of a heterosexual experience for you? Does being dressed like a female set your mind in a mode/state where you believe that sex with another male is a heterosexual experience? I am not certain which of those questions would be clearer for your understanding of what I am trying to ask.

I understand that having fantasies and acting on those fantasies are two different things. I am also aware that the definition of the words 'fantasy' and 'desire' are often confused by the general population.

I have nothing against someone exploring their sexuality, but I do have an issue with CDs claiming to be heterosexual yet still wanting homosexual experiences. It does seem to be an issue I share with many GGs.
Having said that, is it okay for you to conceal your past homosexual activities/current homosexual fantasies from your SO? Hmmm, that’s probably another thread topic.


Wickanne

[Karren H]

Well ya never met me.. Lol. Heterosexual and faithful to the wife of 31 years!!! And I'm not really a sexual person per say but sex with another man just doesn't even peak my curiosity.. Zip.. Nothing...

Karren

[Stephenie S]

"Well ya never met me.. Lol. Heterosexual and faithful to the wife of 31 years!!! And I'm not really a sexual person per say but sex with another man just doesn't even peak my curiosity.. Zip.. Nothing...

Karren"


Nor me. I am in a loving, committed, and monogamous relationship with my dear partner. She is all and everything I could ever want. I have had many oportunities for a homosexual relationship over my lifetime. I never felt the need or the desire.

Many seem to, however. Enough so that we would be hard put to say it wasn't a major feature in the CD experience. As I have said before, "Whatever floats yer boat".

As long as you take full responsibility for your actions within your own relationship, I see no reason to reject or criticise it.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[KandisTX]

To date, I have meet 11 CDs…I had a short, intimate relationship with one.

I cannot count the number of posts I have read where a CD will claim that being a CD does not equate to being gay, it does not equate to being bi-sexual. Of the eleven CDs I have met not one was truly heterosexual in the traditional sense. Some had homosexual experiences, some fantasized about having homosexual experiences, and a couple of them had homosexual experiences and continue to fantasize about homosexual experiences, but all of them claimed it was only while enfemme. They all claimed to have no attraction to men and they all claimed to be heterosexual and only want to be with a woman. Some wanted to be with a dominant woman. Dominance is a trait strongly associated with men.
I have read many of the posts in this forum, but I don’t seem to ever find an answer to a question in the forums or from a conversation. Likely, I’m probably not asking the right one and few will elaborate beyond a point blank question. It’s the old, “If she doesn’t ask, I won’t tell”, mentality that drives women nuts and causes a lot of unnecessary grief.

My question is, does being emfemme create the illusion of a heterosexual experience for you? Does being dressed like a female set your mind in a mode/state where you believe that sex with another male is a heterosexual experience? I am not certain which of those questions would be clearer for your understanding of what I am trying to ask.

I understand that having fantasies and acting on those fantasies are two different things. I am also aware that the definition of the words 'fantasy' and 'desire' are often confused by the general population.

I have nothing against someone exploring their sexuality, but I do have an issue with CDs claiming to be heterosexual yet still wanting homosexual experiences. It does seem to be an issue I share with many GGs.
Having said that, is it okay for you to conceal your past homosexual activities/current homosexual fantasies from your SO? Hmmm, that’s probably another thread topic.


Wickanne

1. I am a Heterosexual Male who crossdresses. Even if I were to fantasize about being with a man, that does not make me homosexual, it would make me more of a bi-curious status. Then again, here we go with the "labels" topic once more. As a man, I am sexually attracted to women, and that is whom I find as my partners. Have I had fantasies about men? most likely, but I don't recall any of them. Would I ever act on any of those fantasies? Doubtful. There are many CDs that are heterosexual who may or may not fantasize about being with a male, that does not make them homosexuals, nor does it make them bi-sexual. What it does make them is human.

2. As to concealing your sexual past from an SO. In my opinion, this is NEVER a good idea, unless you were unfaithful to them in one of them then that's entirely on you anyway. Concealing the fact that you had a homosexual trist would be like say playing Russian roullette and loading all the chambers but one. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Take for instance, God forbid, you are dianosed with an STD that was unknown to you before your current relationship, explain to your SO how you caught said disease when the ONLY way to transfer it is through contact of a sexual nature or through the exchange of body fluids. If you had told your SO that you were a virgin before you met, and you have this disease, that trust that should be there in the relationship is now gone.


Kandis

[Toyah]

No I find the male form repulsive sexually whether dressed or not
I can assure you I have never had and certainly do not wish to have any such experiance TVM

[Elsbeth]

Another vote for just into girls regardless of how I am dressed - or which persona is manifest at the moment. My sexual orientation remains constant, I like women.

El

[RobertaFermina]

I am *historically* heterosexual.
In 32 years since my first sexual experience, I had one homosexual "sexual" experience.
I have had a handful of experiences of the beauty, a feminine beauty, in a man that I was attracted to.
I have had numerous moments when I thought "what a stud!" a man was, though I never felt sexual attraction alongside that.

I reserve the right to change, or discover I have repressed parts of myself that are relevant to my sexual orientation.

I believe I am attracted to femininity in women and in men.

I am ready to discover that I gladly share this with like minded persons.

I am happy to perform as a mostly masculine being. As for the other side of the plate...it remains only a curious, though tempting possibility!

I did make a date once, and he cancelled....I'm patient...waiting for Mr. or 'Ms.' Right.....but I believe I AM Waiting !

What allows me to be honest about this is to realize that a whole new world of human experience is awaiting me, and it would be a deeper shame to let any shame about appearances prevent me going wherever my soul has decreed its happy destiny !


Roberta

[Deborah Jane]

Men just don,t do anything for me, it doesn,t matter what i wear i,ve never had the slightest interest in men sexually!! Nuff said!!

[Wickanne GG]

Seems the background information may be interfering with the actual question. Let's try just the question:

My question is, does being emfemme create the illusion of a heterosexual experience for you? Does being dressed like a female set your mind in a mode/state where you believe that sex with another male is a heterosexual experience? I am not certain which of those questions would be clearer for your understanding of what I am trying to ask.

If men do nothing for you then this question wouldn't apply to you.

If you have had/are having relations with a man then this question would apply to you.


Wickanne

[Cheyenne Skye]

Let me start out by saying I have only been with (2) women in my life. My wife has confessed that she once had a relationship with another woman and considers herself bisexual. I suppose I should classify myself as bi-curious. However the only "male" that interests me would be an attractive "she-male" that to all outwards appearances is a woman and you would only know the difference once undressed. This applies whether I'm dressed or not. So I am definitely attracted to the more feminine aspects of people.

[Veronica Fallon]

Hmmm... this seems to be a complicated issue throughout the entire realm of transgenderism. Even the professionals don't always agree.

I myself am really only attracted to females, meaning I'm not drawn to the appearance of males. However, I can very thoroughly enjoy sex with the right guy too. The only guys I find acceptable are slim/slender, smooth-skinned, soft-featured, & humble-natured. In "guy-mode" I prefer a male partner to be rather feminine in stature & appearance. As Veronica, I can accept a man with the above qualities, but either built slightly (like a woman) or also built buff (like a medium body-building man). My ideal for sex with a male is another very feminine T-girl, with substantial "maleness" where it counts!

I guess that makes me a: Primarily hetro-sexual, trans-gendered, sexually submissive (I like BDSM too), totally bisexual, human mammal, who likes pizza, beer, adventure & sensuality!

Call me whatever ya want, as long as you end with a compliment about my femininity!!

Hugz,

Veronica

P.S.- After reading your added post, I'd like to add that my own personal view on the subject is that the labels of "hetro" VS. "bi" are established by biological gender, as opposed to gender-identity. If your partner has the same "panty-prizes" as you, it's a bisexual experience... period! Justifying it otherwise may make it easier to swallow (pun intended) but doesn't change the primary definition. Just MHO....

[Daphne Renee]

To date, I have meet 11 CDs…I had a short, intimate relationship with one.

My question is, does being emfemme create the illusion of a heterosexual experience for you? Does being dressed like a female set your mind in a mode/state where you believe that sex with another male is a heterosexual experience? I am not certain which of those questions would be clearer for your understanding of what I am trying to ask.



Wickanne

Thats a question that will get you different answers for different people. Me personally I dont have a desire to be with men. I am not attracted to men while enfemme or in drab. I dont think there are many who would really believe a homosexual experience is anything other than just that.

If I understand your post correctly you don't consider someone heterosexual if they had some fantasies about being dominated or other things.. This is just my opinion but it does seem like a very narrow view of heterosexuality.

[Wickanne GG]

If I understand your post correctly you don't consider someone heterosexual if they had some fantasies about being dominated or other things.. This is just my opinion but it does seem like a very narrow view of heterosexuality.

Quite the opposite. I am a little more educated than that :-) thanks to being brought up in a liberal minded environment.


Wickanne

[Fab Karen]

Sounds like the question you're really asking is, does being a CD cause gay feelings? The answer is no. Sexuality is there regardless of ever starting to CD. Some people use CD'ing as an "excuse" to explore what they've been afraid to in male mode. If you went out & talked to a bunch of gay men, you'd hear them tell you that a lot of them went through a period of denial.

[Wickanne GG]

Sounds like the question you're really asking is, does being a CD cause gay feelings? The answer is no. Sexuality is there regardless of ever starting to CD. Some people use CD'ing as an "excuse" to explore what they've been afraid to in male mode. If you went out & talked to a bunch of gay men, you'd hear them tell you that a lot of them went through a period of denial.

No, that is not what I am asking, nor am I implying it. CDing doesn't "cause" gay feelings. To my knowledge nothing "causes" gay feelings..the root of "gay feelings" is biology.


Wickanne

[Alice B]

Have never had a homosexual experience and do not think about it when dressed. I do think about having sex with a woman that is open to my dressing. Of course I love my wife and would never cheat on her, but I can not dress in front of her, thus can only have dreams. This is strange because once, before we got married she allowed me to dress in panties and nylons and she did my make up. We then make love like rabbits, but I think this relates to the newness of our relationship, the sexual attraction that goes with it and the fact that we were 17 years younger than we are today. But, hope springs eternal.

[Wickanne GG]

...I do think about having sex with a woman that is open to my dressing...

That actually opens up something I never thought about before. I am sure there must be a thread about it on the site already, but I'll go for the quick answer.

I assumed that when a man is making love to a woman while he is enfemme he would feel very 'male'. So I'll flip my question for you. Do you think you would feel femme or masculine in that situation? If you felt femme, would you see it as a lesbian or a heterosexual encounter?


Wickanne

[AmberTG]

My answer may be a bit different then most. I consider myself to be bisexual, with most of my tendencies going toward women. However, I do find myself attracted to certain men, although there is no "type" that I'm attracted to, it just randomly happens, although not all that often. I have always had this fantasy about having sex with a man as a woman, quite difficult with my current anatomy!
I've only had 1 actual sexual relationship with another man, and that happened when I was 16 and went on for about 6-8 months before peer pressure got to me. He definitely took the "male" role and I was the "female" in the relationship. I did then, and still consider that to have been a homosexual relationship. I base that on anatomy, not mindset. That's just the way I am.
I can be dominant or submissive in a relationship with a woman, but, for me, how I label it is always based on anatomy. My cursed logical mind at work.
Hopefully, my answer makes some sense in light of your question.

[Mary Morgan]

I'm probably off the mark here, but I need to comment on these questions. What I read, hear, see, and feel about crossdressing is that for whatever reason, most of us enjoy it, find it comforting, relaxing, exciting, even right. That being said, it seems to me that it would follow that a crossdresser might well enjoy sex or anything else more while en femme. As for me, I would love to make love to my wife while dressed, but that isn't going to happen. She is the one who is hung up on what that would be called, not me. I understand her feelings even if I don't understand my own.

[Susan Anne]

That actually opens up something I never thought about before. I am sure there must be a thread about it on the site already, but I'll go for the quick answer.

I assumed that when a man is making love to a woman while he is enfemme he would feel very 'male'. So I'll flip my question for you. Do you think you would feel femme or masculine in that situation? If you felt femme, would you see it as a lesbian or a heterosexual encounter?


Wickanne

I feel/act/talk/percieve like a woman when en femme. This would include typical female activities such as shopping, chatting, home decor and etc. but could also include sports or other so-called "man" stuff. However these all would be experienced by me from a female outlook and point of view. I am not attracted to men sexually and desire only women. Therefore in making love to a woman en femme I see it for myself as a lesbian experience since en femme I identify as lesbian. The lovemaking would take on a female to female flavor.

[CourtneyinTaylor]

I am married to a wonderful woman. Yet i am bi. i have urges for certain male companionship i guess is the safest way to say it. My wife knows this and tell me to act on it as she knows she can not give me what i want. Although i have never done anything with another man dressed it does peak an interest.

There was a report on the radio one day talking about a large group of black men being on the dl (down low). it talked about many professional men going out having sex with other men, yet still living a "strait" life. these men considered themselves as strait. Though to me and and the show hosts they were bi or even gay as some of them would only have sex with men. To me sexuality is not a state of mind other wise their would be no categories it would just be people having sex.

Today's society has given us 3 groups, strait gay or bi. In the TG community its not so black and white. there are the 3 plus trans bi sexual a person that will be with the same genetic sex as them but ONLY when dressed. It has become such a state of mind thing that i don't think many will ever truly know or admit to what society has given them.

[Alex!]

Yup. I'm straight. Very straight, to be sure. In fact, I dislike when women see me en femme because I prefer to be in male mode around them. In a sense, corssdressing is a form of costume-wearing, with clothes and makeup selected because it makes me feel relaxed and, somehow, less reserved. I think I am much more pleasant to be around when en femme.

[DonnaT]

There has only been one person I've ever been sexually attracted to, ever. That's my wife. Married 32 years today.

[kassandra richard]

There has only been one person I've ever been sexually attracted to, ever. That's my wife. Married 32 years today.

A hearty tip o' the glass to you Donna We just celebrated my parents' 41st and my wife and I are half a year into our 15th. Congratulations and here's to many more.

Kassandra

[Chantelle CD]

My question is, does being emfemme create the illusion of a heterosexual experience for you? Does being dressed like a female set your mind in a mode/state where you believe that sex with another male is a heterosexual experience?

When i am dressed i feel i am a woman 100% All my movements, feelings, reflect this. So yes, i do fantasize about being with a man at times i become aroused while dressed, though it is not very often, mostly times i am feeling very sexy and pretty, i dont tend to dress that part very much, most of my dressing is to just be one of the girls. But i can say that, me as myself, am totally heterosexual, In fact this is where a lot of my inner battles with this in myself come from. Will i ever have an experaince with a man as chantelle? i dont think so. Why? Decause in order to do this, i would have to strip down and expose my male self, and i would lose it all, that fast. Though just maybe, with the right kind of man, i could be oral, without disrobing, cuddle and kiss, typing this now, as myself now though, i think nooooo way!!! But when i flick that switch, and i let her out full force, i think that can happen maybe. My male side would jump to the surface if i exposed myself, and would run for the door!!! not to say there is anything wrong with being gay, i have a few friends that are, and there the greatest non judgmental people i know!! Chantelle knows there is a fine line here, and wont cross it without conditions, but...both of us would be open to roll playing with a female. BTW those that know me, my SO had left me, not because of my CD'ing, she was always open to this part of me, she has some issues she is trying to deal with, on top of having a chemical imballance and fighting depression, and relationships. I wont bore you all with this story, not even in a seperate thread, but i am having a hard time, most likely if not for chantelle, this would be a lot harder on me. but yes to answer your question, its possable, yes i do sound sort of split personalityish, even though they are both me, they are so totaly different in a lot of ways, and the more i let her come out more and more, her personality is becoming whole faster than i can believe, and its scary, and amazingly rewarding for me.