Does being enfemme create a heterosexual experience?

[goofus]

When I typed that, let's just say I was a very confused and unsure how to get across what I was trying to figure out. Sixty replies late...I am a lot less confused.

I have had many conversations over the past few days and there are men who do enjoy CD and have no desires to be with men in fantasy or real life. I don't know if YOU would still class them as a CD or not, but that's the label they use.


Wickanne

Sure, I'd classify them as CD. A CD is a guy that likes to dress as a woman (not just for a show as in a drag queen), no matter what their sexual orientation.
For myself, I can't say that I have *no* desire to be with a man, I have some curiosity there, but I think in my heart of hearts I prefer women. Trouble is, women don't usually prefer CD's...

[camera_laura]

I think my thread just got hi-jacked...lol

Hope that I didn't contribute to the hi-jacking!

Here's a reminder of what this thread is about:

Seems the background information may be interfering with the actual question. Let's try just the question:

My question is, does being emfemme create the illusion of a heterosexual experience for you? Does being dressed like a female set your mind in a mode/state where you believe that sex with another male is a heterosexual experience?

No. I would say that this would be the farthest thing from my mind.

If you have had/are having relations with a man then this question would apply to you.

Doesn't apply to me, but I would have to say that this is an excellent question, based on what it appears that you are trying to find out.

Now let me step on my for just a second....

It never fails to amaze me just how ignorant the general population is regarding CD/TV/TG.

By the same token, I am impressed at just how intelligent the discussions are on this forum. While I am a newbie and have seen a couple of complaints, I have not experienced *anything* other that courtesy and very well reasoned discourse.

Thank you *all* for your genuine/relevant/intelligent participation. But most of all, let's give a big to our moderators and/or sponsors.

Just my

[Bonnie D]

Hi Wickanne,

Sorry about the "Wich" part.

I can definitely see why you would be confused, it is something that has been confusing for me all my life. Being two different people per se and subjugating one due to non-acceptance. "Okay, we are alone now so you can get dressed. Put on some pretty, sexy clothes and come out for a little while." "This is fine and I really enjoy it but I want to experience being with a man, I am a woman you know." "No, you can't I have made commitments." It is not something that is easy to tell someone else who you have feelings for although it is something that should definitely be discussed before commitments are made. When they are not, everyone gets hurt eventually.

Bonnie

[Wickanne GG]

Susan Anne

I used your post to me as a quote in another thread I started. I just occurred to me that I should have asked you first. I apologize.
If you don’t want your reply used in the context of the other thread then send me a PM and I’ll remove it.

Goofus

For myself, I can't say that I have *no* desire to be with a man, I have some curiosity there, but I think in my heart of hearts I prefer women. Trouble is, women don't usually prefer CD's...

By being true to yourself you will be true to others. The one thing I find very sexy about a man, regardless of the clothing, is honesty. I am certain there are many women who will accept you for you, after you accept yourself. 0.02

Camera Laura

I just think you may be off in a world of your own, but we luv ya.

Bonnie D

I only have the same 0.02 I replied to Goofus.


Wickanne

[goofus]

Goofus



By being true to yourself you will be true to others. The one thing I find very sexy about a man, regardless of the clothing, is honesty. I am certain there are many women who will accept you for you, after you accept yourself. 0.02



Wickanne

Well thank you for that, Anne, I hope you're correct

[Sweet Jane]

Of the eleven CDs I have met not one was truly heterosexual in the traditional sense.

I am strictly heterosexual. Whether I am dressed in womens clothes or not, the thought of any kind of intimacy with a guy (or anyone (CD etc) with guys anatomy) is very distasteful. Appreciate this is just how I feel, and I'm certainly not condemning others sexuality.

Some wanted to be with a dominant woman. Dominance is a trait strongly associated with men.

I also don't have any real interest in being dominated....nor do I wish to dominate anyone else



My question is, does being emfemme create the illusion of a heterosexual experience for you?

Sexually, I can only suppose, if being dressed as a woman can be interpretted by some here as consigning me to the female role, then I am only interested in a woman to woman relationship. I still view this relationship as strictly heterosexual though, as really, I am a man.

Does being dressed like a female set your mind in a mode/state where you believe that sex with another male is a heterosexual experience?

No...I would view this as a homosexual experience.


Having said that, is it okay for you to conceal your past homosexual activities/current homosexual fantasies from your SO?

hmmmm past homosexual actiities??..I have none to conceal, but really past relationships are just that aren't they?...maybe they are best left there?



Wickanne

thats my 2 cents anyway..hope it helps

[missattitude]

Well, I use to think that I was a straight crossdresser/heterosexual, but now that I let my true feelings come out I have been with a man ever since and probably will never date a girl as long as I live. I love to dress, love everything about crossdressing, and of course, I am one hundred percent gay. I find it peculiar that the majority of crossdressers are straight guys that have wives and stuff. How different people can be. There is never a time though, before I was first with a guy that I wanted to be with a guy. It kind of made me this way. So, as many of the posts say they are 100 percent straight, I am here to say I am 100 pecernt gay!!!

Miss Thang

[Michelle37]

Well, I use to think that I was a straight crossdresser/heterosexual, but now that I let my true feelings come out I have been with a man ever since and probably will never date a girl as long as I live. I love to dress, love everything about crossdressing, and of course, I am one hundred percent gay. I find it peculiar that the majority of crossdressers are straight guys that have wives and stuff. How different people can be. There is never a time though, before I was first with a guy that I wanted to be with a guy. It kind of made me this way. So, as many of the posts say they are 100 percent straight, I am here to say I am 100 pecernt gay!!!

Miss Thang

what? you saying cd made you gay or the guy made you gay?

[CourtneyinTaylor]

I am married to a wonderful woman. Yet i am bi. i have urges for certain male companionship i guess is the safest way to say it. My wife knows this and tell me to act on it as she knows she can not give me what i want. Although i have never done anything with another man dressed it does peak an interest.

There was a report on the radio one day talking about a large group of black men being on the dl (down low). it talked about many professional men going out having sex with other men, yet still living a "strait" life. these men considered themselves as strait. Though to me and and the show hosts they were bi or even gay as some of them would only have sex with men. To me sexuality is not a state of mind other wise their would be no categories it would just be people having sex.

Today's society has given us 3 groups, strait gay or bi. In the TG community its not so black and white. there are the 3 plus trans bi sexual a person that will be with the same genetic sex as them but ONLY when dressed. It has become such a state of mind thing that i don't think many will ever truly know or admit to what society has given them.

[Sally24]

Of the eleven CDs I have met not one was truly heterosexual in the traditional sense. Some had homosexual experiences, some fantasized about having homosexual experiences, and a couple of them had homosexual experiences and continue to fantasize about homosexual experiences, but all of them claimed it was only while enfemme.

I would have to say that your definition of heterosexual is very narrow if you can't even have fantasies outside of that mold. I would think that would put at least 40% of "heterosexual" males in a non-traditional catagory.

Since you have "met" 11 CD's we can assume that they are out and about in public to some extent. The CD's that go out in public are a tiny fraction of the Cd's that exist in the population so they aren't a very representative sample. It's kind of like sampling all the men that climb Mt. Everest and expecting the results to be in line with the average male in the general population.

And finally, many of us are boderline transexuals. We are not turned on by the clothes or the makeup. We wish to be treated as females when dressed. To be treated as females invariably means interaction with the other half of the species, males! It may be an attraction to the feminine experience more than an attraction to the males. I know I appreciate, and maybe even desire sometimes, social interaction with males. I do not desire a sexual relationship but a close social relationship would be ok.

Hope my 2 cents helps a little with an understanding.

PS - Concealing homosexual experiences from an SO is probably a bad thing, but not sharing "fantasies" is just a privacy issue.

[Wickanne GG]

I would have to say that your definition of heterosexual is very narrow if you can't even have fantasies outside of that mold. I would think that would put at least 40% of "heterosexual" males in a non-traditional catagory.

Since you have "met" 11 CD's we can assume that they are out and about in public to some extent. The CD's that go out in public are a tiny fraction of the Cd's that exist in the population so they aren't a very representative sample. It's kind of like sampling all the men that climb Mt. Everest and expecting the results to be in line with the average male in the general population.

I believe I covered this in post #20, #59, #62, and possibly #69 also.

And finally, many of us are boderline transexuals. We are not turned on by the clothes or the makeup. We wish to be treated as females when dressed. To be treated as females invariably means interaction with the other half of the species, males! It may be an attraction to the feminine experience more than an attraction to the males. I know I appreciate, and maybe even desire sometimes, social interaction with males. I do not desire a sexual relationship but a close social relationship would be ok.

Hope my 2 cents helps a little with an understanding.

PS - Concealing homosexual experiences from an SO is probably a bad thing, but not sharing "fantasies" is just a privacy issue.

You make a good point about being attracted to the "..feminine experience more than an attraction to the males."

I am curious and feel free not to answer if you so choose. Do you crave the same/similar social interaction with males when you are in drab?


Wickanne

[Rachel Morley]

My question is, does being emfemme create the illusion of a heterosexual experience for you? Does being dressed like a female set your mind in a mode/state where you believe that sex with another male is a heterosexual experience?

For me personally ... no. Having sex with another male is what it is .... not heterosexual. However, I can kinda see how some folks might wonder about this. It's the whole "bi when dressed" issue which a real hot potato in my view. Also, going on some of what we know, CDers, just like everyone else in the world, "can be" just as homophobic as anyone else if that's their inclination.

[missattitude]

what? you saying cd made you gay or the guy made you gay?

Right from the start I new I was different from others. So the crossdressing probably had nothing to do with me being gay, I just noticed/ became a Crossdresser before I became gay.

[Michelle37]

wickanne you might wanna read this thread to Attraction to same sex? Related to TV/TSism? its got some good stuff in it.