I'm Confussed (I have urges to dress up)

[holly1225]

Hello,
Ok, I have this problem, and I have no one I can talk to about this so I came here to try and meet some new friends and get some opinions. I am new here so I will try to make this quick.

I am a 19 year old boy and I am straight, but my problem is for years now, I always have urges to dress up in womans clothing, although I haven't yet, I did buy an outfit and I feel really good about that. My problem is I don't know what to do. I don't know what my friends will think of me or how my family will think. I don't know what I should do or if I do end up dressing up for the first time, where I could go.

I just feel like I am lost and didn't know who else to go or talk to, so I came here hoping for the best. Please, if you can help me or give me some advice, please do. Thank you so much.




[SIZE="4"]Thank you to everyone who has helped me. I didn't know what to expect here, but you all have been so nice and helpful to me and it feels really good. Thank you

I have taken all of your advice and tried on my new outfit, and I love the feeling when I am in it. Its like finally I have found what I have been wanting to do for so long. I love it.

I probably wont tell anyone for a long while, but here I am so thankful that everyone is so nice and friendly and I finally am happy.

I just feel like nothing can bring me down. I have thought about doing this for so long, thank you all for your help and kindness. [/SIZE]

[mtfcdinazlooking]

Dont feel alone many of us have had the very same feelings. The best I can suggest is to do it at home frist alone. After that see how you feel and how far you want to take it. Then as time goes you can get a better feel for what you need in your life with family and relationships.



Katina

[GypsyKaren]

Just keep things to yourself for now, you're still pretty confused and you don't need to add to it by telling anyone, it's your secret. Take your time to explore your feelings, and remember that we're always here for you.

Karen Starlene

[Ema1234 GG]

Both me and my partner are in our early 20's and his dressing doesn't mean the rest of his life has to change.

His family don't know, his friends certainly don't know and I dread to think what they would say if they did. Both him, and his friends, are very macho tough guy type blokes. Certainly not the sort you'd associate with dressing.

But he does dress. It took him a long time to trust me enough to tell me, but he did and whilst yes it was a shock and yes it's taking time to get used to the idea, I'm still here.

I'd hold off telling anyone for now. My partner was doing this from a young age and he only told me recently, and he hasn't told anyone else. Also, in many cases there really is no need to ever tell your parents unless this is something you want to do on a more full time basis.

The last thing I'd like to say is that you don't have to go somewhere just because you're dressed. You can dress more than happily in the privacy of your own home. In fact I would suggest, and I'm sure many will join me, in saying that you probably shouldn't go out to start with, certainly not with the intention of passing. For most, learning how to pass effectively takes some fine tuning and you're unlikely to get it right on the first attempt.

[Stlalice]

Like Karen said - for right now I would advise keeping the activity and thoughts to yourself where family and friends are concerned. Keeping it private for now will give you the time to work out your own feelings and accept what and who you are. Once you've done that then you can decide what to do and who to tell - if anyone. Feel free to check in here for advice or just someone to talk to.

[nicky]

hi im nikky a young cder and i know were your coming from ive been cding since i was 6 or 7 and been caught a couple of times but i dont care cause it makes me happy and people can get over it so do what you like and dont worry about what everyone else thinks cause lifes short and you shouldnt spend it makin everyone else happy so do what feels right to you

[Rachel Morley]

I agree with the others. Take it nice and slow and just see where it goes. Many (most?) crossdressers only dress at home and just hang out in the house watching TV or surfing the net reading forums like this etc when dressed. They just want to enjoy some nice "girl time" by themselves. They don't necessarily go out and do stuff at clubs or crossdressing organizations, CD meetings etc ..... although many (including myself) do do these sorts of things.

However, I'm thinking that at if you are in your early 20's there's a possibility that you still live with your parents and if that's the case we might have a slight problem if you don't want them to know about your dressing. If you do live alone or you rent a room or whatever your situation is, then just relax and enjoy "discovering yourself". Stick around here for a while and read some threads. I guarantee you'll soon get the idea of what you want to do or what you want to try .... especially if you read about others doing it too.

[Veronica 1]

I agree. Take your time but try to get a period of private time so that you can try on your new outfit in the near future. Make an event out of it, long hot bath, shaving (if you want), just relax and be comfortable with yourself and then get dressed. Getting yourself in the mood first always helps and makes the experience more fulfilling.

[Lanore]

Hello Holly
Take care of you first. It seems you're thinking about too many things at one time. You can't please anyone until you please yourself first.

Lanore

[whitney]

Hello,
Ok, I have this problem, and I have no one I can talk to about this so I came here to try and meet some new friends and get some opinions. I am new here so I will try to make this quick.

I am a 19 year old boy and I am straight, but my problem is for years now, I always have urges to dress up in womans clothing, although I haven't yet, I did buy an outfit and I feel really good about that. My problem is I don't know what to do. I don't know what my friends will think of me or how my family will think. I don't know what I should do or if I do end up dressing up for the first time, where I could go.

I just feel like I am lost and didn't know who else to go or talk to, so I came here hoping for the best. Please, if you can help me or give me some advice, please do. Thank you so much.

Welcome Holly.
Having been in your circumstance, I think we can all relate and certainly assist.
Honestly, the first time you dress, it might be best if you did so alone. You might find that it's not for you. Of course, I can't imagine why.
There's no need to involve your friends or family yet until you truly know that dressing is what you want to do.
If it is, then just approach them honestly and with the confidence of knowing that they love you, and that really does mean even if you're wearing a dress.
I wish to God I had known that 25 years ago....
Best of luck, and remember, we're all here to help!

[cdmay]

just try it out, you dont have to tell any one.

[charlie-50]

Hello,
Ok, I have this problem, and I have no one I can talk to about this so I came here to try and meet some new friends and get some opinions. I am new here so I will try to make this quick.

I am a 19 year old boy and I am straight, but my problem is for years now, I always have urges to dress up in womans clothing, although I haven't yet, I did buy an outfit and I feel really good about that. My problem is I don't know what to do. I don't know what my friends will think of me or how my family will think. I don't know what I should do or if I do end up dressing up for the first time, where I could go.

I just feel like I am lost and didn't know who else to go or talk to, so I came here hoping for the best. Please, if you can help me or give me some advice, please do. Thank you so much.

HI holly take it from me weve all been there. i say do what ever makes you feel good. and cding makes you feel good i think i speak for every one here when i say we support you. ............charlie.........

[Echo Logical]

nearly all my life I have had desires to dress. Now at almost 40 I am finally being more open to it, while I an't say that I regret not being more open before, I do sometimes wonder what life would have been like if I had chosen to just explore more when I was 19.

Everyone has given great advice, and most will caution to go slow. The benefit of going slow is that it prevents you from closing off other options in your life before you are ready, and gives you more time to really think about what is important to you and your future.

Take time to observe and consider the environment you are in, how accepting is the environment, what resources are available, are there CD/TG friendly venues/support groups etc. Obviously you are using the internet to find some answers (or just more questions), don't forget about your local library.

If you can, keep a private journal, keep your thoughts and dreams in it, and review it regularly. This will help you answer the tough questions about yourself.

Above all, good luck to you and best wishes. This community has been great, so stay tuned. There are some great girls here, with wit and wisdom and kindness who can help you along your journey.

[Angie G]

Dress by yourself don;t let anyone know for now abd see where it gos but go slow hun
Angie

[Minerva Morgan]

First of all, Holly, you are alright. You are not crazy, abnormal nor perverted. Your real problem is the possible reactions of the people about you should they discover your fascination with feminity. It is the attitudes of those people which is often crazy, unfortunately normal and definitely perverted. What you want to do hurts nobody; what they might do hurts everybody. You see the distinction? Eventually, you may wish to reveal your proclivities to someone; and only you can determine to whom, and when.
Second, this is not something easily or quickly explained; largely because the circumstances are different for each individual. Also, most people here cannot fully explain their own interests and activities; and many feel there is no need to offer such an explanation. You can, however, from these posts, and by asking questions, learn a fair amount.
Third, if your anxieties lead you to wish to consult with a professional (therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist), make sure the person with whom you consult is knowledgeable and sympathetic.
Fourth, it is very unlikely that your feelings will go away. There is no 'cure', as there is nothing to cure. So, DON'T PANIC!

Love,
Minerva

[holly1225]

Thank you for helping me. I didn't know what to expect here, but you have been so nice and helpful to me and it feels really good. Thank you

I have taken all of the advice and tried on my new outfit, and I love the feeling when I am in it. Its like finally I have found what I have been wanting to do for so long. I love it.

I probably wont tell anyone for a long while, but here I am so thankful that everyone is so nice and friendly and I finally am happy.

I just feel like nothing can bring me down. I have thought about doing this for so long, thank you all for your help and kindness.

[angelfire]

Hi Holly,
I was not so far from where you are now. I'm 21 now, and have been dressing probably since about 18. Like pretty much everyone else, I have to say don't worry about telling people at this stage, it will only further complicate and confuse. Worry about finding out who you are, then worry about everyone else.

And believe me, it starts with one outfit, but it will certainly end up being far more than that.

[Cindi Ann Kelly]

Just keep things to yourself for now, you're still pretty confused and you don't need to add to it by telling anyone, it's your secret. Take your time to explore your feelings, and remember that we're always here for you.

Karen Starlene

ditto.

Cindi

[rachael devry]

hi holly slow down and take deep breath. these are the same thought all of us go through. for me i think some people have an idea about my dressing up. and it did bother me. i had to come to terms of what made me happy. i denied myself off and on for a number of years. only to frustrate myself after a while i came to realize this is who i am. enjoy yourself. you will find you are not alone at this. good times only. rachael

[Valerie Nicole]

Hi Holly. I'm also a nineteen year old straight man who loves the look and feel of wearing women's clothing. As most have said, you don't have to go out (and probably shouldn't if you're looking to pass this early on) just because you dress. When I dress, I usually stay in my room and don't let anybody see me.

I think you have made the right decision with regards to telling people. You don't have to tell anyone until you're ready, and I think in order to get ready you should explore it for yourself in a number of ways. Dressing alone is one of them. You should try and figure out exactly how dressing makes you feel and what some of the attraction is. You should also do some reading on the internet before you tell anyone. This site is a great place to start, but there are other sites out there which can help, too.

I'm also glad to see that you're doing well now, and that you've tried on that outfit. If you want to PM me once you get up to 10 posts, I'll be happy to talk to you.

[Zee]

Both me and my partner are in our early 20's and his dressing doesn't mean the rest of his life has to change.

His family don't know, his friends certainly don't know and I dread to think what they would say if they did. Both him, and his friends, are very macho tough guy type blokes. Certainly not the sort you'd associate with dressing.

But he does dress. It took him a long time to trust me enough to tell me, but he did and whilst yes it was a shock and yes it's taking time to get used to the idea, I'm still here.

I'd hold off telling anyone for now. My partner was doing this from a young age and he only told me recently, and he hasn't told anyone else. Also, in many cases there really is no need to ever tell your parents unless this is something you want to do on a more full time basis.

The last thing I'd like to say is that you don't have to go somewhere just because you're dressed. You can dress more than happily in the privacy of your own home. In fact I would suggest, and I'm sure many will join me, in saying that you probably shouldn't go out to start with, certainly not with the intention of passing. For most, learning how to pass effectively takes some fine tuning and you're unlikely to get it right on the first attempt.

Listen to Emma, Holly. She knows her stuff...

I distinctly remember how it was when I was your age. I really wish I had found an outlet for my feelings like this forum when I was your age. You are very lucky.

Let me just add that only you know who you can trust, and only you can make yourself happy. Some parents are fairly accepting, some, not so much. The biggest thing to remember is to think things through fully. You wouldn't want to put on your outfit only to have your father come home early from work...

[susan2067]

Holly. I am so pleased for you. Take your time to find out about the real you.

Thank you as well to everyone for their advice. I only wish that this forum existed when I was taking my first hesitant steps.

[paulaN]

Holly your on the right track by coming here. Read all you can about cding. This forum is full of information. Take your time and follow your heart. You can talk to most any of us here any time.LOL Paula

[Rosaliy Lynne]

Just keep things to yourself for now, you're still pretty confused and you don't need to add to it by telling anyone, it's your secret. Take your time to explore your feelings, and remember that we're always here for you.

Karen Starlene

That you have chosen a lovely name.

[Rosaliy Lynne]

Thank you for helping me. I didn't know what to expect here, but you have been so nice and helpful to me and it feels really good. Thank you

I have taken all of the advice and tried on my new outfit, and I love the feeling when I am in it. Its like finally I have found what I have been wanting to do for so long. I love it.

I probably wont tell anyone for a long while, but here I am so thankful that everyone is so nice and friendly and I finally am happy.

I just feel like nothing can bring me down. I have thought about doing this for so long, thank you all for your help and kindness.

When I started dressing there was nowhere for me to look. I needed to do it but I felt I was bad somehow. Once the internet came along and I found that I was not alone in this, it made life easier. I can't tell you how many times I threw ALL my girly stuff away only to end up getting more to please me in my need to be HER.

Take it slow; relax and remember this: Above all to thine own self be true.

You'll figure it out and we'll help as best we can.