First time dressed in front of SO. How was it for you?

[Melinda G]

I can't imagine why any of you would want to dress in front of your SOs, and risk embarrassment, ridicule, and maybe losing someone. For me, it is a personal thing, that I have no desire to share with anyone.
Years ago, I made the mistake of showing my ex wife a couple polaroids of me dressed, and I still remember the shocked look on her face. A couple weeks later, she had a boyfriend at work, and she left a couple months later.
Most people still view it as abnormal, and you risk losing someone, in some vain attempt at acceptance or approval.

Dr Melinda has left the building!

[Sheri 4242]

I have to divide my "firsts" regarding dressing in front of my wife into stages, and that might be something you want to consider, altered to fit your own unique circumstances with your SO.

STAGE ONE: While I had told her I was a crossdresser, the first time she saw anything was when we were "almost engaged." Our intimate life had gotten rolling and she saw me wearing panties every day. She had NO problem with it.

STAGE TWO: Then, when we progressed, I suggested a special evening of "silky agaist silky." (We were engaged -- or maybe this was just before we got engaged -- oh well, whatever: sometime during this time frame.) I got a hotel suite and put some champgne on ice, put some romantic music on, rose pedals on the bed, a boquet of roses next to it, lighting turned low, and candles everywhere (left unlit till we got there -- well duh, some disclaimers have to be made ).

From some of our previous conversations I kind of felt that she would be more comfortable with no wig or forms like Rachel Morley said.

We went shopping, bought matching nighties, thigh hi's, and MMFMP shoes -- then to a romantic dinner. Then to the hotel. She changed in the other room (this is why you need a suite) and I changed in the bedroom and lit the candles. We met at the room's doorway and her first response are etched on my heart: "it takes a real man to dress like that in front of another." It was a wonderful evening.

STAGE THREE: I began dressing at home, and from time-to-time, in public. At home, again I felt as if forms and a wig were, at times, pushing it. The first time I dressed completely, though, was a very memorable evening. I remember I was wearing a plaid miniskirt -- and I remember we had just seen Braveheart on TV a few days earlier. Anyway, we were alone for the evening, so I went and got dressed -- and when she saw me -- there was a moment of silence -- then I laughingly said in my best Mel Gibson voice, "Freedom'mmm!" It was a GREAT evening -- and in the days that followed what was her perceived acceptance became really real, so to speak -- she decided it really was no big deal for me to dress that way.

STAGE FOUR: I had been dropping hint after hint -- for several years, and whenever the conversation made such appropriate -- that I had always wanted to be a bride!!! So, when we were planning a trip to Las Vegas, out of no where, my wife says, "well they say what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas -- so if you want to be a bride, see if you can find a place to do it and set things up."

So, I did. Many of you have heard the story, so I won't go into all the details now except to say that in the days leading up to the event, my wife said a number of times that she hoped I wouldn't get my feelings hurt if she laughed!!!

Well, the day arrived -- I had a formal makeover (makeup and hair) -- and we go to the chapel. During the makeover, my wife was awestruck at the talent of the makeup artist (apparently he's a major professional in Vegas). Wow!!! Did he ever do a fantastic job!!! Anyway, we go to the chapel, but instead of laughing, my wife gets all choked up -- tears and all -- as this became an extremely significant event in our marriage!!!!!!! I was feeling the moment, too -- happy and estatic!!! I think we both realized that it was very significant moment for the two of us b/c while Sheri is, in our opinion, just one part of a dichotomous personality, Sheri was making solemn vows with her wife before the minister and witnesses. It is an extremely important date now in the annual life of our marriage -- sweet and tender, and NO laughing matter. Afterwards there was your photo session -- including photos taken outside on the Las Vegas Strip. Just a few years ago my wife, as accepting as she has always been, would not have liked me being en femme in such a public place in broad daylight. We were, though, captivated by the moment and its importance and it mattered not how many thousands of people saw us outside with me in a wedding gown and our names on the marquis!!! Stage Four was a different step forward, but absolutely awesome!!!!!!!

As Rachel says:

I will never forget the feeling to this day. I couldn't quite believe, that there I was all dressed up in blouse, skirt and high stiletto heels with all the appropriate underwear underneath and I was wearing makeup too and she didn't think I was weird. In fact quite the opposite. She said I looked cute . Yes, it's true, my wife Marla describes herself as "trans-am" ... no not the car, but "trans amorous". She's attracted to transgendered people .... and luckily for me, one in particular!

I relate so much -- we both are indeed very fortunate, Rachel!!!!!!!

It's a very important step for me to take ( and her too )& I want it to be a success (so I can do it again ). I know exactly what I'll wear , very tasteful outfit. I just don't want her to scream or laugh or react badly. She doesn't have to say I look lovely either, simply accept me dressed enfemme.

I hope I have provided you with a few ideas. Alter them to fit your own situation!!! And, if I haven't conveyed it by telling you "my four stages," let me be blunt: let her set the pace!!!

[rachel_rachel]

I do remember that i was quite nervous about it... I mentioned it to her one new year's day and she didn't believe me, but when she saw what i wore i took it away from me. Never to be seen again.

Now though, different story... I can do what i want when i want to as long as the kids are either asleep in bed or not home.

Actually last Friday i was completly dressed, the only thing missing was make up and although it was only my 2 yr. old that saw me, it was a big step, I actually stayed fully enfemme for nearly 15 hours. That's some sort of a record for me.

[cdsteph]

Our first time was in a little log cabin overlooking a lake, fireplace crackling,
and a few drinks...
My awesome SO had arrived dressed to kill, stockings, heels, corset...the works...
Not knowing that I had been dressing privately for years, she 'convinced'
me to try on her things as a one time silly fun thing.
Of course I went along with it. (we fit the same size everything)

Months later, I told her that it was a turn on and would like to try it again...
...now she does makeup for me, we go driving, slipped into a few coffee shops....with more to come.

She often comments "look what I've created!" and despite my previous CDing, in a way she did create me.

We'll be going on a trip to Vancouver soon for breast forms and shopping, and she'll be dressing as a man for Halloween....you all know who I'll be.

(Halloween is suddenly way better than Xmas...)

To have such an intelligent, beautiful, caring, sensual and understanding partner is a gift that defies description.

Winning a lottery would come in a distant 2nd place.

Finding this forum is a solid 3rd.

CDsteph

[Delia1]

I never had that problem, it was my wife who decided she was going to dress me, i had been wearing panties for years before that, but she decided i should become a full time dresser when in the house, which i was very happy to to.

[Lilith Moon]

My wife seemed OK with it and even took lots of pics of the first dressup session she participated in. However, her attitude changed over the following weeks and any CDing I do now is very stressful if she is around.

I think her initial impression was that it was a bit of bedroom type fun, an extension to our lovemaking. But she is now troubled by the realization that it is much more fundamental than that. She does make an effort to be accepting but I know that she really wishes it would just go away and is terrified that anyone else might find out.

[Hippy Chic]

I felt really vulnerable, and simultaneously awkward. It took a lot of coaxing on HCC's part for me to be more open & comfortable. Even now, & I know I can be a bit more touchy (still some self-conscious in there somewhere) when I am dressed. I don't mean to be.

I remeber a few weeks ago we were having a discussion about something or other (can't remember what ot be honest, probably the kids though) while I was dressed, & I suddenly felt really vulnerable & exposed, & had an overwhelming urge to put boy clothes back on (which I did, just to feel a safer). She (understandably I guess) took this as a very visual sign that I was 'closing down' i.e. end of discussion (which it wasn't meant to be).

[CarrieAnneEvers]

It was not a good experience for me or my ex wife. She didn't look happy, but rather confused. She said "You have nice legs" as if it was an accusation rather than a compliment.

[Carroll]

I was very nervous, scared and self-conscious. She said I looked really good

[Tree GG]

I won't speak to how we felt, but I did want to share that it has been about 10 mos since the "reveal". In a recent discussion he swears I "swooned". I say I did not in all honesty & sincerity. (I've never swooned in my life!)

One of us is not remembering accurately, and since there was no one else present to offer witness......

If I've blocked out something, that's scary. If he has imprinted a fantasy reaction over the reality, that's equally scary.

My advice, be deliberate, mindful and be real.

[Rita B]

Hasn't happened yet and with some luck it never will!!! She has never seen even a photo of me dressed... She'd really freak if she did....

Karren

Right on girl

Rita B

[monika40]

My SO knew I liked to dress but had never seen me dressed. One weekend she called and said she was coming over. I told her that I would prefer that she didn't as I wanted to dress that weekend. She said OK. I dressed. 1 hr later she calls again and says she really wants to come over and spend some time together. I told her I was dressed. She said it was ok with her if it was ok with me. Very nervous but said ok. Fast forward. Knock on door. It's my SO. Talk through door. She said she wanted to see. Opened door.Sat down and talked for hrs. Shared many days and nights and activities together while dressed. Go for it! Then you will know. Luck.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

It was a wonderful experience. Just reminiscing about; The first time actualy being seen as Jocelyn by her, being accepted as Jocelyn by her, and being loved as Jocelyn by her. The anticipation leading up to it, reminded me of when I was a kid and waiting for christmas or my birthday where I knew I was getting lot's of presents. Jocelyn

[nicole090456]

Lilith

I was just going to type my reply to this thread and realised that I would need to copy yours word for word.

Nicole

[Jaquelyn]

Hmm, since this wasn't all that long ago, it's still pretty fresh in memory banks. She was nervous, so was I. She freaked a little at first, said I looked too much like my mother (every girls nightmare?), then realized it was more her heaping that on me, not really what I looked like. We watched a movie, had a laugh or two, ejoyed our evening. All in all, a nice time. Since then, a couple of girls nights have been had; she bought me new pajamas (very cute) and we just hung out one time. Just being girls......

[Melanie R]

The first time I dressed in front of my wife was December 5, 1980 - that date will always be in my mind. She took one look at me and said, "you need help". That is help with looking like her type of woman and not a hooker with black hair and too much makeup. In the next week she put together a wardrobe for me, new makeup and a good wig. The second time she saw me she said, "you look great. Lets go out to dinner". We practiced sitting, walking , gesturing and talking like a woman. The first time out in public was marvelous and over the past 27 years we have been out in public together hundreds of times. For my wife she is able to see beyond the clothes and knows that her husband is always present. Does she want equal time with her man. You bet and she gets it. Now if only more wives would read her books and learn how to make a relationship with a crossdressing husband work and thrive.

[Crissy65]

Karen,

You are one of the most natural looking women I have ever seen. Why would your wife freak? Because you are so passable?

Cissy

[missattitude]

I guess I can't give you no advice since my SO is my boyfriend. Its kind of hard to give adive from a guys point of view , but he did't care, I told him I was dressing right from the start.

Miss thang

[Davinnia]

Well, I did it ! Saturday evening. The day I started this thread, My wife actually suggested I dress the following evening, but we both had tough days so put it off 'till Saturday. Early evening, I had a bath , then painted my nails. While they were drying, my wife dressed up & started preparing a meal. I took ages getting ready, full makeup, lingerie, wig, purfume, a long black skirt & top.
I was very nervous when I knocked on the lounge door & entered. We opened a bottle of bubbly & talked for ages about how I felt being dressed & how she felt (accepting but didn't understand why men CD). I mentioned this forum & how it had helped me come out & want to dress in front of her.
We had a lovely meal & watched an old Fred & Ginger movie. It was an amazing success, a dream come true, & I was emotional yet incredibly happy that I have such an accepting wife who loves me for who I am inside.

[Cindi Ann Kelly]

To say that I was nervous would be an understatement.
I had to have a few drinks to do it, but am glad that I did, because it has really helped out relationship.

cindi

[Davinnia]

This Saturday evening I dressed again for the entire evening. It was so much easier 2nd time, no nerves ( for us both ) & I felt competely relaxed. It just felt so natural & normal, sitting down to dinner, watching tv etc. My wife actually told me I could dress that evening, it was here sugestion. I have asked her how she feels about me sitting there completely dressed & she accepts me & loves me & knows how happy I feel dressed. She is wonderful & amazing for making my life so complete. Before joining the forum, I never would have hoped to be in this situation. Coming out was the best thing I could have done, I feel so at peace within myself.

Her only concern is that I might want to dress in front of others or go out, not options I'm interested in.
I read the threads about CDs agonising about telling their SOs & feel so glad I did tell & am enjoying the benefits & joy it can bring.
Shopping next ? I hope so.
Thanks girls, for all your help !

[Denielleinheels]

I was scared... she saw pictures first. She loves me dressed m or fem.

[dontay155]

My wife has seen me lots in the bedroom in my various lingerie items...and as soon as she sees me slip on my bra, panties, nightie, or girdle, well...she thinks its silly...but she likes what happens next...you do get nervous and feel rather self conscious about it however...don't see how one wouldn't.


I've told here that I really want to wear a maids outfit when the kids are at school and she can tell me what do for a while...I think that would be fab...but she has not taken me up on the offer...how weird is that? If my wife offered the same thing, I'd be on it like white on rice...so I guess there are thinks she just doesn't want to see (yet...).

[the femm side of me]

I posted this on July 20th because that was my first time.

We did it

I want to encourage all you out there that have been talking with their wives about wanting to dress as women. My wife and I have been going through this talking stage on again off again thing since 1993. In 1993 I tried on panties and loved them. Over the years I tried make up, a bra, and the odd female garment or two. Never did I dress all the way.

This is how it would go. I would wear panties more and more. The occasional application of lipstick and about then I would have a complete melt down. GUILT would just tear me apart. The melt down and guild would normally come out after drinking too much. Tears, anger shouting, were very common. My wife would get mad I would get mad. She said she couldn’t handle it and I tried to ignore it but the need NEVER NEVER went away.

Fast forward. We are older now in our 40’s still married. (18yrs now) I have a drawer full of panties and nights gowns. I play when I am alone and will wear panties and a night now an again in front of my wife.

I had a melt down about six months ago. A few days later when we were calmer we talked. My wife said I am sick of this you need to dress and you need to dress completely. Let’s see where it goes. Maybe we will like it maybe not but we are going to get to the bottom of it.

So over the next few weeks she and I talked seriously about how and when we do it. Once we decided it was going to happen we made a date to do it.

My wife bought me my own make up and a wonderful birthday gift. She bought me a skirt and a top. Then I posted a message here about finding shoes and learned that Payless was a good place to start. We found a very pretty pair of black pump type sandals that matched the outfit perfectly. I already had the stockings and panties.

On the day of our date, we talked on the phone and I told her I was very nervous and had butterflies in my stomach. I told her maybe we should do it another day. My wife just said no you going through with it. As a matter of fact she told me to shower shave put on my make up and clothes and make dinner.

I got dressed fixed a fast dinner and when she came home I was completely dressed. I felt so pretty and soft. She had me model my outfit looked over my makeup and said. Do you feel good? Yes I replied. She pondered a few moments and said well I must admit it’s not that bad.

Then she confessed that she was not too concerned about the clothes it was the make up thing that bothered her. When she saw me in make up she said I looked good not too overboard it was a relief for both of us.

We ate dinner me still dressed. We talked about everything just like every day other day. While we cleaned up the dishes, she told me that she could handle crossdressing as long as it’s not every day. Then she invited me to relax (dressed) on the swing outside. We sat together for a long time and then make love. I offered to wash off the makeup before we made love and she said it was not a problem and told me to keep it on.

That was a week ago. We only talked about our experience together a little it doesn’t dominate our life. We both know want to expect now. I did learn she had some fun picking out and buying my skirt. I’ll bet I will be getting some new clothes on occasion.

Well that how my first time dressed happened..

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Last edited by the femm side of me : 07-21-2007 at 08:17 AM.

[Lovely Rita]

I'm hoping that I'll soon be able to dress in front of my SO, she knows I dress & has seen photos, I think she's nearly ready to allow me to dress one evening, I've dropped hints & so has she, so we're getting round to it.

I'm quite nervous about the idea as I've never been seen by anyone else & would love to hear how others felt when their SO's saw them for the first time. How did she react ? Was it a positive experience ? Did she enjoy seeing you ?

It's a very important step for me to take ( and her too )& I want it to be a success (so I can do it again ). I know exactly what I'll wear , very tasteful outfit. I just don't want her to scream or laugh or react badly. She doesn't have to say I look lovely either, simply accept me dressed enfemme.

I understand your concerns fully. For the first time it may be helpful if you can reserve the bathroom or dressing room for however long it will take. Then when you feel everyting is just right, make your grand entrance.

All the best to you. I know it will turn out great