Coming Out
Hi everyone! It's been a while since I've posted anything... My computer died, so I'm using one at the library here.
Anyway...
Coming out!
Some want to, some don't, some already have.
I said some months ago that my plans were to come out publically by August.
I had already been dressing in women's slacks, shorts, and tops when I was out and about town since May.
No one seemed to notice, or care.
Although I wasn't wearing makeup of doing anything special with my hair.
Here's how August has gone for me...
Friday, 8-3, I had my nails done professionally.
Monday, 8-6, I didn't say anything in my weekly group meeting. (The fear of fear...)
On the following Monday, 8-13, I opened up to everyone in my group. A small step, I know.
everyone accepted me and commented at how brave it was to come out like I did.
The week of 8-20 is when things really started to change for me.
I went to my group meeting with very, very short shorts, a flowery top,
and my nails painted with L'Oreal #210 'I Pink I'm In Love'.
When the conversation turned to me and I was asked what I had been doing the past week, I answered...
"Still trying to come out further.'
To which the group leader, a local psychologist, answered... "It looks like you already have."
I just smiled and thanked her.
Tuesday the 21st was the big step for me.
I decided that morning that I was going to dress the way I felt rather than just what I thought no one would notice.
The temperature was in the upper 70's.
I picked out a flowery cotton skirt, and a pink scoop-neck T-shirt.
Pulled my hair back into a pony-tail at the crown and used a clip to attach the rest to the top-rear of my head.
Did my face, put some Walmart gel push-up pads in my bra and I was ready to face the world.
The first thing I did was go down to the community clothing exchange.
I volunteer by helping to fold and hang some of the clothes that people drop off there.
I was a bit nervous though, but I held my head high and went in...
I had already told the lady in charge that I was a crossdresser, so when she saw me, it wasn't a shock.
I was impressed!
No stares, no comments, nothing but simple hi's and how are you's to which I responded the same, in my prettiest voice.
WOW! This is all starting to feel too good. (Dreams do come true, don't they?)
Later that day, Mary, the manager told me that the other ladies had a hard time believing that I was a man.
Well, that just made my day! I went back home floating on cloud-9, (a pink one), smiling all the way.
Wednesday was just an ordinary day.
I put on another nice skirt and blouse, did my face.
My SO had set my hair the night before, so it looked a lot like some of my pictures here, only a bit longer.
Next month I plan on a perm. Oh wow! Another new adventure.
Nothing came into the clothing shop, so I just went back home and watched movies all day. (Boooring!)
Thursday... A flowery cotton skirt, and a simple T-shirt in robin's egg blue.
Down to the clothing shop, sorted, folded, and hung about 4 big bags of women's clothes.
Next stop was the post office. Another first for me.
My SO and I have separate boxes at opposite ends, so it would certainly be interesting.
There was a gentleman at the door when I was approaching, and he waited until I got there and held the door for me.
I thanked him and went in and checked my PO box first, sisce it was closest to the door.
I went down a bit and around a corner to my SO's box where a lady was gathering her mail.
Another exchange of hello's, and I got my SO's mail.
On the way out, another lady was coming in.
We said hi to each other, and that same gentleman was there again holding the door.
WOW! To think that I have been missing all this interaction with people.
I'm really beginning to feel like a woman. *(Big smile.)*
Back home again... I sat on the front porch for almost the rest of the day, sipping on iced tea and saying hi to passers by.
All-in-all a fantastic day. I can't wait for tomorrow.
Friday, I decided on a nice sundress. Hair in a pony-tail again, put on my face, and off I went.
Mary and I went through the clothing that came in Thursday night and some that had been dropped off that morning.
We were all done in an hour or so and Mary said that she was going to close up early.
Everybody comes on Tuesdays anyway, so we left.
My SO, was at a flea market sponsered by the town for locals to sell things without the need for any fees or licenses.
Everyone was packing up for the day and going home, so I helped her carry her things.
An hour later, she wanted to go to Walmart for a few things.
She asked me for some money, which I gave her, and off we went.
Here I was, going to Walmart, nice dress, makeup, hair done up, cute white sandals, and long danglie earrings.
Naturally, the first place we went was to the ladies department and looked at a few new tops that came in.
Nothing really liked me, so we just finished up our grocery shopping and went home.
I was eally nervous at first, but I soon relaxed.
My SO reassured me that if people didn't know me as a man that they probably wouldn't notice that I wasn't.
I have to admit that I feel sooo much better as a woman... I guess the smile I had showed that.
Saturday... The temperature rose to the upper 80's and I was glad that I wore a shorter skirt.
Around 9:00 AM I helped my SO carry her things to the flea market and stopped by the clothing shop on the return trip.
What a mess... Clothes were scattered all over the ground.
Why oh why would someone just dump everything out of the bags like that.
Anyway... I sorted everything out, good from bad. Folded and put everything in it's place. Back home and fixed brunch.
Sunday, I wore a new red dress that I had bought at Walmart the month before with red peep-toe 4'' heels,
and my toe and fingernails red as well. My SO thought I looked fantastic.
I spent most of the day sitting on the front porch watching people go by and saying hi to a few.
Monday, Another group meeting. I wore a flowery ankle-length skirt and a pinkish-fuchsia top and black pumps.
The counsler was amazed that I came dressed up like that.
She was supprised how good I looked as a woman.
I also met a guy that I helped start an AA/NA group 2 years ago that had relapsed and wanted to get back on track.
I've also discussed transitioning with my SO and decided that I'm going to find out what I need to do.
I'm already living as a woman, so that's the logical next step, and I think that it's right for me.
Times change, and so do people... I'm no exception, I guess.
Today it's 8-29 and I'm headed for the library to upload this and some pics to y'all.
This whole week has been a great experience for me and my confidance is growing more each and every time that I go out.
I now know that I'll be spending the rest of my life this way. It just feels sooo right.
My SO tells me that my attitudes, gestures, and even my voice has improved over the last year.
If you didn't know that I was a man, you may not ever know... I'm sure not telling.
I'd never had the strength to come out without all your help. Thanks one and all! Here comes Sandy! Woo Hoo!
Love y'all
Sandy
