Getting ready for that talk

[jade]

Hi my name is Jade

I’ve just joined this group, so I thought that I better introduce my self.
I’m 45 male CD’er who is married with a great wife and teenage children.
The big problem is that no-one knows about the dressing. I feel that after 25 years of marriage that I can no longer hide this secret form someone I love so much, so I am starting down the path to telling her about the other self.

A couple of years ago, I had a minor operation and found that after I left hospital the “need” to dress had completely gone. After 6 months I tried getting dressed and nothing, it was as if Jade had left forever. Thinking I was “cured” I did the big purge and got rid of everything. Six months after that the need was still gone.
THEN…. 14 months after I came out of hospital ….. It returned…This time it was as strong, if not stronger than before and Jade was back. Talk about conflict of the mind.

So I have put limits on myself and have made the decision that before I go back to the same levels as before I have to tell my wife. For support I have joined the local CD club and have been to my first meeting, but I went in my male clothes. All the girls there are great.
I’m slowly gathering information and getting myself ready for that talk. When I am still not sure….
What I like about this web group is the variety of posting that you girls talk about. I look forward to participating…


Jade.

[diane]

Great to meet you Jade. I'm sure you will find lots of support here. Keep us all posted and let us know how "the talk" goes. We'll do anything we can to make it smoother or to at least provide support.

[Jenny Beth]

Hello Jade,

Your story is very typical, years of crossdressing followed by a need to finally come out. Telling your wife after all these years is certainly going to be a shock for her. There is no easy way here, how she reacts will depend on many things; how solid your relationship is, how she feels about the subject in general terms and to what extent your dressing is to name just a few. But the biggest obstacle is going to be all the years of deceit regardless of how she feels about everything else. The stakes are high, acceptance or total rejection.
Joining a support group was certainly a step in the right direction and you will find a lot of support and advice here as well. If you have any questions just post them, there a many here in the same boat.

Jenn

[Vivian Best]

Hi Jade,

Welcome to our little corner of the internet and corner of the world. Your right it is a great site! I certainly enjoy my visits to the site. Feel free to ask, share and express your feelings and opinions.

I'm like you I kept my secret from my wife 45 years and I purged many many times. I hate to think of the money I've spent replacing clothing and jewelry after a day, a month or a year. The lenght of time it took to return varied, but it always returned! I finally accepted dressing as a part of me and would not go away. I vowed to never purge again and I will not!

I'm still not sure how circumstances occurred that opened the chance for me to tell my wife, it just happened! I had a bra on under a shirt and she saw it and ask me if that was a bra and I said yes. She ask why and I said because I wanted to and she said that's weird. She was shocked to say the least but seems to have adjusted ok. It's only been six months since I told her and I backed off some to keep from being "in your face" with my dressing. I'm really glad she knows!

Good luck telling your wife. I can't offer any advice because all wives are different and what worked with mine might not work with yours. Hopefully something will open the way for the conversation between the two of you if that is what you really want. Again, welcome and good luck.

Vivian