So... until about five this afternoon, I was decently closeted about the whole TG thing... but now I'm freaking out b/c I think I'm about to be outed to some people I REALLY was hoping not to be out to until I've figured out more of who I am. Most of it was my fault (I'll admit it) but now I'm sitting here like a nervous rat, waiting for the s*** to hit the fan. Basically what's happened is that now that I'm at college, I've started to CD on a daily basis and have introduced myself to lots and lots of new people as a very masculine girl, by the name of RJ. However, there are lots of people who knew me only in my feminine form and several of them also go to my college. So when they meet each other, I kind of run into problems. I've tried to smooth things over by explaining the name change away (my femme name is basically a Jane Doe sort where every other girl also has that name) by wanting to have a less common name, but there are several LGB (mostly G) people who were not very happy to find out about this... since they think they can "see where this is going..." The big snafu was tonight at the GLBTAU meeting. I introduced myself as R------, but preferably RJ, (b/c of the commonness of my other name) and when I said it, three of my so-called G friends flinched and kind of glared at me... the worst part is that two of them are part of the same LGBT scholarship as me, and I'm worried that they're going to tell the guy sponsoring it. He's not (from what I hear) a huge fan of T peoples and only recently (and reluctantly) included us in his scholarship. I'm basically just waiting for the ax to fall and trying my best not to freak out. I knew coming out as trans wasn't going to be an easy road; on the other hand, I was hoping it would wait until I was more sure of who (and what) I was. Any advice???
~RJ a.k.a. "soon to need my mail forwarded to the doghouse"