Would being labeled as gay be that bad?

[battybattybats]

O.K. So many people still think CDs are all gay.

Is that so bad?
Sure it's easy to be upset at being thought to be something you're not but, if you could be accepted as a CD, if you could go out in public dressed without concern for violence or discrimination but strangers assumed you were gay, would that be so bad?

Eventually close friends would learn you weren't gay. Your family would learn you weren't gay and eventually everyone you knew would learn it.

If you could be out and accepted but people thought at first that you were gay would it be worth it?

Is it just that we don't want to be misconstrued, is it that we don't want to bear the burden of anit-gay prejudice on top of anti-TG prejudice, is it that we fear our chances with women would be massively reduced or lost totally (isn't that already a worry at the moment?) or is there some degree of remnant homophobia that leads us to be so strident in our heterosexuality?

[noname]

I'm sure there have been people that have seen me and thought, another flaming homo. I don't care, I'm secure in myself and know I'm not gay. They may think I am, but does it really matter what they think. Besides, I know they are wrong.

[Brianna Lovely]

Despite the claims of "Gay Rights", I think that most Gay people are hated by the average "straight" person. Thus the fear of CDers being labeled as Gay.

On a side note, it seems to me, that most Gay people think Cders are "straight, married, republican, right-wing Bible thumpers, who can't be trusted".

As for personal experience, I was attending a Gay event and had a man, who I've known for four years, come up to me and whisper, "Your outfit looks very nice. By the way, I thought you were Gay. I didn't know you were one of
those people.' (CDs) And he's never talked to me again.

[Jillm]

From everything I read and know, gay people have more rights and acceptance than cders. Some people may not like people that are gay but I think they still accept them. I also think it is easier to discriminate against a cder than it is a gay person. The company I work for, found out an employee was gay. The management staff (I am a manager) was told we were not aloud to displace him, they told us he is a permanent employee, short of committing a crime at work, and then they will need to talk to the legal department before they take any action. I guarantee that if they found out I was a cder they would find some kind of reason to fire me, late to work, to long of lunch, no longer productive in my position or some bs like that. I think being labeled gay in today’s society is better accepted than being labeled a cder, but I’m still proud to be labeled a cder. Just my 2 cents.
Jill

[Kristen Kelly]

[SIZE="3"] I am not out at work but I know many think I am gay or Bi, (guess its's the long hair and earrings) we have had 2 openly gay women working in the office and I feel that is more accepted than a CD would be, by the comments I do recieve at times.[/SIZE]

[Veronica Fallon]

Well, I'm bi so it doesn't matter a helluva lot if people think I'm gay. [BTW, some of the best souls I've known are gay.] I think what bothers me most about people's judgments towards crossdressers is that they consider us to be much less than either men or women. I hate that they see us as "defective" & "sick".

If they only knew that we are statistically among the highest I.Q.'s around, & are stronger than them in many ways because of being crossdressers in an intolerant society. If only they knew what all we had to offer such a weak, fearful society!

Hugz,

Veronica

[Suzy Harrison]

To be honest the gay crowd is okay (in Aus anyway).

I went to a gay nightclub (as Suzy) with a friend some years ago in Melbourne. I found them all very friendly, very accepting, non judgemental and very good humoured. In fact the atmosphere in the club was much better and relaxed than a 'normal' club. I found them all very likeable even though I wasn't interested in being picked up by any of them.

In Australia most people are very tolerant of gays and also other minorities.

The general feeling here is everyone is entitled to 'a fair go'

[MarinaTwelve200]

I have nothing against gays, but I have enough other (unrelated) problems without having to deal with having to take on the additional social burdens associated with being considered something I am NOT.

Also, to quietly accept and not challenge that you may be mistakenly considered gay, in MY opinion, only aggrivates and supports the CD=Gay stereotype.

Besides, if you think about, it would you want to be represented in the public eye by a person who wasn"t even in your group? I can see why this would disturb gays---- a "crazy, outragous" CD could be an embarrasment to gays if the public concidered the CD as one of them.

[Suzie Green]

I have 2 gay male friends and 4 lesbian friends and none of them think any differently of me than they think of other people, gay or straight. Maybe I just happened to pick cool friends, but the gay, straight, or CD labels never come up nor are they even insinuated in conversation. We're all just "people" and because of that, I feel pretty fortunate to call them "best friends." To answer the original question though, if someone thought I was gay, that would be OK with me, since I'm comfortable in knowing that I am a happily married straight person, and other people's perceptions don't matter much. So if it helped people accept me as a CD, sure, I don't care what people think. I'm comfortable in my own skin.

[Kate Simmons]

Whatever floats their boat Batty. Makes no never mind to me. A lot of people need a label to paste on everyone, so let them knock themselves out I say. I know who and what I am and so do most of my friends. Some folks simply cannot deal with the concept of a guy wearing a dress or presenting en femme without needing some kind of definate conclusion. It makes their world easier I guess and doesn't require much thought or , perish forbid, actually getting to know you as a person. Labels are a dime a dozen, people are unique and their value as such goes way beyond any classification. In a pure sense gay means happy anyway and most of us are happy when we can be ourselves, our persuasion notwithstanding. Works for me.

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

I am a strong advocate of gay rights up to and including gay marriage. But classifying t girls as gays does nothing for either gay rights or tg rights. Misunderstanding a cause does not lend clarity to issues surrounding it.

[Vicky_Scot]

O.K. So many people still think CDs are all gay.

Is that so bad?


Yes it is because I am not gay.

And in my experience the majority of the gay community tolerate us but do not accept us.

We are only tagged onto the end of the gay scene because those that label us "society" do not know where to put us.

People also think we are wierdo's, perverts or childmolesters........are you still asking is that so bad?

[Genevera]

The most homophobic people I know are CD's (at least here in Utah, part of the reason I lost my respect for triple letter sororities) (never paint with a broad brush). This is already a homophobic area and CD's don't want to be associated with or mistaken for gays. (Although they will frequent Gay Bars so they can go out dressed (Go Figure)

It was the Drag queens who stood at Stonewall, yet the Gay community has an uneasy tolerence for Drag Queens and Crossdressers. Even though the Royal Court is instrumental in Gay Charities, and Drag Shows are popular fund raisers there is a rift between the Queens and the Masculine or Male Gays. Although they share the same club areas, bathrooms and there is no overt hostility, they tend to socially stay somewhat aloof of each other. That is not to say there is no comraderie between them, but it is not a universal comraderie.

[loki_uk]

People who don't know me do assume I'm gay if they see me dressed, and as long as they don't get violent or can't take no for an answer it doesnt bother me

[Ashly]

....as long as people leave me alone. There is nothing offensive for me if someone think I am gay.

[LeeAnn_cd]

[SIZE="2"]I don't care what people think I know the truth and thats all that counts. As long as there is no problems let them think what they want. [/SIZE]

[angelfire]

My main concern would be lowering my chances with women in general.

What I found interesting last weekend, was I was with a few friends and got started talking about a gay bar one of the GGs frequents. One of the gay guys who was with us was like "Ew, I'm gay and I don't even like that bar. Too many drag queens." and the GG said "Awww, but I love watching drag queens. And there is this one who is actually straight, and married with kids, and they all come out to her shows."

They seemed to shocked that there could be a drag queen who was straight. I kind of stayed out of the conversation, as I was a little drunk and didn't want to accidentally out myself.

But like others have said, Gays are generally better accepted than TGs. Alot of my friends are cool with gay people, but they see a TG and they go wide eyed and say something like "Man, some people are messed up."

[Linda C]

Some are - some are not - just like the non-dressing population. To me dressing makes me feel closer to women not men. I am not gay but I do support gay rights - "not just because of this little rant">>> I can't stand all of those macho dick head dudes that are out there and I will do anything to piss them off!!

[MsJanessa]

no---It doens't bother Me a bit!

[sterling12]

So, if you appear to be feminine at work and they assume your gay....is this a good thing?

I'm in management too, and I've heard the same thing, as stated earlier: "Leave that employee alone, he's gay and we don't want a lawsuit." Talk about job security!

And, many here don't think we need laws on the books that protect Gender Variant People....certainly not true if your a "worker bee." See how well it works for The Gay Community.

To answer your question, wouldn't it be a great world if we didn't indulge in "tagging" people with pseudo identities. Rather than being thought of as Gay or Straight, I would like to just be Joanie. Bet you would like to just be Sally, or Deidre, or Becky, or David......

Peace and Love, Joanie

[flatlander_48]

Speaking from the perspective of a bisexual:

You have to remember that the door is open as the phrase is Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgendered, However, it seems than MANY crossdressers don't view themselves as transgendered. The thought process seems to be folks think of themselves as genetic heterosexual males who just happen to like women's clothes. While I respect that and would not challenge it, I do wonder about it because it is easy to feel no alignment with LGBT folks. I suspect it would be better for all concerned if crossdressers did consider themselves part of the community. As long as various factions of the community are separated, it is much more difficult to move forward and gain acceptance and respect.

[annekathleen]

I thought this topic usually brings out the paranoia of some members.
Obviously we are ALL crossdressers, to some degee,
Some of us are "out of the closet" some of us are still hiding in there.
Some of us have significant others who know of our crossdressing,
( some are accepting, some are tolerant )
Some of us have significant others who have no clue about our dressing.
And yes, some of us, might be straight, might be bi, or might be gay.
Let's just accept each other,

[Stephenie S]

I think it's our own rabid homophobia that makes us so afraid or unwilling to be labeled as gay. I have experienced a great deal of homophobia in the CD community as a whole. So many say, "Oh, I'm not gay, but I really want to experience love with another man while dressed". OK, if that's not homosexual behavior, what is?

Stephenie

[Mary Morgan]

I don't really care what anyone labels me. Truth is, I never did care for myself, I cared because of the impact people's thoughts might have on my family. I suppose it is necessary to define terms if we are going to consider other people's opinions. For example, I am married, absolutely love women, don't particularly feel anything for men. As a transgender and a crossdresser, I suppose loving women makes me gay, or lesbian if you prefer. The point is, we all use terms to mean different things and so communication becomes more difficult. If you are saying that it is easier if you love another man and be accepted in society, that may be so simply because of the exposure that gays have had and the battles they have fought and won. When we have had the courage to fight those same battles, we'll be better able to answer your question.

[Toyah]

Errrrr yes coz I am not
To be honest it doesnt bother me what anyone wants to do in bed as long as they dont include me in it (take note them that have tried ) to be honest I think I am celabate and to be honest it is not worth the effort to be any different