Coming Out

[wannabie]

I don't know. It's been one of those weeks for me when everything seems so blah!!.

Last Saturday Burlingtons had a sale on ladies suits 2 for 99 and I picked up a pair. I now have a striped Grey and a White business suit with matching skirt I can wear. Very dignified and a class act all the way.
I thought to myself ' OK I'm going to do this'. On monday I'm really going to show the real me. Make my appearance and just sit behind my desk doing my job.
I pictured how it was going to be like, Hanging out with the other girls, being treated like one of the female employees and loving every minute of it.

Sunday came and I prepared everything I was going to wear the next day. I had a pair of high heals and a gorgeous hand bag I bought a while back and packed what I would need in it. Just a compact with lipstick and mascara. I hung everything by the door and was ready.

On monday I got up early and got dressed. I was going to be the first one there. I still thought 'this really is it and walked to the door very confident. I looked at the time and changed back into my drabs then went to work.
It was fun thinking about it on monday but yesterday and today not the same. I feel all depressed like I let myself down.

O' well maybe another time. or halloween?

I know a lot of you have the nerve to do it and I admire you for it, but I'm not there yet. to let people who knows me know that I'm a CD.

I'm Just living with disappointment. How do you do it?

[AmberTG]

Well, if it's any comfort to you, I haven't done it either, probably won't.

[Kate Simmons]

I dunno Hon, sometimes it's JDI (just do it).

[NovaScotia]

I know the feeling and at the same time, fully aware I will never be able to live out of the closet. The best for me is to take advantage of out of town trips, allowing for safety out in public. In additon, I am joining Triess. Even though my chapter will be 300 miles away, I intend to attend as much as possible.

If your job is as important to you as mine is to me, going to work as yourself may be too risky.

Best of luck!

[Kris]

I pictured how it was going to be like, Hanging out with the other girls, being treated like one of the female employees and loving every minute of it.

Sunday came and I prepared everything I was going to wear the next day. I had a pair of high heals and a gorgeous hand bag I bought a while back and packed what I would need in it. Just a compact with lipstick and mascara. I hung everything by the door and was ready.

On monday I got up early and got dressed. I was going to be the first one there. I still thought 'this really is it and walked to the door very confident. I feel all depressed like I let myself down.

O' well maybe another time.


I'm Just living with disappointment.

Wannabie,

Hi, obviously I can't tell you how to do it but I can have empathy for you.. (((((((((((Wannabie))))))))))))) You are so disappointed in yourself and I think you should be proud.

I imagine that at one time you were afraid to go buy women's clothing at a store. I bet you thought everyone would know, etc. But you went into a store and bought two business suits! That is an accomplishment. Many cd's are still buying stuff off the internet because they can't face someone in a store. So you are doing good.

Try to look at in this light and hopefully you wont feel so disappointed. You had a GREAT practice run. You did that and you know that you can do it again. It's not like you are never going to get the opportunity to do it again, right? You still have your job! There are going to be more Monday mornings, many more.. and the opportunity is going to be there, when you are ready. You don't have to rush yourself. This is a huge step and you have all the time that you need.

Failure is success turned inside out... turn it around and you can always learn from it and use it for the next time.

and 's,
Kris

[Ðarissa]

Well, if it's any comfort to you, I haven't done it either, probably won't.

Same here. I'm not really worried about it though. I may just start my own at home business so I can go to work in just my undies and stockings. LOL.

[Jeannie]

I would be horrified if someone other than my wife found out about me. Believe me it took a lot to come out to her but the timing and conversation we were having was just right. I am due to retire in about 3 years and I plan to go to one of the gatherings ( for lack of a better term) and I plan a dress and drive soon. So don't feel so bad about yourself there are a lot of us that have the same problem. Oh yea! my wife, bless her heart, helps me buy my clothes and shoes. Without her I would have to just read about it and wish.

Jeannie

[wannabie]

I imagine that at one time you were afraid to go buy women's clothing at a store. I bet you thought everyone would know, etc. But you went into a store and bought two business suits! That is an accomplishment. Many cd's are still buying stuff off the internet because they can't face someone in a store. So you are doing good.

believe it or not, buying womens clothing don't embarrass me. I'm quite comfortable in the womens department. I don't know the people in the store and they don't know me.

the problem is the people that know me.
who would they tell?
what would they think of me?
what would they say?
what if my family finds out?

I haven't told anyone in my family yet! :shocked:

people can come up with some really nasty assumptions about someone and it's hard to squash something once its out there. its like that old saying good news travels fast but bad news travels faster. (warp speed fast!!!).

[Laurengrl01]

Last Saturday Burlingtons had a sale on ladies suits 2 for 99 and I picked up a pair. I now have a striped Grey and a White business suit with matching skirt I can wear. Very dignified and a class act all the way... I feel all depressed like I let myself down.
I know a lot of you have the nerve to do it and I admire you for it, but I'm not there yet. to let people who knows me know that I'm a CD.

That's a beautiful narrative... I can almost picture you sitting there, looking all executive like; Sounds like you have already accomplished so much, you go when you are good and ready. Best wishes.
- Lauren
BTW, I'm just now getting to the point where I can shop (in drab) without feeling embarrassed and that was a big step. Just curious, when you purchased the suits, were you dressed? I cannot bring myself to shop fully dressed (yet!)

[Beth785]

Coming out at work can be very difficult. I won't ever do it due to the line of work I do (locomotive engineer). But, I read about a month ago that an officer of the KCMO police department was going to transition from male to female. She spoke to her superiors first. They put out a letter to all employees about the change and that the person involved was to be referred to as she, and that she was going to wear womans type uniforms and accessories. Also included with the letter was an explanation from the officer for the transition. This helped everyone get acquainted with the change. I don't know your situation, but maybe this could work in your case, to make things easier.

Beth

[AllieSF]

Dear Wannabie,

If you haven't come out to your family or many other people, I recommend that you pause for a moment to decide what you really want and then how you would like to accomplish it. Unless everyone at work knows about your situation, especially your superiors, and have had the chance to properly prepare for your coming out, the results may be negative and could affect your employment status. Several ladies here have come out to their employers and they described how they personally prepreed everyone to help ensure a successful transition at work. I say take it slow and enjoy the little steps as you move forward. That way you may be able to avoid the bigger bumps in the road ahead. Good luck.

[Billijo49504]

Just maybe you saved your job. Some employeers are kinda funny about things like that. But I hope you are some wha happy with your life...BJ
ps. Remember holloween is coming..

[Stephenie S]

I think you should talk to the people at work before you spring it on them like that. It's perfectly possible that it would be all right, but don't blindside them like that. Mention to a few people that you bought an outfit, give people a while to get used to the idea. Start slow, feel people out. Talk to your boss if you like.

Just showing up in a business suit, while it sounds quite appropriate, might be a bit of a shock to others at your job.

Start with the hair and nails, maybe.

JMHO

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Oddlee]

Just maybe you saved your job. Some employeers are kinda funny about things like that. But I hope you are some wha happy with your life...BJ
ps. Remember holloween is coming..

Dressing for work has been on my mind lately too, mostly in the sense that I wish I could. As stated, Halloween is coming - a great opportunity, but I'm not sure I'm that brave. I tend to be pretty shy and quiet; people at work know me as competent (I hope) and knowledgeable. I've only discussed my cross-dressing with one other person, so I'm not very "out."

Work always has a costume contest - I dream about going as a "working girl." There are always a couple cross-dressed folks.

Anyway, it's fun to think about, even if it's not likely to happen.

Lee

[Eugenie]

It isn't that easy to do a public coming out... Further more, going outside in the real world alone for a "first time is a a big stunt... Even with some experience I don't feel very comfortable going out alone... I do it but it requires a lot of effort from my part.

Let me suggest that it is a lot easier to do a first coming out to a few people rather than to do a public coming out. The ideal, in my oppinion being to go to a transgender support group private meeting. If you have a X-dresser friend living near by, that's another solution, get to meet her in private. Later on you may want to go out in the real world with the group or with a CD friend. This is a little more demanding than going to a private meeting as it means going out in the streets...

I hope this helps.


Eugenie

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I don't know what kind of job you have but I would agree with the others that think surprise is not the way to go. I would let the boss know that you want to do this and see what the response is. It should not be a problem but just might be. I am not one to take advise from since I have not been down this road yet and if I were to do it I am fairly certain that I would not loose my job since I own the company. I would probably loose my businmess partner who also happens to be my wife.

[wannabie]

I don't know what kind of job you have but I would agree with the others that think surprise is not the way to go.

I know just suprising people with this isn't the way to go. I guess it was just that day or week. besides the people at work here are mostly 80% male and some to alot have expressed their opinions negatively on gays and transgenders.

[Franki Kate]

I had often thought how nice it would be to have gone to school in a professional suit. Having been and educator, for thirty years at a middle school, the thought crossed my mind more than once. Over the years the kids had what they called "switch day" and they would come in the appropriate opposite gender clothing. Oh, the temptations.

[jandebs]

i always carried a few photos in my bag to show the odd person i'd confided in. I used to think that just words would generate all kinds of crazy ideas whereas a photo seemed to make it more natural. having said that, a bedroom photo in your undies probably sends off completely wrong signals; the one i used was me outside in daywear.

[Michelle 51]

I know how you feel. Sometime's i feel like dressing in a shirt,top, heels etc and just get it over with.Just to be yourself and dress how you like and go about your business but like a lot of us on here i probaly never will. justabit

[shauna 9]

I know the feeling and fully aware I will never be able to live out of the closet.