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Thread: Anyone regret coming out?

  1. #1
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    Anyone regret coming out?

    Many of the posts on this site contain positive accounts of how girls have managed to come about their CDing to their wives, girlfriends, familes etc without disastrous results. Whilst this is reassuring for those like myself still in the closet, I wonder if the the outcomes are always positive? How many girls here wish that they had kept their CDing secret from their SOs, familes, workmates etc? Have their been any disastrous consequences socially or professionally?

  2. #2
    Love my little puppy Ashleigh's Avatar
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    Not for a second.
    Ashleigh
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  3. #3
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    Oh my god, absolutly not.

    Everything is better now. I know my friends are actually my friends. No more hiding, no worrying about who will find out because everyone knows.

    Coming out means no stress, no anxiety, just living my life.

  4. #4
    Woman at heart Veronica 1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jaina View Post
    Oh my god, absolutly not.

    Everything is better now. I know my friends are actually my friends. No more hiding, no worrying about who will find out because everyone knows.

    Coming out means no stress, no anxiety, just living my life.
    I totally agree, things are much better now.
    Sister will you…
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  5. #5
    Silver Member trannie T's Avatar
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    I suspect coming out to my brother may have something to do with global warming. Aside from that it is all positive. It is a wonderful world beyond the closet door.
    It takes a real man to wear a dress.

  6. #6
    Senior Citizen Mary Morgan's Avatar
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    Absolutely not. If I have one regret it is that I wasn't born a few years later in a society that was at least willing to talk about it. This is a marvelous time for us, but it wasn't always so. The next few years will bring much freedom to our community and therefore less anxiety to our loved ones. They have been my greatest concern. As for me, I am 60 years old and my best years are behind me. Now I can only hope that God allows me to be a transgender, if not a woman, in the next life so that I can try to get it right.

  7. #7
    Member Billie's Avatar
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    I do. Before my wife thought it was kinda funny for me to wear her clothes. We shared panties. I told her one day and that all came to an end. She doesn't like it anymore. It added to stuff that was going downhill anyway, the other parts of our lives have gotten better. I'm now too scared to bring it up again. She'll mention that she's noticed this site on a computer if I don't clear the history, but I think she's worried someone else will find it.

  8. #8
    Pausing To Femme-flect melissacd's Avatar
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    Well in terms of my 25 year relationship coming out was a total disaster and ended it. In terms of how I feel about myself, it is the best thing I did and I only wish that I had done it sooner, perhaps life would have been much different, but in a positive way.
    What stop do I get off at? Hmmm...

  9. #9
    Just trying to be me jennCD's Avatar
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    My only regret was not telling my wife years ago.
    In fact we just finished watching the rebroadcast of today's Oprah show about 2 trans-families together.

    I was actually worried about asking her to watch it with me since I don't want to feel I'm pushing her to get "involved" in my transgenderishness faster than she is comfortable but she decided she wanted to watch it too. During commercials, we spoke a bit about my personal experiences as they related to what she was seeing and hearing.

    Even though she's known about my other self now for a few months, I still prefer to take it slow and go at her pace, acceptance-wise. I have all the time in the world now that I can be open with her about everything... and one day, who knows, maybe we'll both feel like we each know the Real Me.

    jenn

  10. #10
    ADMINISTRATOR Sandra's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jaina View Post
    Oh my god, absolutly not.

    Everything is better now. I know my friends are actually my friends. No more hiding, no worrying about who will find out because everyone knows.

    Coming out means no stress, no anxiety, just living my life.
    This also is how I felt when we told people about Nigella, we live our lives how we want and not hiding from everyone
    Sandra
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  11. #11
    life is a journey Mitch23's Avatar
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    not disastrous consequences. I feel like i can live my life with a degree of honesty that i have never had before. should have done it years ago. I am weary of the constant negativity from my wife and her deeply entrenched and unbending attitude

    mitch

  12. #12
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    Yes!! It cost me my marriage to the one woman i truly loved...We had been together since just after we left school.[27 years]..I honestly wish i,d never told her, then, even though i,d still be in the closet, i,d still be with her!!.....The only good thing to come out of this, is i have finally accepted who i am!!
    Last edited by Deborah Jane; 10-13-2007 at 04:44 AM.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member Gisele's Avatar
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    I came out to me GF six years ago on our fifth date and have no regrets period. It was the best move that I could have made. I am now living the way I always wanted to.

    I just now want to come clean with my mother soon. My father I will never tell.
    I am in love with the most understanding GG and my biggest fan. Jennifer, I love you!

  14. #14
    New Member / longtime CD JamieTV's Avatar
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    It is so nice to have my SO help me in my fem life. She especially loves when I shop with her. So I will never say that I was sorry about bring her into my lifestyle.....
    Jamie[SIZE="4"][/SIZE]

    Life is too short not to have the right heels

  15. #15
    Member rachellenicole's Avatar
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    Coming out has been a wonderful thing for me, I have done this with 2 very special people in my life. My wife and my sister.

    Rach

  16. #16
    Member Veronica E. Scott's Avatar
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    regret coming out?

    In a word YES.

    I have been married 42 yrs this coming April,I told my wife about my other side almost 3 yrs ago and life will never be the same. she has been in therapy ever since I told her,she wants nothing to do with my dressing although she doesn't mind going shopping she just doesn't want to see it. We use to have an active sex life but that has stopped and we use to share the same bed and now I have my own room we are like room mates.But all in all life is not bad I no longer have to hide I just cant leave my room when dressed unless she is not home I don't have to hide my clothing in a box I can hang it in the closet which is getting to small and she sometimes gives me some of her old clothing she no longer wants so it is and it isn't time moves on. we shall see.
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  17. #17
    Happy sixties Eugenie's Avatar
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    No, I don't regret having come out to a selected number of people, including my wife, a long time ago, and several other friends and my children more recently (My children are respectively 37 and 35)

    I also told a few ex-colleagues ( I'm on pre-retirement) They looked surprised but didn't turn away. One female colleague told me"Now I understand better why you were making compliments on my skirts and dresses..."

    Indeed, it is not only that I have no regrets, but that I wuld like to come out to more friends... But I'm still a bit shy with my male friends...


    Eugenie

  18. #18
    I'm wishing to be her SANDRA MICHELLE's Avatar
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    anyone regret coming out?

    I came out to my wife after 18 years, she's still hanging in quite well but has good days and bad ones. It is now about 3 and a half years since and my only real regret is that I did not tell her before we got married and also that I have not come out completely to everyone, thats what I really want to do but it would almost certainly wreck the marriage and that is more important to me.

  19. #19
    The Girl Next Door Sally24's Avatar
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    My personal experience so far has been very good, but I have friends that have had the exact opposite. One person told her girl friend and immediately lost her. They talk occasionally now but that is it. Several married girls are having rocky times because their wives are not that accepting. It all depends on when in the relashionship you tell them, what kind of person they are, and other things you can't control. As always, sooner is better, truthful is better, but neither is a gaurantee of happiness.

    Good Luck
    Sally

  20. #20
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    The messages I take from these responses are:

    1. tell your SO early in the relationship.
    2. if you have kept it a secret in your relationship for a longtime then think very carefully about coming out. It may work out but it could backfire badly.

    I wonder if those girls who regret telling their SO anticipated that it would not be accepted and vice versa for those who found their SOs supportive/accepting. My guess is that if you think that your SO will react badly then she probably will.

  21. #21
    Member sami1952's Avatar
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    The day I let my wife know about my cding was the best day of my life,which meant that i didn't have to hide from her any longer and it was a great relief to me knowing that i didn't have to hide it.
    janielatb: I'm in love with the person inside me.

  22. #22
    Silver Member Joanne f's Avatar
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    To my wife no, and to my children well they are slowly getting to hear a bit more about it and there seems to be no problem so far , but to extended family and those that i thought were friends and other people that knew me a big yes, i have lost my so called friends and the others well i will not go into that .

    joanne

  23. #23
    Member Valerie's Avatar
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    Absolutely not

    I only regret not having told my wife earlier. I am so very much happier now and it saved me from a prolonged and deep funk. Would I tell other people? Probably not. It does not seem necessary for me at this time.

    Valerie

  24. #24
    T-something Marla S's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sarahpectoris
    Have their been any disastrous consequences socially or professionally?
    Well, the decision to not longer hide it didn't contribute to maintain my relationship and it's not something which makes it more easy to find a job.

    Nevertheless I don't regret that step, it gave me a lot for other aspects of life.

    More of a win-lose situation rather than a win-win situation.

    If I'd had have the choice, I'd have chosen not to have the need to no longer hide it. Aka, it would make no odds to me not being TG ... but there is no choice.
    Last edited by Marla S; 10-14-2007 at 10:59 AM.

  25. #25
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    I'm out only to my wife with no regret at all I now dress % day a week, if i did not come out to her I would not be dressing at all now that she can't work
    Angie

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