Firstly, I premise this thead by saying. When it comes to SOs and what works or does not work, is not like one size fits all pantyhose.
My fortunate experience may not be the same for you, so I will never advise anyone to tell their SO. No one ever should. That is irresponsible.
I will say though, that when my SO found out, wish I could have told you that I was the brave one who was forthcomging, but I can't, she found out when she saw our credit card statement and saw that I was buying wigs and hi heels.
Sorry for the tangent, but since she found out and got over the initial shock and feeling of betrayal she really came around full circle. She has been the most supportive person in my life. We go shopping together for everything, she is very very comfortable with Rita. I am sure of it for reasons that I will not go into right now.
I now think about things the way they are and can kick myself for not letting her know. Not that I did because she found out on her own, but if I had it to do over I would have told her years ago.
Today, I have a wardrobe that has become a dream come true and we borrow from each other.
I share this only because it may help someone out there.
Again no one should ever advise anyone to take a step with their life that could prove disasterous because only the person taking that step will face the consequences alone.