Why can,t society just let us be ourselves?

[Deborah Jane]

Hi Yall...
Like many of us here i dress quite often [most evenings] and sleep in a nightie.
I have to go back to my guy self during the day for work, etc and i,m really starting to reach a point where i resent this and just want to be able to live my life as i wish!!
Quite often now i wish i could stay girly all the time and just forget about having to go back to drab, unless i actually want too!!

Does anyone feel this way and wish society would just let us live the way we want too without fear of recrimination!!

[Tina Dixon]

I think every one wishes that, I would love to say I think I'll wear a skirt to work today and know one cares, but it will never happen.

[Sally1979ct]

Yeah, Same here ... I honnestly thinking now just to dress girly everyday .. Im ok with my Job Because i do Freelance work and do most of it at home anyways ..

I Mainly just dress at Night time and go out then . with my son, The Dark mornings and nites will be here soon and will be out all day , Because i can get out of my street without anyone seeing me

Sally

[Shelly Preston]

I think if society just lets us wear what we want away from work without any rude comments most of us would be happy

[Deborah Jane]

Personally, i,m just getting completely sick of the whole facade of trying to be something that i,m not, just to keep everyone else happy!!
Unless i,m dressed i tend to get stressed very easily and most days i just can,t wait to get home and be able to be myself!!
I am starting to reach a point where i resent the fact that i was born with the wrong bits and because of that, i have to be something i,m not just to follow the so called rules of society!!

[KandisTX]

There's an old saying here in the US. There are only 2 things we HAVE to do, pay taxes and die. Everything else is optional.

If you are that unhappy having to live "a lie", then change it, go full time and live your life as your femme self. No, it won't be an easy transition especially if you are not TS (however the statement of "being born with the wrong bits" would lend itself to believe you feel you are TS). However, the decision is yours and yours alone to make, but you must remember that your single choice will effect many people, like your family and friends.

Kandis

[Deborah Jane]

However, the decision is yours and yours alone to make, but you must remember that your single choice will effect many people, like your family and friends.

Kandis

Hi Kandis, it,s because of my 3 children that going full time will never be an option for me. Everyone else in my life, i could survive without them, but without being able to spend time with my kids, my life would become totally pointless!!

BTW..I,m not sure that i am TS, but the fact that in my mind i could live my life how i want too and wear what i want without recrimination is making me start to resent "the bits"!!

[Vivian Best]

As other girls have said, it's your decision! However, every decision has consequences to it and you have to understand them. So it all boils down to your feelings verses the consequences. Some have already mentioned some of the consequences and that is the impact on family, friends and job. It's your and only your decision to make. Good luck on making the right one for you.

[KandisTX]

Hi Kandis, it,s because of my 3 children that going full time will never be an option for me. Everyone else in my life, i could survive without them, but without being able to spend time with my kids, my life would become totally pointless!!

BTW..I,m not sure that i am TS, but the fact that in my mind i could live my life how i want too and wear what i want without recrimination is making me start to resent "the bits"!!

I can agree with regard to the children. No need to explain that part to me.

However, You say "I want to wear what I want without recrimination". It would seem to me that being in England would offer you more freedom to do so than I have here in the US. Granted, I haven't been there since 1988/1989 time frame, but I seem to recall seeing a large number of TGurls out and about in London (and not just in Piccadilly Circus) when I was there.

Kandis
((My first wife was an Essex girl))

[Deborah Jane]

It would seem to me that being in England would offer you more freedom to do so than I have here in the US.

I think it depends what area you live in in England. Where i live there are a lot retired and elderly people with old fashioned, conservative views. To many of them we would be unacceptable!
Moving too far away from my kids to be able to be myself, isn,t an option i,d consider.

[Karren H]

Who knows? Them's the rules... And if everyone were allowed to do and wear what ever they wanted then the whole social order would break down... End up a mess... Anarchy!! Very prettily dressed Anarchists mind you but still anarchy!!! Hehehe

But then if everyone could wear what ever they wanted then it wouldn't be crossdressing any more would it? I'd have to find a new hobby... Secret agent in charge of rounding up enfemme Archanists? Lol

Rules don't bother me... I happy no matter how I'm dressed...

[karynspanties]

I know what you mean. It would be nice to be able to wear what I want without any comments. Kind of like the (sorry for the terminology) bull dykes that dress completely in mens clothes and never a word is spoken. But I would be happy to just be able to wear something with spagetti straps and not worry about seeing them under my male attire. I doubt that this will ever happen in our lifetime.

[Melanie R]

For many in society worldwide, there are only two boxes blue for masculine and pink for feminine. There is no third box or acceptance of persons who move between boxes. There are exceptions. I remember when my wife and I sponsored a cruise to Tahiti in 2001. Our group of crossdressers were almost worshipped by the people of Tahiti. When our ship came in mothers brought their children to see us. The entire island knew we would be spending a week on the Tahitian Islands. Tahiti is what I call transgender paradise on earth. You may enjoy the link to a presentation of the cruise put together by Heidi of California and wife, Monika. Enjoy!

http://www.geocities.com/heidixxxxx/cruise3.htm

[CaptLex]

Kind of like the (sorry for the terminology) bull dykes that dress completely in mens clothes and never a word is spoken.

[Claire3]

Does that we dont care about our male side,the hard drinking matey one?If we have one?

[Mydia]

Of course we all wish that, but unfortunately it will probably never be so T_T

[adelle]

hi girlz hope you all had a great day, i feel the same way as Deb, why cand we just go about and do and dress like we feel comfy in, but i think the sollution to this is with us as parents, the reason why i say this is here in my house i teach my kids the real values of life and that we as persons MAY NOT look down at other people and that we all have equal rights, we have a gay friend visiting us from time to time and my kids knoe that he is just as normal as any other person and has a right to be him self, so maybe in the next generation it would work but for now? we must bare it and teach society that we are not freaks, the real freaks are those who rape their children and their woman, love you all

[KimberlyS]

Deborah, IMHO you have the answer for your own question.

...I have to go back to my guy self during the day for work, etc ....

Why do you "have to" become your guy self and not just be who you are? You do not need to answer that. The point is many of us are not out to the general public, to family and friends. So it looks like we are hiding. And this is what the general public sees is that we are some unknown number of people hiding and wanting rights. And hiding is often associated with something being wrong.

So while as a group the TG community has gained some acceptance, IMHO we will not gain wide scale acceptance until a lot more of us come out of the wood work and get counted and they can see they we are not such bad people.

I reference groups of the past that wanted rights and acceptance, most recently the gays/lesbians. Large numbers of them coming out and having rallies, peaceful demonstrations at state and federal government grounds. The groups showed that they were a sizable number of people to be dealt with and suddenly they went from bad people to our neighbors, friends, family, co-workers, and other real people we could deal with and had already been dealing with. They were suddenly more like us than we thought.

[TGMarla]

Sure, that would be great. I'd wear dresses a lot if permitted by the greater majority. But you can't please everybody, and mainstream society has a ways to go in its acceptance of gender benders. So I find it's best to strike a balance, and learn to like yourself despite what you're wearing at the moment.

Balance, DJ, balance!

[MJ]

Personally, i,m just getting completely sick of the whole facade of trying to be something that i,m not, just to keep everyone else happy!!
Unless i,m dressed i tend to get stressed very easily and most days i just can,t wait to get home and be able to be myself!!I am starting to reach a point where i resent the fact that i was born with the wrong bits and because of that, i have to be something i,m not just to follow the so called rules of society!!

i felt the same way debs the problem is it just gets worse

Hi Kandis, it,s because of my 3 children that going full time will never be an option for me. Everyone else in my life, i could survive without them, but without being able to spend time with my kids, my life would become totally pointless!!

i understand your fear but are you so sure . my children are just fine with me .. ever try talking with them ..

debs i love you to bits but i can see you going full time real soon Hun .. why because you sound just like me..

[Deborah Jane]

i understand your fear but are you so sure . my children are just fine with me .. ever try talking with them ..

Hi MJ. My kids are ok with my c/ding, but it,s pretty clear to me they want to keep me as their dad and be as close to the way they,ve always known me as possible.
I won,t push it further with them at the moment, because i don,t think theres any point in risking what i allready have with them.

[Nicki B]

I think it depends what area you live in in England. Where i live there are a lot retired and elderly people with old fashioned, conservative views. To many of them we would be unacceptable!

Debs, have you ever tried?

Or are you perhaps imagining what would happen? IIRC, you live not that far from Brighton & Hove - which is an extremely accepting place (and with a high population of older people)?

You might find that if you got out some of the time, your feelings might get less fierce..

[Amy Hepker]

I do believe it is a lot better now than it ever was before. Remember Great things take time.

[kym]

i firmly believe that the main problem with society goes back to this conceot: a majority of the people in this world fear that which they them selves do not understand. to simplify even more if we are not understood then we are feared in some way, so it is our duty as sisters to get out and educate the general public on us.

[lisalove]

Until everyone here and elsewhere just says WTF and just do it, "society" isn't going to accept us as us. The blacks did it , the gays did it, the punks did it, and everyone else that are now accepted but weren't not too long ago, did it. It's time to put your best high heeled foot out there and start being yourself, til then, just accept that society isn't going to accept you.