Do you ever worry you might pass it on?

[Valerie Nicole]

I don't know whether there's a genetic or environmental factor that determines crossdressing, and I'm not sure it matters to my question. I don't know why, but I've been thinking about what might happen if I ever have children. Even though I don't think there's a correlation between crossdressing fathers and crossdressing children, it's possible that anyone's children could turn out this way.

I guess I'm worried about what it might mean for my children if they do turn out like this. I know how hard it has been for me to live with, and I wouldn't want them to go through the same thing. I also know that I would somehow always blame myself for it. And, I feel terrible for saying this part of it, but I don't think I would ever want to see a child of mine dressed, even though I know how big a part of the lifestyle being seen has been for me (though not by my parents, just close female friends).

[Nicole Erin]

Normally dressing has nothng to do with if the father did.
My dad is one of those manly men as is my big brother.

So yeah if you ever have a son, it is unlikely that he will dress.

I don't think my son has any desire to express a femme side. He seems to not like anything feminine.

[Niya W]

Interesting, could the same thing be said of women that like CD's. I know a women that is married to a CD and her daughter is daughter is dating a CD

[Karren H]

You act like its some dreaded heriditary defect or something.. Unclean!! Unclean!! Hahaha. Sure its out of the mainstream... But hey.. If all my kids want to crossdress.. That's their decision!! And I'd be fine with what ever makes them happy.. I'm happy so why not them??

Karren

[Billijo49504]

all my children were girls, so it doesn't matter much!!..BJ

[goofus]

You act like its some dreaded heriditary defect or something.. Unclean!! Unclean!! Hahaha. Sure its out of the mainstream... But hey.. If all my kids want to crossdress.. That's their decision!! And I'd be fine with what ever makes them happy.. I'm happy so why not them??

Karren

I'm with you Karren, you gotta accept, love, & support your children no matter what. Imagine if all of our parents would have done the same?

[teresa jeen]

pretty much all the things youve been told about raising children are out the window. like most of us we tend to say things to try and mask it in front of the other kids with in earshot. even tho some of them may be in their teens!!!if you raise a "kid" with alot of hell raisin and parting goin on, guess what ,your gonna get in return. its kinda like goin to work at a new job. you will do what it takes to fit in even tho you may not fully agree with it. just to get that reward at the end.

[Mary Morgan]

Valerie, Imagine a world where none of the differences between individuals matters. Not left-handeness, not height, nor weight, nor color of skin. Imagine a world where we all truly love each other and support each other. Now imagine a rainbow with no color, no brightness or shinyness. Imagine a world where we all agree on everything that is truly important. Imagine.

[sterling12]

I have to agree with Karen. We are not talking about some type of serious disability. Try this simple test: Which problem would you prefer to deal with? 1.) My child likes to wear clothing of the opposite sex. Compared to: 2.) My child has Insulin Dependant diabetes. 3.) My child has a drug problem. 4.) My child has Muscular Dystrophy. 5.) My child was born without sight. And, we could go on and on....

There is certainly no valid research about CD being caused by a genetic trait. Presupposing that your son would be born CD is probably a huge waste of emotions, and your being very negative about being transgender. Could it be, that you are transposing your own negative feelings about yourself on to this hypothetical child. Perhaps for a TG child born in the future, it won't be a very big problem.

Face it, if your kids were Gay, you would still love and accept them, same thing with a child who is transgendered. The reality is, as a parent your probably going to find much bigger things to agonize over. It just goes with the territory!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Taniawilde]

Karen, of course we'd embrace our children no matter what, but we see the world from a different perspective. It's how the rest of the world would see them. We'd be able to advise them how to make the most of their selves, something it took many of us years to achieve. Wait, I'm assuming they'd listen to us! What would a parent know? (And each of us said THAT at least once.

[trannie T]

Valerie Nicole, your post seems to say that there is something wrong with crossdressing. There is nothing wrong with crossdressing. There is nothing wrong with being a crossdresser. You have nothing to be ashamed of.
Your question should read, "How Proud Would You Be If Your Son Was a Crossdresser?"

[Kate Simmons]

While nothing can be done about genetics, there is something you can do about your children and that is love them. I have unreserved, unconditional love for mine and always will. As parents there is a tendency for us to always want the best for them. There comes a time however when you must let them become their own person and that is the real test of love. Some of my abilities and propensities have been passed on to mine but it's entirely up to them how they want to utilize and express them. I have a great deal of love and respect for them in any case and that will never change.

[Lucy Bright]

Not knowing the causes of my own crossdressing it's hard to be sure, but I don't feel it's much more likely that my son will crossdress than any other boy. That said, being a CD myself has certainly made me more aware of the possibility that he might - and as he's just now at the age I was when I first started, and he takes after me in many many other ways, I'm keeping my eyes open! But only because, if it turns out he is CD, or anything else he might mistakenly feel ashamed about, I want to make sure he knows that he'll get unconditional support from me, and not have to spend decades hiding it as I did. (Having said this, I am not yet out to my own children - I'm a slow learner, and there are factors that make that unwise at the moment - but he knows this is a tran-friendly house.)

How would I feel if he was CD? Ambivalent. Most of the 'curse' of CDing comes from within - the inappropriate shame, the anxiety about being caught, the habits of deception and concealment, and the (consequent?) dangers of self-absorption and narcissism. All these I hope I could help him with - but I can do less about the hostile attitude of society in general, and I'd like to spare him that. But honestly, if someone could give me a pill that would take away my CD/TGness for ever, I would certainly refuse to take it - so in fairness I wouldn't want to wish it away from those I love either, if they had it in the first place.

Rambling as usual, la la la,

Lucy

[Brianna Lovely]

How would I feel if he was CD? Ambivalent. Most of the 'curse' of CDing comes from within - the inappropriate shame, the anxiety about being caught, the habits of deception and concealment, and the (consequent?) dangers of self-absorption and narcissism. All these I hope I could help him with - but I can do less about the hostile attitude of society in general, and I'd like to spare him that. But honestly, if someone could give me a pill that would take away my CD/TGness for ever, I would certainly refuse to take it - so in fairness I wouldn't want to wish it away from those I love either, if they had it in the first place.
Lucy

What you can do, with your children, no matter their gender, is to teach them to be accepting, loving, people.

What you can do, for your children, is try to educate society, about TG issues and feelings.

Then maybe your children, won't grow up in such a hateful world, and you won't have worry about them carrying the shame that you have.

[Valerie Nicole]

Just to clear up a misunderstanding, my main concern when I made this post wasn't about whether crossdressing was a genetic or environmentally caused lifestyle, but just how I would deal with it if it turned out my children were crossdressers. I know I would love and support them no matter what, but I would hate to think that they'd go through all the fear and crises that go with the lifestyle.

It's kind of like having someone close to you die. Am I a stronger person for losing people close to me? Yes. Would I undo it? No. I've made my peace with it and I know it happened for a reason. Would I wish that other people (ie. my children) go through the same experience? Definitely not. But again, if it did happen I would know that they would come out stronger, and that it must have happened for a reason.

That's sort of where I stand with crossdressing. I'm sure there's a reason for it, and I know it's made me stronger, but I wouldn't want to see any children of mine have to face all the fear and self-inflicted shame of living this life. I would hate to think that my children hated themselves for doing something they couldn't stop, simply because society teaches us that it's strange and abnormal, if not downright wrong.

So you see, it's not about what actually causes crossdressing, but what life would be like if, for any reason, a child, or multiple children, of mine turned out to be crossdressers.

[kim85]

all my children were girls, so it doesn't matter much!!..BJ

Sorry if ive mise-read this but surely it doesnt matter if they are girls or boys. As proven on this forum there are FTM and MTF.

[pamela_a]

My son is 15 now. The biggest problem in my household I could see if he started to cross dress would be his mother. My wife tolerates my dressing but I'm confident all hell would break loose if he started and I would be to blame for it.

-Paula-

[Kerrie Sifton]

The likelihood of my son crossdressing is slight, would it be a problem no. But I am looking forward to the day when cd'ng is simply not an issue. As I admire the looks of many girls here, i note that they are simply getting prettier and more put together. feminine yes and dressed well... to me thats the way to go.

[Laura B.]

Valerie,

I often wondered if it was genetic. My father told me he was a crossdresser about a year before he passed away. I also have my suspicions about his dad. I say this because my grandmother tried several times when I was very young to get me into a dress with the approval of my dad's father. At Christmas gift exchanges she would always get something like pantyhose for a gag gift in the hopes a male would end up with it. I'm not that concerned about passing it on because I have five daughters and I can't tell if they crossdress or not, they just wear whatever they want!

[JenniferR771]

Well Valarie, was your father a CD? Your mother? Your brothers?

Probably not genetic.

My duaghters seem normal--but one can never really be sure.

[charllote34]

I wouldnt have a problem if my kids wanted to crossdress so long as they didnt nick my stuff!!

[Joanne f]

Well for a start i feel like a cd is a person who is in touch with their self`s, not afraid to show what they are feeling inside, can that really be a bad thing to pass on and also you are young it is a lot more accepted now as to when i was young so going on that by the time your children are your age i would like to think that it will be even more accepted.


joanne

[Wendy me]

turn out like this.????? lol rather they did than some closed minded fool....when my youngest son was small some of my things went missing and found in his room ... never caught him wearing anything .... i am sure he knows a bought me .... but i am not sure i know abought him ..... some day if it's meant to be we will talk...........

[Vanessa38d]

I have two young sons, the older is nearly 5 years old and the younger isn't even 2 yet.

When my older son was about 2 he would go into our closest and get out my wife's high heel shoes (mine were always hidden away) and wear them around. My wife (who knows about my dressing) and I used to joke about how the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree.

We were in no way ashamed or upset and we all got a laugh out of it. Now that he is older, he is all boy and is at that age where he rejects all things related to girls.

Of course should he or my other son, ever want to crossdress they would at least have someone very close to them that would understand and support them 100%.

[Robertacd]

No worries!

My wife already found one of her old bras stuffed under our sons pillow.

She showed me and asked "Good God, Do all you guys do this?".

I just said "I guess so".

BTW: My son does not know about my dressing.

We put it back under his pillow and never said anything to him about it.

We'll cross that bridge when we have to.