Well. for a bit of a laugh...
I did a photo shoot last sunday with a professional photographer who wanted more Dark Faeries for his portfolio. It was lots of fun.
His girlfriend walked up to me more and said:
"I don't know what is more insulting to me as a woman. The fact that you are a guy under all of that, or that you look better in a dress than I do"
Having read this thread a few days ago when it started I had to stifle a laugh
*hugs*
Zara
VERY cute and endearing. You go, gurl!Originally Posted by Lady Zarabeth
His girlfriend walked up to me more and said:
"I don't know what is more insulting to me as a woman. The fact that you are a guy under all of that, or that you look better in a dress than I do"
Having read this thread a few days ago when it started I had to stifle a laugh
*hugs*
Zara
Please tell me you're joking. Maybe you can redeem how rude, cold, judgmental and humorless your response sounded.
The type of people I was talking about -- which I originally only mentioned briefly because I thought it'd be obvious I was talking about total creeps who are an insult to everybody -- are not people with gender identity issues to be respected. They're people who have no respect for anybody who are just looking for a sexual thrill.
Regardless, it's not shallow to want people to put effort into things. When I see a fat girl pouring out of low-rise jeans, I'm not thinking, "Good for her!" like a lot of confused people are. I'm thinking it's an insult to all the beautiful girls who shop at Lane Bryant. I'm thinking she needs to wear something that fits. Maybe I'm a jerk, but I'd much rather be in a world full of jerks like me than people who just don't care.
If I expect people to respect me, then I have to start by respecting other people - whether they look outside the norm, whether they're, or whatever...fat
The worst thing that could happen to this world is that everybody becomes the same?
Nicki
[SIZE="1"]Moi?[/SIZE]
Absolutely agree with you here... my wife would be the first to say being a woman is no bed or roses -- it's hard work being a wife, mother, employee and all the things that go into running a household! So she doesn't have time to dress in all the clothes that I enjoy wearing, the skirts, blouses, dresses, skirtsuits and such (she usually wears tops, sweaters, pants and slacks).
I crossdress because I have always enjoyed the clothes -- I love how they feel, how they look and how I look in them. Having feminine mannerisms and looking like a woman in the clothes is just part of who I am when I am presenting myself as Karen -- in other words, I certainly couldn't act like a guy in the same outfits and expect to pass/blend in. Since I got into my 30s, I have branched out to wear casual women's clothing in public and dress for the situation, but I never was one to dress in ****ty attention-getting clothes like low-cut tops and short skirts, etc., anyway.
I think we all dress *at times* like the ideal woman we would like to be. And yes, I do like shopping for outfits and shoes as much as I like wearing them. I don't think that's mocking women, it's just something I like to do. And my mother, who was well aware and very accepting of my crossdressing from a young age, made sure that I dressed and acted in an appropriate manner so I wouldn't draw undue attention to myself, nor would I be construed as mocking womanhood in my dress or actions. When I'm Karen, I'm just me, but a little more feminine me in nicer clothes. And a closer shave.
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes..."
In all honesty the answer to this question depends entirely on who you are speaking to. Some women will say they are insulted, while others will tell you they are flattered. For myself, when I dress to go out, I am trying my best to pass as a female and not be obviously a man in a dress. This takes hard work and LOTS of practice. Just as women put in lots of work to glam themselves up to go out, we CDs have to do just the same, only we have more work because we must cover up the rugged features and such that just comes with being a testosterone laden male.
Kandis
Someone once told me "Put on Your big girl panties and deal with it". If they only knew, I WAS ALREADY WEARING THEM.
I wear the bras and panties so my wife doesn't have to.
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I've been able to speak with a few women about why I dress and how I try to emulate what I admire about women. They have been appreciative of the effort and seemed to understand. However, I'm sure there are some women who wouldn't sit still long enough to listen to me. It has to be a personal response to what they see. Some will accept and some will condem you, so it really comes down to how you feel about yourself.
If you feel you are doing your best to understand what you are doing, enjoy yourself and present yourself as "lady-like" as you can, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Those who don't accept you will have to find their own peace.
Exactly Nicki. Like there aren't enough "Borg" around already. It takes guts to be yourself these days and I have a great deal of respect for those who are, no matter what their "persuasion" is.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Are cross dressers insulting to women? hmmm, well my answer would be my answer to are cross dressers (female to male) insulting to men? let's face it there are twice as many women that can and do get away with dressing in mens clothing, weather it is wearing a t shirt or shoes or whatever.. face the facts, women can get away with it because they won't call each other "fag" or whatever they feel as the ultimate put down because women are after all cooler than men are when it comes to accepting these types of things... I think also that women are more accepting of men dressing in their clothes.. are they insulted?? some are I'm sure.. well most say they are, but when the glare of the day light is dimmed most women probably think it would be ok...
Much to my "Shagrin", We can not ever no what a GG go through.
We can have a baby we do have cramps or pms. However I am told that some TS's do have a form of PMS sometimes, Hormone! But the thrill of wearing great clothes and getting away with alot is woinderful.
I some time don't understand why real women complain! I think it is because we take the "TIME" to look our best! I have seen many women who have taken the time to look there best and look great! My Mother was a perfect example of that she took "THE TIME" to look great before she left the house EVERYTIME ALWAYS!
We do it for fun and enjoyment we make the time! I understand that people in general have no time at all. But if we took the time to do and be our best then what a world it would be!
Love Tammy
[B][LEFT][CENTER][/CENTERTammy
Time for a newbie to get into the fray here, my opinion is that crossdressing is not insulting to women. Of course, you may say that I am biased, but maybe there could be some other issues here. Maybe the spouse feels threatened as if the cd'ing is taking attention away from her, or in a sense "cheating" in a way. Just a thought, definitely not the answer.
If a women is insulted bu OUR desires to dress as we feel it's there problem.
I thought several years back a technique was developed where a man could carry an embryo in the abdominal cavity far enough for the baby survive. As far as I know it just hasn't been used yet.Much to my "Shagrin", We can not ever no what a GG go through.
We can have a baby we do have cramps or pms. However I am told that some TS's do have a form of PMS sometimes, Hormone! But the thrill of wearing great clothes and getting away with alot is woinderful.
As I recall there was a Dr. Alex Hesse who did just that in 1994.
I wish I had known of this before I carried all of our children. I wouldn't have minded "sharing the load" with Barb!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
When life gives you a crossdresser, screw the lemonade.......grab your bags and go shopping!!
Well over a hundred posts now, and most of the answers given are from transfolk - whereas the only people who can really answer the question are women?
Nicki
[SIZE="1"]Moi?[/SIZE]
Im not sure any gender is able to answer this... it is only the individual who has these concerns that can truely give us the answer.In today's fast-paced world there seems to be a greater tendency for people to act aggressively toward each other. Some are quick to take offense and respond angrily to real or imagined affronts, and we've all experienced or heard reports of road rage or other examples of rude, insensitive behavior.
Unfortunately, some of this spills over into our homes, creating friction and tension among family members.
It may seem natural to react to a situation by giving back what is given to us. But it doesn't have to be that way. Reflecting on his horrendous wartime experiences, Viktor Frankl recalled: "We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way" (Man's Search for Meaning [1985], 86; emphasis added).
That is noble behavior and a high expectation, but Jesus expects no less of us. "Love your enemies," He said, "bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you"
:GE:Don't sweat the small stuff...and its all SMALL stuff.
I can't see that dressing as female is insulting. We suffer from envy if anything. However; female partners might find it insulting to them as they may feel demeaned by the fact that they think it might be their fault they can hold you to masculinity.
AS for wives reaction I can tell you most would probably wish it would go away. Take my wife who is very very supportive of my need to dress and I do dress alsmost 24/7 now. If I asked her does she wish it would go away I positive her answer would be yes.
Unlike fetish pleasures this is a lifestyle for us. I not only walk the walk I am involved in most feminine acitivities at home and I enjoy very much my more femme side as does my wife.
I hope you don't mind me droning on.
Hugs to all
Margot
Thanks for shedding some light to this thread.
Most of which you state above, I whole heartedly agree with!
Last edited by Christine Kelly; 12-29-2007 at 07:08 AM.
Mine likes it and fully supports me.
I started at the beginning of this thread tonight and got as far as page 3, I'd had what I thought was a different approach to this question and couldn't wait to put my
It's not something done to flatter women, it's done for personal emotional enjoyment, just as some people change their hair color/style. And some women LOVE shopping. Some hate it. Some women love high heels. some don't. It's the diversity of being human. All women are not alike, & enjoying "girly" things is not a crime.
If you think all CD's think that way ( household chores being "feminine" etc. ) you should read more of this site for example & discover the reality.
I'm a GG and currently going through just this struggle. It's not the c/ding that bothers me, it's whether the motive is personal or sexual. What's the purpose of dressing up and going out... to see your girlfriends, or sexual liaisons? I hope I don't offend anyone, my feelings are still a little raw at the moment...Well over a hundred posts now, and most of the answers given are from transfolk - whereas the only people who can really answer the question are women?
I also don't like being pestered about what *I* wear... I'm not going to don a short skirt, pantyhose and high heels just to grab a loaf of bread.
Each to his/her own and, on that note, there are some beautiful ladies on here whose legs I would kill for
I propose that the idea that crossdressing is insulting to women is itself insulting to women, to men, to the intersexed, to transsexuals, to freedom and to sentience everywhere.
It either suggests that one gender or the other is demeaning, that femininity is demeaning in men or that femininity itself is demeaning, it suggests that sexual diversity is demeaning, that being between genders is demeaning, that being different is demeaning, that to transgress conformist doctrine is demeaning, to be free is demeaning.
Nope, I'm sorry but I can't think of a way that crossdressing could be demeaning without that notion being demeaning to one or more of those groups, in fact to most and maybe all of them.
In fact I can't see how even fetishistic and provocative crossdressing in public (within legal/ethical bounds) can be intrinsically demeaning without demeaning most of that list.
Hi.
My name is Chloe and I am a new GG here. MY BF is a CD.
I hope I am not out of line posting this.
I can only think of one time when I am insulted by what other people wear. I may think someone is strange or different or fashionable for what they wear but I don't feel insulted by it. Its them not me wearing what ever they are wearing. The only time I have real feelings over what someone is wearing is when a GG dresses like a ****. But then again that's them not me and should not reflect on me.
I may base my opinion of YOU on what YOU are wearing but it does not change my opinion of my self.
What is feminine? In beauty school we did makeovers and we always just try to make women look more feminine because a woman looks more beautiful when she looks more feminine. The problem with a women looking feminine is sometimes you get way to much attention from men so we tone it down to a comfortable level.
I can see where some GGs could think a man dressing feminine is because he is looking for a man because that is one of the things GGs do to attract a man. My BF says he only likes women and I believe him.
Chloe
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