just some support

[Lola]

I am very much in love with a man who only recently told me about his desires to feel and act as a woman at times...

It took him a long time to tell me and i’m so glad he finally did, because while we really share a very beautifull love, something was preventing this love from becoming real real...he kept telling me there was something wrong with him. Whenever the subject of living together came along, he said he couldn’t commit because he was no good and whenever i asked him, please tell me what is it that’s wrong with you, he said he couldn’t tell me, because he was sure i would stop loving him if he did. I was really getting worried, what could be so terribly wrong about him?

When he finally told me, i could hardly believe this was “the big thing”... This is it? This is why you say you are no good? How could he think that the same qualities that made me love him so much could make me walk away from him? His gentle, sensitive perception of the world, his tender heart...

Since this whole phenomenon was pretty new to me, i mean in the way of becoming important in my life, i started reading about it (he showed me this forum) and i began to understand why he had been so afraid of telling me...losing me. To me it’s unbelievable that so many women/people in general, reject this side of the person they say they love. Of course i had to get used to it, i won’t deny that... it’s just something i could never have guessed, but never for one second i thought of it as being something that could make me look at him differently or love him less.

We are not living together (yet), but i know, if ever we do, i’m going to not just accept him dressing, but support and encourage him in every way i can, help him dress, make him look as pretty as possible, do the girlish things with him, love all the aspects of his personality... to me that’s what love is about, the happiness of the one you love is what’s making you happy...

Later he asked me now that you know, do you love me the same way you did before? and i said i love you more... looking back, realizing how he must have suffered from this and after reading what a lot of CD’s have to go through, the fear of rejection, the shame, my heart cries for all the lonely souls still hiding what might be the most vulnerable, precious part of their being, out of fear...

I think a forum like this helps to create a more realistic view on crossdressing, hopefully taking away some of the prejudices, showing crossdressers are not weird, creepy people, just people with a little something different. Therefore i thought it might help a little to tell my story here, i’m sure there must be many more women like me who love their man for the person he is, maybe you just don’t hear so much of them, maybe you just mostly hear the negative reactions, but like i said, i’m sure there must be many more for whom it just isn’t such a big deal..

And to everyone still hiding i’d like to say... please, please, tell your partner as soon as possible... it can only bring you win, she might take it a lot better than you’d expected... if not, she wasn’t the right person for you in the first place and the sooner you find that out, the better it is for both of you...

[Dana_cd]

LoLa,
as I read this post I began to remember the way it was for me, for years I kept Dana hidden, yes even from my wife for the same reasons and for the fear of that maybe there was something wrong with me, and all the questions going through my own mind, and I started to get tears building up in my eyes, I know how he must have felt not telling you, and the fears he hid inside, the many questions he had for himself, wondering what may be wrong with him, I had them all....
Now I just have to say to you, "what a beautiful person you are." the love you feel for him, the support you are giving..... the male side of me says " hats off to you" the female side says " big heartfelt hugs" we can only dream for a day when we girls (like me and the others) can be who we are without heartaches and fears not just of looseing the ones we love and who are so very important in our lives, but the fears of outside rejection, and violence,
I hope for all the happyness in the world for both of you,
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR POST it is very heart warming at least for me.. (I wasn't yelling, but I wanted to emphasize a large thank you to you)
people like you and a few of the other gg's here DO make this world a much better place for girls like me.
after all everthing we are is what makes us who we are....

[Jenny Beth]

Hello Lola,

Thank you for such a wonderfully positve post. My wife is also very supportive of my fem side and we have an incredibly fantastic relationship. Unfortunately for many comming out to those we cherish most the consequences can be disasterous so we keep it to ourselves because we are either ashamed or think they will not approve. If we don't give them the chance to accept us then the deciet begins and it is a never ending cycle.
Yours is a story of honesty, understanding and acceptance and you have the basis for a sound relationship. Your presence here is certainly welcome and no doubt your experiences may help others who are wrestling with the idea of comming out.
Thanks again for your positive input on all of us, you have certainly made us all feel good knowing there is someone else out there who understands what we all about.

Jenny B

[jenny_k78]

Hi Lola,

I am glad again to see there are accepting women out there. I am single and don't want to keep this side of me from a SO when I get there. Thank You for brightening my day .

[diane]

Very well put ... thank you so much. My wife is very much like you but I can't put it in words as well as you did.

[Lola]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR POST

I was touched by your warm reaction on my post... i wanna thank you for that. To tell the truth i’ve been in doubt whether it was i good thing for me to do to write here... I was thinking, who’s waiting for this? after all, i didn’t start a discussion or asked any interesting questions, it was just a very personal statement. But i saw a lot of people have been reading it and your reaction (and the other ones) gave me the feeling that i did a good thing posting it... if only for the subject i gave my post...

[Dana_cd]

Lola,
for me you did a very good thing, it gives me warmth,and hopes for the future of me, others like me, and those of the future,
My special wish is..... that people would be more like you and the other ggs here, that can except PEOPLE not just men, girls, ect. but people for who and what ever they may be, whether it be m, f, m/f, f/m we r after all the same race, the HUMAN RACE, I think how dull it would be if we were all the same, as growing up I was told "variety is the spice of life" I think without variety would life be worth living?
so I feel again for me anyways, your post was very much worth putting in here and thank you soooo very much.

[kristine]

Lola, I've just read your post and quickly scanned the others.

What can I say? I just broke down and cried when I read it (i'm an emotional "girl".)

As someone whose marriage broke up (partly) because of my girl dressing penchant (and wanting to be a woman after I read Jan Morris), all I can say is that your man has a very good woman on his side. To be fair to my x, that was a long time ago when my life fell apart (when she walked out with our son) and I guess back then there wasn't the volume of info around about all this stuff. Of course, there was info around even back then, but maybe hard to find.

As you would know by now (I guess) a lot of CDs just want to be with a woman, which is what I wanted back then and now. I only tried that once more (telling another girlfriend the truth about me) and that one fell apart, too. Obviously, some people are luckier than others.

Anyway, I'm sure no one wants to hear my life story. The best of luck to both of you!

[pinkspider886]

Dearest sweet Lola, How lucky your partner & you are to have each other in this life. My wife is also understanding of my need to dress up in female clothing. It did take a little while for me to tell her of my odd desires, but she surprised me by saying. Well at least it wont always be me taking ages getting ready when we go out anywere. We have been together over 4 years now, and as long im carful in front of any children that are about she will always support & encourage me. My love & desire for her is top of my prioreties. But dressing up is my `Hobby`. I dress as often as possible with her full knowledge. When someone visits we make sure that it has been arranged before hand. All my closest friends know my pinkspider side exists but i do not wish to share with them, only my wife sees this side of me. Good luck in the future to both of you. G d bless you both and may life always be fun. Love pinkspider886. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx