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Thread: Why do you need a female name?

  1. #1
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    Why do you need a female name?

    I have never really thought to question this before today and it was only brought on because I think I just saw the first CD on here using a male name. Maybe there are others, I just haven’t noticed.

    If you are simply a CD, why do you name your femme persona? I can understand why TSs take a female name to complete the illusion or the transition but why would a heterosexual CD find a need to take on a female name?

    Maybe it’s just me, but I have never found a need to name my male persona. I don’t identify as two separate people. I always use a female name. I don’t find a need to draw attention to myself as anyone but me. I am not “screaming” for acceptance of that side of me…I can move fluidly between both.

    I have had this conversation with a few in PM, now I am wondering what others have to say.

  2. #2
    The One True Diva KandisTX's Avatar
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    The simple answer is "It completes the illusion". The more drawn out one is that we as CDs are emulating women in the best way we can, and in order to do that to the fullest extent, we create a female personna that takes over our psyche when we get dressed and take on that personna.

    ((These are my thoughts and mine alone and are not intended to reflect those of any other CD on this forum, please do not take it as such)).

    Kandis

    P.S. I took on a femme name as I do go out in public and am a heterosexual male and to be quite honest, to be dressed and looking like I do when I go out en femme and being called by my male name, well, that would kind of defeat the purpose of "passing" now wouldn't it?
    Last edited by KandisTX; 12-31-2007 at 03:04 PM. Reason: adding a P.S.
    Someone once told me "Put on Your big girl panties and deal with it". If they only knew, I WAS ALREADY WEARING THEM.

    I wear the bras and panties so my wife doesn't have to.

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  3. #3
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    Fear not KandisTX, I take all posts as individual expression and not representative of the community as a whole.

    Well, men with no hope of "passing" also take on female names.

  4. #4
    The One True Diva KandisTX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wickanne GG View Post
    Fear not KandisTX, I take all posts as individual expression and not representative of the community as a whole.

    Well, men with no hope of "passing" also take on female names.
    True, there are some that do take on femme names who cannot pass, but as I said, it helps US to complete the illusion we are trying to create, right now for instance, there is no possible way I would pass since I have a foo-man-choo type mustache that extends to about 6 inches below my chin and therefore passing is not a possibility. However when I get dressed up I still refer to myself as Kandis as it is an aid to the internal feeling of being feminine that I am attempting to achieve when I am dressed, not so much the external. (Don't judge a book by its cover, after all The Bible is pretty plain on the outside, but what it says inside the covers is quite intense).

    Kandis
    Someone once told me "Put on Your big girl panties and deal with it". If they only knew, I WAS ALREADY WEARING THEM.

    I wear the bras and panties so my wife doesn't have to.

    WARNING:Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies , projects or any other reasons You DO NOT have permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications.

  5. #5
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    Like Kandis says "It completes the illusion". Somehow it just feels right to me. If i ever decided to go out "dressed" [which i don,t] i wouldn,t want to use my male name while dressed and madeup as a woman, it wouldn,t feel right. By the same token if someone called me Debs while i was in drab that would feel wrong too.
    Last edited by Deborah Jane; 12-31-2007 at 03:36 PM. Reason: Came across wrong!!

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by KandisTX View Post
    ...(Don't judge a book by its cover, after all The Bible is pretty plain on the outside, but what it says inside the covers is quite intense).

    Kandis
    Trust me, I've looked "between the covers".

  7. #7
    Live the dream becky t's Avatar
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    i agree with Kandis , from my own personal point of view i am a different person when cd to what i am when in male mode, where i live and my upbringing doesnt allow for cds whatsoever, men have to be men, tough and strong etc etc, Becky isnt restrained to these misguided concepts, she is free to be a warm loving person somewhat softer than my male personality and much more loving, hard to explain but she needs her own name.

    my own thoughts may be totally different to everyone else here but thats how i see it

  8. #8
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
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    Well the choice not only completes the illusion

    It does seem more appropirate

    If you look at my avatar Thomas, Jeff, Gordon or Johnny does not quite fit the picture

    For a lot of others it helps them feel like a girl

    I hope this helps
    Shelly

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  9. #9
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    When I'm all dressed up like a woman I just don't feel like a name of Fred

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shelly_P View Post
    Well the choice not only completes the illusion

    It does seem more appropirate

    If you look at my avatar Thomas, Jeff, Gordon or Johnny does not quite fit the picture

    For a lot of others it helps them feel like a girl

    I hope this helps
    But why doesn't it seem "appropriate"? I don't see anything wrong with a male dressed in female clothing using a male name...but that's just me. What catches females is when they see a female and hear a female name and then hear a male voice.
    Last edited by Wickanne GG; 12-31-2007 at 03:28 PM. Reason: spelling

  11. #11
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Simply put, we don't, at least I don't. In fact I was working towards just being called Rich for a while. Mostly it's because my names all have meaning behind them and they reflect how I have evolved as a person. The current one I use here, Salandra, is really a title and covers me as both Rich and Arianna, which is my new "official" femme name. What's in a name? Depends who you are I guess and what it means to you.
    Last edited by Kate Simmons; 01-01-2008 at 04:21 AM.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  12. #12
    Member charlie-50's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wickanne GG View Post
    I have never really thought to question this before today and it was only brought on because I think I just saw the first CD on here using a male name. Maybe there are others, I just haven’t noticed.

    If you are simply a CD, why do you name your femme persona? I can understand why TSs take a female name to complete the illusion or the transition but why would a heterosexual CD find a need to take on a female name?

    Maybe it’s just me, but I have never found a need to name my male persona. I don’t identify as two separate people. I always use a female name. I don’t find a need to draw attention to myself as anyone but me. I am not “screaming” for acceptance of that side of me…I can move fluidly between both.

    I have had this conversation with a few in PM, now I am wondering what others have to say.
    TO be honest Wickanne i just keped mine as Charlie for shear simplicity value and plus ive heard used both ways (male and female)also when i do come "out " ill be with my girls so i wont be introducing myself to any one out side the group unless its another cder....
    Last edited by charlie-50; 12-31-2007 at 03:37 PM.

  13. #13
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wickanne GG View Post
    But why doesn't it seem "appropriate"? I don't see anything wrong with a male dressed in female clothing using a male name...but that's just me. What catches females is when they see a female and hear a female name and then hear a male voice.
    I never said there was anything wrong with having a male name and being dressed

    Society just does not expect female dress and a male name (be that right or wrong)

    I guess a lot depends on a cd's interaction with people before the voice becomes an issue
    Shelly

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  14. #14
    Silver Member Jilmac's Avatar
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    Wickanne, I can only speak for myself. I love to dress and I would never "pass" because I have a full beard. However I took on a femme name because when I'm dressed I don't want to be "Bill in a dress". When I become Jill I'm in a whole different mindset. There are, as you know, names that can be either male or female, I feminized Bill into Billie many years ago but dropped it because of a personal issue.

    Unlike men in dresses, society has accepted GG's who wear masculine clothes, and there are many male fashions that look very good on women. I think for that reason, GG's don't feel compelled to take on a male name. I don't know if you are in a masculine mindset when you wear mens clothes, but even if you keep your feminine name, I duobt that you see yourself as "Wikcanne in pants". Luv and Jill

  15. #15
    Senior Member charllote34's Avatar
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    Use my fem name because it feels right i mean do i look like a Brad!
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  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shelly_P View Post
    I never said there was anything wrong with having a male name and being dressed

    Society just does not expect female dress and a male name (be that right or wrong)

    I guess a lot depends on a cd's interaction with people before the voice becomes an issue
    Oops, sorry I read that sentence wrong.

    Your choice Shelly or

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member Brianna Lovely's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wickanne GG View Post
    I don’t identify as two separate people. I always use a female name. I don’t find a need to draw attention to myself as anyone but me. I am not “screaming” for acceptance of that side of me…I can move fluidly between both.
    Although I'm a MTF CD, I also consider myself a TG person. Someone who is fully aware of and has fully accepted both their feminine and masuline traits.

    I personaly started using a fem name, because people who knew me as "Bob" in my male persona, started clling me Barbara in my "mixed" persona, and that didn't "feel" right. I feel like Brianna, so that's who I am, every day.

    Personal opinion, most MTF CDers can't "move fluidly between both", and since they've been taught and trained to hide any emotions or feeling, most of their life's, they may feel a need, to name this new "feeling and emotional" persona.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  18. #18
    Lux et Veritas Stormgirl's Avatar
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    Good question, I really don't know why. I sometimes get bothered when people call me Jenny(except on here). I am used to being called by my last name,Sir, or Captain.
    Merry

    HRT since 2009

  19. #19
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    Melinda G goes better with nylons, high heels, and short dresses, than Ralph or Fred!

    You wouldn't put mustard on ice cream, or chocolate on a hot dog, or would you?

  20. #20
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    My "name" is simply my initials. Another forum I signed up to insists that you use a real name so I used Dee Jay to get around the rules as they wouldn't allow DJ. When signing up to this group I figured that the same rules applied so I stuck with Dee Jay as I didn't want the hassle of waiting for rejection e-mails.
    I now know that this group is less fussy with user names

    I don't want to use my real name so I sign my posts as DJ

    If others want to give themselves a name then that's OK. it's not for me. My wife is also pretty insistant that I never give my girly side a name... I'm more than happy to oblige

    DJ
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  21. #21
    Queen of the Faery Realms Bethany_Anne_Fae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KandisTX View Post
    The simple answer is "It completes the illusion".
    This post sums up my thoughts on this exactly!

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brianna Lovely View Post
    ...Personal opinion, most MTF CDers can't "move fluidly between both", and since they've been taught and trained to hide any emotions or feeling, most of their life's, they may feel a need, to name this new "feeling and emotional" persona.
    Good point

    Once one becomes accustomed to the "feeling and emotional" the name simply sticks? Or it really is an indentity "label"?

  23. #23
    Senior Member StacyCD's Avatar
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    While there are certainly some names which are almost either totally masculine or feminine, there are a lot of names that go either way. Carrol (think Carrol Dale the receiver for the 60s Packers), Stacy (think Stacy Keach the actor), Bobbie (short for Roberta or Robert), or Jackie (short for Jack or Jacquiline). In other words, you can't tell gender from some names! When I'm dressed I also want to assist the illusion of presenting as a female by using a feminine name. But wait, I use Stacy for my feminine side and that name belongs to, well a male actor, so I guess I'm confused.

  24. #24
    Formerly Drivininheels Nicolette01's Avatar
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    This is just my 2 cents, from a new member and I still do not fully cross dress. I have been considering taking on a name to indentify my femme side when dressing. It just doesn't seem right to use my male name when I put on high heels and pantyhose.

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by StacyCD View Post
    ...In other words, you can't tell gender from some names! When I'm dressed I also want to assist the illusion of presenting as a female by using a feminine name. But wait, I use Stacy for my feminine side and that name belongs to, well a male actor, so I guess I'm confused.
    I agree. So why is there not more use of Stacey, Carrol, and such names? Many "heterosexual" MTF CD are using traditionally "female" names.

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