like much humor, it is funny because it is true.
like much humor, it is funny because it is true.
- Natalie
P.S. that's what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R where eliminated.
-Mitch Headburg
"If you think you think outside the box, you're trapped in one"
- M.C. Paul Barman
[QUOTE=Sally24;1145813]The only part I disagree with is the unrinal spacing. If you have to go, take an adjacent urinal. It's not prefered but with no alternative but to wait, you go.
I agree. If every other urinal is occupied, guys frequently take the urinal in between. It's not prefered but it happens all the time.
Very informative. Thanks for posting.
- C.J.
Just remember that most GMs are all homophobic and the last thing we want is to have any interaction with any part of our lower body exposed.
If you are in a Men's restroom just remember that unless you are a congressman, you are there to go to the bathroom with as little interaction or invasion of personal space as possible. What always gets me is how many men refuse to use a urinal and will wait for a stall because they get so nervous with their little penises exposed.
No wonder I don't like associating with men lol. Oh it is good to be "other"!
The video represents good, sound basic training, but doesn't touch at all on a crucial guy situation: the stadium bathroom anti-lineup. Say you're at a monster truck event and need to recycle all those beers you've guzzled. You find the nearest can and it has entire walls filled with dozens upon dozens of urinals. Unfortunately, there are also some two hundred men in there on the same mission as you. If you're lucky, this is the intermission and if you wait to come back later, the crowd may have subsided. Well, forget it. That's a beer piss you have in you and it won't wait. Secondly, you're gonna miss some of them thar trucks, another no-no, since you've been waiting months to see this event and God knows when its coming to town again.
So.... Suck it up Princess! And welcome to Advanced Public Restrooms 301.
The first thing you notice is there are no lineups. Women line up for toilets, men never do, because it's nearly as dangerous as talking or making eye contact. Instead, you will find an amorphous crowd facing in the direction of the wall of urinals. Join the crowd at the rear, taking careful note of the three or four fellow pilgrims immediately in front and beside you. These are the people are "In front" of you, to use the lineup analogy. You need to pay some attention to those guys who arrived after you, but since they have registered you as being "In Front" of them, there is little danger of their pushing past you. They know the rules too. Peripheral vision is of vital importance here, since, as at the urinal itself, it is strictly eyes-front. You must be vigilant at all times to ensure you never invade your neighbors' personal buffer zone of 12 to 18 inches. Be especially careful not to do the "Gotta go" dance.
You and you neighbors will eventually reach the front of the crowd. You will probably have noticed that no one has pushed past you from behind, as the urination sequence has already been established and cast in stone. The only exceptions might be boys under 12, who have not yet learned that rules even exist. Don't worry, they will soon enough.
In front of you now is the row of urinals, fully occupied by beer drinkers in various stages of the process, separated from you by a new buffer zone about 3 to 5 feet wide. Your task now is to monitor all your "In front" neighbors as well as those 3 or 4 stalls directly in front of you. You need to anticipate which stall is likely to be the one you will visit, after your in front neighbors have taken their places.
Once your In Front neighbors have found a place to go, it's your turn. Allow space for the next person vacating his stall and its all yours. The nice thing is that you have lots of time: no one will be pressuring you to vacate ASAP, since there are so many other urinals for them to use. Even nicer is that you don't need much time; the pressure has been building since you entered the room. To top it all off, you've made room for a couple more beers.
Hand washing? Don't kid yourself. You didn't touch anything except Mr Johnson, and as Allan Shore put it on Boston Legal"I keep an exceptionally clean penis" Just go get that beer and get back to to your seat; there's more trucks to see.
Very good suzanne, Grasshopper! And what did you learn about the urinal trough instead of standalone urinals? Hint: No hiding wee willy there!
Last edited by Tamara Croft; 02-14-2008 at 04:19 AM. Reason: no need to quote the whole post below, adding their name would have done.
Some observations:
1. When all the urinals are free choose the one NEXT to the end; that way it looks like you might not have given it any thought.
2. You are allowed to talk to a mate but eye contact only when well away from the urinal.
3. If you are in desparate need use whatever urinal is available; even though the presence of others next you to keeps the golden stuff from flowing, stand your ground and look to the ceiling, then down to the urinal, then straight ahead, back to the ceiling and continue like this until everyone else has gone or it just won't stay in any longer.
4. It's always useful to try to keep a check on just how many people might be be in the loo by making a mental note of when, from the corner of your eye, you see someone going in, and similarly when they come back out. Do this for about 10 mins before you plan to go in so that the number of fellow visitors will be at a minimum.
5. Most men do not wash their hands after a whizz; quite a few do not wash their hands after a dump. Remember this if you ever shake hands with a man or he carries your drink immediately after he's been to the loo.
"In America the majority raises formidable barriers around the liberty of opinion; within these barriers an author may write what he pleases, but woe to him if he goes beyond them."
This was one of our favourite skits here!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTg3f...eature=related
Hope it works .... enjoy!
regards
[SIZE="3"]That was the best teaching tool I have seen yet for bathroom rules for males. Unfortunately I used to teach class with this attorney who, when we went to the men's room at the same time, would stand next to some other guy and look over and say "nice ****"! I damn near messed myself getting out of there and he would always come out laughing. He said no one had ever said anything back to him other than "Thanks".
I now sometimes laugh upon rarely entering a men's room remembering him. Glad I don't have to do that much anymore. I have had meaningful conversations in the lady's room than I ever did in a men's.
Tami[/SIZE]
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I am a licensed Cosmetologist (hair stylist, not cosmonaut), work as a hair and wig stylist, makeup artist and permanent makeup artist, dressed as you see in my avatar and albums.
My web site www.apparentlyfemale.com
I have over 2,500 pictures on my Flicker site located at http://www.flickr.com/photos/9315394@N02/
But who needs conversation in there? It's a bathroom, not a cocktail lounge.Originally Posted by tamarav
I'm so glad I don't have to deal with people trying to gab to me now that I don't have to use the ladies room anymore.
But why is the rum gone?! - Capt. Jack Sparrow[SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl[/SIZE]
Why is the rum always gone? - Capt. Jack Sparrow[SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest[/SIZE]
Why is all but the rum gone? No, the rum's gone too . . .- [SIZE="1"]Pirates of the Caribbean: At World End[/SIZE]
[SIZE="3"]Lex on the Beach[/SIZE]. . . [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
That's entirely 2 f'in funny Tami! Thanx for the laugh.
I now return you to your boyzroom thread in progress.
.
[SIZE="3"]my wish for you is peace[/SIZE]
.
lo·gom·a·chy /loʊˈgɒməki/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[loh-gom-uh-kee] –noun, plural -chies.
1. a dispute about or concerning words.
2. an argument or debate marked by the reckless or incorrect use of words; meaningless battle of words
Rule 1 When at urinal look strait ahead
Rule 2 Very little talking while at urinal
Rule 3 No Superman keep your manhood in your hands. you may be well indoud but most others don't care to know.
Rule 4 Leave Space between urinals when possible
rule 4 is void if dividers exist.
Rule 5 If Stuck with the troff stay to one end and make it quick or use stall.
Courtney,
Taylor MI,
Be Who You Want To Be
Don't Worry About Anyone Else.
Another rule: close the stall door.
I walked in on a guy yesterday who left the stall door ajar. I politely excused myself, but he didn't seem bothered anyway.
But why is the rum gone?! - Capt. Jack Sparrow
Why is the rum always gone? - Capt. Jack Sparrow
Why is all but the rum gone? No, the rum's gone too . . .
[SIZE="3"]Lex on the Beach[/SIZE]. . . [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Unless there isn't one. There was a men's room in California without any doors on the stalls but I really had to go so I used it anyway. It kinda freaked me out, but I felt very brave afterwards.Another rule: close the stall door.
Story of my life –>
Oh man I hate it when guys don't close/lock the doors! I've pushed open a few in my time, when there was a guy in there unloading... Talk about awkward! And it's not like it's well-advised to peek under the doors looking for feet.
Yes-- socks! Run out again! Why is it that no matter how many millions of pairs of socks I buy, I never seem to have any? They just... disappear. Honestly, you'd think someone was coming in here, stealing the damn things, and selling them off. . . For me, socks are like sex: tons of it about, and I never seem to get any.
This was good. Pretty much right on. There are 2 exceptions I can think of:
1) Father with a young son -- this can be most embarrassing because it requires "hovering" and talking -- as in, "hurry up, son, we don't have all night!" The violation against talking is less of a violation than "hovering," which makes people think you are either gay or a pedophile (when there are young boys in there). So you must talk loudly and make sure everyone knows you are in there with your young son.
2) Drug tests -- had zillions when playing football in college and then in the military. VERY disconcerting to have the tester watching you like a hawk when you pee. Required a lot of pre-test water drinking!
So funny guys!And virtually all true! My days of bothering about such things will soon be gone ... I hope!
But regarding the "rules" - the only one I disagree with is the not standing next to someone else. Sometimes it is totally unavoidable however the main rules in that unavoidable instance are
[SIZE="4"]1. Stare straight ahead or upwards
2. under no circumstances look left or right, and
3. definitelyDO NOT LOOK DOWN[/SIZE]
And I damn near messed myself reading this!
Oh, by the way? The rules are 100% spot on, and I swear I'm not joking. This really IS the way most guys think and behave in the bathroom.
Last edited by TxKimberly; 04-06-2008 at 09:41 AM.
I know I'm a weird Sociopath but sometimes if I finish first I will turn to the guy next to me and say something like " Damn drove the last two miles with my leg crossed" . It really freaks most guys out and some of them can't get IT back in their pants fast enough. I know if I were a cartoon character I would be Buggs Bunny.
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