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Thread: Middle-aged newbies?

  1. #1
    Celtic Woman in training SiobhanW's Avatar
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    Middle-aged newbies?

    I find the people who come to CD'ing as adults fascinating, especially the ones well into middle-age.

    Since I came to this very young, as it would seem the majority here, I'd really like to understand how people suddenly find themselves with the desire/need to do this. Feel free to explain how it happened to you, should you fit this category.
    It takes a real woman to handle this man, in a dress!
    "I really love that dress on you. I can only think of one place where it might look better."
    "Let me guess....on your bedroom floor?"
    "No, ON ME!"

  2. #2
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    U r talking about me, I guess

    It never occurred to me to try on ladies things until after I was 50. However, I think I started the same way most do. Just for the heck of it, tried on some ladies things and liked how they felt and looked. Then, I went for it. Just kept trying on more things and trying to look more feminine. Culminating with Sherry, about 2 years ago.
    Rs
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  3. #3
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    I played around with dressing in my early 20's while dating my wife. I used to try on different lingerie when she was out, then the desire went away. About 5 years ago, i bought her a leather skirt and boots for Christmas. I just had to have some. Now I have shoes, boots, skirts, tops and some underwear. I think it is just my version of a mid-life crisis.

  4. #4
    life is a journey Mitch23's Avatar
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    been a closet undie fetishist all my life from about 7/8 when i first tried on my mums things. remained my little dirty secret till about a year ago when i met a semi pro domme who loved to femme her men - including her hubby. she put me in a dress one day, lent me things, got me involved in makeup etc. released the genie out of the bottle and from then on i became a girl about town and never looked back at the age of 50+

    Now out to my wife and spend a lot of time dressed in the community. it was in me but dormant and i discovered how much i liked it

    mitch

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member Brianna Lovely's Avatar
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    Hmmm, long story made short.
    Over the last thirty years or so, I've always had some satin nighties and a few "house" dresses in the closet. I would wear them every now and then, not really knowing why. Sometimes the feeling was sexy and sometimes it was just "right". I really didn't wear my fem things more than two or three times a year.

    About ten years ago, I was watching a movie, as I looked at the actress, a thought came to my mind, "I want to be that woman". Then, after a few seconds had passed, a stronger thought came to mind, "No, I am that woman". Now I was totally confused.

    After about five years of inner searching and contemplation, some things became clearer. The man I had been, most of my life, was an act. I really did not feel the things that went on in my life, I just pretended. I acted like society expected me to be, never knowing who I really was.

    At one point, I had sexual confusion. I felt, that because I was attracted to men, I must be Gay, but today I feel that the attraction is only natural, because I'm more gender female than male.

    So, anyway, a couple of years ago, I became fully aware of my feminine traits and accepted .that I'm both feminine and masculine, in one body.

    Today, I'm an old lady, but I'm doing my best to catch up, and just enjoy being myself.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #6
    Senior Member Ruth's Avatar
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    I've had the desire since adolescence, but never got the proper opportunity until quite recently. That's how it sort of seems to me but perhaps the desire just got stronger...
    [SIZE="2"]Always be true to yourself because the people who matter don’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter.[/SIZE]

  7. #7
    Member kimberly ann487's Avatar
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    I may have bloomed late in life but "it" was always there !
    KIM
    May everyone you love-love you
    Kimberly Ann
    www.flickr.com/photos/kimmie487

  8. #8
    Silver Member gennee's Avatar
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    Smile Late in Coming

    [SIZE="2"]For me the feeling of being different became more pronounced a few years prior to finding out that I was transgender. As a child I never had the urge to wear womens articles nor did I.

    It was when I was over thirty that the feeling of being different was inside. The thought was always fleeting so I never investigated it. I felt that there was some purpose in my life different and unique from the usual. I have always like odd and unusual things and people. When I got the urge to try on my spouse's skirt, I was taken back. After some hesitation, I did it.

    Instead of the urge going away, it grew stronger. It was dresses, skirts, panties and blouses. I was hooked. After some counseling, I realized that I was a crossdresser. After several weeks of struggle, I accepted the fact that I like to wear womens' clothing. All the tension and struggle disappeared and I haven't looked back.

    Gennee[/SIZE]
    I'm getting better with age. I may have started late, but better late than never!

    "Don't let anyone define who you are".

  9. #9
    Member LisaRaye's Avatar
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    for me it was when i was eight went to wash clothes with my moms and while folding the cothes i picked up a pair of her pantyhose and got excited did understand way. so i started putting on her pantyhose every now and then till i was about 12 and stopped doing it for a while. a couple a year go by and the thought hit me again so i started doing it again, this time pantyhose and panties did that for awhile. now at the age of 35 i am a full blow girl at home you name it i got it and i love being a woman. but i work as a guy though.

  10. #10
    Member Elizabeth Ann's Avatar
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    It was all about sexual stimulation. I can remember only one odd episode in my youth in which women's lingerie played a part as an aid to masturbation. I still consider my crossdressing to be fetish related.

    As an adult a number of factor culminated in this development. Some physical problems for my wife caused our sex life to cool considerably, such that the great majority of my sex life was taking place alone in the shower. Sexual fantasies began to play a more prominent role. Among my favorites were submission fantasies, often involving humiliating feminization.

    Back when I believed that the world could be a better place, I used to work a lot in developing countries. This often involved trips alone of about 3 weeks. I think probably during one of my lost luggage trips, I bought my first panties. I would buy a package, wear them during the trip, and then toss them.

    Eventually, when I wasn't traveling so much, I asked my wife to participate in some D/S fantasies, sometimes involving my wearing panties. She agreed, but was unenthusiastic, except for the maid's work.

    A few years ago, I started acquiring more women's clothing, and enjoy dressing up when alone. I don't really know why. I enjoy looking at it in the mirror, but an episode culminates in masturbation only about 20% of the time now. Often, I just dress and go about my business (consulting), changing back to male before everyone comes home. I don't particularly feel like a woman.

    My wife is aware of this, but not involved. As a not very religious liberal, she has no intellectual objection, but I think she perhaps feels threatened by it.

    I myself don't have a clue why I do it. As I have endeavored to live a life of reason and logic, this is very disconcerting.

    Elizabeth

  11. #11
    Member Elizabeth Ann's Avatar
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    This is it????

    There are only a handfull of adult-onset crossdressers on this site? All of you are making me feel very odd again!

    Seriously, life is all about growth and change, often profound change, in your politics, profession, spousal relationships, even sexual preference. Is it really true that practically everyone on this site knew they wanted to cross dress from the day they got in their sister's laundry?

    Aren't there some of you that can at least tell me, "I fooled around a few times going through puberty, but didn't really take it seriously until my midlife crisis."

    Come on, guys and gals, I'm feeling pretty lonely.

    Elizabeth

  12. #12
    Senior Member Jennaie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elizabeth Ann View Post
    This is it????

    There are only a handfull of adult-onset crossdressers on this site? All of you are making me feel very odd again!

    Seriously, life is all about growth and change, often profound change, in your politics, profession, spousal relationships, even sexual preference. Is it really true that practically everyone on this site knew they wanted to cross dress from the day they got in their sister's laundry?

    Aren't there some of you that can at least tell me, "I fooled around a few times going through puberty, but didn't really take it seriously until my midlife crisis."

    Come on, guys and gals, I'm feeling pretty lonely.

    Elizabeth
    Good point that you bring up about mid-life. I think this may very well be what brings some into dressing at middle age. I think that perhaps a combination of a drop in testosterone and perhaps hormone imbalance can attribute to this.

    As for me, I have to admit that although I have always found women sexually attractive, I always fancied the girls and wanted to be accepted in their circle more so than the guys.
    [SIZE="3"]Jennaie`[/SIZE]

  13. #13
    Gold Member
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    All ways had a thing for female clothing but it's the computer age that opened the world of CDing to me.

  14. #14
    The Truth Is Out There DanaJ's Avatar
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    I always had an interest, but I just thought I was the weirdest thing in the world, so I surpressed it. I always tried to trick or lose bets to girlfriends to get dressed up, it very rarely worked.

    When I reached my mid-40s, I decided I wasn't getting any younger, and I wasn't going to waste my life with what might-have-been. So, I shaved off the lip fuzz, and started practicing - and like Tina said above, the Web helped a lot to let me know I wasn't alone. And this forum has been the biggest factor over 3 years ago when I joined.
    DanaJ

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  15. #15
    Member Melissa Cross's Avatar
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    I am one of those newbie CDs who starting dressing in my mid 40s. Looking back now, I realize I have always had the desire to dress but only in the last few years have I started dressing regularly. My desire to dress really started 5 or 6 years ago when my wife painted my toenails...and I loved it. I can remember trying on pantyhose when I was a teenager and I can remember dressing as a girl for Halloween many years ago. Until the last few years, it never went any further than that.

    I cannot state why I didn't start dressing at an earlier age but I do regret now that I didn't.

    Melissa

  16. #16
    Member soccervixen's Avatar
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    It never occurred to me before I tried it with some clothes of my wife's and some of her panties one weekend when she was gone, at age 47 (she is my height). I enjoyed the sensation, did it some more over the next few months when no one was home (teenage sons), found this site, began to understand the range of people who are TS/TV/CD (me - definitely just CD), then began to buy my own clothes, shoes, undergarments, realizing these feelings weren't just for a month, but were now part of me.

    Initially my wife seemed fine - she even bought me a special box in my closet for my panties, and shopped with me for some. Now she's pretty cool to it, knowing that I do it when she is not home (that is probably why she always calls to let me know she's on her way, so I can change). But she doesn't encourage or want to see me dressed.

    Now it is not an obession with me, but something I enjoy - love the sensations and looks of the fabrics & clothes - especially a good skirt with hose and heels. I am one of those who has begun questioning a lot of social mores on clothing and shoes - why can't men wear a nice gold lame top with low rise pants and some silver 4" heels? Why is that only female? I can't change society, so I enjoy what I can. Women get all the good clothes!

    The sexual stimulation has been minimal for me, almost non-existent - not an issue at all.

  17. #17
    Paranoia rules Christina Louise's Avatar
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    Only occasionally toyed with xdressing over the years but it must have been in the back of my mind most of the time because the first time I told anyone (unfortunately when drunk) I hadn't been active for 15 years.

    In 2005, aged 49, when I was losing weight , getting closer to average, I just thought 'why not give it a try?' and got the nerve to go into high street shops to buy clothes and makeup, and with a cheap wig I dressed fully for the first time - I felt wonderful. But guilt and an increasing waistline eventually got to me and I had a purge.

    Now aged 52 and dietting again (16 lbs after 2 weeks, only 50 to go), the urge to start dressing is stronger than ever, and so with the experience of last time combined with the support from a great site like this (I didn't have internet back then) I have decided that I will dress when my weight has dropped a bit more, and I'll also consider contacting other girls in the area instead of keeping it all to myself. (Incidentally, today I've taken my first 2 baby steps on the road back to being totally Christina)

  18. #18
    Junior Member janie2261's Avatar
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    I wish I had started earlier, much earlier. I guess I was preoccupied with starting a career and a family. If I had it to do over again, I would be a teen-age CD'er and enjoy the heck out of it.

    I guess I have always had the urge, but I supressed it as something that was just too weird and unacceptable.

    Now I know how healthy and fun it is. Don't we all wish we could take what we know now and go back and relive our younger years?
    Janie
    Florida Gulf Coast

  19. #19
    Silver Member Raquel June's Avatar
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    I guess I don't really go around asking CDs when or why they got into it, so I don't know a lot of their histories, but it does seem to come up now and then when you're hanging around a bar in a skirt.

    There are a lot of CDs out there who are older. In a club, I always see that the average CD is much older than the average person in the club.

    I still get the feeling that it's something that's always been there for them, though. I think what happens is that people are growing and don't understand their feelings. When you don't understand yourself or your life, you tend to do what you think you're supposed to do, or what everybody says is what will make you happy. So, like anyone else, CDs tend to get into a relationship with a woman and/or do other normal things. Eventually they understand how much they want to be feminine, and then they start obsessing over it, and then they decide they have to find a way to express it.

    While it's something that's always been there, it doesn't tend to get expressed until later in life.

    When I was little (about 5 to 11), I prayed to become a girl when I felt like my life was terrible (I guess I thought that would change things). I put on my mom's clothes when nobody was around, but that wasn't very often. When I was older, when my girlfriend left clothes at my place I would often try them on when I was alone. I'm 32 now. I was with the same woman from the time I was 19 to 31. I didn't so much feel like I was a woman trapped in a man's body, and I didn't want to hurt the relationship. But now I've got my own place and no serious relationship going on.

    So I've gone out and bought a lot of clothes and makeup. I guess that makes me an older newbie, but I'm the same person I was when I was 5. Actually, there are some really cute pictures of my brother dressing me up in my mom's wig and putting makeup on me when I was about 3-4...

    I've talked to a lot of CDs who would tell you that they've always felt the same, they just didn't realize it until they got divorced. I know a lot of divorced (or married and in a bad relationship) CDs, and they seem pretty normal to me. On the other hand, the CDs I know who have a good relationship with their wives (and the wives know about the dressing and are cool with it) have generally been swingers and/or married to women who were sexually abused.

  20. #20
    Member Donna Marie's Avatar
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    I've told my story before, but here goes again... I liked trying on my aunt's shoes when I was 5 or 6, but never considered dressing up beyond that until I was 63. I had just separated from the missus and was in a Sam's Club where I saw a gg in 4" black stiletto heels strutting effortlessly along. Later at home, I did some"research" on high heels on the web. One of the sites sold high heels in large sizes and had a chart showing the relationship between men's and women's sizes. I immediately sent for a pair of their most outrageous 4 3/4" sandals. Then I figured I needed to shave my legs to make it feel right. Pretty soon I discovered all the CD websites and I was hooked. Got a wig, makeup, clothes, and all within a few months. The first time I saw myself in the mirror with the wig and makeup it was like I had found my other self that I never knew was there. Oh, the sandals? They about crippled me - I still can't wear anything much higher than 3". I've been to one Tri-ESS meeting, one local Asheville gender group meeting, met another CD in a distant town for a mall stroll and dinner, and ventured outside at home a few times before it all got built up and inhabited in my development. Since then I slunk back into my lair and have not had the courage to get out in recent years (sigh).

  21. #21
    Silver Member Raquel June's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Donna Marie View Post
    I immediately sent for a pair of their most outrageous 4 3/4" sandals.
    Oh, that must've been awhile ago that you came out. You know, these days you have to be close to 6" to qualify as outrageous.

  22. #22
    Woman at heart Veronica 1's Avatar
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    I wold slip into a pair of panties once in a while while growing up for the sexual thrill but never any farther. In May of 07 I picked up a maniquin to use as a photo model for a wedding that I was to shoot in July. It came with a wig but no clothes so I went to the thrift store and bought a full slip to dress it in. Soon, the compulsion came across that I had to try the slip and wig on, with panties of course. It felt so great! Soon after this, I found a bra and stuffed it with cotton balls. Then I found this site and the truth came crashing down on me as I realized that I was a crossdresser and I was not alone. Now I have my silicone forms, a drawer full of panties, bras, and hose. There is a closet full of dresses and skirts and I am loving every minute of it. I am 51.
    Sister will you…
    Make believe…
    Play dress up…
    Let me be the Princess…
    Tell me stories in the dark…
    Always be my friend?

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member
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    we are from the moment of conception, now a days,to be a boy or a girl. from our moment of awakening so to speak,were taught to be one or the other.no matter our feelings. my feeling is id rather be allowed to wear what i want when i want and where i want . what is the harm, so long as ""your not offended"". as they would say, balderdash.

  24. #24
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    As usual, Truth is stranger than Fiction...

    About a month ago, I had my 59th birthday. So, yes, this is a late-in-life deal.

    I remember being fascinated by old high heels that my mother had stored in the attic. These were ones that were left over from the 40's and were heavy enough to be used as weapons. When I was 10 or 11, my shoe size was nearly as large as her's, so it wasn't much of a stretch.

    Not much after, I discovered a stash of old bras and panties. I was hooked at that point as there was nothing comparable in texture that I could wear; legitimately anyway. However, by the time I got to high school these urges were pretty much gone. In retrospect, I think my desires did not just fade away; they were suppressed.

    So, as a dutiful and respectful son, I finished college and got married a year after graduation. Two kids and 30 years later, we separated. For some time I thought that I was gay, but I eventually figured out that I was really bisexual. But, this is not really what my ex-wife signed up for. Over time the relationship soured enough that we lived on different floors in the house. While my ex-wife was trying to sort out what to do and where to go, I got involved with the woman that eventually became my second wife. But, don't misunderstand; the first marriage had many other problems beyond my being bi. We just reached a point where neither of us was really interested in helping, caring for or supporting the other. So, my final act was moving her to Tennessee (loading furniture, driving the truck, etc.).

    When my 2nd wife and I were dating, I surprised her and bought a pair of bodystockings. She tends to be very tactile and just loved the texture of the material. Needless to say, the sex was amazing!. A few weeks later, I bought a bra and things sort of took off from there. I'd visit on weekends and I would underdress when we went out in the small town where she lived.

    All together, my 2nd wife has been very supportive. The only time, so far, that I have gone out completely dressed was at her insistence. On Halloween a few years ago, a movie about drag kings was shown on the Cornell campus. Admission was free if you crossdressed. No 2 ways about it; my wife said that we have to go! At this point, I have to ask a question: How many wives would go to such a function dressed as a ballerina with a strap-on under her tutu? Lavender, at that!!!

    So, in current time, it continues to be serious fun. I mean, how many guys get felt up by their wives and then be told that "...they're just too perky. You need Old Lady boobs."?

    Who Knew?
    Last edited by flatlander_48; 01-14-2008 at 09:43 PM.

  25. #25
    Member Carla4Guage's Avatar
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    I am one of the few who will admit I never had a cross dressing event in my youth. I had no sisters, only two younger brothers. I would see my mother’s clothes when they were in the laundry or drying on the clothes line, but never thought to try them on.
    A year and ½ ago I purchased some sexy things for my wife, but she would rarely wear them. She thought she looked to fat to wear them. I tried to tell her it wasn’t how she thought she looked in it; it was how I thought she looked in them, but to no avail.
    One day I decided if she wouldn’t wear them I might try them on, don’t ask me the logic of it, I can’t to this day explain it, to her, to a therapist we talked with or even to myself. Bottom line a bomb went off in my feelings and I have progressed to a crossdresser with many outfits and one who has now even made some shopping trips in fem. Where is this going? I don’t know but I love the ride.
    [SIZE="3"][/SIZE]Hugs,

    Carla

    http://flickr.com/photos/carla4guage/

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