Banned from Fashion Bug

[goofus]

Oh. My. God. I just had one of the most horrible experiences of my life (so far!!) . Boy, it just doesn't pay to be afraid to buy stuff.
Anyway, so I went to Fashion Bug tonight. I knew exactly what I wanted to buy, but then I got nervous because there were too many people in the store, too many people at the cash register, etc. So I stayed there and browsed for about 20 minutes or so and ended up leaving without buying anything (can anyone guess where this story is headed?). I drove around for a bit and parked in a nearby parking lot, thinking that I might return to Fashion Bug (little did I know I'd be banned!!!) . Anyway, while I was sitting there a cop drove by and shined his light in my front window...uh oh... then he pulled up behind me. Evidently the folks at the Bug thought I was behaving suspiciously and called the police. I was made to get out of the car, had to lean spread eagle on same as I was padded down for weapons, and then was questioned extensively while they ran my ID. I told 'em the truth - that I was there to buy a dress, that I was a crossdresser, that I was too afraid to buy dress, and that I returned to the area 'cause I was thinking about going back to the Bug (big mistake!!) . After searching my vehicle for weapons I was told I was not allowed to return to Fashion Bug. Evidently they'd seen me in there before when I was too afraid to buy things and they thought I was casing the place or what have you. Holy crap. I should have just bought wanted to buy. Now I'm banned for life. What should I do? Nothing? Should I contact the store manager? Should I write the corporate HQ? Is this going down on my permanent record? Should I contact my attorney? Any and all advice would be welcomed....

[trannie T]

You might call the store manager and explain what happened. The people in the store were acting in a reasonable manner, they saw a suspicious subject and acted accordingly. As far as I know Fashion Bug is friendly to crossddressers. A man in a women's store buying women's clothing is far less suspicious than a man in a women's store not buying anything.

[goofus]

A man in a women's store buying women's clothing is far less suspicious than a man in a women's store not buying anything.

Yeah, tell me about it. Boy, I learned that the hard way!!!!

[Michelle Reilly]

I don;t think there's any real danger of it being on your record, if they didn't arrest you.

Hope it all works out OK.

[SweetCaroline]

You did nothing wrong. Your money is as good as anybodies. If they don't want your money, fine. Move on. Find someplace else to shop. As far as I know, it's not illegal to shop trans gendered.

If I were you, I'd go straight to the head of the Fashion Bug. They probably wont do anything. But at least mention it to them. Make them aware of who we are, and that we aren't going to be discouraged.

Good luck love!

[goofus]

You did nothing wrong. Your money is as good as anybodies. If they don't want your money, fine. Move on. Find someplace else to shop. As far as I know, it's not illegal to shop trans gendered.

If I were you, I'd go straight to the head of the Fashion Bug. They probably wont do anything. But at least mention it to them. Make them aware of who we are, and that we aren't going to be discouraged.

Good luck love!

I am typing an email to them right now. But, you're probably correct, they won't do anything, no one will be reprimanded, etc. After all, what do they care if they lose a few crossdressing customers? Women must vastly outnumber crossdressers as far as their customer base goes...

[Shelly Preston]

write to the store manager first expalining everything and apologising for causing them so much concern but you would like to return

Tell them this is because of the quality of the products

Hopefully they will let you return

They might suggest you ask for a particular assistant to put you at ease when you return I am sure they wont want to lose a customer

If that dont work then head office

[paulaN]

The best thing I can come up with is, the next time go dressed. Or take your money elsewhere. I am sorry to here about your experience.

[goofus]

The best thing I can come up with is, the next time go dressed.

Oh god, forget that. I was told to never set foot in there again, that I'd be considered a trespasser & subject to arrest, etc...Imagine if I came in crossdressed...they'd really flip their wigs!! (pardon the expression )

[goofus]

write to the store manager first expalining everything and apologising for causing them so much concern but you would like to return

Tell them this is because of the quality of the products

Hopefully they will let you return

They might suggest you ask for a particular assistant to put you at ease when you return I am sure they wont want to lose a customer

If that dont work then head office

I just don't know what to do. The cops explained that they'd had a lot of robberies in the area so that's why the staff was suspicious. I can understand that...my behavior no doubt was suspicious, from their perspective, although you'd think they might have had *some* experience with crossdressers shopping for themselves...or attempting to shop for themselves...

[Michellebej]

Goofus, Goofus; what are we gonna do with you?

Ok, first this is NOT a legal opionion. I am not a lawyer and I do not know the laws in your state.

However; I have a lot of experiance with Corporate Law Enforcement, so what I have to say is probably true.

First don't go back to that store. You have been officially warned, and unless you have something in writting from thier HQ then going there again would be tresspassing.

Second, you don't have a record. You have not been arrested. You have not gone to Court, and ; you have not been convicted.

Third; what you MIGHT have is a contact record. Meaning that for awhile your name will be on a list of people of interest for awhile.

This varies from place to place. Generally if you don't have any priors, the investigating officer isnt' going to do much paperwork on you. To much trouble. Especially if the officer believed you. ( and traffick tickets are not priors, unless you have something like vehicular manslaughter.)

In any event even that would go away in short order. Usually 90 days. Sometimes more sometimes less.

Writing an email might help. You might be surprised. I shop at a fashion bug out here and have gotten friendly with the manager. She told me that about 15 to 20 percent of her biz comes from CDs. Seems us girls are more likely to buy dresses and such than GGs.

Love

Michelle

[goofus]

Goofus, Goofus; what are we gonna do with you?

Ok, first this is NOT a legal opionion. I am not a lawyer and I do not know the laws in your state.

However; I have a lot of experiance with Corporate Law Enforcement, so what I have to say is probably true.

First don't go back to that store. You have been officially warned, and unless you have something in writting from thier HQ then going there again would be tresspassing.

Second, you don't have a record. You have not been arrested. You have not gone to Court, and ; you have not been convicted.

Third; what you MIGHT have is a contact record. Meaning that for awhile your name will be on a list of people of interest for awhile.

This varies from place to place. Generally if you don't have any priors, the investigating officer isnt' going to do much paperwork on you. To much trouble. Especially if the officer believed you. ( and traffick tickets are not priors, unless you have something like vehicular manslaughter.)

In any event even that would go away in short order. Usually 90 days. Sometimes more sometimes less.

Writing an email might help. You might be surprised. I shop at a fashion bug out here and have gotten friendly with the manager. She told me that about 15 to 20 percent of her biz comes from CDs. Seems us girls are more likely to buy dresses and such than GGs.

Love

Michelle

Michelle:
Thanks for the info! I have already written a somewhat angry email to the corporate HQ. 15 to 20 percent? I don't think it's that high at this particular store, otherwise might it have entered their minds that I might be a nervous crossdresser rather than a potential thief? This is really disappointing because this particular Fashion Bug has formal dresses and such that their other stores in the area don't carry, at least not in my size

Incidentally, there was more than one officer - there were about 5. I'm just glad they didn't give me the Rodney King treatment...they were actually pretty cool, to their credit...

[MJ]

so your fear of just buying something got you banned ? .. if you just relaxed and took what you wanted to the checkout and acted like it was for your so/gf you would have been fine. in the end you had to tell the police the truth anyway.. i am sorry you had a bad day. it could be worse ..you could be in jail

[goofus]

so your fear of just buying something got you banned ? .. if you just relaxed and took what you wanted to the checkout and acted like it was for your so/gf you would have been fine. in the end you had to tell the police the truth anyway.. i am sorry you had a bad day. it could be worse ..you could be in jail

Thanks, MJ...I know it could be *so* much worse. In this case, it was hard for me to pretend it was for my so/gf, since what I wanted to buy was a semi-formal dress. What guy buys formals for their girlfriends???

[Billijo49504]

One thing you should reallize, there were probably only 2 or 3 young girls working the store. If they've been robbed before, they probably were scared. I would call the manager and explain and let them know you are sorry for causing trouble. and if you are not invited back, shop at another Fashion Bug. My wife works retail and they have asked ppl not to return to their store, cuz they were kreepy. JMHO...BJ

[goofus]

Goofus, Goofus; what are we gonna do with you?

Ok, first this is NOT a legal opionion. I am not a lawyer and I do not know the laws in your state.

However; I have a lot of experiance with Corporate Law Enforcement, so what I have to say is probably true.

First don't go back to that store. You have been officially warned, and unless you have something in writting from thier HQ then going there again would be tresspassing.

Second, you don't have a record. You have not been arrested. You have not gone to Court, and ; you have not been convicted.

Third; what you MIGHT have is a contact record. Meaning that for awhile your name will be on a list of people of interest for awhile.

This varies from place to place. Generally if you don't have any priors, the investigating officer isnt' going to do much paperwork on you. To much trouble. Especially if the officer believed you. ( and traffick tickets are not priors, unless you have something like vehicular manslaughter.)

In any event even that would go away in short order. Usually 90 days. Sometimes more sometimes less.

Writing an email might help. You might be surprised. I shop at a fashion bug out here and have gotten friendly with the manager. She told me that about 15 to 20 percent of her biz comes from CDs. Seems us girls are more likely to buy dresses and such than GGs.

Love

Michelle

So do I just give up on ever setting foot in this store again, or do I speak to the store manager and try to get back in their good graces?

[goofus]

if you are not invited back, shop at another Fashion Bug.

Ah, but therein lies the problem. I would gladly shop at another Fashion Bug, but this particular one has stuff in my size that the others around here don't.

[goofus]

Let it be G - use online shopping - at Sears you can arrange to pick up your order at any Sears you want, have it sent to any address you want or have it sent to your home.
It come sin generic grey plastic but does have a computerized saled tag that lists the items - albeit fine print.

With all your online shopping options - no need for this to happen ever again.

Chalk it up to bad luck and a bad experience on a bad day.

( My pet peeve is the pink Panther long line... you find all your dainties , there is no one at the till or even in sight - but somehow by the time you get to the till there are 7 middle aged women all with panties and all looking at your arms full of lace garments... all wondering : what is he doing here?... 15 minutes later as the lead lady does here returns you have not moved and more women move in behind you)

Well, frankly, I'm not going to let this experience make me afraid to shop in stores. If anything, I'm going to be more afraid of seeming suspicious than I am of just going up and buying what I want...

[Michellebej]

Hoosier Sister, ( hey I like that!)

If you can contact them by email then go for it. But; make sure that if they do give you permission you carry a copy of it in your purse when you go in. That way if you get a clerk that did not get the memo (litterlly) then you will be safe.

Love

Michelle

[goofus]

Hoosier Sister, ( hey I like that!)

If you can contact them by email then go for it. But; make sure that if they do give you permission you carry a copy of it in your purse when you go in. That way if you get a clerk that did not get the memo (litterlly) then you will be safe.

Love

Michelle

Hell, I'll talk to the manager on the phone, I don't care...I just wonder if it's worth the effort...

[Stephenie S]

Goofus, you have been given pretty good advice already. I would add just a couple of things.

1.) Geez! You idiot! Don't you listen to anyone??? Shopping is NOTHING to be ashamed of. Fashion Bug is EXTREMELY CD friendly!! You should just go in, pick out what you want, pay for it, and leave. Skulking about!! My goodness, dear. No wonder you got in trouble. I hope you learned a good lesson. I hope everyone who reads about this learns a good lesson. JUST SHOP!!! Don't be afraid.

OK hon. That was all said with a big smile and a warm friendly hug, sweetie. Please don't be offended. I was there once myself.

2.) This is the serious part. Do you want to go back to this same store? You probably can, but you will have to write (not email) or TALK on the phone, with the store manager. APOLOGIZE for your silly behavior, explain who you are (identify yourself), tell them what you want, and why you acted that way. Ask if you can please return at a time when the manager is present. Tell the manager you want to spend money, and open a charge acount.

If you really want to shop there, I am sure they will let you back.

I agree that writing corporate headquarters will probably not result in any action. Dealing DIRECTLY with the store manager on a personal basis will work if you sincerely want to shop there.

Otherwise (and this would be my advice), move on. There are PLENTY of retail women's clothing stores and other Fashion Bugs. Try Dress Barn too. They are also CD friendly.

Now hon, How DO you shop for women's clothes? OK, here's how. When the SA comes up to you and says, "May I help you?" You smile (a nice friendly smile) and say, "Yes". Got it? you say, "Yes, you can help me".

Then you tell the SA what you are shopping for. Don't forget to smile. That's it, hon. That's all you do. Simple. The SA is a pro. That's what they do for a living. They see lots of CDers in Fashion Bug and Dress Barn. It's easy to assume that you are the only one when you are just starting out, but you aren't. There's thousands of us everywhere. Where do you think we get our clothes? We buy them. Yup! We buy them. Remember, the SA are professionals. They do this for a living. They see people all day long who want to buy stuff. You are just one more person who wants to buy stuff. They sell stuff. Go with the flow. Relax. It's actually quite fun.

Alright dear. There you have it. Now go out and shop. And don't forget to smile.

Lovies,
Stephenie

I shopped our local Fashion Bug in drab many times. I actually opened my charge acount there before I started shopping "dressed".

[Samantha B L]

Hi Goofus, I don't think you did anything wrong. People have a right to meander in and out of businesses without buying anything as long as they're not shoplifting or up to anything off the wall or dangerous. I mean,it can take several excursions of up to a half hour at a time for the average person,crossdresser or otherwise,to get the general layout and distribution and departmentalizing of what a shopping center or shopping mall business is selling. And their prices and whether or not the place is nearing lunch hour or closing and if it's too crowded at this or that time of day to bother with making a purchase. I've had a couple of experiences like this and I just pointed out to those people that I won't know what to buy or even if I can afford the items if I can't have a long minute or 2 to look through stuff! Most businesses nowadays are CD freindly and if they are not really out and out freindly,for instance if they are sort of like sarcastic and reserved,they are at least accepting,shall we say. As Kellyanne has suggested,online shopping is a very good thing if you have a way to arrange it all and pull it off. You could try contacting corporate HQ for Fashion Bug. I thought they were CD freindly.

[goofus]

Goofus, you have been given pretty good advice already. I would add just a couple of things.

1.) Geez! You idiot! Don't you listen to anyone??? Shopping is NOTHING to be ashamed of. Fashion Bug is EXTREMELY CD friendly!! You should just go in, pick out what you want, pay for it, and leave. Skulking about!! My goodness, dear. No wonder you got in trouble. I hope you learned a good lesson. I hope everyone who reads about this learns a good lesson. JUST SHOP!!! Don't be afraid.

OK hon. That was all said with a big smile and a warm friendly hug, sweetie. Please don't be offended. I was there once myself.

2.) This is the serious part. Do you want to go back to this same store? You probably can, but you will have to write (not email) or TALK on the phone, with the store manager. APOLOGIZE for your silly behavior, explain who you are (identify yourself), tell them what you want, and why you acted that way. Ask if you can please return at a time when the manager is present. Tell the manager you want to spend money, and open a charge acount.

If you really want to shop there, I am sure they will let you back.

I agree that writing corporate headquarters will probably not result in any action. Dealing DIRECTLY with the store manager on a personal basis will work if you sincerely want to shop there.

Otherwise (and this would be my advice), move on. There are PLENTY of retail women's clothing stores and other Fashion Bugs. Try Dress Barn too. They are also CD friendly.

Now hon, How DO you shop for women's clothes? OK, here's how. When the SA comes up to you and says, "May I help you?" You smile (a nice friendly smile) and say, "Yes". Got it? you say, "Yes, you can help me".

Then you tell the SA what you are shopping for. Don't forget to smile. That's it, hon. That's all you do. Simple. The SA is a pro. That's what they do for a living. They see lots of CDers in Fashion Bug and Dress Barn. It's easy to assume that you are the only one when you are just starting out, but you aren't. There's thousands of us everywhere. Where do you think we get our clothes? We buy them. Yup! We buy them. Remember, the SA are professionals. They do this for a living. They see people all day long who want to buy stuff. You are just one more person who wants to buy stuff. They sell stuff. Go with the flow. Relax. It's actually quite fun.

Alright dear. There you have it. Now go out and shop. And don't forget to smile.

Lovies,
Stephenie

I shopped our local Fashion Bug in drab many times. I actually opened my charge acount there before I started shopping "dressed".

Stephenie, I don't know where you live, but I live in a somewhat backward, conservative area. I'm really not sure that CD's are flooding this store, otherwise would they have been so suspicious of me? Also, I probably would have gone in and bought what I wanted and not skulked about IF THERE HAD BEEN FEWER PEOPLE IN THE STORE. As it was, the place was hopping, and that made me a little nervous and afraid that I'd be made fun of, ridiculed, etc. There were ... a lot of ... African American women in the store...and...I know this is racist on my part, but it seems like some African Americans are less inhibited about saying whatever's on their mind, so I was afraid that that was what was going to happen when I bought my purchase up to the till. So there's another angle on this saga for ya...it was racist of me to assume that I'd be ridiculed, I admit, and that was part of my problem...and even if they *did* ridicule me, so what, right?

[Angie G]

idot't see why you girls get so nervous just go in the store get what you want pay for it and be on your way nobody is going to slap you
Angie

[goofus]

Not that you owe them anything, but you could show them your web page, and that you're not some robber casing the place but a CUSTOMER. Have you spent your money there before? Wouldn't hurt to mention it if you have.

Show them this site, and this thread and how it potentially reflects badly on the company.

Did anyone in the store offer you help while you were there? There's no reason for you to be so nervous, but the store reaction was way over the top.

I'd pursue this to the HQ if necessary, if for no other reason than to try to prevent anyone else from being harassed in that store. If thngs don't work out, don't go to another of their stores. Find a company that actually wants your $.

They offered me help...I said in a friendly way that I was just looking...honestly, I guess I'm naive, but I never thought in a million years that they'd call the cops on me...

Jennifer, I should mention that I was in drab for this whole misadventure...