Ok, why do you attempt to pass. If I go out to pass it is because I want to be validated as female, nothing else. I'm not looking for a man, I'm looking for women to accept me as female.
If I can go to a store, pick out women's clothing and go to the dressing room, be smiled at by other women, I had the time of my life.
I personally don't even want contact with a man. My whole reason for going out as a woman is to be accepted as a woman.
What is your reason for striving to pass?
Last edited by Jennaie; 02-04-2008 at 06:37 PM.
[SIZE="3"]Jennaie`[/SIZE]
I'm not sure I want to pass. I'm so new at this that I think I'm more afraid of being caught than of achieving passability.
Wow your right its for yourself not for anyone else, and its that simple, it's your own self image that your competing against, just as the GG's I have talk to are doing.
Hugs
I try to pass because I see myself as a woman and that's how I would like others to see me. I am not interested in "fooling" anyone for the purpose of "fooling around". I want to be the best "me" possible.
Jenna
[SIZE="2"]There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. - George Sand[/SIZE]
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I can't explain why I need to pass, any more than I can explain my urge to dress as a woman...but I have no desire to trick some guy into having a relationship with me. I've met many CD'ers through this site and elsewhere, and some of us have developed relationships in which I take the woman's role, but it is based on something shared.
Exactly the way I feel.Originally Posted by Jennaie
Jennaie, that is an interesting question.
I just want to do normal things, like taking a bus, taking a walk or buying something in a store, as a woman, because I feel my best when expressing myself as a woman.
I have no interest in fooling anyone, but I do have great interest in being accepted as I am. Thus my present need to pass is mostly a need to not be rejected.
If there were a transgender village, or a truly tg-friendly one, I would live there and never worry about passing again. Indeed, I am hoping one day to find a tg communiity where I can live a happy and productive life among people that I can love and be loved by, without having to fight for acceptance.
I agree whole heartly
Tough one Jennaie. I used to ask myself all the time just why am I doing this? I think the answer originally was so that I pass as a woman but again the question, why? While that may have been the original motivation for me, with a lot of introspection and soul searching, I've come up with my real answer which is a more solid one for myself.
My dichotomy created a lot of internal conflicts for me and a lot of division of self. I've met my feelings head on and have addressed them and incorporated them into my overall self. In short, I have embraced those feelings and are no longer ashamed of them or afraid to express them. I used to think having so called "softer" feelings made me weak because I was brought up to be a "man".
I've realized just how absurd that kind of thinking really was. Instead of making me weak, those feelings actually made me stronger and basically "fireproof". Instead of being fragmented my feelings now work in concert and are additive rather than subtractive and the whole is really greater than the sum of it's parts.
So, while the original premise for me was "passing" as a woman, what it has developed into is being comfortable being myself and the outside presentation is merely a reflection of that. While it is really no longer necessary for me to dress up, I still have a lot of fun with it and if nothing else, it shows others the freedom of expression I possess.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
If I get to go out again I will try to get as close as i can to passing if I don't quite make it I don't really care I will be someplace people don't know me.
Angie
I agree Jennaie! My desire to pass if for me. I enjoy being a woman and that means doing what any other woman does in a normal day. It is just who I am.
Eileen
My feelings to "pass" is not the main reason I dress and I have no intension of fooling around with men or women. I want to be accepted and treated as a woman and dress because I really enjoy it and am comfortable with it, all of it - picking out clothing, body shaving, applying makeup, setting my hair in curlers, polishing my nails, doing all the things a GG has to do. It is all part of who I am and I've learned to accept my feminine side. Wish others would do the same.
One thing I have discovered while out dressed, is to act normal. That is act like you do this everyday. The first few times I went out dressed around the public, I had to subpress my fears, so that I would project that fear. When you project your fear, others pick up on it and will notice you. After that first few times, I loss my fear and stated feeling and acting like my normal self, only I was dressed with full makeup and wig. Then I started noticing people did not pay much attention to me. I even had GG's look right at me, smile, and then turn away to look or talk to someone else. That was when I realized I was passing. I do have some things going for me. I am only 5'8" tall, 150 pounds, so I can wear 3" or 4" heels with out standing out. I wear a size 12/14 dress and size 8.5 heels. I wear a waist chincer to help make my figure look more fem. I also don't have a noticable adam's apple. All of these combined help me when I'm out dressed. So far it is working for me. Even today, occasionly I will notice someone reading me, but so far no one has mad a fuss about.
Although I'm not attracted to men either, I like to be accepted and do normal life activites as a woman.
I dress properly for wherever I'm going because not only am I dressing up for myself, but I am representing crossdressers and so I want to present myself appropriately when I'm out in public.
Hugs!
Last edited by joann07; 02-04-2008 at 08:55 PM.
JoAnn
I love to see a beautiful woman in a nice dress, but then again, I also want to wear that dress.
Jennaie, you said it for me. When I go out in public (which is not often) I like to be validated as a woman. I dress to fit in.
When dressing at home I may wear outfits that wouldn't pass in public, but that's just me being myself, no-one to please but me.
[SIZE="2"]Always be true to yourself because the people who matter don’t mind, and the people who mind don’t matter.[/SIZE]
Jennaie you pretty much summed it up for me too. I just want to be able to be myself when i go out, i,m not interested in getting chatted up by guys, i just want to do what i do now but "en femme". I want to go shopping, go to the cinema, go for a coffee, walk my dog, etc. I just want to do it as Debs thats all!
I go out for the thrill, it is always an adventure. I have few illusions that I can pass anywhere but at a distance on a dark night but, if I am doing something I try to do it to the best of my ability. It is always a bonus if a meeting gives the impression that you are accepted for your superficial female appearance, i.e. looked at with no reaction.
Beauty is in the smile of the beholder
A wonderful response. It reflects what others have said and did so in few words. I have always admired Abraham Lincoln for his ability to say in just a few sentences what took others pages to try to explain.
In the past week or so, with so many threads on passing, I was beginning to think I was the "odd one out" for thinking the way I did.
Thanks girls, all of you.
[SIZE="3"]Jennaie`[/SIZE]
When I go out I want to be treated like a woman
To avoid ridicule .... or worse
When I look in the mirror, I prefer to see a woman looking back - and to be treated as one, when I'm out. But I don't kid myself anyone assumes I was born a woman?
Nicki
[SIZE="1"]Moi?[/SIZE]
It makes me happy when I pass because then I know that people have seen the real me.
While we all want to look great and be treated like ladies, especially by other (gg) ladies, I think a majority of what we call "passing" is in the mind. Therefore, for myself at least, it's a boost of confidence, which primarily takes place with-in.
Again, my 2 cents.
Caroline Emily
Co-Moderator
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Jennaie, you said it perfectly. My reasons for trying to pass are exactly the same. And I'm not looking for a man either. I am 100% straight.
Very well stated and to the point.
[SIZE="3"]Jennaie`[/SIZE]
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