trying to relate

[Sarah Plumber]

I can imagine the way you must feel about yourself. I have wife who also has big problems with her body. It sometimes causes all sorts of problems at home. Please believe us when we say you look good. We mean it and a crossdresser will know the difference I can tell you!

He will be feeling scared as well. Embarrased and guilty all at the same time. he will need reassurance as much as you do. If you work together and talk about it anything is possible. Take it slow and maybe buy him something femanine. It doesn't have to be clothes to make it count. It's surprising how much the little things work, certainly for me. Just recognition helps a lot.

Yes there are different levels as with everything. becarefull you don't push him further than he is ready to go or you may find the situation reversed. He'll think your'e a bit odd!

I hope it all works out. It sounds like he his a very lucky guy!

[Emily Ann Brown]

My GF is larger than myself.....doesn't mean she isn't beautiful to me.

If he told you he is a CD then it's a great sign he REALLY wants you forever....most of us just don't tell the world that we are not like the majority of men (and thank God for not being like the majority of men BTW). He must trust you explicitedly. Relish in that trust.

Sex and gender are two separate things dear. If they were one and the same then there wouldn't be gays and lesbians. Assume he meant what he said about liking women sexually and relax. And if he did want to be with sisters then don't assume he desires a sexual relationship with them. I love being with sisters.....I don't have to be anyone but myself around them, and they understand me because we have a commonality.

Emily Ann

[Nicki B]

So there are different levels of cross dressers?

Sadly, some people do treat it as a hierarchy..

But yes, we are hugely different in the way we need to dress - frequency, what we wear, where we wear it (and who with)... This is a broad community?

[RikkiOfLA]

Dear Chrimsonfyre,

You raised several important questions. I will share my answers to them, but of course your answers may be different. I'm no expert here--this is just my own experience. Your boyfriend's and yours will be different.

Why does he do it?

As you can see, most crossdressers have no idea why they do it. I do know why I do it (probably doesn't apply to him). And it doesn't really change anything except reminds me to accept my CDing, and that it's not my fault.

I was born in 1949. My mother was 40 when I was born, and had miscarried twice before me. She was given "an experimental new drug" called diethylstilbestrol (DES), a synthetic estrogen, that helped prevent miscarriages. As was discovered later, it sometimes caused boy babies to be born transgendered. That's what happened to me. It was taken off the market in the USA in 1954. It was sold in some third world countries for years after.

I'm not bitter about it; I enjoy being transgendered and it's sure better than being a miscarriage! :winking:

Where will it go?

Of course, everyone is different. Most crossdressers--about the same percentage as other men, are heterosexual, and married crossdressers who have accepting wives have statistically lower divorce rates than average. So, will he end up gay? Unlikely. Will he end up a transsexual? This happens to about one in a thousand crossdressers. So what he says in answer to these questions you can believe, I think.

I went somewhere different. I'm a full-time crossdresser. That means I dress full time as a woman. I don't take female hormones and have no desire for surgery. This is quite rare. I know of three of us on this board (out of about a thousand members?) who dress most of the time and I've known a couple of others in my life. I can still dress male if I need to or if it's easier. But like others have said, most crossdressers don't even want to go this far--they're quite happy being male most of the time.

The bedroom is a great place to dress! It's still my favorite place. It adds a little spice to making love, and a gives a good reason to dress sexy/lingerie/****ty/fantasy etc. For both of you, if you like. Visit stores like Lane Bryant, Torrid, and Ashley Stewart. They carry adorably cute/sexy clothes and lingerie in your size!

Going out dressed together is a blast! If he ever wants to try that, you will probably enjoy it together. In most cities there are nightclubs that welcome crossdressers (and their wives). Few wives go, unfortunately. So when you hit the dance floor together, you will really turn heads!

Shopping together can be real fun. Each of you can help each other pick out attractive, pratcal, good fitting clothes. And if he goes dressed, you can share the fitting room. He can go in and out bringing you additional things to try. And if the nearby fitting rooms are empty, you can secretly make out in the fitting room.

Your body issues

So having a crossdressing boyfriend can help you deal with your body issues. He probably won't be as hung up on your imperfections as an ordinary man might be. And he's more familiar with female clothes. He can suggest cute things you can look good in--believe me, there are lots of them!

Is he likely to leave you? He'd be a fool! Acceptance like yours is rare and valuable. He probably knows this already--you may be the first person he has ever told, and you are probably the most accepting person he has ever/will ever meet. He'll think twice before he leaves you or cheat on you!

Be creative and loving. Your acceptance of his crossdressing opens the door to an even better relationship! Enjoy!

Sincerely,
Rikki

[icequeen]

Wow...thank you so much, all of you. I'm just still trying to deal with the reaility of all this and I'm scared. Scared of losing the one man I've loved more than any man in my life to another. i guess only because I don't understand completely yet how this all works...when you've never been around it or known of it except hearing about it on tv or something, it's something the average person finds odd or out of the norm and automatically make you think he likes men. I guess I am blessed he felt he could tell me and share, he says only one other person knows, and that is his best friend bubbles. I accept him, I'm not going to leave over this, I just need to learn to understand and not feel threatened by all this. I want to be the woman he loves forever, no matter what. I want him to want me...